Fuck!!!! I'm Having The Alpha Princess's Baby.

"What do you mean by dirty secrets?" Princess said after a long pause, like she was carefully rethinking her next words. She had even paused her game after her player got killed again, so now I had her full attention.

She set the controller down on the table, the screen still glowing with the red defeat letters, but her focus had completely shifted over to me.

"You know what I mean, Princess. I really want to know what happens behind closed doors... what are the things you’d rather take to your grave?" I said, using the cutest voice I could so I could make her talk more and eventually spill.

"Wow, it’s called take to your grave for a reason..." she muttered. She let out a dry, low chuckle under her breath, shifting her weight slightly as she looked at me with an unreadable expression.

"Come on, what are your hidden secrets, Pancake? Let it all out," I said. I tried to keep the tone playful and light, acting like we were just playing a silly game, hoping she would just laugh and start dropping details without thinking too much about it.

"Is there any reason for the sudden question?" she asked.

Her eyes narrowed just a fraction, tracking my expression to see if I was hiding something. She always did that, reading me like a book before I could even finish my thoughts.

I thought about denying it, wanting to say it was just a couple thing, sharing secrets so we could know each other’s strengths and weaknesses. I wanted to play it off as standard relationship stuff, the kind of deep talk people do when they are sitting close together and have nothing else to do.

Not wanting to admit that I wanted to know about her secrets because Haley said she and Sasha tell each other everything. The thought of that still rubbed me the wrong way, a tiny knot of jealousy tightening in my chest because I hated feeling left out, especially when it came to her.

"N-no reason, bae. I just want to know your tiny secrets..." I said. My voice hitched a little on the first word, a quick stumble that I hoped she wouldn’t pick up on, though my heart did a fast, nervous flutter against my ribs.

"Okay... what kind of dirty secret do you want to know, and what’s the level of dirtiness?" she asked with a smirk, putting one foot on the chair and resting her head on her knee so she could focus completely on me. That smirk made her look incredibly confident, almost like she was turning the tables on me and playing a game of her own.

Level of dirtiness? What does she mean by that? Does she really have dirty secrets? The question caught me completely off guard, making my mind race through a dozen different bad scenarios in a split second.

I stared at her face, the way she waited for my reply with that smile on her lips, and something started telling me I wasn’t going to like whatever came next. The playful mood suddenly felt a little heavier, a creeping sense of regret starting to settle deep in my stomach.

"Just list them. I don’t need to know the levels," I said. I tried to sound firm, brushing off her question quickly because I didn’t want to show her how much that word levels had actually rattled me.

"Okay, but first tell me you won’t get grumpy after this and start another riot, because I know you. You always get mad over little things," she said. She didn’t say it meanly, but her voice was steady and completely sure of itself, which only made me want to defend myself even faster.

"What? I don’t get mad that easily..." I crossed my arms, frowning at her accusation because I honestly didn’t think I was that difficult to deal with.

"Yes, you do. Whenever I say something you don’t like, you bitch about it, get mad, and either avoid me after," Princess said. She checked off the points with a slight nod of her head, completely calling me out without hesitating for even a second.

"When have I ever gotten mad?" I muttered, thinking she wouldn’t hear me, but she did. She gave me a look like she was about to list our entire life history. It was that specific, patient look she gave me whenever she was about to prove me wrong, and it made me shift uncomfortably where I sat.

"You do, babe. The recent one was when you didn’t like the fact that I told you to go to bed. Then you started the whole independent situation, saying you didn’t want to just be some pup bearer and that I should stop treating you like a baby to be tamd. You get mad over my words so much that I sometimes have to pause and rethink what I’m about to say so I don’t upset you," she said.

Hearing her say all that out loud made my face flush hot. I remembered that argument perfectly, which was settled over the chinese food I was eating, how defensive I had felt, but hearing how she had to walk on eggshells around me felt like a sudden splash of cold water to my face.

"Okay, I see what you’re talking about..." I said, waving my hand for her to stop, but she continued anyway. I wanted to cut her off before she could bring up any more examples that would make me feel even smaller.

"And the worst part is that you spit out words that burn into people’s skin, but as the bigger wolf, I always hold back because you happen to be my girlfriend. If you were someone else, I would never accept the fact that you sometimes say hurtful things. You’re lucky my wolf likes you just as much as I do, otherwise she would’ve rampaged on you," she said. Her voice dropped a bit lower there, showing a flash of that real Alpha authority that she usually kept completely hidden when it was just the two of us.

"So I do say hurtful words?" I asked quietly. My defensiveness completely drained away, replaced by a sudden, heavy sinking feeling. I looked down at my hands, suddenly unable to keep eye contact with her.

"Yes, you do. The other day you called me and my friends the Coco Trios. No one has ever insulted our friendship except you, multiple times" she said. "We three might have our ups and downs, but we always stay together."

"I thought you said you were just using them until the pups arrived and then you were going to dump their asses," I said, remembering what she told me in the mall elevator about feeling lonely even with them around. I threw that back at her, trying to find some solid ground to stand on, reminding myself that she had been bitter about them too.

"Yes, I did say that. But after what happened recently, I realized they’re the only people who don’t see me as just some Alpha-born but as a friend. We’re messy, but we’re always there for each other." She folded her arms. "I realized that if the world turned on me, they wouldn’t. They’re not just friends, they’re family."

"Even when Beam was driving recklessly?" I asked, my voice small. I was grasping at straws now, trying to justify my dislike for them, trying to make sense of how quickly things had changed between them while I was left looking like the bad guy.

"That’s one of our downsides, but I assure you it’ll never happen again. Beam will never drive you again." She gave a firm, final nod, closing the subject with absolute certainty.

I still didn’t know what Princess saw in those two girls, but hearing her say they truly mattered to her made me realize I had been insulting people she cared deeply about.

A wave of guilt washed over me, heavy and uncomfortable, as I realized how my sharp tongue must have actually cut right through her defenses.

I knew I could be sharp with my words sometimes. I knew I lashed out whenever I felt insecure or small, using mean words as a shield before anyone else could hurt me first.

"I’m sorry if I upset your feelings sometimes... I don’t always mean what I say," I muttered. The apology felt heavy in my throat, but I forced it out, wanting her to know that I didn’t actually want to cause her pain.

"I know. That’s why I don’t get mad. After all, I saw the signs and still chose to be in a relationship with you." She shrugged lightly. "I’m not angry. I’m just asking if you won’t go bonkers once I start listing my dirty secrets."

"Okay... I won’t."

I muttered it softly, because seriously, how bad could her secrets even be? It was just secret telling. How angry could I possibly get from hearing her out? I squeezed my hands together in my lap, bracing myself for whatever she was about to drop next, hoping my own temper wouldn’t prove her right.