In This Life, The Greatest Star In The Universe

After Junghyun’s “cow-herding” vocal style aired on American news...

“.......”

We were left speechless at the remarkable scenes unfolding on English-speaking internet forums. I let out a hollow laugh.

“The national anthem only has four verses, but they can stretch a cow’s moo out to sixteen verses?”

“People’s creativity is truly astonishing.”

A meme. In the U.S., that usually means a funny image with bold text overlay—and Junghyun’s moo and our reactions were being meme’d everywhere.

“There are so many variations.”

As Ri-hyeok said, the kinds were endless. Most popular were the “exam-study” adaptations: a two-panel image, above us laughing among cows on TV, below us staring blankly at Junghyun mooing.

[Spanish test: when you and your study-buddy had fun together the day before]

[When you realize that study-buddy is from Mexico]

Then others—when you run into a foreigner on the street, and so on—each with clever captions that had us roaring. If Koreans excel at wordplay, these foreigners excelled at situational comedy.

“Congrats, Junghyun hyung.”

Ri-hyeok was scrolling through a foreign site filled with our memes.

“They say with that one shot, you—Junghyun hyung—became the number-one most mentioned K-pop idol photo on this site.”

“Oh. Thanks, thanks.”

He was delighted. We stared dumbfounded at the flood of “Cow” memes.

“I didn’t want to get famous like this.”

“Well, they say if you’re known for strong elbows inside, you’re known for them outside too. You were already a goner back in Korea—what can you do?”

“But I wanted to impress foreigners with something cool...”

Viju sighed, and we all sympathized. Ri-hyeok made a wry expression.

“Well, it’s not all bad...”

Our MyTube views were climbing, and new foreign fans were joining, which was good. Just the trigger felt... odd. Like the restaurant owner seeing a sudden crowd ask, “How did you hear about us?” and hearing, “Oh, I heard your cat’s cute.”

“It’s fine.”

I spoke energetically. “Once new fans join, they’ll watch our songs and become actual fans.”

“Right. Then when they tire of unicycles, they’ll listen to a song.”

“And watch the dance.”

“Before you know it—worldwide superstars!”

“Waaaah!”

We recharged our spirits with that hopeful master plan. Embarrassing perhaps, but positive. With “Thousand Dreams” just off the Billboard Hot 100 after sixteen weeks, a chance for new fans to join was welcome. Not just K-pop circles: general foreign MyTubers also posted reaction videos to the cow-herding moo, and it became a quirky global news topic. Our friend Rupert Dean, star of Nostalgia, proudly tagged it on his SNS.

“Yeah, it’s a good thing.”

“Y-yeah, I guess it is.”

Though we tried to shrug it off, the comments betrayed us—netsurfers giggling.

where are our Chinese and Japanese friends..? Why won’t they claim us when this happens?

anyway, we don’t know them lol

empathic embarrassment ㅋㅋㅠㅠ

national prestige (falling)

South Korean flag: ??

if you list idols you’d export for their looks alone, NewBlack’s number one, 100%

ha, it’s not my problem so it’s hilarious lol

Our goal of appearing approachable nationwide on this special album tour had succeeded: netizens teased us like group-chat friends. On KTN’s 24-hour news, they covered our story, so we became the topic of many holiday family dinners.

“.......”

It was indeed a memorable Lunar New Year.

After the holiday, at last came Ri-hyeok’s long-awaited graduation day.

“Okay.”

In the car, the four of us waved at the selfie stick.

“Hello!”

“This is the Ri-hyeok-less Ri-hyeok family!”

We cheered and bounced, and I held my fist like a microphone to the youngest.

“What day is it today?”

“It’s Ri-hyeok hyung’s graduation day!”

“That’s right. Our fourth child is graduating high school today and realizing he’s not a kid anymore.”

My satisfied grin made Viju laugh. As we neared the arts high school campus, Junghyun said,

“We’re on our way to a hidden-camera prank.”

“We told Ri-hyeok we couldn’t make it because our Japan concert is right around the corner...”

Viju proudly held up an envelope.

“He’ll be so surprised later! I bought him perfume and flowers for a gift.”

“And we’re going as Viju’s plus-one gift.” 𝕗𝚛𝚎𝚎𝐰𝗲𝗯𝗻𝚘𝚟𝚎𝗹.𝕔𝐨𝕞

“Huh? Didn’t everyone say they’d get their own gifts?”

“We tried.”

Junghyun, Jiho, and I exchanged warm looks.

“For every gift I gave before, I was told, ‘That’s not my taste! After living two years with me, how do you not know?’”

“Tiring.”

“Better to give it and get complaints than not give it and regret it.”

We’d only brought flowers and a card, and Viju nodded.

“He’ll love it.”

He had to. We’d texted him yesterday, “Congrats on graduating,” because we thought we might miss it. He answered “Okay” but sounded a bit hurt. He faked sleeping this morning too.

“He’ll be so miffed. I saw this morning he pressed down all our toothpaste tubes in the bathroom.”

We laughed at the shy revenge. Meanwhile, the crowd jammed the arts high school’s outdoor lot.

“Whoa, what’s going on here?”

“It’s like a festival.”

As Won-seok turned the wheel awkwardly, over a hundred people appeared, holding placards reading [NewBlack].

“Oh—they’re all here to see us.”

We weren’t the only ones. Signs like “High Color” and “La Vie en Rose” suggested many graduates were idols too. I asked Jiho,

“Are there always this many idols here?”

“Yeah, tons. It’s basically an idol military academy.”

“Oh.”

True to form, entertainment reporters with big cameras were filming, and a broadcast ENG van was parked.

“Why is there a photo wall at a school graduation?”

“I visited for a friend’s graduation last year—it’s always like this.”

There was even a red carpet. While the maknae accepted it as normal, we were culture-shocked.

When we got our gifts and stepped out,

“NewBlack!”

“Damn, hey! It’s NewBlack! Film them!”

“Waaaah!”

Camera crews descended like an elephant herd, and over a hundred people poured forward, leaving us wide-eyed. School security and Won-seok and Mingi looked stunned too.

“Waaaah!”

It was nothing like I’d imagined for Ri-hyeok’s graduation.

In the auditorium, seniors chatted before the ceremony.

“Wow...”

In the front row sat those receiving awards—among them, NewBlack’s main vocalist in the exact center, drawing all eyes.

“...Amazing.”

He looked like a model student from a drama: flawless skin, graceful hands, sitting perfectly upright, hair neat, lost in thought. Though he wore the same navy jacket and red-striped tie as everyone else, he seemed from another world.

“Wow...”

Each time he pushed his hair back and his sharp nose caught the light, people gasped. Even among boy- and girl-group members in that row, he was the standout.

“But he’s so quiet.”

On TV he’s loud with the others, but in real life he’s very reserved. In variety shows he’s often the butt of jokes, but off-camera he had an aura that made it hard to approach.

“Oh my, who’s that? He’s so handsome.”

“That’s the button guy from NewBlack.”

“Really? I almost didn’t recognize him—so handsome.”

Parents and families in the balcony exchanged whispers. When Ri-hyeok, lost in thought, suddenly smiled, the murmur grew louder. But he wasn’t daydreaming—he was happy he’d applied foundation thickly. Covered his ears and hair well. Secretly pleased, he glanced at the other idols present.

“Hmph...”

They were all waving back at members in the balcony. That made him even more indignant.

“They came to Ziho’s middle-school graduation, no problem.”

He understood their Japan rehearsals were vital, but they’d practiced choreography in every spare moment from year’s end through this mini-theater tour. If they could skip an hour... he thought.

Then: a roar from the back. The auditorium fell silent.

“......”

Everyone blinked and nodded.

“That must be NewBlack.”

“Looks like they’re here.”

“They are NewBlack.”

Unless TNT or Teen Spirit had appeared, it was logical given our group’s fame. All eyes turned to Ri-hyeok.

“Huh...”

He smirked at the thought of his bumbling brothers. He cleared his throat and sat up straighter.

Pushing through the crowd into the auditorium was like a war.

“Phew...”

Though we hadn’t practiced dance for this, sweat formed at our sideburns. After interviews at the photo wall—“We came to celebrate our fourth!”—we were jostled, insulted, nearly blinded by camera lights.

“Ziho.”

We said seriously,

“You graduate solo.”

“Huh?”

“I half-mean it.”

Who knew what next year would bring—but if we got even more famous...

“You have no idea how anxious I was when bumping into people.”

“I was scared too, hyung—what if someone goes to hospital with a four-week recovery?”

“Fair enough.”

We waved and smiled at astonished parents in the crowd. One mother, frowning at the chaos, turned to ❖ Nоvеl𝚒ght ❖ (Exclusive on Nоvеl𝚒ght) us.

“Oh, you’re here?”

“Yes, just arrived—traffic was bad.”

We realized we’d greeted someone we didn’t actually know.

“I thought you were someone I knew.”

“We did too...”

Her embarrassed laugh made us laugh back. Meanwhile, we also waved at other idols greeting their own members on the balcony.

“Oh, hyungs! Hi!”

“Hello.”

We bobbed a belly-button greeting to High Color’s members who debuted last year and won rookie awards, then scanned for our maknae.

“Seori–hyeo–k!”

Ziho cupped his hands at his mouth; silence fell, then the entire student body erupted in laughter.

“Hi!”

We each held a “Congratulations, graduate!” placard and waved; Ri-hyeok glanced back and clicked his tongue, turning away. The absurdity drew laughter across the auditorium.

The teacher at the front took the mic.

“Students, please quiet down!”

“Can the NewBlack family lower their placards, please?”

It sounded like “please don’t be funny,” and as things quieted, Ri-hyeok ducked his head at us, then pulled out his phone:

Ri-hyeok [ Please ]

Ri-hyeok [ Don’t do weird stuff!!! ]

Ri-hyeok [ Don’t ruin my graduation ]

Our main vocalist was greeting our arrival with fierce passion. The four of us on the balcony made an “OK” sign and winked—prompting more laughter. Why were we so funny?

Meanwhile, everyone’s eyes turned to Ziho waving to the freshmen on the floor.

“Congratulations, Hyung Yeong-hwan.”

“Congrats to the seniors!”

“I have a schedule later.”

Ziho seemed to have made friends with half the student body, greeting classmates with gestures and lip-reading. Even an auntie from the hall laughed and waved back.

“Who’s that?”

“She’s one of the school custodians—besties with the snack bar auntie and me.”

We wondered at his social breadth. They say a person can have up to 100 meaningful relationships; Ziho was redefining boundaries.

At that moment, Ri-hyeok joined a girl from La Vie en Rose on stage and took the mic:

“Hello!”

“I’m Seori-hyeok from Class 3-3, hosting today’s graduation.”

Why did a high school graduation need MCs? While the MCs introduced the event, High Color performed their title track as a celebratory stage. As Jiho, Viju, and I blinked in disbelief, students in doboks began a taekwondo demonstration, followed by a parade of other sights. But the most startling moment was the awards:

“The Distinguished Service Award goes to... Seori-hyeok of Class 3-3.”

He walked to the podium with perfect posture.

“For exemplary conduct...”

But wait—

“For unwavering volunteer spirit...”

Not him—

“For significant contributions to the school’s development...”

That one made sense: the school’s most famous student receiving a certificate. Though I resented that the highest output was Ri-hyeok’s, I clapped with a bright smile as more awards followed:

“The Model Student Award: Seori-hyeok.”

We applauded.

“Model Student Award?”

“Model Student...?”

“He’s neither model nor student.”

We strained to keep straight faces at the parade of honors.

[NewBlack, always family vibes.gif]

(At every award line, NewBlack’s kaleidoscopic expressions.gif)

... see them murmuring at each “exemplary conduct” mention

lol why is his face so cute?

look at his pupils quake at “exemplary conduct”

truly like family lol

“Model student” .gif

...

As the ceremony and homeroom closing ended, Ri-hyeok emerged much later.

“Why so late?”

He climbed into the car clutching bouquets.

“I stayed to talk with my homeroom teacher and other subject teachers and hand out thank-you letters—took a while.”

“They all liked them?”

“Yes—they wished me even more success.”

He set down a heavy eco-bag.

“What’s that?”

“Letters and rolling papers from my friends.”

“Oh...”

“They must’ve been grateful for earlier letters, so they all prepared replies.”

Ri-hyeok smiled at the stack of letters in his arms. Then we handed him our hidden bouquets.

“Tada—!”

“Oh....”

He trailed off—uncharacteristically shy—shaking and clearing his throat, but clearly happy.

“This I give on behalf of the members.”

He took the gifts and letters, his grin radiant, then eyed the bouquets and fidgeted his lips.

“...Thank you.”

“Congrats, Ri-hyeok!”

As we burst into “Congratulations!” song, Ri-hyeok sniffed.

“Huh? Are you crying?”

“Oh, no. I’m not crying.”

With the bouquets pressed to his chest and his eyes misty, we smiled. Worried that teasing him about tears would embarrass him, we changed the subject.

“Let’s celebrate with jajangmyeon!”

“Jajangmyeon~!”

As the managers drove away, while Ri-hyeok lingered in the emotion, we frantically pulled out our phones.

“Who won the bet?”

“We got both ‘thank you’ and tears—Uju hyung wins.”

“And Junghyun couldn’t guess at all, so he buys dinner...”

Ri-hyeok stalked us with his tear-free face.

“Hey, don’t use this to gamble—”

His roar of mock anger made us all plug our ears in solidarity.