In This Life, The Greatest Star In The Universe

My voice trembled as I spoke.

“Is that Eun-seong? Is that you, Eun-seong?”

“...No it’s not? It’s not Eun-seong.”

“The voice filter still isn’t on.”

“Really, hyung? The writers said the filter would definitely be on.”

People laughed at how easily they’d fallen for my trick. The MC asked, seeing my anxious expression,

“What’s your relationship?”

“He was my junior in the military.”

I briefly explained that he’d been my administrative clerk junior.

“...What? So the filter was on? Ah. I fell for it again. Again!”

Perhaps because of the modulation, his tone sounded even chattier. His cheerful voice almost made me laugh myself.

“Long time no see. How have you been?”

“No. Don’t pretend to be close and try to sway me.”

“What are you trying to sway, exactly?”

“I know your tricks for softening people up until they can’t speak. Sergeant. I’ve been through it before.”

The modulated voice said,

“But can you keep talking like this when the person themselves is on the line? I can’t speak comfortably!”

Just hearing that tone made both Hwi-yeon from Teen Spirit and Woo-san from Wild cover their mouths and laugh. The MC said,

“Relax. We’ll block us from interrupting, so speak freely. Complete anonymity guaranteed.”

“The anonymity isn’t real.”

“Uh, well...”

“Ah, never mind. The mood’s ruined.”

Even the MCs and staff started laughing at the unruly guest. They spoke over the line,

“In any case, let me introduce myself. I’m Ha Eun-seong, Sergeant Sun Woo-jo’s administrative clerk junior. Round of applause!”

“Waaah!”

“Why are we applauding for him?”

I felt like I was going crazy because of him.

“Why are you here today?”

“I’m here to expose Sergeant Sun Woo-jo’s misdeeds!”

“Misdeeds?”

“Yes. I’ve suffered so much. Those cruel acts I’ve bottled up in my heart...”

While I stared off into space, the MCs asked in eager voices,

“What on earth happened?”

“Really. If I started, it would never end. It would never end!”

I jumped in.

“Eun-seong.”

“Yes?”

“After you hang up for a moment, you see that red button over there?”

“Yes, I see it.”

“Would you press it for me?”

“Just a second.”

With a click, the call ended.

One second of silence, then everyone collapsed over the table in laughter. It felt like we laughed for five minutes before the call reconnected.

“See? I got tricked again! Again! Again!”

Though he was angry, his feeble-sounding voice made me laugh again. I nodded at someone’s comment, “Now I know why you used to tease me so much.”

“I really suffered all sorts of things because of that person! Before I enlisted, I was reasonably happy, but thanks to him everything got messed up... ugh!”

As he chattered in grievance, the MC asked,

“What was hardest?”

“He was the strangest person in the world, and I was the only one who knew it. When I joined as a rookie, he was the administrative clerk so we took photos and such. The photo on my discharge papers.”

“And then?”

“From then on he was odd. He said he’d teach me the perfect angle, made me hold poses all the time.”

I interjected,

“So your discharge photo came out really well?”

“Well, yes, but that’s not the point! Ah, please make him quiet. I’m scared of him.”

Han Jo, sitting next to me, burst into real laughter.

“Anyway, I was transferred to be an administrative clerk soon after. Other seniors said my service would be easy. Senior Sun Woo-jo’s reputation was huge—handsome and good personality.”

“Wasn’t that true?”

“He was crazy...!”

At that blunt revelation, the MCs gave seal-clap applause and happy screams. I awkwardly scratched my sideburn.

“When I grabbed my gear and went into the barracks, you know the hallway? He was up there alone, thump! thump! running with his arms stretched out. Like a jiangshi hopping, then he snapped his head and stared at me... It was terrifying!”

I bowed my head in silence, and the set erupted in laughter of all ages.

“Then he said, ‘Who are you?’ I stammered an answer, and he said, ‘I’m Grandma Hong,’ and kept hopping. Shocked, I blurted, ‘Aren’t you a jiangshi?’ From that moment I think everything went awry.”

“Why is that?”

“He said he liked my voice because it was entertaining.”

I explained,

“At that time I was under {N•o•v•e•l•i•g•h•t} a lot of stress. There was nowhere to vent, so...”

“He used that same excuse back then too. He said he was stressed studying for the CSAT and composition together. And then he tormented me!”

Despite jumping in, the testimony poured on.

“He’d buy me treats, then scan me from head to toe. Then he said, ‘Your voice is nice,’ and praised me.”

“Was that a bad omen?”

“Yes. From then on it was his dream to become a producer. Without asking me, he’d say, ‘I’ll make you a singer.’”

“Puhaha!”

We thought there was no more laughter to squeeze out, but my military junior made it possible.

“From that day it was hell. I had duties, then I’d get extra vocal training. I didn’t want to be a singer!”

“Did you improve at least?”

“Yes...”

His gloomy voice answered.

“But he taught incredibly well. His intuition was uncanny. If I slacked off he’d glare with those round eyes. Thanks to him I hit the right pitch in a month.”

I nodded.

“He was a friend with such a good voice and talent that I couldn’t just stand by.”

“Really?”

Everyone chuckled at how bright his tone had become. He cleared his throat and said,

“Anyway, that’s not the point. Military life was too hard. Vocal training alone was a lot, but at meals he’d insist on dragging me around discussing composition all day. This song, that song. As a senior I couldn’t do anything.”

I jumped in,

“Thanks to that you learned MIDI, right?”

“Yes. That’s how I got into composing... No! That’s not the point.”

He lamented,

“I really was miserable. I couldn’t tell anyone these stories.”

“Why not?”

“Because he’s a true god of politics. He’s great at playing the game. They say he came from trainee life, but I’m sure he came from politics.”

The writers smiled at how I’d unintentionally given him a strange nickname. They were already excited about what CG text to add.

“His image was so good. Even the company clerk said, ‘If I had a son like that, I’d wish for nothing more.’ He was praised as handsome and kind. And I went crazy...!”

“Of course you’d end up the odd one out.”

“Yes. Once I tried, ‘Sergeant Sun Woo-jo might be a bit unusual,’ but nobody—nobody agreed. The more that happened, the crazier I went. He’s sincere and warm to everyone else, only tough on me. Once we spent a week discussing his grandmother’s birthday present. I’d choke on kimchi at every meal!”

He suddenly turned very downcast.

“But singing was fun and I improved so much. I didn’t even know the basics, and in the military I got a reward leave for singing!”

“Puhaha!”

“Hmm? Actually, come to think of it, maybe it wasn’t so bad...?”

“Right?”

When I chimed in, he snapped back,

“Absolutely not!”

“......”

“Honestly, the reason I contacted the show was because his image is so good. I thought people needed to know his true self.”

“Eun-seong.”

“Yes.”

I apologized to his dour voice.

“I’m sorry.”

“No. It’s okay. I actually got the most help from him...”

Suddenly his tone changed.

“He’s still a good person!”

Just like the elementary school friend, after dishing out insults he threw in “He’s a good guy!” and everyone laughed.

As the story wound down, the MC asked,

“Did you two meet for the first time after discharge?”

“No. We kept in touch! We were closest, so we said we’d meet often after discharge.”

I nodded.

“Unfortunately, we couldn’t find the time.”

“Yes. My leave coincided with his exam, but then he became a hero, they said. Then he became a trainee, and two months later he sent me a chart screenshot yelling, ‘Hyung, your song’s a hit!’”

“Wait, wait. How did that all happen?”

Someone asked in bewilderment. I quickly summarized the pre-debut events and the MCs looked flustered.

“Before debut there were already so many episodes?”

“Hey, I remember because it was my daughter’s exam too! So the hero was Woo-jo? My goodness...”

The caller on the line agreed.

“Everyone was so shocked. At discharge they saw him on TV saying, ‘Thank you, Soufflé.’ Those who joined after were even more surprised.”

It was understandable. I’d be amazed if Mingi hyung left the company to debut under a new name.

After the military stories ended, the MC asked about his current life.

“What are you up to these days?”

“Me?”

He said,

“I’m about to debut as a singer.”

“......?”

Everyone blinked at the unexpected twist. So did I.

What?

The question slipped out,

“What do you mean? A singer?”

“My hyung kept telling me to try singing, so I did an audition for fun and passed the first round!”

He said proudly,

“They asked if I’d been singing for two years. The trainer praised me as a fully formed vocalist. In the team, I’m the main vocalist.”

Except for the crew who knew ahead, everyone stared in astonishment then burst into laughter. I, too, wondered how this could happen—my junior from the military suddenly debuting as a singer...

A thrilled MC asked,

“Which company, which team?”

“I can’t say. It’s a secret.”

One MC said to me,

“Woo-jo, you look stunned. How do you feel? Your military junior might become your idol junior.”

“How come you didn’t tell me this?”

“Yes. We keep in touch, but he never shares his own news.”

The MC asked,

“Why not?”

“Ugh. I knew exactly why! If I said I was preparing to debut, I’d get a text barrage of nagging: mindset must be right, stay humble, here’s a helpful vocal link.”

Then in a voice brimming with emotion he said,

“Every time I see NewBlack on TV, I can really relate! Really!”

“No, our guys liked it.”

“Really? You think so?”

The main MC grinned a toothy smile, calling him a legendary character.

“After you debut, you must come on New Rabbit too. Then Woo-jo can just watch.”

“Yes. I’ll give it my all.”

“He really coming?”

“I recorded this.”

Warm laughter filled the air. After congratulating my junior’s sudden debut announcement, the call ended.

A moment of silence followed. The caller had been so chatty, but now the quiet felt almost deafening.

“It’s so quiet all of a sudden.”

Someone laughed and all attention returned to me.

“Woo-jo, what kind of life have you lived?”

“This is like a minefield. Every step, something else pops up.”

“It’s amazing. A case where dark history and heartwarming stories coexist.”

Everyone nodded in agreement. I just smiled serenely. As the broadcast moved toward its end, I saw why the guests started thinking “whatever happens, happens.” I felt dizzy.

“This is a new-concept talk show: Retrieve the Memories!”

“Viewers, you’re watching a living treasure where dark history and heartwarming stories coexist.”

At least for good moments, the producers were the happiest people alive. Especially PD Do, looking like he’d just had a cold beer. The MCs were gleefully teasing. Recently, no one had looked at me with such affection besides our CEO. It felt like a God-given talent.

“Look at PD Do’s expression.”

“More joyful than when Lee Kyun-woo talked about live octopus. That one.”

“PD Kim? Happy?”

PD Do nodded and gave a double thumbs-up to me. The camera caught it. And then—

“Yes, and just now PD Kim sent word: this special will get a part two slot for the first time in four months!”

“Waaah!”

Everyone gave seal-clap applause, and I began to clap with a bittersweet look.

“Let’s give Woo-jo a round of applause!”

“Why that for me? Don’t do that...”

“Waaah!”

It felt like a festival, everyone but me.

Approaching midnight. In the NewBlack dorm, the members lounged together, phones in hand. The maknae flopped in the living room and asked,

“Hyungs, when do you think they’ll call?”

“Hm. I think they’re doing the civilians first, so we’re probably near the end...”

Bi-ju peeled an apple while answering. Jung-hyun beside him munched the slices and asked,

“Woo-jo must be doing well, right?”

“.......”

A moment of silence.

“No way.”

“He’s probably going wild by now.”

They all looked at the ceiling then broke into satisfied smiles. Ri-hyuk shook his head and said,

“He couldn’t do badly. That’s his specialty.”

“I bet PD Kim is grinning ear to ear right now. Usually at this point in recording PDs look at Woo-jo like a treasure goblin.”

They remembered the day’s recording and laughed.

“I wonder what’s happening on set now. Wonder if anything new has come up.”

“I dunno. What else could there be...”

Wang Ji-ho, pondering, said,

“But it’s before debut. There must’ve been lots of stuff then. After debut, there’ll be even more episodes.”

“That’s true.”

Bi-ju gazed out the window.

“I just want it over soon. Otherwise Woo-jo will have to go straight from Sangam to the shop...”

They sat in a circle around their phones, stifling yawns. Meanwhile Ji-ho and Ri-hyuk flipped through scripts, Jung-hyun rummaged jelly bags, and Bi-ju stared at his phone, muttering “Come on, call... come on...”

Then the ringtone—

“Ah! It’s here!”

They all snapped awake, gathering around the phone.

“Hello!”

On set, my modulated voice was doubtless echoing. It didn’t matter—they’d recognize their leader anyway.

“Are you okay? Our show doesn’t cover the aftermath.”

“It’s fine! We’ll just go full real-name gossip!”

The NewBlack members excitedly recounted everything Woo-jo had been embarrassed about.

“Hahaha!”

Their stories made me giggle too, but the reaction from the other end was surprisingly subdued.

“Oh, really?”

“So that happened!”

They responded politely, but it felt like “Oh, I see,” with a smile. The four members quickly grew sullen. Bi-ju asked,

“Wasn’t our story funny...?”

“No, that’s not it. Guys.”

Their leader spoke with a laughter-filled voice,

“It’s just that the impact was too strong, one after another.”

Ah! They got plenty of footage. That meant OK, so they smiled happily. Meanwhile MCs at the other end whispered,

“That’s true. Usually we’d be rolling laughing, but the earlier stuff was too intense.”

“Stay strong! NewBlack! You did your best!”

“Was anything tough? Was anything hard?”

They asked “You must be tired?” but the NewBlack members only tilted their heads.

“Hm? Why do they look at us like we’re to be pitied?”

And the more they reacted that way, the more I genuinely wondered what on earth had happened on set.

“Thanks for your hard work!”

We all said thanks and said our goodbyes. After exchanging numbers with the leaders of TNT, Teen Spirit, and Wild, the guests took group selfies. We each said farewell to the MCs as they gathered their coats.

“Oh, right. Give me your phones. I’ll put in my number.”

In no time, the four New Rabbit MCs were in their contacts. Yoo Chang-hyun, who we already knew, patted my shoulder saying I’d done well.

“Thanks for your hard work!”

“Woo-jo, you did great today!”

I thanked the staff as I walked around. At the writers’ request, I signed little “To so-and-so” autographs on paper they’d prepared and took commemorative selfies. The PD even asked me to appear again.

“Half of what we covered today wasn’t even a fraction of the tips we got. Please come back on our show again.”

“...Yes. I will.”

“Oh, and take this.”

He handed me a gift coupon for five people, redeemable for café cake or coffee.

“Oh, thank you...”

“PD Do Joon-gi told me to give this to you to celebrate your appearance.”

“...I see.”

Tears streamed down my heart. It had truly become impossible to back out now. But I thought, at least I won’t go down alone.

“Why are you staring at me like that...?”

“It’s nothing, Han Jo.”

He shuddered under my ghostly gaze.

“Hope you get number one tomorrow.”

“Yes—and best of luck with your next album, Street Boys!” 𝗳𝚛𝗲𝕖𝕨𝕖𝗯𝚗𝚘𝕧𝕖𝗹.𝗰𝗼𝕞

We talked about hanging out when they come back, then I parted with Han Jo.

Soon I climbed into the waiting car. Mingi hyung handed me a convenience-store bag full of snacks and patted my shoulder.

“You did well, kid.”

“You too for waiting, hyung.”

It was already past 2 AM. On the empty road lit by streetlamps, the car started moving. I looked at the passing night view and asked,

“Should I go straight to the shop?”

“Yeah. It’s pretty late since the recording ran way longer than planned.”

“But compared to the time we did eleven hours arguing for part two, this ended much faster.”

The crew was thrilled at how they’d squeezed two weeks’ worth of footage into so little time.

“Ugh...”

A sip of chocolate drink revived me a bit. After reacting hard all day, my throat was a little sore. Tired though I was, I felt good knowing I’d done something worth airing.

I turned on my dormant smartphone and saw messages. The maknae had said, “I won’t sleep until hyung gets home!” then five minutes later: “Okay, I’m in bed.” I chuckled. There were messages of “Dinner, dinner, dinner!” from TNT too. And texts from elementary friend Lee Jung-hoon and military junior Ha Eun-seong.

Seeing them made me feel oddly warm. It seemed everyone who shared my path remembered me kindly. Realizing I had many good people around me, I felt tension melt away.

“Hyung, I’m going to doze off for a bit.”

“Sure. I’ll wake you later.”

Since it was so late, I decided to reply tomorrow. After texting the younger guys I’d see them soon, I slipped my phone away.

Brrrr—

A new text came in.

[This is the PD of Sanai-ga Ganda. Did you receive the gift?]

“Ahhhhh!”

Sleep was gone in an instant.