In This Life, The Greatest Star In The Universe

“What is this mysterious SNS?”

“......”

I clicked on Senior Cha Woo-hyun’s other SNS post together with my younger brothers.

@cha_cow

(A photo of Cha Woo-hyun wearing the first-place cloak from the Best Song Squad.)

“I got first place >ㅁ<”

#Best_Song_Squad_1st_Place #Vocal_Dignity

My head spun.

What on earth was this post that didn’t match his stern face at all? And everyone was commenting as if it were completely normal: “Oppa, you’re so cute ㅎㅎㅎ,” “Cutie as always.”

I looked it up and apparently he’s nicknamed “Muscle Fairy” and “Muscle Cutie.”

According to Wikipedia, those nicknames came from his SNS image contrasting with his usual appearance.

No. This is way too different.

People who only see him briefly on TV might find it cute, but those of us who know the real him were completely flustered. So that senior we saw earlier is this kind of person...?

I stared blankly and swallowed.

“The manager must have written it for him, right?”

“That’s probably it. I want to believe that. This is... an area I can’t accept.”

Ri-hyeok said as if it must be so.

We decided to assume the manager wrote it on his behalf. Unless it’s a case of multiple personalities or possession, there’s no way he wrote it himself.

“Let’s write a thank-you reply too.”

We logged in with the official account and under his post replied briefly, “We’re the ones who are more grateful!”

Spring arrived.

We tore off the March calendar hanging in the dorm and launched into a happy spring cleaning.

“Ugh, give me a break......”

“What do you mean ‘break’? Hurry up and take out the trash. If you don’t, I’ll make you clean the bathroom.”

“Waaaah.”

“Sigh... I love cleaning. I love it so much.”

...That’s the kind of cleaning we did.

Beyond cleaning, we could feel spring everywhere.

We dressed lighter, and at midday golden forsythia and azaleas swayed in the breeze.

This time last year we were touring with Something at events; time really flies.

Come to think of it, Senior Jang So-won sent a screenshot via chat.

Something had re-entered the daily charts like a vagabond, making the daily chart lower ranks again after glittering on the real-time chart.

Last year we joked it might become an annuity, and it really seemed to be happening.

It was odd that a track released in February last year was climbing the daily chart a year later.

Meanwhile, the general public was surprised in another way.

It seemed due to the gap between recognition and the song’s success.

The song was nationwide, but Senior Jang So-won’s impact was much greater. At that time, we were rookies who hadn’t even properly debuted, so hardly anyone paid attention.

Maybe as a reaction to that, our past broadcast activities were being rediscovered these days.

“Woo-joo, congratulations.”

Whenever we ran into A&R staff at the company, they congratulated us.

“I bet another hit will drop. At this rate, we’ll be living off Something every spring.”

“I’m jealous. I wish I could just sneak in as the arranger.”

“Woo-joo, don’t you need a composing servant? I’ve been free lately.”

Their eyes were full of envy.

When I bashfully avoided them, thinking they were teasing me, the A&R team gleefully chased after me.

But my reaction wasn’t just shyness or embarrassment.

I was worried.

Of course it was good that Something climbed the charts.

Our clips from the music café were being rediscovered, and plenty of royalties were piling up so I could buy Grandma Deok-soon or the members something nice.

But since it was tied to our third album, I felt strange.

What if Something, released a year ago, was booming while our third album’s title track fizzled out?

The worry kept building, so we decided to ask our mentor for a meeting.

“All right.”

Director Jo Gyu-hwan smiled.

“Can you tell me exactly what part concerns you?”

I spoke up to Director Jo, who was listening calmly.

“All the company’s resources are focused on the third album right now.”

“Our managers already scheduled broadcast appearances to promote the third album, and the costs for the album jacket and MV shoots are insanely high. Everyone in the company is working so hard for us.”

While practicing, whenever something sparkled at the practice room window, I’d look up and see the CEO at the door watching us. Then when our eyes met, he’d hurriedly run away. I guess he doesn’t want to put pressure on us, but I understood. If I were him, investing that much money I’d want to know every detail of the progress, too.

Other staff didn’t show it to avoid making us feel pressured, but I could tell they were anxious about this third album preparation.

“We want to meet expectations and do something great, but we’re worried we might not.”

To be precise, we were afraid the third album might chart even worse than Something is charting now.

After I finished, the younger members chimed in.

“Lately at school, the idols who debuted with us ask how this album is, trying to scare us.”

“Since we’ve listened hundreds of times every day, I’m not even sure anymore if our songs are good these days.”

“I personally have no worries, but everyone else’s worries worry me.”

“Because everyone poured their heart into this album, it feels like it should do better, but not knowing the outcome makes me worry every day.”

Director Jo sipped his coffee.

“You seem to feel a lot of pressure.”

“No, no.”

I waved my hand, afraid of misunderstanding.

“It’s not that the company is putting pressure on us, it’s just how we feel.”

“It’s true your pressure has gone up a lot now.”

Director Jo said evenly.

“It’s natural to feel that way. I know exactly how you feel. I went through it, and so did the Scarlet girls.”

We nodded.

That was why we requested this meeting with Director Jo. He’s a composer with countless hits and has succeeded in nearly every project he’s handled. While our worries were minor compared to his, we hoped he’d understand.

Director Jo smiled.

“And with everyone talking about you, the attention on you has increased, right?”

“Yes.”

“You know what I mean. Everyone you meet shakes your hand saying, ‘We’re looking forward to this promotion.’ Some people look at you with envy.”

It was true.

Even at the broadcast stations, everyone we met said they were looking forward to our third album. Occasionally someone would say, “That history exploration show was so fun!” but you could sense the bitterness hiding behind it.

Whether good or bad, the number of people paying attention to our career was incomparable to the second album era. Soufflé fans waiting with bated breath for the next album also multiplied.

“It’s natural to feel this way. Anyone would. Especially in this industry. You feel it too, right?”

“......Yes.”

Having entered the entertainment world, I felt it was quite similar to the military. Instead of ranks there are levels, and treatment changes drastically. But unlike the military where once you get promoted the rank is maintained, in this industry your level can change daily. Yesterday’s private could be tomorrow’s sergeant, and today’s sergeant could be tomorrow’s private.

Wasn’t that anecdote from a top star on a talk show? The director who always politely called him “Mr. So-and-So” on set started calling him “hey you” after a scandal.

In simple terms, the ones saying, “Oh, Sergeant So-and-So” one day may slip up and say, “Hey, you” the next. No wonder celebrities suffer anxiety.

We were the same. Our second album had been so successful that we rivaled TNT, and during our break both Best Song Squad and History Exploration were hits. Staff and industry people who used to speak roughly to us before debut were now as gentle as spring sunshine. Just look at how photographer Hwang Tae-seon’s attitude changed on our jacket shoot.

But if our third album stumbles or does poorly...

Ugh.

I didn’t even want to imagine.

“Success brings more pressure.”

Director Jo handed out drinks. I took the steaming cup of cocoa.

“Because your competition isn’t others, it’s your past selves. To succeed, you have to do better than last time.”

He, sympathizing, fell contemplative.

“Hmm, advice on this... I have nothing specific to say.”

He replied with an awkward expression.

“I want to give you clear answers, but I still feel this pressure myself.”

“You do too?”

“I’m human, so of course. You two... Woo-joo.”

It felt like something had crept into his words.

Director Jo clasped his hands.

“There’s no special method for this worry. ★ 𝐍𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 ★ Even if there were, you can’t reduce it when it comes to your career.”

“Then......”

“You have to adapt. The higher you climb, the more it will grow.”

I suddenly thought of TNT members.

How did they overcome this pressure? I felt a newfound respect. The junior line I raised since trainee days, always giggling, must have gone through this climb too.

“That’s all I have to say.”

Director Jo said.

“One thing’s certain: this worry will stay with you throughout your career. Even for me and the Scarlet girls, it’s unresolved. On the bright side, having these worries means you’re in a fortunate situation, though......”

He trailed off, as if saying, “Everyone thinks from their own viewpoint.”

We quietly nodded.

“Thank you, Director. I feel like my thoughts are a bit more organized now.”

“You’ll get used to it.”

“Seems there’s no choice but to practice more.”

He laughed.

“One more thing: I think you need hobbies. When your body rests, your mind keeps working. It’s better if it’s a hobby that lets you clear your mind.”

“Hobbies......”

“Don’t say work-related stuff.”

I wanted to say “grandma Deok-soon fan club,” but bit my tongue. Director Jo’s gaze shifted to Bi-joo.

“I cook.”

“I exercise.”

“I like playing games.”

That turned out to be a trigger; Director Jo’s hand holding the coffee trembled.

“Ahem!”

He coughed, wiped his mouth with a handkerchief, and said,

“Is there something you can all do together? Like how the Scarlet girls go hiking.”

“All together?”

We looked at each other.

“How about a trip? Travel. It’s the most neutral.”

“I don’t like it.”

Ri-hyeok shook his head.

“If we travel, only Bi-joo hyung and I will do the planning. The other three will just stare and then add a comment here and there at each site......”

“Hyung. Half the work of planning a trip is packing and buying tickets.”

“You heard that?”

“But I still think traveling together is nice......”

Bi-joo murmured regretfully, and Jung-hyun, slurping konjac jelly, spoke up.

“How about a package tour?”

“No way. Travel means backpacking.”

“Agreed.”

Ji-ho and I high-fived.

I continued,

“Jung-hyun, if we go on a package tour, the internet will say ‘Idols who went on a package tour together.’”

“Street Boys or other idol seniors will tease us mercilessly.”

“Hmm, is that so?”

We were discussing hobbies we could all do together. Travel came up naturally. Although Ri-hyeok questioned whether travel could be a hobby, we quickly concluded.

“Fine.”

The maknae waved his hand like it was a bother.

“You guys just show up. During the trip I’ll take care of your room, board, and clothing in total luxury. Suite rooms, restaurants, shopping at local department stores.”

“Ooh......”

“With enough money, travel can be a hobby... guys?”

“Ji-ho, Ji-ho.”

“Ah, stop it!”

We all stood up for a moment to praise how noble and loving our maknae was.

But whether we’d actually have time for a trip before the second half of the year was doubtful.

After much discussion, we decided to bring a table tennis table into the company. Outdoor walks were nice, but sasaengs had been increasing lately.

Meanwhile, as we intensified preparations for our comeback showcase scheduled for April 15, the entertainment world kept turning.

On the drama side, Sleep episodes 2 and 3 hit the jackpot, and Fox Gem’s ratings were climbing too. The OST “Windmill,” which Ri-hyeok almost took, had vanished like the wind—but gained cult popularity online. From PPL screenshots, even the chief prosecutor visiting the prosecutor’s office was shown reclining in a massage chair. People joked whether the Prosecutor General would try it next; the next episode teaser actually showed him in a massage chair, stirring the internet.

In the music industry, spring songs including Something remained near the top of the charts. During the first album era it was Street Boys, the second album era it was TNT, and now it felt like our past selves were beckoning us back.

But there was good news too.

Before, our PR team had to work harder than anyone to send out press releases, but this time reporters picked up our comeback buzz on their own. And for our first comeback stage on music shows, we’d get to perform two songs. Thinking back to when we only got a few dozen seconds in the first album era, it felt like a complete reversal.

The best part was Soufflé fans’ reactions.

Third album concept photos. Bright smiles holding their birth flowers in a field of blossoms contrasted with backgrounds that looked like post-apocalyptic scenes, earning positive responses. Jung-hyun sitting on an abandoned car hood. Ji-ho draping his coat over reeds. Ri-hyeok smoothing blood and wounds at his lip. Me gazing into the distance. But the most popular was Bi-joo lying in the reeds, turning his head to gaze sadly at his birth flower.

Ji-ho exclaimed,

“That expression is perfect. What were you thinking when you took that, hyung?”

“......I was thinking about food.”

“Ah...”

“I was so hungry I was sad.”

I decided never to reveal that behind-the-scenes to the fans.

As soon as they were uploaded, likes and comments skyrocketed. Normally I’d read and savor each one, but this time I decided to postpone it. I resolved not to check the internet until the comeback. The more I looked, the more anxious I’d get. I’d just practice quietly.

Wednesday, one week before the comeback.

“Hahaha.”

At the Best Song Squad waiting room, I burst into laughter, drawing whispers.

“Woo-joo hyung, you’re extra weird today.”

“Hey. He’s always been weird.”

“Agreed.”

“Hyung, are you okay?” 𝐟𝕣𝗲𝕖𝕨𝗲𝐛𝗻𝗼𝐯𝗲𝚕.𝗰𝚘𝐦

I warmed up my voice, listening to songs through my earphones.

“Ah, Deok-soon ah~~!”

“......”

“Deok-soon ah, why do you trample this brother’s heart so~”

“......”

Today was the special stage on Best Song Squad where I’d perform “Deok-soon ah,” the one I’d been looking forward to. During the pre-interlude before rehearsal to pump up my mood.

“Deong-gi-deok, kung, Deok-soon Deok-soon~”

Tap tap.

I heard someone knocking. I thought it was the FD’s rehearsal call, so I kept dancing. Then,

“Um......”

When I peeked out the door, my dancing stopped cold as our junior line from TNT stood there looking mortified.

“Why are you here...?”

“What are you doin’....”

We blinked at each other.

“......”

“......”

I don’t know how they felt, but at that moment I needed a time machine.