In This Life, The Greatest Star In The Universe

Sitting Ri-hyeok in front of the electric... no, the lie detector made my heart pound and flutter.

Buk-buk looked at me and asked.

“Your expression is really excited right now, Woo-joo.”

“I’m really looking forward to this. Ri-hyeok ranks second in the team for black history incidents.”

“Oh, second place already!”

“But he can’t compare to first place.”

“...Ji-ho, be quiet. Anyway, since his share of black history is huge, I have so many questions I want to ask.”

When I deliberately emphasized “so many,” his face went as pale as a sheet of paper.

I leaned in and teased.

“You’re nervous, right?”

“......”

“You will be. Ri-hyeok.”

“......”

“I’ll give you a chance to confess and be forgiven. Admit your sins to me quickly and earn forgiveness. Disbelief hell, Woo-joo heaven.”

“That’s right. Confess your wrongdoings quickly.”

“Right, right.”

All the members surrounded Ri-hyeok, pressing him, and the two MCs eagerly joined in.

Our main vocalist’s cheeks were flushed, and he looked utterly betrayed by the world.

“But I’ve been so good...! You guys shouldn’t do this!”

“We should.”

“Should we?” I turned to my younger brothers; they all nodded warmly. I tapped Ri-hyeok’s taped hand with my finger.

“Now, it’s decision time. Ri-hyeok. Before the Q&A segment, apologize to the members for your wrongs.”

“But I haven’t done anything wrong. Why should I apologize?”

“Are you sure?”

At my question, Se-ri, curious, asked.

“Has Ri-hyeok done a lot of wrongs?”

“Yes. Every time he came home he didn’t shake his shoes properly. They dragged him to the shoe rack, sat him down, and scolded him for not shaking them well.”

“I’m not good at waking up in the morning. Once I accidentally used Ri-hyeok’s toothbrush, and he grumbled at me all morning.”

“He eats too little.”

“......Are you not even ashamed of saying these things yourselves?”

I gave Ri-hyeok a bright smile as he stared at us in disbelief.

“No. We have no shame about that.”

“......Huh.”

But I could see doubt flicker across his sharp eyes.

He was angry that we were ganging up on him for no real fault, but he was also helpless, unable to repay us right then.

And it felt as though the electric shock device in front of him was grinning and waving at him.

Finally, Ri-hyeok made his decision.

“This is like King Gwanghae’s realpolitik diplomacy in the Joseon Dynasty. Back then, he played tug-of-war between Ming and Qing without taking either side. From a practical standpoint, this is my choice.”

Se-ri asked.

“Does that mean you’re sorry?”

“......Yes.”

“Waaaah!”

Like in a historical drama when a general declares victory and soldiers give a clumsy victory reaction, we all raised our hands and cheered “Waaaah!”

Bi-ju smiled contentedly and said.

“I love this atmosphere.”

“What do you love, hyung?”

“I just love this warm, friendly vibe.”

As Bi-ju pretended not to hear and smiled, I patted Ri-hyeok on the shoulder with a smile.

A look demanding I remove my hand returned.

“...What else now?”

“I understand your heartfelt apology. However—”

“......”

“We’re at work, so we should distinguish between business and play, don’t you think?”

“Ah! Really!”

“To fully ignite Ri-hyeok’s hand in burning fire, NewBlack will do our best. Shall we do our fighting cheer?”

“Great!”

“One, two, fighting!”

Before we knew it, the MCs had joined hands with us in the cheer, and Ri-hyeok looked at the production team.

“But the MCs too... isn’t this unfair?”

One camera briefly turned toward Producer Ko.

He winked and made an OK sign, and Ri-hyeok was momentarily speechless.

Se-ri continued.

“Then, Ri-hyeok! Please give us an honest self-introduction!”

“Yes......”

“You need to smile widely. You’re only looking at the camera now, but in two weeks fans will be watching.”

At Buk-buk’s words, Ri-hyeok’s cheek twitched.

If you thought you heard him grinding his molars, maybe that was just your imagination.

“Yes, hello, viewers and fans. As you can see, I’m the perpetually oppressed main vocalist, Ri-hyeok. My clan origin is Dalseong Seo, and next year I’ll be a senior in high school.”

“Wow, that was some completely uninteresting info.”

“Ji-ho, we can’t let Ri-hyeok get depressed.”

“Grrr... I like singing and organizing, tidying up.”

“Woo-joo! Saying ‘organizing and tidying up’ sounds like sugarcoating it. Honestly, don’t you feel a thrill thinking about cleaning up other people’s messes?”

“Not at all.”

When Se-ri placed her hand on the button, Buk-buk said.

“Only the electric shock of truth knows the answer.”

“Oh. A new-concept electric shock judge?”

“A zappy judge.”

Crude jokes flew around from all sides.

Ri-hyeok answered again, the button was pressed firmly, and immediately the judge revealed the truth.

Yes. A lie.

“Eeeeeek! Zap zap zap!”

To me it was just a little sting, but our sensitive guy had an extraordinary reaction.

Like a broken cat dancing, Ri-hyeok waved his arms, soprano screamed, the electric detector dangling from his hand.

The rising octave sounded like an aria.

Bi-ju said.

“Wow... that must hurt. Ri-hyeok, are you okay?”

“I swear I’ll never let this slide! Just you wait!”

Seeing that murderous look, Jung-hyeon said.

“Oh, I’ve seen eyes like that in a historical drama.”

“In which drama?”

“Jang Hee-bin.”

Everyone burst out laughing.

“Oh, Lady Hee-bin Seo?”

A silly pun floated around.

Except for Bi-ju soothingly patting his back, everyone kept teasing him, and Ri-hyeok trembled for a moment.

Then he continued his self-introduction.

“Yes, I do like cleanliness a bit. When I see dirt I get a bit excited thinking about cleaning it. Just a little bit. As much as some wicked leader over there enjoying himself.”

“Ah, as vast as the sea.”

“More like a puddle, hyung.”

“......Jung-hyeon.”

This time it was me who got hit.

The MCs and other members laughed and mocked him so much that he had to endure it for a bit.

Ri-hyeok smirked and continued.

“I have many nicknames, but unlike others, I like all the nicknames fans gave me.”

“Well, fans only gave you a few nicknames. We made most of them up.”

“Yes. That’s correct.”

“Woo-joo! Then here’s a question. I actually secretly like it when members tease me because it feels like I’m getting attention.”

“...Ah, why ask that?”

Se-ri asked us.

“When you tease him normally, does Ri-hyeok secretly enjoy it?”

“Yes. Not openly, but he does. When we monitor ourselves at home and he doesn’t get a reaction to his part, he’ll ask. Lying on the sofa like a turtle behind a cushion, ‘Ah... that high note was really hard....’ ‘Have my dance moves improved?’ and so on.”

Ji-ho perfectly imitated someone’s posture, and we all clapped and laughed.

Ri-hyeok himself seemed amused and lost his words for a moment.

Buk-buk asked Bi-ju.

“Bi-ju, you’re just laughing silently. How do you feel? Does Ri-hyeok really like being teased?”

“Uh... Ri-hyeok is a bit lonely?”

Lasers shot from Ri-hyeok’s eyes.

Bi-ju pinched his thumb and forefinger into a tiny gap, then narrowed that look to the size of a seed.

“Not a lot. Really tiny? He’s a needy friend.”

“Oh, hyung, why are you like that!”

As Bi-ju averted his gaze and scratched his cheek, I put my arm around his shoulder and said.

“Our clutch hitter is definitely Bi-ju.”

“Did I do well?”

Amid the whirlwind of jokes, Ri-hyeok pointed at his hand.

“When can I take this off? I feel like I’ve been like this for fifteen minutes.”

“Oh, of course. We’ve been neglecting the show. Then, should we answer Ri-hyeok’s last question?”

“......Well, since this is the last question.”

“Who decided that?”

A brief fierce protest followed.

But due to time constraints, we decided to close Ri-hyeok’s questions there.

“Since it’s the last one, let’s hear it honestly here.”

We all widened our eyes and flared our nostrils seriously.

Ji-ho laughed and said it was like a rabbit detective watching a bear being led away, but I didn’t get it.

Ri-hyeok glared as if saying “You idiots! I’m speaking seriously...” then quickly returned to his usual self.

“As if this is news,” he said casually.

“I’m actually quite lonely...”

“Eh-hey!”

At the word “actually,” the button was pressed like a robot, and we all started nitpicking.

Ri-hyeok, sounding aggrieved, said.

“Come on, can’t I say a word?”

“Go ahead.”

“Anyway, I’ll tell you honestly here. It’s true I get lonely. But hey, everyone feels lonely, right? They say solitude in a crowd—loneliness exists regardless of how many people are around.”

He spoke so eruditely we all swallowed.

He was accumulating more black history to be mortified by in five years’ time.

Unlike the two MCs who were simply charmed, we wore light smiles but our minds weren’t light.

We knew his backstory.

Ri-hyeok had lived apart from his parents since trainee days.

We didn’t know all the details; I’m not one to pry until someone tells me themselves. And Ri-hyeok wasn’t the type to broadcast his wounds.

But I wasn’t unaware he felt lonely.

He always said “leave me alone,” yet his actions said “please notice me.” When I read beside him, he’d glance my way, and if I asked “What’s the title of that book?” he’d light up explaining it. If he said he wasn’t hungry but Bi-ju gently dragged him to eat, he’d protest “I’m not hungry” yet do it happily.

So when Ri-hyeok said he’d speak honestly, I couldn’t help but lean in.

By then the ripe persimmon moment had settled.

“I do feel lonely sometimes. But as my leader Woo-joo said earlier, I’m really glad to meet the members.”

“So does that mean you like it when we tease you? Or not?”

“......”

“Okay, Ri-hyeok.”

I asked.

“Yes? Or no?”

“......I somehow ended up meeting people like you...”

“Ri-hyeok, you need to answer.”

“Ah, yes. Sometimes. Just sometimes, when I’m bored, being teased is nice.”

We all tilted our heads in unison.

“Nice?”

Ri-hyeok repeated.

“I do enjoy it sometimes.”

“Kids! Ri-hyeok says he likes it!”

“He says he likes it!”

“Woo-joo hyung! We were right after all!”

“...What are you right about, you crumb of a person? All of you, get out. Please.”

As we hugged shoulders and bounced around, one person slicked back their hair with a resigned smile.

Buk-buk, pressing the lie detector button, cocked her head.

“...Huh? Why isn’t this working?”

“What’s going on?”

“Noona, is it because you’re pressing too lightly? Let me try. Buk-a. You have to press firmly on these things...”

Se-ri stepped over, pressed the button firmly, blinked.

“Still nothing?”

“What did you say?”

Ri-hyeok’s head snapped ninety degrees toward the two MCs, then ninety degrees back to the front camera.

Staff rushed over, tapped the detector, examined it like repairmen with a precision machine. An older staff member replaced the spare battery and concluded.

“It’s broken.”

“Hey! Is there no spare for this detector?”

“...They say there isn’t.”

All this was caught on camera as Ri-hyeok’s face grew angrier, like a boiling persimmon ready to burst. Steam puffed from his nose and ears like an enraged bull. Bi-ju patted him gently as he stood beside.

Our second youngest asked cautiously.

“So, um...”

“Let’s end this corner with just Ri-hyeok. That’ll be funnier.”

“......”

In that moment, Ri-hyeok’s soul seemed to leave his body, and he slumped from the chair as limp as paper.

Thud.

A close-up of him was shown on camera.

“Nyuaaaah!”

As he wailed on the floor, the studio erupted in laughter.

A scene from a drama I once saw came to mind.

Rain pouring down, the furious male lead gets out of his car, pounds the bonnet, and shouts at the sky “You trash!” Here, the scene played out similarly.

His projection was so powerful that his shout echoed like an aria, and everyone laughed.

The writers brought over props and handed them to the two MCs.

Leaning on Bi-ju’s shoulder, our kid looked like he’d lost his mind. Se-ri approached and handed him something.

A wary, cat-like glance flickered.

“...What is this?”

“They said it’s a gem crown, a comforting gift from the writers.”

“But I’m already a high school senior...”

“Put it on.”

The plastic crown looked like something from a stationery shop. As soon as it was placed on his head, Ri-hyeok calmed down instantly.

We exchanged looks.

“He likes it.”

“Do you think he likes it?”

“He really does like wearing that crown.”

Maybe he’d once played princess in the playground; he looked delighted.

We felt happy everyone was satisfied by such a silly thing, except our maknae who sulked, “That’s mine,” but otherwise, all was well.

In this chaos, Se-ri swept her hair back, looking worn out by these kids.

“I haven’t been this tired since raising my own kid. Ah, I’m crashing.”

“Se-ri, your stamina isn’t what it used to be. Maybe you’re getting older.”

“...No. My condition’s just not good these days. Buk-buk, don’t lump you and me together.”

“I’ve been betrayed for twenty years straight.”

Se-ri and Buk-buk bantered, then gave the other three members a chance to introduce themselves briefly before moving to the next segment.

At a table set up like a police station, the “detectives” faced us in the “suspect” seats.

“We’ll go in-depth now, but it won’t be fun if we just do it plainly, right?”

“Yes, we have profiles on all of you here.”

Buk-buk held up a file.

“We’ll call out each of your charges. Show us your specialty to match.”

In other words, a talent show.

“It will be voted on by the production crew on site to decide the ranking. And the last place gets a penalty.”

“Now, show us what you’ve got.”

A staff member brought over a hot tteokbokki set, sponsor logo fully visible.

As expected from a sponsor, it gleamed invitingly.

The staff waved it under our noses and coaxed us to smell it.

The sweet aroma of the tteokbokki tickled our nostrils.

“I heard from the managers that you’re all fasting? You skipped breakfast?”

“Yes. You need an empty stomach for good filming.”

Se-ri nodded in agreement at my answer, then explained the penalty.

“As you guessed... last place cannot eat the tteokbokki!”

“Th-that penalty...”

“Do you see that over there?”

She pointed with the cue card at the iron bars.

“That person will be locked in that cell and only watch the others eat.”

“Whoa...”

“By the way, it really locks. I tried it earlier.”

“Ooh...”

Each time she explained, we reacted like animation characters, making the MCs laugh.

Staring at the tteokbokki, set ablaze with determination, I was called up first.

Before that, a mini keyboard was set up.

“Woo-joo, your charge reads ‘The crime of making a song out of any topic.’ What does that mean?”

“I handle composition among the members.”

I answered.

“In that case, how about you make us a show jingle?”

Though it was part of the agreed broadcast plan, as soon as I offered to compose the jingle, staff began raising shy hands even before voting started.

Seeing that, the two MCs laughed, building up the broadcast content.

NewBlack members watched their reliable leader sit at the mini keyboard and volunteer, smiling warmly.

His serious gaze, different from usual, was touching.

“Tteokbokki must be your greatest hunger, Woo-joo hyung.”

“Tteokbokki, indeed.”

“His eyes are aflame.”

At the same time, we all wondered what melody he would produce, having mostly written idol-related songs before. A new field like a show jingle was exciting.

“How will you make the jingle?”

“Well, first I’ll express the melodies I felt from the two MCs, then shape that into a jingle.”

“Ooh, I can’t wait.”

Just then, Producer Ko, watching on monitor, whispered to the assistant director.

“Who’s our guest for episode two again?”

“Daydream.”

“Proceed with today’s shoot as planned. We can slot them in comfortably in episode three.”

“Huh?”

The producer’s gaze lingered on Woo-joo deep in thought at the studio center.

“Halfway through the shoot and we’ve got this much. Think this could fill one episode?”

“Hmm. Including the planned segments afterward, one episode won’t suffice.”

“Right.”

“If they keep up this pace, we’ll have to tightly schedule two episodes. So much content is pouring out.”

“Well, let’s see how the later parts go, but there’s no way we can air just one episode.”

The two directors whispered among themselves as Road Manager Seo Min-gi watched from behind, smiling proudly.

“See? These are my kids.”

“...Ah, yes.”

But for the new manager, all he saw right now was the maknae sticking out his tongue at the focused leader, then getting a playful flick on the forehead.