In This Life, The Greatest Star In The Universe

“Five minutes until the broadcast starts.

As befits Thursday’s popular variety show, the internet began lighting up.

Overall, the mood was one of low expectations.

And it was understandable. 𝚏𝗿𝗲𝐞𝚠𝕖𝐛𝗻𝗼𝐯𝕖𝚕.𝚌𝗼𝗺

The last idol special they did was an all-time disaster, filled with the hosts’ forced humor and the guests’ stiff reactions.

After it aired, criticism articles like “What’s wrong with ShinTokki these days” came out one after another.

Longtime viewers who remembered that time were simply displeased.

Even viewers uninterested in idols knew this lineup.

TNT or Teen Spirit were names you couldn’t miss if you had any friends in school who followed them.

Wild was known as the athletic idol who sometimes shone on sports variety shows.

NewBlack...

When listeners who had reacted negatively at the word “idols” began to perk up at the word “NewBlack,” the broadcast finally began.

At the same time, today’s teaser—like someone high on something—played, sweeping away all negative predictions at once.

ShinTokki’s opening began with the MCs’ banter.

The guests appeared, introduced themselves, and the MCs chimed in with comments.

NewBlack’s Uju appeared with a radiant smile.

Footage cut between the writers behind the camera applauding excitedly and Uju smiling.

“Hello. I’m NewBlack’s Uju.”

After his straightforward introduction, the MCs added their comments.

At the same time, bright flower CGs in the background began to wither, revealing a twist.

For almost a minute, archival footage played.

Like news scenes from across the globe in a movie opening, Uju’s cringe past flashed one after another.

His comment about the problem with the fanclub name being Soufflé.

His reaction when he got his first #1: “Oh, it’s real.”

A scene from Music Channel P’s music variety where he was so drunk he didn’t realize it was non-alcoholic.

An idol show where he yelled “Deoksun is mine” at a cat.

And finally, the legendary Woo Zhenmin who appeared on Taiwanese news.

Under Uju’s face, serif subtitles appeared like in a human documentary:

“Sun Uju (age 23, master of cringe history)”

As the TV guests dropped their jaws and stared at the ceiling, viewers burst into laughter.

Viewers applauded and marveled at the achievements he’d made just one year into his career.

Next came a simple talk corner with a lie detector.

While male-majority internet communities with many ShinTokki fans were quiet, idol communities were on fire.

Every time a guest’s face appeared, fans of each group commented happily.

Occasionally posts like “Did NewBlack fake it?” or “The fake-idol trend continues” popped up, but they were quickly drowned out by Soufflés’ tearful efforts like “Love you, Uju” and “Brush Yoohō’s hair.gif.”

With each idol’s weakness revealed, the atmosphere remained one of laughing enjoyment.

Then a scene began to catch fans’ attention.

“I’ll try to guess.”

Footage showed NewBlack’s Uju guessing the voices of members from Street Boys and TNT.

A clumsy Sherlock Holmes costume graphic was overlaid on Uju, and detective movie background music played.

When everyone predicted failure, Uju began guessing each group member’s voice one by one.

Not only that, he explained each voice’s characteristics as he went.

A subtitle encouraged viewers: “You at home, give it a try too!”—the staff even set up a challenge.

But hardly anyone got it right.

When Street Boys were on, reactions were muted; once TNT appeared, the forum exploded.

Even the self-proclaimed superfans who said “I’m the realest fan here!” failed to guess all of them.

The mystery deepened.

“How on earth does he tell them apart?”

TNT fans replayed the online videos over and over, but only shook their heads each time.

They got the easy ones right, but as soon as the difficulty rose even slightly, they missed.

They thought it was this member, but it was that member.

They thought it was that member, but it was this one.

One member’s voice distortion was so strong that people said “I have no idea who that is.”

Only after ten tries did they finally go “Ah...” and get a foothold.

TNT and Street Boys fans stared at the screen with blank faces.

Whenever Uju sitting on TV smiled faintly, it seemed to say, “You can’t do this, can you?”

“Unbelievable......”

Fans’ gazes shifted to other idols on screen they had ignored until now.

Meanwhile, TNT fans had their own reason to be amazed.

“We’re close!”

Because TNT’s junior line had mentioned being friendly with NewBlack’s Uju first.

Unlike TNT’s senior line, known for their wide connections and social prowess, the juniors were famous for being shy with strangers.

Interviews said they could be unreserved once close but it took a long time to warm up.

So when they said “Whoa, sunbaenim, stop it!” and claimed they were close, it was surprising.

Short clips of TNT members’ testimonies—expressing that they’d hoped Uju would succeed since their trainee days—were edited together.

“They don’t pretend not to know us just because we’re rookies!”

“Right!”

“At official events, show some closeness! It’s too formal!”

As TNT members explained that Uju had deliberately downplayed their friendship to avoid causing trouble, Uju smiled sheepishly on screen.

TNT fans’ attitudes toward NewBlack’s member began to soften.

As discussions about Uju spread in idol communities and on SNS, with fans starting the “Voice Challenge” guessing game, at last Uju’s elementary school classmate appeared.

Stories of his prince-complex in elementary school played, drawing laughter on and off screen.

As past antics and fan-sign event episodes played—drawing laughter but also “he’s kinda annoying...” reactions—an MC asked,

“How did you even look back then?”

The producers showed a prepared photo.

“...Wow.”

The MCs’ eyes widened in surprise.

There he sat in a flower field, beaming as a kid—like a child model shoot.

His eyes were rounder and brighter than any foreign child model’s, his skin snowy white, his nose already sharp from childhood.

Mobile viewers unconsciously pressed to save the image; those who tapped to screenshot saw a black placeholder due to anti-capture, and felt sad.

Across multiple communities, posts exploded.

In an instant, the child Uju’s photo spread everywhere.

The ShinTokki production team monitoring these reactions blinked.

“PD-nim. Reactions are coming from the wrong place.”

“.......”

“They’re only talking about the photos......”

After over ten hours of editing, the biggest reactions were happening in an unexpected spot.

From one community to another.

From Korean communities to K-pop communities.

From K-pop communities to foreign internet sites.

A photo of an unknown child began spreading everywhere.

Han Taehyeon: [Hey, Korean baby]

Han Taehyeon: [LOL Korean babyyy]

Me: [It’s child, you fool]

Me: [You’re blocked for today]

Han Taehyeon: [But I—]

After blocking, the messages stopped.

How many is this now?

I think I’ve blocked at least five people so far.

“Sigh......”

My segment on yesterday’s ShinTokki caused huge buzz.

“Uju, Uju. The buzz is insane!”

As soon as I visited the promotions team, they greeted me with “Oh-so-precious, our fairy.”

They said I was getting a good response from the main 20–30 male and female demographic.

They said men liked my and Hanjo being terrorized by the “Men on the Go” PD...

No. Why do they like that?

Every time I see an article like “Uju, Men on the Go appearance confirmed,” I get so furious I could explode.

“Want to see comments? They’re good.”

“I don’t.”

An idol who did reservist training last year now must enlist again.

They say enlisted veterans empathize, but I think they just cover their mouths and laugh.

It’s lucky Eunseong’s rampage got pushed to Part 2 next week.

But the hottest reaction point was truly unexpected.

“The cutest child in the world...?”

Why is my photo circulating on some South American site?

A photo of NewBlack’s Uju as a child, started in overseas K-pop communities, was spreading everywhere.

“Where’s this from?”

“UK.”

“And this?”

“Personal SNS, says South Africa.”

Some gossip articles on foreign news sites asked “Who is this child?”

“Wait—here it says the name......”

“Why? Puhaha!”

One foreign media outlet, quoting Taiwanese broadcast footage, labeled me “Zen-min Woo.”

“Sigh......”

I gave a hollow laugh watching fake news sprout up everywhere.

Some asked “Whose Korean celebrity is this photo?” and someone posted actor Lee Geon-woo’s photo.

At the promotions team’s notebook, I asked,

“What’s this about skin tone?”

“They say he’s too white......”

People commented that Koreans aren’t that pale, asking if the photo was overedited.

Like telling me to “Love Yourself”...

“And this one...?”

“Oh, Japanese people are spreading it as a Japanese baby......”

How many nationalities do I have?

Chinese say I’m a Chinese baby; Japanese say I’m a Japanese baby.

As the scale grew, so did the scale of misinformation.

In American communities, some conspiracy claimed a virus was hidden in the Korean child photo.

Watching the reactions to the photo, I clicked my tongue.

It really has spread everywhere.

I’d heard of a global village but never experienced it like this.

At this rate, my childhood photo might become more famous than me...?

I sighed deeply looking at photos spread across world sites.

“Why so glum? Didn’t you like it?”

“No. If I knew, I should’ve debuted as a kid.”

The promotions team burst into laughter.

They joked about time-traveling to gather our elementary school selves and debut as “Kids Black.”

“Right, Uju. You were trending on search just yesterday.”

“Oh, really?”

They showed me searches like “NewBlack Uju military” and “Uju Men on the Go.”

“I won’t bring coffee next time.”

The promotions team giggled among themselves.

They talked about new ads we got thanks to ShinTokki until someone asked,

“Hey, Uju.”

“Yes?”

“Someone’s posting a rumor about being your elementary school classmate. Should we take company action?”

“A rumor?”

One staff asked cautiously,

“Yeah. They say you were so uncoordinated in elementary school, spreading unbelievable rumors.”

“.......”

“Fans screenshotted and sent it, but we need to verify.”

“I—I really was uncoordinated as a kid.”

“......Really?”

“Yes. It was true.”

I kept explaining to doubters that “Yes, I once had those days” and left the office.

My phone lit up.

Ha Eunseong: [Hyung]

Ha Eunseong: [Um...]

Ha Eunseong: [Are you the famous Korean baby?? lol]

“......”

I tapped my fingers.

Me: [Your fly is down]

Ha Eunseong: [Really?]

Ha Eunseong: [Where are you seeing me?]

Ha Eunseong: [No? Or am I?]

Me: [Yeah]

Me: [Good greeting]

Replies poured in, but I just smiled and blocked.

That makes six.

“Sigh......”

But sadly, the people I most want to block I can’t.

Second-floor studio.

I opened the door and was greeted by a pack of hyenas.

“Baby Zenmin!”

“Kekeke!”

“Our millennium baby is here! Kya kya kya!”

JungHyun, holding a handycam, narrated “Today Uju’s mood is not good,” as the juniors clapped and laughed.

I ignored them stoically, opened my laptop, and worked on music.

With headphones on, I adjusted the track when Viju poked my back.

“Oh, hyung.”

“Hm?”

“There’s a message from Street Boys. They said to definitely deliver this to you.”

Viju handed over an A4 printout.

At first I thought it was an award, but I burst out laughing.

It read:

“Concrete Honorary Member: Sun Uju.”

“They must’ve been impressed by you guessing their voices yesterday. Their fans made this for you.”

I laughed seeing a line like “We support the Minto faction’s friendship.”

Holding the certificate I asked,

“Is there any perk?”

“They said you can enter their comeback showcase when they perform. It’s official from the company.”

I laughed looking at the message Viju showed me:

“DNS Media announced that at Street Boys’ comeback showcase, honorary concrete member Mr. NewBlack’s Uju is also welcome to attend.”

That promotions team over there sure knows how to hustle.

Smiling, I returned to my laptop, then remembered something I wanted to ask.

“Hey, Viju.”

“Yes?”

“Is there anything you want to do next Monday?”

We’ll prepare an event, but if the person wants something, we should do it.

Viju thought carefully, then spoke.

“I want to go there.”

“Where?”

“The family restaurant.”

“Family restaurant?”

“My parents took me there for birthdays when I was little.”

He said he hadn’t been since Minjun got sick.

Even as a trainee, JungHyun suggested going together, but he hesitated, thinking it might be selfish.

I nodded at Viju’s subtle expression.

“Alright. Let’s go.”

There’s no music show Monday.

The company cleared the schedule, telling us to rest, so we’d have free time.

“We should make a reservation.”

Family restaurant.

Behind the counter, an employee answered the phone.

A pleasant voice asked to make a reservation.

“Ah, reservation? Monday?”

“And the name?”

Then the person asked,

“Yes. Of course. We have kids’ menus.”

The employee caught on.

“My kids?”

She pictured elementary-school children thinking “I’m not that kid!”

Smiling, she explained various menu options.

“Shall I prepare child seats as well?”

“Yes, to make sitting more comfortable...”

Impressed, they agreed.

The employee checked “child seat” on the note.

“Yes, yes we do.”

She pulled out a form and hovered a pen over “Child’s name: ___.”

“What’s the name?”

“Kim...Viju.”

“Yes, we can.”

“Alright, we’ll prepare that.”

They ended the call with smiles, completely unaware they were talking about two entirely different ✪ Nоvеlіgһt ✪ (Official version) things.