In This Life, The Greatest Star In The Universe

It’s lunchtime.

While the staff grabbed their coats and headed out one by one, we clustered together on the break room sofa.

We set our phones into their stands on the table.

Each of us took out the lunchbox our management team had brought.

“Alright.”

I rubbed my palms together and said,

“Let’s open our lunchboxes first.”

As everyone lifted the lids at the same time, a collective groan escaped.

In a bad way.

Ji-ho stuck out her lower lip.

“Honestly, even though this is from my dad... at this point it feels like my stomach is going to turn inside out.”

“Today’s grilled chicken breast.”

“Well, at least it’s not boiled.”

“Right. We should eat it with gratitude.”

Inside each lunchbox was grilled chicken breast.

Lately Ji-ho’s father had been sending diet lunchboxes.

The so-called “Hoho diet lunch” for people on diets.

Chicken breast salad.

I stared at mine for a moment, then held it out to Ji-ho.

“Ji-ho, yours has a mustard heart drawn on it. It’s yours.”

“Oh, seriously. I’ve got to tell my dad to stop doing stuff like this. It makes me look like a total kid. I mean, I’m practically—”

But the youngest, sulking at the older brothers’ disdainful smiles, glared back in annoyance.

Ri-hyuk clicked his plastic fork and clicked his tongue.

“Stop whining, you dummy. When are you going to grow up? And it’s not ‘practically,’ it’s ‘practically.’ What’s ‘practically’ anyway, onion?”

“Onion. Now I want to eat onions.”

“That grilled onions at that gopchang place were so good...”

“If I had a time machine I’d go back to then.”

Seeing my brothers staring blankly into space made me laugh.

They’d been like this a lot lately.

They were all clutching their hungry stomachs in misery as they went on a strict diet for our second album promotions.

Thanks to it, my abs were forced to show, but I was at an age when I needed to eat plenty.

Ri-hyuk waved his fork dismissively.

“Don’t pretend you’re the same age as us.”

“Hey. A four-year difference isn’t that big.”

“It’s big when I was in sixth grade and you were in ninth.”

“I admit it.”

“Jung-hyun. Stop giving in so easily. Ri-hyuk, haven’t you heard that O Seong and Han Eum in the Joseon era were five years apart and were best friends?”

The youngest’s eyes lit up.

“Oh. Then can I speak informally?”

“Go ahead.”

“Woo-joo.”

At the youngest’s sudden address, not only did my brothers, but even I, burst out laughing and clapped like seals.

The youngest shook his head.

“But... it tastes worse than I thought. It’s weird and my stomach feels queasy. Guess being the cute maknae is just my nature.”

At his words we laughed among ourselves and lifted our forks.

As we began to eat the dry chicken breast, Bi-ju tapped the smartphone on its stand.

To watch a mukbang.

Though we were eating chicken breast, we tricked our eyes with a food show so that what we were eating wasn’t really chicken breast.

But Bi-ju played a random video.

–Title: “Starlight.”

A fan meeting filled with the soufle’s cheers.

When the video uploaded to the company’s YouTube played, angry fans turned their gaze to the main dancer.

“Bi-ju.”

“Yes?”

“Weren’t you going to show us something that would make us feel full just by watching?”

“Yes. With the fans’ love...”

“That... that’s nice too, but let’s watch something else. Us.”

Bi-ju pouted, and Jung-hyun spoke up.

“I thought this might happen, so I prepared something, hyung.”

“Oh, Jung-hyun.”

“I’m excited for the video our gopchang fairy prepared.”

Jung-hyun’s phone was placed on the stand, and soon the video played.

A newly adult lion charging at a gazelle to hunt, only to get slapped and sent tumbling.

–Oh dear. Leo failed at hunting again today! Ha ha!

While the narrator’s playful voice rang out, the dejected lion trotted off toward the sunset.

“...”

We all turned away at once, and Jung-hyun said,

“Aren’t you feeling full?”

“How on earth am I supposed to feel full...?”

“Leo failed hunting and starved. But we don’t hunt and still get food.”

“It’s a bad idea to feel happiness through someone else’s misfortune, hyung.”

“Right. Kim Jung-hyun. Reflect on that.”

“Uh... that’s not what I meant.”

“Honestly, I’d rather watch Da-gil’s cabbage mukbang, Jung-hyun.”

“Oh. I have that.”

“Save it. Please.”

After our scolding, Jung-hyun mumbled, “Poor Leo...” but we turned on the break room TV.

A sushi food show.

We got sucked into the TV and acted out a play among ourselves.

“Wow, Jung-hyun hyung. That tuna sushi on your fork looks so delicious.”

“No, it’s spam sushi. See the nori wrapped around it?”

“Soy-sauce shrimp... that looks good... what I’m chewing now is soy-sauce shrimp.”

“Bi-ju hyung, why are you doing this? I’m not joining this pathetic play.”

Meanwhile my phone vibrated.

A short text from Director Jo.

–Next to you

Confused by “Next to you,” I tilted my head, and another text arrived.

–To your right

At “right,” I turned to the right and stared blankly.

A group of people stood in the hallway.

Company staff.

Among them Director Jo stood tall, waving and smiling, while Seok-hwan hyung tried to stifle laughter as he photographed us with his phone.

When we looked over, the staff burst into laughter.

All four of us blushed, while one person showed no shame.

One’s face turned as red as a turtle shell on the TV.

“Woo-joo hyung.”

Bi-ju whispered.

“About that movie we talked about. Men in Black. I watched it recently.”

“...Oh.”

“I want to use that gadget...”

I silently empathized.

“Seok-hwan hyung.”

“Yes.”

“Why on earth do you share stuff like that on the company messenger?”

“It’s fun.”

“...I’m going to make you a diss rap with Jung-hyun.”

“Go for it. Good luck.”

I trembled as I looked at our math genius smiling kindly.

In the conference room, when Seok-hwan hyung and I spoke, the others snickered.

When I glared at them, everyone avoided my gaze.

“Um, please forget what you saw in the break room... ah, team leader...”

The head of publicity choked, then burst out laughing, causing another round of laughter.

Director Jo turned his head with a big grin.

I didn’t feel this way as a trainee, but after debuting, the company atmosphere changed.

Unlike actors who seldom visit the company, we’re always here for practice, so we feel familiar.

A publicity staff member once joked that we’re like unicorns in many ways—I’m not sure exactly what she meant, but it seems to fit.

“Alright, let’s start the meeting.”

Director Jo clapped his hands and the meeting began.

The playful expressions vanished, replaced by serious professionals discussing figures, statistics, and progress.

Album production was nearly complete.

Recording was done; only jacket photos and the music video remained.

“The fan meeting is getting unprecedented reactions. Not only our fans but other idol fandoms are responding positively.”

They reported on its success.

I couldn’t follow the sales figures exactly, so I just smiled at the good feedback.

They showed comments fans left along with the rapidly growing download numbers for the free release of “Starlight.”

I’d seen it all before coming here.

“By the way, about the schedule.”

Seok-hwan hyung said,

“You’ll probably go to the Mango Chart Awards in mid-December. KMA didn’t work out.”

The end of 2014 was approaching.

Important events for idols were in preparation.

K-Net Music Awards by music channel K-Net was scheduled for December in Hong Kong, followed by Mango Chart Awards by the Mango streaming site.

KMA had started voting for Rookie of the Year; we were candidates but unlikely to win.

The cutoff was the end of October; groups like Street Boys or Blink, who had already promoted their second album, might qualify, but we’d come back in November.

Besides, our company and K-Net weren’t on good terms—probably due to actor-related issues.

Anyway, these awards and the year-end stages on the three major terrestrial networks were big for us.

Unlike low-rated music shows, these stages attract both idol fans and general viewers.

If done well, it’s a huge chance for attention, so many idol groups prepare fiercely.

“It’ll be hectic. You’ll have to do music shows plus awards and year-end stages.”

How many stages?

Three networks plus one awards show—four total.

The terrestrial networks would give us minimal time, so the awards stage would be the most important.

“We need to prepare gradually from now on.”

Director Jo nodded.

“Think of good ideas among yourselves. Plan stage direction now; it’ll be tight to book dancers.”

“Yes, we’ll discuss it with the younger members.”

The production meeting moved on to staff participation.

From the newly contracted stylist director, photographer Hwang Tae-sun, who’d worked on the fireworks shoot, to director Yoo Gun from the Magic School commercial—names I’d heard.

Each name made me dizzy.

It seemed more expensive than the first album... where’d they get this budget?

“Let’s wrap up staff discussion. Any suggestions?”

“Um...”

I hesitated, then started.

“Lately people have been appearing near our dorm or the company.”

Everyone nodded as if expecting it.

So-called sasaengs.

They’d appeared sporadically around Jae-han’s contract, but now the frequency was rising.

“We’ve been ignoring them, but the younger members worry. We hardly go to convenience stores now.”

I’m not big on masks, but lately I wore one with a hat out of habit.

Min-gi hyung often accompanied me, but there were limits.

“Someone with bad intentions could show up.”

“We were going to hire another bodyguard/manager... we’ll look into it.”

“Thank you.”

Instead of rotating actors as before, they’d officially assign a road manager.

I overheard staff saying: “Make them intimidating,” “Height requirement over 190,” “But no violent tendencies.”

And with that, the meeting ended.

As I stretched and left the conference room, the head of publicity stopped me.

“By the way, Woo-joo, about your birthday...”

“Oh, yes.”

“You said you’d leave a greeting video for the fans.”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“You don’t have to. From our standpoint your emotional well-being is more important...”

“It’s fine, team leader. I can leave a simple greeting video.”

I smiled and spoke, and the team leader nodded, still worried.

Since my birthday fell on my parents’ anniversary, she looked concerned.

I smiled again. It’s really okay.

As we began the visual work for the second album, a big change finally came.

Styling.

At photographer Hwang Tae-sun’s studio for the album jacket shoot, I was showing off the new change.

–What’s different about your hair?

“It changed from brown ◈ Nоvеlіgһт ◈ (Continue reading) to black.”

–Is that so?

“Aren’t you paying attention to me?”

–I’m not your girlfriend; how would I know? Anyway, it’s so dark I can’t see it, damn...

The crew nearby laughed, so I turned the volume down three clicks.

–Show Bi-ju and Jung-hyun some light.

“Hello. Kim Bi-ju and Kim Jung-hyun transformed into Sun Woo-joo~”

–Stop that nonsense.

“...Seriously, I’ll never send you my photocards.”

They panned to the others sitting beside me.

Ri-hyuk and Jung-hyun with brown tones, and Bi-ju bleaching his hair blonde, waved.

“Hello!”

And then,

–Oh my, Ji-ho’s hair looks like it’s soaked in kimchi juice. Why did you make it so red?

“It’s pretty, right?”

–Depends on the viewer.

“You really are Grandma’s kid, Woo-joo hyung...”

The youngest, with bright red hair, pouted, and Grandma Kim Deok-soon laughed in the video.

We laughed along, then tried to keep a straight face at the youngest’s mischievous glare.

After introducing the younger members, we resumed the warm conversation with Grandma.

–If there’s something you want to eat on your birthday, let me know.

“Really?”

–Sure.

“Then make me lobster.”

–You... #$#%#%

At the festival of all twelve zodiac animals, we switched to mute for a moment.

As we enjoyed our affectionate chat, Min-gi hyung called.

“Woo-joo! You’re up first.”

“Yes! ...Grandma, I’ll go now.”

–Alright, don’t get cocky! Be humble. Got it?

She fussed with worry to the end.

As I smiled to end the call, Bi-ju held out his hand.

“Hyung, can we talk with grandma a bit more?”

I wanted to say “No, Grandma Kim Deok-soon is mine,” but it felt petty, so I generously handed him the phone.

Then I bowed to greet photographer Hwang Tae-sun and approached.

It was time to get back to work.

HBS MTV reality show “It’s the New Black,” Episode 6

Gangnam-gu H Studio

The camera approaches the four members huddled in a dark corner.

In the small inset screen, the leader narrows his eyes in the studio.

“Hey? Did you guys eat snacks without me?”

“Ha ha! Look at Woo-joo hyung’s eyes wide open.”

“How could we eat without you, hyung?”

“(Satisfied)”

The producer’s question in the VCR.

Producer: What are you doing there?

All: “Ah... that...”

They quickly brushed cookie crumbs from around their mouths with vampire-style makeup.

“Wow... wow...”

“We have complicated circumstances, hyung.”

Producer: What did you just eat?

All: “Nothing?”

Producer: There’s a cookie bag in your hand.

Ji-ho: “(Quickly handing it to the producer) Now you’re an accomplice too, director.”

Ri-hyuk: “Feed him quickly.”

As the members enthusiastically offered cookies, the producer’s laughter was captured on the VCR.

“We’re actually preparing a birthday event for Woo-joo hyung... but we can’t think of ideas. We had to eat sugar to boost ideas.”

Jung-hyun: “That’s right. That’s right.”

Ri-hyuk: “It’s scientifically proven. You need sugar for your brain to work well.”

They discussed the upcoming birthday event for Woo-joo in front of the reality camera.

Producer: How about a hidden-camera prank?

All: “(Flinch)”

Ji-ho: “Absolutely not. This isn’t one of those rumors in our company...”

Ri-hyuk: “Unwritten rule.”

Ji-ho: “Yes, that. There’s a rule never to surprise Woo-joo hyung. He’s like a human weapon...”

Meanwhile, as the members spoke, the screen cut to black and white showing Lemon Entertainment’s CEO Park Gyu-ho making a surprise appearance.

Like a cable TV reenactment drama.

With Sun Woo-joo turning his head sharply, CEO Park’s astonished eyes were shown in close-up.

With shaky camera work and a middle-aged man clutching his back on the floor in overacted pain.

Back in the studio, the members laughed uproariously, while serious discussion continued on screen.

Ri-hyuk: “How about this?”

At his whispered suggestion, the members reacted.

Just as they were about to elaborate, the next preview rolled and the album production segment began, ending the episode.