In This Life, The Greatest Star In The Universe

I recalled the story I heard from Ri-hyeok not long ago

“At first I didn’t know who he was but when I thought about it his face suddenly came to mind. When I met him before he was younger so his face looked a bit different”

Before coming to Lemon Entertainment Ri-hyeok had been a trainee at Eoulrim Entertainment

Eoulrim Entertainment

One of the five small-to-mid sized agencies ~Nоvеl𝕚ght~ that, along with DNS and Lemon, hold year-end evaluations every year and is known in the industry as solid

Their specialty is vocals

Unlike other agencies that emphasize dance performance, Eoulrim specializes in nurturing singers

They’re like a hybrid between idols and singers

If you look at artists from Eoulrim they aren’t idols but many are solo singers or vocal groups with an idol-like vibe

For example the four-member vocal group Playlist, popular for their striking visuals

It was natural that dance-weak Ri-hyeok would join Eoulrim

“You remember right I told you I tried out at Fi Entertainment for dance and got cut So I applied to other agencies but kept failing because of dance I had no other choice”

Naturally, once the people at Lemon saw our monster vocalist they printed a contract before the audition even ended

That’s how Ri-hyeok became a trainee

He said everything went smoothly

Thanks to his overwhelming vocal talent he was nearly debut-ready in no time and the company people liked him

The problem was that Ri-hyeok hated that place

“Well every company’s atmosphere is different but there the rookie development team that managed trainees would give us disciplinary commands. If they told you to drop down you dropped down”

He said it made his skin crawl just thinking about it

“The problem was among the rookie development team there was this guy called Sato”

“Sato?”

“He was crazy on the fourth floor so they called him Sato Anyway he was the kind of guy who was way too buddy-buddy with trainees. If you were his friend he’d go easy on you but if he thought you weren’t he’d treat you harshly”

“Were you okay?”

“As if I was Okay he was itching to get me in trouble But since the CEO liked me he couldn’t touch me”

It was like how a top-ranked student can do anything and the teacher just lets it pass

“Anyway it was really bad. The smart trainees clung to that guy and gossiped, factions formed. The only ones flying solo were me and that Yoon Gi-won”

“So you already knew each other?”

“No We never spoke a word”

He said he always did things his way and Gi-won was an inconspicuous trainee with almost no presence

The only image Ri-hyeok could recall was a timid kid

“But when the higher-ups cause a fuss the lower ones get stressed with nowhere to vent”

“So he took it out on Gi-won”

“I guess so I wasn’t paying attention so I didn’t know much”

I could imagine the atmosphere

When people are stressed they look for someone to take it out on

Apparently the youngest, weakest trainee became that target

“That was around the time they were choosing the debut lineup and I was almost guaranteed to debut I was halfway preparing for debut so I thought I’d just keep doing my job and ignore it but...”

While that resentment piled up the incident happened on an ordinary day

After school when Ri-hyeok went to the practice room he saw a strange scene

One kid was lying face-down in a push-up position in a corner

He looked so exhausted his limbs were trembling

There was sweat pooling on the floor beneath him

But the absurd part was that beside him the staff and other trainees were snacking on chips and laughing

“It was too ridiculous. So I asked Why is he being punished And the answer was priceless”

“What did they say?”

“They said It’s just because”

Hearing that made his blood boil so he...

“He fought back”

“I got into a big fight”

He said he didn’t know why exactly but he just couldn’t hold back

That very day his contract was terminated

“That was it Honestly it was so long ago and if they hadn’t told me I probably wouldn’t have remembered”

“But he must have remembered you fondly”

“Now? Back then everyone would have testified against me but he kept his mouth shut”

“Come on a middle schooler can’t be expected to do that”

“I was in second year of middle school too you know”

I narrowed my eyes at Ri-hyeok and asked

“What happened to the other trainees?”

“I heard that staff guy was let go soon after but the rest all debuted. Playlist were the ones snacking on those chips”

Playlist

I bookmarked that name in my mind and Ri-hyeok shook his head

“Anyway my theory is it’s useless to show kindness to others. In the end I’m the only one who loses out”

His calm tone looked tinged with loneliness

Recollecting what I heard last Sunday Ri-hyeok tapped the studio floor with his foot

“So I don’t really know. I’ve never relied on anyone nor been relied on so I don’t know what that feels like.”

Given his history I’d never seen Ri-hyeok confide in or depend on anyone

“How about Ji-ho?”

“...Are you serious?”

“Don’t look at me with that disdainful expression You’re hurting my feelings”

“I’m asking honestly Does Ji-ho seem like he depends on me?”

It took him less than a second to answer

“No”

“See That sly fox Ji-ho depending on me? Ridiculous”

“Ji-ho a sly fox? He really has no awareness does he”

“I’ve known him nearly three years. He pretends to be a fool but he’s always scheming something”

“I’m not sure about that”

One thing was clear

Ji-ho didn’t depend on Ri-hyeok

He probably just thought Ri-hyeok was a fun hyung to hang out with

Our personalities are such that only in hardship or danger do we lean on each other; otherwise we’re quite independent

“Hmm...”

This was troublesome

“Ri-hyeok”

“What?”

“If you’d known this would happen you should have told me earlier You come here three days before with the song done and spring this on me”

“Don’t blame me I thought I could do it too”

He protested, ears reddening, and I shot him a glare before pondering

What to do

Should we switch songs now under the guise of promoting the album tracks?

No no that would require rearranging

All four songs on the single album are sung by all five of us so I’d have to redistribute parts and handle Jung-hyun’s rap too

I considered using Something again but that felt negative. People might be tired of hearing it and above all DJ Jang So-won would notice how sloppily we prepared it

Knowing his professionalism he’d scold us after the schedule ended

I didn’t want to disappoint those who like us

After weighing options I concluded we had to push ahead with Night Sea

Seeing my silent, troubled expression Ri-hyeok said

“Sorry it’s because of me”

“No You can’t blame yourself”

He’d never had such experiences growing up so I couldn’t fault him for that environment

“Maybe watching a film with a similar theme will help”

“I can’t watch films they hurt my eyes”

“You read a lot of books So maybe a novel...”

“I mostly read non-fiction. For literature only essays like Walden I don’t like overly emotional stuff”

...

I took a deep breath and offered a gentle smile

“You don’t dislike me?”

“No It’s more like I....”

“You...?”

“I, I have a good impression of you”

It sounded awkward but I let it pass

Gazing at the moody eighteen-year-old I eventually found a plan

“Then let’s forget warmth and all that and replace it with the closest matching emotion. When I wrote Night Sea I felt gratitude too So let’s center on that”

“Gratitude?”

“Yes You must have someone you’re grateful to”

“Hmm...”

He wouldn’t have none, surely

His chair creaked as it turned and his pristine sneakers tapped the floor reflecting his train of thought

Who was he thinking of?

Curiosity stirred

On his pale, expressionless face emotions flickered one after another

For a moment I thought I saw a faint smile

Ri-hyeok answered readily

“There is someone I’m grateful to”

“Who?”

“Do I have to say? Isn’t that private?”

“Fine I won’t ask since you’re stingy”

I chuckled and glanced at the score for Night Sea on my laptop

“Then let’s base it on that and practice”

“Great”

I smiled back at him as he finally smiled for the first time in a while

At last the big day arrived

July 6

With a sweltering summer night hitting a high of 33 degrees our juniors saw us off as we climbed into the car in front of the dorm

“Do your best”

Biju clasped both my and Ri-hyeok’s hands in hers and spoke softly with warm energy

“Don’t fight”

“When did we ever fight”

“I heard from the video team that 70 percent of your practice footage was you two fighting”

...

Biju handed over a Lock&Lock of snacks

Since radio involves a lot of talking she thoughtfully prepared it so we could hydrate on the way to the station

“Good luck, hyung”

Jung-hyun offered his fist for a bump

It looked like it would hurt so I grabbed it like a pouch and shook it playfully

Jung-hyun grinned

As the atmosphere warmed Ji-ho, fanning himself as if it were too hot, piped up

“Can we go in now? It’s so hot”

“Hey”

“Have a good show~”

Under our fierce glares Ji-ho hid behind Jung-hyun and peeked over on tiptoes like a country dog on a stone wall

“I heard it’s a visible radio today so I’ll flood the chat later Expect my comments under the nickname ‘Ri-hyeokIsPiraruku’”

“Hope you die”

“And I’ve sent you guys a gift so look forward to it”

A gift?

I wanted to ask more but Mingi hyung urged us to leave so we got into the Carnival

Waving to our juniors through the tinted windows I thought if someone saw us they’d think we were heading into battle

Actually we were competing against Street Boys so it wasn’t entirely wrong

Let’s do well

Wiping the cold sweat on my palm I nodded

Mokdong HBS building

In the lobby with its open-top ceiling and walls of glass I was busy sending messages

Me [Grandma I’m on the radio at nine you know]

The “1” disappeared immediately but her reply came five minutes later

Grandma [I’m tuned in]

Grandma [Isn’t that the girl singing with you?]

Me [Yes She’s a great senior]

As I typed Ri-hyeok tilted his head

“Who are you texting?”

“My grandma”

“Pass on my regards too”

“Just a sec”

I typed

Me [Ri-hyeok said to say hi]

Grandma [Who?]

Me [Ri-hyeok]

Me [That younger brother who sings well and has those slightly slanted eyes]

My phone was snatched for an instant and typos ran rampant

Me [You know the talented junior]

Ri-hyeok finally nodded

Curious about what came next I read Grandma’s reply to him

“She says thanks and tell the hyung in front to treat you well”

“That’s made up right?”

“Obviously Would my grandma say that She’d tell you not to cause trouble and to be nice”

“Tell her she’s doing a good job raising her grandson”

I laughed softly and shook my head

Then I put away my phone after sending one last message reminding her to listen when we sing

Good thing I didn’t mention Street Boys

So much happened since the debut showcase but Grandma only heard the good parts

Judging by her reaction I was glad I kept it that way

If I’d told her she’d still be freaking out now asking if it was okay for me to go out with those damn guys

“Let’s go guys”

Following Mingi hyung carrying a box of coffee from the café, we left

It was iced Americanos and slices of cake for the staff

While waiting for the elevator

I asked Ri-hyeok who was busily tapping his phone

“Who is it?”

“Wang Ji-ho. He said he sent a gift earlier and he’s asking what it is but I won’t tell him”

“We’ll find out later anyway”

I’d heard Seok-hwan hyung seemed to know so it was no problem

I figured we’d know once we got up there

Honestly Ri-hyeok didn’t seem that curious

I thought he was just looking for a distraction for his frayed nerves like someone texting a friend before an awkward situation

I smiled understandingly

Ding—

But when the elevator doors opened my smile vanished

They say enemies meet on a narrow bridge

The moment I saw Street Boys and their managers step in I sensed things were about to get very awkward