In This Life, The Greatest Star In The Universe

That night the late-night music show recording ended successfully.

Perhaps thanks to the joy that the song we created together became the title track, we naturally felt more excited in our performance than usual.

The audience reaction was good too.

After the recording, during the farewell greeting, the PD told us today’s stage was really great and that he’d love to call us back if there’s another chance.

“Good work, my darlings.”

At the final greeting, senior So-won hugged us.

It’s not like we’ll never see each other again, but my eyes felt damp.

Sa-won’s big-sister-looking expression gave way to Jang-Sa-won—no, to Sa-won’s twin sister Jang-Sa-won? Wait. Sorry. I mean, Sa-won was like a big sister watching her younger siblings, and just before we parted she spoke as if she’d remembered something.

“Oh right, I’ll be the DJ for the HBS evening radio show starting now.”

Music Café hadn’t only benefited us.

It also brought a great opportunity to the singer-songwriter who had been eking out a living on drama OSTs after her group disbanded.

For senior So-won it was an opportunity that came at the end of years of patience.

It was the DJ seat on the flagship program with the highest listener ratings at HBS Radio.

They said that besides the success of Something, the radio station judged her fit for the role after seeing how she skillfully took care of New Black, who were beginners at variety shows, and led the talk segments on Music Café.

“When you debut I’ll bug the PD to load your setlist with Fireworks blast after blast. If there’s time I’ll try to get you booked as guests too. Would that be okay?”

“Of course. Even if you don’t call us, we’ll come.”

Sa-won’s face was full of smiles as she waved and walked away.

And so we wrapped up the happy time we’d shared from February to May.

Of course, the person who felt the most regret was our road manager.

Hyung Min-gi waved his hand as if bidding farewell to someone he was deploying overseas.

We all pressed our lips together and tried not to laugh.

A little while later our debut date was confirmed.

June 19th.

Just as I’d heard when signing the trainee contract.

They said investors kept nagging about when we’d debut, so they penciled us in for June 2014.

We had about a month and a half left.

To lose weight we adjusted our diets, took Japanese and English lessons, did PT at the gym, got skin care at the salon, and learned how to handle variety shows—our schedules were tight.

But no one complained about the schedule.

Regardless of how hard it was, we all knew that if we didn’t use this time now, it would be gone forever.

Most trainees just want to debut first.

They think once they’re on TV things will just work out.

We thought that way until we actually started.

Once we hit music shows a day flies by in an instant, and when we have events or other schedules a day still flashes past.

After experiencing that, we realized how foolish it was to think we could practice during promotions.

It’s like how job seekers who say they’ll get their certifications after they start working don’t understand how naive they sound to someone already in the workforce.

That’s why we threw ourselves into practice determined not to waste this time.

And.

I had one more thing to do.

“This is a song OK Ranch made last year. Listen and let me know what you think. We’re thinking these guys would match the Fireworks vibe, so maybe we’ll outsource a B-side to them this time.”

The A&R team’s private office was filled with gear that made my eyes light up.

I sat there with the staff making our debut album.

Soon the play button was pressed and a refreshing melody tickled my ears. Just as Fireworks starts with Jun-hyun’s rap, this song began with a cool rap too. I wondered whose it was—it was Scarlet’s song.

Was this on their second album?

When the track that began with rapper Day’s voice ended, I let my lips part.

“That’s a Scarlet track from their second album. Was it Summer Nights?”

“Oh, you know it?”

“I’ve been studying trends so I listen to most idol songs. Hmm... definitely this fits the Fireworks color. It’s got that cool summer vibe, I like it.”

“Right?”

To the delighted staff I added:

“But if we’re going to commission it, I’d be a bit cautious. I’d want something different from Summer Nights. This matches Fireworks too perfectly. It might get overshadowed by the title track. I’d like a song with a somewhat different vibe.”

Recalling something I said:

“On Teen Spirit’s third album there’s a track called A Midsummer Night’s Dream. It’s future-house with a dreamy feel, and OK Ranch composed that too. I think another summer-night-themed track in that style would be good.”

“Was there a song called A Midsummer Night’s Dream?”

Most of the staff except a couple didn’t know. Those who found it on the streaming site listened for a moment and nodded.

“This is nice too. Well, we were thinking Summer Nights was too similar in color so we did want something different.”

“You really know a lot of songs. Did you study these too?”

“I actually wanted to go into A&R. That’s why I prepared for the CSAT aiming for music college.”

The staff burst out laughing at that.

It felt like the laugh I let out when a kid I met at a bus stop during leave told me he wanted to be a soldier too when he saw me in uniform.

One of the staff wiped tears from her eyes and asked:

“What’s it like doing it yourself?”

“Every day feels new. I do enjoy working in music, but I also realize it’s not easy living off other people’s money.”

The staff, with sympathetic expressions, laughed again.

I couldn’t tell if they were laughing or crying.

One thing was clear: if I ever decided on a dream again, it wouldn’t be A&R.

Promotion teams, management, A&R—even in this entertainment business they grind people to dust.

I already knew from the managers and promotion staff how tough promotion and management are.

So I imagined A&R would be a relatively relaxed utopia, but it turned out to be hell too.

The workload alone is unbelievable.

With no clear boundaries between selecting songs, planning, composing, and album design, whenever you ask “Do we do this too?” the answer is “Of course” and more work piles up.

Above all, if the album flops the first thing other departments do is point fingers saying “They messed it up!” so the stress is intense.

The staff I saw were more like office workers under performance pressure than free-spirited musicians.

“Sorry. The schedule’s tight already, and now the album concept changed so suddenly you’ve got more work.”

“Exactly. You should have brought a decent song.”

“Right. You said make a B-side and you show up with a title track?”

I offered late-night snacks to the teasing staff to appease them.

It was a hit.

Gathered around the snacks in the fourth-floor lounge, one staff member broke a chopstick and asked:

“So you’re off tomorrow. Got any plans together?”

“No. We decided to each do our own thing. We thought about doing something as a group but Ri-hyuk said we see each other every day so why spend a day off together.”

Everyone laughed saying that was so Ri-hyuk.

Tomorrow was Buddha’s Birthday.

It was the first official holiday for New Black: a perfect day off with no lessons and no work.

Just thinking about it made my heart flutter.

Once I get back to the dorm I’ll just wash my hair and go straight to bed. Watching a movie until I fall asleep would make the best day ever.

As I thought that:

“Woo-joo, didn’t you say the guys were in the dorm?”

“Yes.”

“I think I just saw Biju.”

“What? That can’t be...”

I was saying that when I saw Biju walking in the corridor outside the lounge’s window.

Biju looked down at the floor with a serious expression.

He didn’t seem to notice us watching through the lounge window. Then with a grave look he knocked on the office door.

“Is this not the director’s office?”

The staff whispered among themselves, then asked me:

“Something must be up. Woo-joo, what’s going on?”

“No idea.”

Even if I knew I’d have dodged the question, but in this case I really didn’t know.

What’s wrong with Biju?

The first time he acted strangely was about a month ago. I started to find out what was going on but then stopped.

He returned to normal so I thought whatever it was must have been resolved.

But seeing him now, that wasn’t the case.

It suddenly occurred to me.

He probably only snapped back to normal the day after Jung-hyun pressed him asking “What’s wrong with you?”

If you think that way it all fits perfectly.

If after hearing Jung-hyun’s questions he pretended nothing was wrong.

Had I been too oblivious?

As leader I should have been checking every day how the younger members were doing and what they were thinking.

I’d been so absorbed in composing that I’d only heard from others that the members were worried about Biju.

In truth, more important than our practice or composing is our members themselves.

I glanced at the office door beyond the window.

The door was closed and the office was enclosed in glass so there was no way to know what was being discussed in there.

My mind kept drifting to bad thoughts.

I waited for Biju to come out, looking for the right time to talk, but Biju didn’t emerge before I left the lounge that day.

“What are you thinking so hard about?”

“About Biju.”

“You’re so mean. How can you think about someone else when your cute maknae is right here?”

“Don’t say such gross things.”

I pushed away the maknae’s smiling face with my palm. Passersby laughed as they watched us banter.

We were in the Sinchon shopping complex.

It must have been during the Music Café live broadcast.

I had brought the maknae here because I’d promised to help pick out clothes for the maknae after teasing the fashion-terrorist eldest hyung.

“I’m too lazy to go shopping when my sisters buy clothes. But it’s for your hyung’s clothes—why would you pout like that? Your expression is just like Jung-hyun’s. He looks like a spiteful Nolbu.”

“Jung-hyun goes too far. Let’s go with Jun-hyun’s level.”

“Jun-hyun doesn’t make that face.”

While following with arms full of bags, Ji-ho chatter about things he’d held back.

“He said I must be a brown warm tone, but you pouted. I picked out clothes carefully and you choose track pants. I wondered where you disappeared to and you were in the women’s section buying grandma clothes. And who wears jeans with hiking boots?”

That last part was the kicker.

It was a holiday so my usual sneakers were in the wash, leaving hiking boots as my only shoes.

Jung-hyun’s foot size is too big, Biju’s and Ri-hyuk’s are small.

With no proper shoes I wore a white tee, jeans, and hiking boots, but every step I took the boots slipped and I had to look down.

While searching for a shoe store Ji-ho asked:

“So why did Biju’s name come up?”

“He’s been acting weird lately.”

“Really? I haven’t noticed. He seems the same as ✪ Nоvеlіgһt ✪ (Official version) always.”

Last night Biju arrived at the dorm late.

When I asked what was up he just smiled and said it was nothing. He had a meeting with the director, he said.

It was awkward to ask more with that smile.

“Ah, right. Something was suspicious.”

“What?”

“He said he and Jung-hyun were going to play basketball together today.”

“Right.”

“But Jung-hyun always wears black tops when he goes to exercise with others. He says it makes him look powerful like a roasted sweet potato.”

“And?”

“Today he went out wearing blue. Weird isn’t it? Patterns don’t just change. That means they weren’t going to play sports together, but to do something else.”

Just as I thought how sharp the maknae was, he looked at me seriously and asked:

“Could they be going somewhere to eat something delicious without us?”

“Sherlock Holmes, you are.”

“Don’t sound like Ri-hyuk hyung. That hurts people’s feelings.”

But Ji-ho’s point had merit.

Come to think of it Jung-hyun definitely looked like he knew something.

When I asked him earlier he’d been flustered and evasive.

I thought maybe something serious was going on but all my guesses made no sense.

After pondering I reached a conclusion.

Today we’ll get to the bottom of it.

With about a month left until debut.

Whatever it is I want to know before we go.

So far I’d let it slide in the name of privacy, but if there’s an incident that could interfere with group activities I need to know.

Resolving that made me feel a bit more at ease.

“Well, since we’re out let’s enjoy shopping ourselves.”

I smiled and playfully draped my arm around the maknae’s neck.

Right.

For now let’s not miss the small joys around us.

We finished shopping and stepped onto the street.

Perhaps because of the warm May weather.

It felt like spring we’d missed was pouring out from everywhere.

Couples walking hand in hand, young kids giving off a spring scent.

We walked cheerfully looking for somewhere to eat.

“You bought the clothes so I’ll pay for the meal. Tell me whatever you want. I can spring for something expensive.”

“I’m not into expensive things.”

“Then where shall we go. How about that chicken place over there?”

“Hyung.”

Ji-ho looked serious.

“I used to eat chicken every time my dad’s company tested new products. Just the smell of grease makes me want to puke. My older sister broke up with her boyfriend because he loved chicken so much.”

Then chicken was off the table.

“Wait a sec. I’ll ask the others.”

Ji-ho opened his phone messenger.

For a moment he was overwhelmed by the hundreds of friends, but as soon as he typed into the group chat replies poured in at once.

It was heartwarming.

Like watching a popular kid in kindergarten.

“Nearby there are ramen and gyukatsu spots that are famous. There’s a gourmet burger joint and a sushi place. There’s a famous meat rice bowl place too. And... what the? Why is Gil Chaek-kyung recommending the blowfish restaurant?”

“Blowfish restaurant?”

“That’s definitely a place where someone will die. She’s the type who’ll try to poison me at the first chance.”

“How strange. They talk friendly up front.”

“Then behind our backs they insult each other.”

Recalling that rivalry, the maknae shook his head.

He must really hate her.

I tapped my shoulder to get Ji-ho’s attention as he buried his head in his phone.

“Ji-ho, you’ll trip if you walk looking at your phone.”

“Okay.”

He answered without lifting his head from the phone.

“Put your phone away.”

“I’m replying to Ri-hyuk hyung.”

“Oh, really? What is he up to?”

“He’s watching a new-tech robot vacuum. Why is he sending me videos?”

Our main vocalist was spending his time at the coex International Cleaning Equipment Expo.

I don’t understand why such events exist or why he went.

But seeing him leave humming the Fireworks chorus made me think he was having a great time.

As Ji-ho spoke while looking at his phone:

“By the way Ri-hyuk hyung says dinner tonight... uh!”

Ji-ho began to pitch forward as if his sneaker got caught between the paving stones.

At that moment my body reacted.

All my nerve cells seemed to wake up.

Everything felt like slow motion. And my body reflexively performed the needed movement.

I reached out and grabbed Ji-ho by the collar.

A second before he would have face-planted into the ground, aside from his shirt collar digging into his neck, the maknae was perfectly fine.

“Hey! Are you okay?”

“I’m— I’m fine.”

“Are you really fine? Why can’t you lift your head?”

“It’s embarrassing. Aren’t people staring?”

“They’re not looking.”

In truth everyone was staring as they walked by.

After a while Ji-ho looked around and then showed a relieved expression.

“Thanks, hyung.”

“Be more careful. If it wasn’t me you’d be debuting with dentures.”

We stood there for a long time making sure he was okay, and there seemed to be no serious issues.

Just as we resumed walking:

“Huh?”

At that sound I turned to see Ji-ho walking—but his gait looked strange.

As if... he was limping.

A foreboding feeling ran down my spine when Ji-ho called out with a dazed face.

“Hyung.”

At that moment I sensed another troublesome matter had arisen.

“I think I’ve sprained my ankle.”