In This Life, The Greatest Star In The Universe

Idol E Sports Tournament.

It was the former Dolleympics that TBC used to hold every holiday, abolished and reopened this time as an E sports version.

Even if it wasn’t like the old days when it pulled in sky high ratings every time it aired, it had been called a holiday staple program every year. It seemed TBC couldn’t quite let go of Dolleympics.

“Still, it’s way better than getting hurt, right? Our bodies are our assets~ With E sports, at least we don’t have to worry about injuries.”

“That’s true.”

“But, Sergeant.”

The guy with gently curved eyes sidled up like a fox.

“Why did you come?”

“.......”

“This junior is very, very~ curious why you came. I mean, someone who can’t even write the ‘G’ in game, how did such a humble person end up here.......”

“You only know who’s better after comparing. How do you know I’m bad at games?”

Eunsung went “Hng” and said,

“Wasn’t what I saw in the admin office enough? You can’t even last ten seconds in Minesweeper.”

“.......”

“Everyone in the country knows you’re bad at games, Sergeant.”

A painful memory resurfaced.

The administrative officer had once watched me play Minesweeper and said I was the type to fall backward and still break my nose.

“No, but really, how did you end up coming? If NewBlack was appearing, I thought Jiho senior would come.”

“It just kind of happened.”

The goal of this Chuseok variety shoot was short and impactful.

An E sports tournament like this was the perfect opportunity to leave a big impact in a very short time.

“Get eliminated in the preliminaries and come back. You have to die in the most impactful way possible!”

“Well, you probably won’t even need to try. If you just play like you normally do, you’ll gloriously die first place and come back.”

“Die with honor and return, hyung.”

“Don’t try too hard. It’s fine!”

Those smug faces flickered in my mind.

I trembled slightly, took a deep breath, and turned to the junior who was hovering around me.

“But why are you here? You’re not good at games either.”

“Sergeant.”

“Yeah?”

“We don’t have a choice.”

“Ah.......”

Eunsung laughed and put a hand on my shoulder.

“People like us in the lower class go when the broadcasting station tells us to go. We can’t sit around debating whether to appear somewhere like you, Sergeant, who wields absolute power in the entertainment industry.”

“I, I see.”

“Please remember your tadpole days, O frog.”

I burst out laughing at his ridiculous tone.

As I shook my head at the junior who was pleased that he had made Sun Wooju laugh, someone nearby came to greet me.

A gloomy handsome man wearing skull earrings.

A rocker looking handsome man who seemed like he’d be good at blowing bubble gum put his hands together politely and bowed.

“Hello, senior. I’m Boogie from Trickster.”

“It’s been a while.”

“Senior, if you don’t mind, may I ask you something.......”

I nodded at the serious faced Trickster member.

“Ask comfortably.”

“Would it be alright if I put a hole in your body today.......”

Eunsung doubled over laughing.

The guy shrank his shoulders, so tense he didn’t even seem aware of what he was saying. I smiled and said,

“Boogie.”

“Yes, senior.”

“You’re talking about the game character, right?”

“Ah, yes.”

“Relax. It’s just a game.”

Had a rumor spread that I was that petty? I let out a dry laugh at the polite question of whether he could kill my character in game.

I waved to the retreating Trickster member and returned greetings from around me.

“Hello, senior. I’m Rui from Lucky Girl! Have a lucky lucky day!”

“Hello! Senior! I’m Osan from Osan, Gyeonggi Province!”

Most were junior singers.

Some I had met on music shows, others not. Senior singers were really rare here.

“Have I been around that long already.......”

“You don’t see seniors?”

“Yeah.”

“There really aren’t many. Last year there were quite a few.......”

Back in 2014 or 2015, there had been seniors like Daydream and Girls on Top all over the place.

But at the 2017 E sports Dolleympics, only three years after debut, I was almost the most senior. It wasn’t that there were no seniors, but compared to before, they had drastically decreased.

I felt like I understood what it meant for idols to undergo a generational shift.

“Oh?”

I spotted a familiar face and greeted him.

“Hello, senior!”

“Oh, hi.”

It was Jun from Daydream, who had just entered the studio.

He had been the team captain when we played basketball at Dolleympics, and he was quite tall. I had to tilt my head slightly to look up at him.

He looked awkward among the younger singers, but brightened when he saw me.

“I’m really glad at least you’re here, Wooju. I don’t know any of these kids....”

“I’m really glad to see you too, senior.”

We weren’t that close, but sometimes shared circumstances like this created a sense of camaraderie.

Seeing Eunsung step aside, Jun wore a slightly gloomy expression.

“Am I... intruding on the younger kids’ fun?”

“No, senior. Kevin over there is just shy.”

“He didn’t look shy on variety shows.”

“That’s different from his real personality. His MBTI starts with I. That’s what he says anyway, though it’s not very convincing....”

Chatting with the Daydream member who claimed he was also an I and felt a sense of kinship, we waited in the studio.

Under the logo reading Idol E Sports Tournament, game booths were set up.

Near booths equipped with the latest headphones, mice, and keyboards was the commentary desk.

I looked at the list posted on the studio wall.

[Group 1 Preliminary]

Daydream Jun, La Rose Yubin, NewBlack Wooju, APLB Kevin...

I scanned the names in Group 1 preliminaries.

Twenty participants including me.

“Four advance to the finals from here.......”

“Do we really need to calculate that? You’re going to get eliminated anyway.”

I whipped my head around and Eunsung ran off, going “Hehehe!”

Just as I was about to chase him, the PD picked up the microphone.

“All participants, please take your seats.”

I entered the designated game booth.

Staff who had been bustling around checked each computer and gave the OK sign.

The idols seated in booths began launching the game.

“Let’s see. Log in like this.......”

Recalling the few times I had practiced with Jiho, I clicked the game icon.

“It’s insanely popular these days. For someone clueless like you, it’ll be much easier than League or Overwatch.”

Though it hadn’t been out long, people were already talking about its PC cafe market share.

A tragic concept where people who parachute down point guns at each other for survival.

You drop empty handed, pick up guns and items, and the last one standing wins.

I remembered Jiho’s answer when Biju and I had asked why survivors didn’t cooperate instead of fighting.

“Hyungs, the fact you’re asking that is why you’re bad at games~”

As if he was any good himself.

I stretched and put on the headphones.

Idol E Sports Tournament commentary desk.

Ace’s Fail, popular entertainer Mo Beomju, and famous E sports caster Jung Hyunjoong took their seats.

“Yes! The 2017 Chuseok Special Idol E Sports Tournament, individual preliminary!”

“The top four here advance to the finals. Caster Jung Hyunjoong, how do you see today’s results?”

“Well. I don’t know about the others, but isn’t the most likely elimination obvious to anyone?”

Laughter flowed from the desk.

The recording camera zoomed in on the handsome man seated in the booth. Mo Beomju commented,

“Yes, it’s Wooju, leader of the NewBlack clan. The most likely elimination candidate today.”

“To be honest, Wooju is publicly certified nationwide as ‘game clueless,’ isn’t he?”

“That’s right.”

“Personally, I’m very excited. Will he live up to that reputation? Look at him now. He’s doing yoga stretches alone in the booth. Empty barrels make the loudest noise!”

While the commentators exchanged jokes, the PD and staff behind the cameras smiled happily.

“Wooju.”

They had never even dreamed NewBlack would attend.

Thanks to the injury free E sports concept, teams like Teen Spirit and Street Boys had gladly agreed to participate, but NewBlack was now a team that stations couldn’t easily call.

A group that had conquered domestically and now appeared on Billboard.

Even now, the staff watching NewBlack Wooju looked at him like he was a visiting foreign superstar.

“Thank you, Lemon. Thank you.......”

Even if it was obvious the company had sent him to finish filming quickly and return, they couldn’t help but feel grateful.

Just being able to put the keyword “NewBlack Wooju” into the Dolleympics teaser was enormous.

As the PD nodded contentedly, the assistant director approached.

“PD, the chat window is ready too.”

“Okay! Good.”

This E sports Dolleympics had partnered with a famous game streaming company.

During staff rehearsals, they realized that due to the nature of E sports, it was hard to pull out entertaining moments.

So the commentators would interact with idol fans watching the stream.

“Display the chat on the commentators’ monitor. Did you set the banned words?”

“Yes, 412 words.”

“If anyone says nonsense, kick them immediately. Don’t let the commentators get distracted.”

“Um.......”

“Yeah?”

“The chat is lagging.”

“.......”

The chat was stuttering, likely due to Souffle logging in.

Watching the rapidly scrolling comments, the PD swallowed.

“That’s like a natural disaster. We can’t help it.”

“Yes, PD.”

And after all preparations were complete—

At the production team’s signal, the commentators shouted excitedly,

“Yes! We will now begin the first Idol E Sports Tournament! Shooting game individual preliminary Group 1!”

“As we speak! The match has begun!”

As twenty participants jumped from the plane with parachutes, Souffle watching their monitors swallowed.

“It’ll open, right?”

Fortunately, the soldier character in floral clothes safely opened the parachute.

The ID read Kim Deoksun’s Man.

Apparently it was the nickname Sun Wooju used when ordering at Siren Order.

“Yes! Wooju! A good start. He’s landed in a very good location. A great place to obtain items.”

“But it’s also highly competitive. What weapon you obtain here can determine the outcome of the game......”

“As we speak, many players are gathering.”

Characters with parachutes landed and gathered ~Nоvеl𝕚ght~ at warehouses ideal for loot.

Rough looking characters sprinted!

But while everyone else was running, Wooju was walking.

“Could it be he doesn’t know the run key?”

“That... could be! Or perhaps it’s strategy!”

Just then.

Kevin of APLB, who had acquired a gun, began firing wildly.

“As expected of Kevin! No seniority here! Kill first! Then wave afterward!”

“Oh! La Rose Yubin! Eliminated!”

“She’s taking off her headphones and smiling cutely! Hahaha!”

Bang bang! Bang bang!

And the moment gunshots rang out, Sun Wooju, who had been walking toward that direction, turned around and began walking away.

As if deliberately ignoring the crime scene.

The chat burst into laughter.

“Exemplary citizen behavior.”

“Right. If you hear gunshots, you avoid them.”

“Sun Wooju is a baby... run away.”

“He’s walking while escaping. Did he forget the run key?”

“Someone tell Wooju the run key.”

Perhaps conscious of that, Sun Wooju began jumping.

“The only key he knows is jump.”

“Please tell him how to run.”

“Sun Wooju, he was a kind flea.”

As Sun Wooju slowly fled, eliminations were occurring one by one on the battlefield where many had gathered.

Trickster’s Boogie smashed senior singers’ heads with a frying pan.

APLB’s Kevin rampaged around, displaying a broken personality. Shooting someone and then approaching to wave!

“Kevin, be careful on your way home.”

Meanwhile, the camera showed Sun Wooju wandering alone at a distance.

Wooju discovered a vehicle!

Jumping to express joy, he approached and boarded it.

And.

“Wooju has no license! No license!”

Crash crash crash!

The car that had been driving fairly well hit a guardrail and sped down a hillside.

The commentators and production crew burst into hysterical laughter.

Crash!

The car collided with a tree, flew into the air, and tumbled on the ground.

“His genre is different.”

“Not even good ironically.”

“It wasn’t a concept.”

Sun Wooju climbed out of the broken car and jumped as if to show he was fine.

Then he walked toward a cluster of small buildings—

“Yes! As we speak! Sun Wooju has started running! Finally!”

“A historic moment!”

All eyes turned to Sun Wooju, whose play was unbelievably poor.

The floral soldier stopped running.

He spotted a three seat motorcycle on the street.

Just as Sun Wooju attempted to mount it—

“Huh! Someone’s coming from behind!”

A rough, bulky character with twin tails was charging toward him.

“Ah! He’s been spotted. Lucky Girl’s Rui! Charging at Sun Wooju with a muscular build!”

Flustered by Rui’s clumsy approach, Sun Wooju hurriedly mounted the three seat motorcycle.

And.

Rui ran up—

“They’re riding together!”

“They both look flustered!”

The muscular character and the floral character sat together on the three seat motorcycle.

Vroom—

The two characters riding off looked awkward.

“They don’t know how to fight.”

“Driver, please take us to Yeonsinnae.”

“Senior, can I carpool?”

“So cute.”

“Both confused.”

“Sun Wooju doesn’t seem to know how to get off.”

“The motorcycle is heading to the river! Mutual destruction!”

Not knowing how to dismount, Sun Wooju drove the motorcycle toward the river.

But Rui got off midway.

Splash!

Sun Wooju alone plunged into the water as the motorcycle crashed by the riverbank. The floral soldier spun and fell into the water.

“This is self inflicted disaster.”

He barely avoided drowning, climbed out, and charged at Rui.

Like a circle dance, he swung his fists at the fleeing girl group member.

But—

Thud!

After boldly charging in, Wooju took one punch to the head from the muscular character and began running away.

“He’s running!”

“A punch to the head hurts.”

“No plan survives first contact.”

As Wooju scrambled away—

Suddenly, a motorcycle roared from somewhere.

It was worse.

Like a scene from Mad Max, Kevin of APLB sped in.

“Kevin was lying in ambush! Once he bites, he never lets go!”

“Wooju is in danger!”

Kevin began firing at Wooju’s back as he fled.

Bang bang bang!

Kevin fired warning shots near Wooju’s heels, as if toying with him.

And as the motorcycle charged to ram Wooju—

“Huh?”

Wooju pressed the wrong key and dodged perfectly, sending Kevin flying off a cliff.

The screen seemed to go into slow motion.

Sun Wooju’s character locked eyes with Ha Eunsung’s character.

“...Huh?”

The motorcycle fell through the air.

“Kevin! Eliminated by falling!”

Laughter exploded both in chat and on set.

Already eliminated participants rolled off chairs laughing.

Wooju, seemingly bewildered at surviving, looked down from the cliff and then jumped away.

Seven survivors left.

People began saying Sun Wooju might actually make top four.

Sensing it, Wooju’s face on set began to show a confident smile.

“Confidence is appearing on Wooju’s face. ‘Is today my day?’”

“Will he wash away the sorrow of being game clueless!”

Other players’ screens appeared.

Lucky Girl’s Rui, nicknamed Punch King in chat, eliminated Boogie with a frying pan.

Players dropped one by one.

When the screen returned to Sun Wooju, the audience admired.

“He looted well.”

Helmet, guns, fully equipped, Wooju ran toward the shrinking center.

“Could he actually make finals......?”

Just as hope rose—

Wooju fired at car tires as he passed, warming up.

He entered a densely built area.

He pulled out a grenade and threw it at a building with enemies.

“Help! Pythagoras!”

“Power of trigonometry!”

But the grenade hit the wall and bounced back.

Clunk.

“Grenade: hello.”

It exploded.

Boom!

Sun Wooju’s character somersaulted through the air.

Laughter erupted on set.

“Oh no!”

“He was doing well until the end! What rank?”

“Fifth! Eliminated! He did not disappoint!”

Eliminated in preliminaries.

Despite the most disgraceful play, the national idol leader finished fifth.

When I removed the headphones, laughter poured from all around.

“.......”

Heat crept up my face.

Ignoring people clutching their stomachs laughing, I closed my eyes tightly.

“Fuuu.......”

The commentators ran over laughing and held out a microphone.

“How do you feel about being eliminated before the finals?”

“Fuuu.......”

Looking around at those laughing, I spoke firmly.

“A singer... speaks with the stage, not with games.......”

The studio burst into loud laughter.

On the bright side... I did get impactful scenes for the Chuseok special variety.

“Hahaha!”

“My dignity may have gone to Andromeda, but......”