In This Life, The Greatest Star In The Universe

When the TV division’s New Actor award ended and the ceremony moved straight to the film division’s New Actor award—

"Mmm."

Why do I feel so unsettled.

It was that nagging dread you get at an outside event when you suddenly think, “Did I turn off the gas?”

"Why am I like this. It’s exactly like I forgot to shut the gas..."

"That’s why we switched to induction."

"Mmm."

I’d missed something important—but what?

While the film division’s winner gave his speech, my thoughts chased their own tails.

And then—

"Ah."

It finally hit me.

A certain Yubaba somewhere, pounding the floor with her wrinkled eyes narrowed.

"We’re screwed."

"Huh?"

"Utterly screwed."

Just then a camera swung my way and I threw both hands up to cover my mouth.

At the same time.

On TV, as the film New Actor winner delivered a moving speech and actors’ eyes turned misty—

Oh.

The camera caught Wooju in his seat.

Hands over his mouth while the rookie spoke about hardships—eyes a little glassy.

"Wow! Other people need to see this!"

Souffles stirred, and posts popped up on idol communities at once.

[Live: Wooju’s reaction during actor Lee Dohwan’s speech]

(a tweet containing a clip of Wooju’s moist-eyed reaction)

Looks like he’s holding back tears

— Woojuyaㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅜ

— He must be remembering his own rookie struggles and getting emotional

— That’ll make anyone cry

— ㅇㅈ NewBlack basically clawed their way up from dirt cucumbers

— That’s a real about-to-cry face..ㅠㅜ

— Why am I the one tearing up

— I repent for thinking crocodile tears or a yawn

— Those are real tears..

While Souffles united to "Help our Wooju conquer Earth!" and sobbed in streams, a few sharp-eyed fans tilted their heads.

"Something’s off..."

It wasn’t the time to say it with everyone sniffling together, but something felt not quite right.

After Part 1 ended, during the short break.

"It’s not too late."

"For what?"

"To mention Grandma in the acceptance speech."

I felt like I’d aged a decade overnight.

Seeing me mutter, Ri Hyuk smiled.

"You know our odds aren’t that high, right?"

"..."

"We’ve got to take either Best Male Variety or Cultural/Educational Program, and those nominee pools are no joke."

I knew.

Best Male Variety alone had a lineup of entertainers who blew up the variety world all year.

And in Cultural/Educational, we were up against an investigative doc like "Laying Bare a Murder Case."

"No."

When reality gets hard, the trick is to ignore it.

I decided to ignore it.

"We’re taking both. We’ll shout ‘Deok!’ for the variety award and ‘Soon!’ for the cultural one."

"Don’t avert your fate, sir. You’ve boarded the train to hell."

"And Grandma’s the one driving it. Heh heh."

Junhyun piled on.

As I darkened in real time, my minions clapped and laughed among themselves.

In a minute Grandma would hock a mouthful of acid spit—ptoo!—and melt her eldest grandson, and these punks looked ready to throw a dance party.

"Aigoo~"

With a face like toasted sesame, the maknae whispered,

"These days even ghosts speak while alive."

"Hey."

"Bleh-bleh-bleeeh~~"

He reused the line I’d gotten at graduation and munched the organizer’s snack with wicked delight.

Biju laughed and set a hand on my shoulder.

"Don’t worry too much, hyung. Grandma understands in her head."

"Thanks."

"But will she understand in her heart...?"

"..."

Feeling there was truly no one I could trust, I loosened my bow tie and stood up.

I nearly bumped into someone heading for my seat.

"Ah, sorry..."

"S-so sorry!"

I hurried to apologize, but the other person also bent a perfect right angle and fluttered his hands.

Who...?

He straightened, and a handsome face came into view.

"Hello, sunbae. I’m Lee Dohwan."

"Ah. Yes."

It was the actor who’d just won the film division’s New Actor award.

He clearly had business with me, and looked nervous like someone meeting a celebrity.

His eyes flicked sideways.

"Hm?"

The cast of the film "March Is a Blue Spring" pumped their fists from afar.

Like people sending a chick off to a kind cat.

"Your cast is cheering you on."

"Ah. I get shy easily... When I said I wanted to greet you, they hurried me over."

"Ahh."

I traded bows with them from afar, then smiled at the actor in front of me.

"Congratulations on your New Actor award."

"Ah... thank you! And congrats to you too, sunbae. I watched every week when you did it on Our Family Is Alien TV."

He said he loved the character Agent Kim Uju, then hemmed and hawed.

"I heard you were a little moved during my speech... I wanted to thank you for that."

"...Me?"

"When I was speaking. Your face was on the multiscreen..."

"R-right. I cried."

I said it was so moving I teared up, and he kept saying how honored he was.

As the rookie sniffled and headed back, a strange guilt washed over me.

"That’s one more story for the 50th anniversary dinner show."

"It’s amazing how you’ve got more to tell every single year."

Rubbing my neck, I traded a grin with my brothers.

Mm.

Fifty years from now, future me can clear it up. I decided to trust that old man Sun Wooju then.

After greetings with Lee Dohwan and a few others who stopped by, we took our seats again.

The ads for Part 1 ended, and it was time to begin Part 2.

"Yes. We’ve invited some very special guests to celebrate this year’s Korea Arts Awards."

"You can’t talk idols these days without these folks."

As the MCs bantered, a roar rose from the seats behind the industry section.

It felt like 0.3 Souffle.

You can’t compare it to the terror and /N_o_v_e_l_i_g_h_t/ class of our Souffles’ battle cry, but it was a decent shriek from a lesser raptor.

"Kkyaaaaa!"

While actors and entertainers murmured oh my, the three MCs on stage introduced the special performance.

"Truly, Wonder."

The cheers swelled.

"Rookie idols who appeared like a miracle. The Part 2 celebratory stage of the Korea Arts Awards!"

"Please welcome Wonder Child!"

It had been a while since I’d heard that name.

As we clapped and cheered, thick stage smoke rolled across the stage.

Knock, knock.

A narration came in with the knocking.

"[Who is it?]"

Like Wonder Child’s fans, we raised our hands and yelled, "Wonder Child!"

Through the dense smoke, rookie idol Wonder Child appeared and launched into group choreography.

Main vocal Kihu, in a white suit, sang with a soft tone, and the hall erupted.

"They’ve grown."

"Good. Really good."

"A mentor is happy."

Idols who debuted through last year’s audition program lit up the stage as fans screamed.

We grinned and cheered, pleased.

Actors nearby, unsure how to react at first, copied our cheer moves and the hall rippled with laughter.

"Ah. Nice."

Seeing those once-shy trainees now ruling the stage as pro idols felt great.

I smiled at Mo Younghun’s rap part—someone I’d known as a trainee back at TJ.

Great expressions.

No wonder—if you count the hottest idol teams on one hand right now, Wonder Child is in there.

Ask the Magic Conch and you’d get something like:

"Magic Conch, pick five currently hot idol groups!"

"NewBlack, Teen Spirit, Street Boys, Wonder Child... the last one changes case by case, blub-blub."

The fifth is often pegged as Trickster lately, but anyway, Wonder Child was rocketing up fast enough to always make the four fingers.

I’d heard plenty about the current idol landscape.

We’re doing the best, and beneath us it’s a Three Kingdoms.

Three fandoms flipping each other off with gusto.

Roughly like this:

"Isn’t Teen Spirit the foundational act who debuted in ’12 and kicked off third-gen idols? What are these pedigree-less kids yapping about?"

"What are you on about? We’re the miracle golden gen who debuted with NewBlack. Include overseas popularity and Street Boys are the strongest in the human realm."

"Everyone! Forget the washed-ups and try perky-fresh WonCha once~! One taste and you’ll never leave."

...That sort of chaotic mood.

Just thinking about it gives me a headache.

When we were competing with TNT and Teen Spirit, it’s still a little amazing we punched through it at all.

Really, it wasn’t punching through so much as releasing good songs and grinding variety until, at some point, we were up there.

Thanks to that, we could sit on Olympus above the clouds and watch the underwater brawl below.

"Waaaaaaa!"

Maybe that’s why we could relax and enjoy a junior group’s stage like this.

Whatever the reason...

"They’re great. Seriously."

"So good. Seriously."

A good stage is always good.

We applauded and cheered as Wonder Child wrapped, and the former mentees’ eyes softened when they glanced our way.

I bowed back to the leader’s bow and clapped.

"It’s been a while, sunbae."

"It’s been a while."

We smiled and gave a tiny wave.

After Part 2 began.

As the TV division awards rolled on, the chests of variety entertainers thumped faster.

"It’s almost time for the variety awards."

What is the Korea Arts Awards?

It’s the place where, if variety folks get nominated, they brag to everyone in the neighborhood.

The nominees are the ones who deserve to be there—and the winners are the ones who deserve to win.

The only regret, compared to acting which splits into rookie and best actor, etc., is that there’s just a single trophy in variety.

Given the ceremony started as a film awards show, that couldn’t be helped.

After a mid-ceremony stage where bit-part actors sang and actors dabbed their eyes—

"Hello! I’m Model Joo."

"Hello, I’m entertainer Han Wonhee!"

Last year’s Best Male and Best Female Variety winners came out smiling.

They volleyed gags back and forth, then Han Wonhee slid in, deadpan.

"Awards shows are, in many ways, marketplaces of opportunity. So many people we’d love to book."

"You can’t be out here casting on the spot."

"Hello, Mr. Lee Gyeonwoo, Ms. Gwak Sihyun~"

The marquee Hallyu actor waved, Gwak Sihyun winked, and cheers rippled.

"And our NewBlack..."

"Krrrrrrrr!"

"If it’s not too forward, someday, on our program... We genuinely know the most delicious restaurant on earth."

On screen, the five handsome men winked OK, and Souffles hidden around the hall screamed.

Laughter bubbled among the industry seats.

"Then let’s meet the nominees for the TV division Best Male Variety!"

With the title [TV Division: Best Male Variety] across the multiscreen, the nominee clips rolled.

"Sunday Night Live. Park Hoyeon."

First up, Sunday Night Live’s famous writer Park Hoyeon.

Entertainers nodded.

"Hoyeon worked hard this year and last."

He’d also guested across shows and minted a slew of online memes.

Known for razor comic sense.

Second was a handsome actor flailing in tidal flats. When colleagues tried to hoist him up and did, he toppled forward and howled.

"Mister Producer. Chu Giseok."

Entertainers nodded.

"For physical comedy, Giseok is king."

After Park Hoyeon and Chu Giseok, up came Yoo Changhyun.

Famous for being a seasoning character—snarky then instantly smacked down.

"From Now On, We. What an Amazing Variety. Yoo Changhyun."

Chins were stroked.

"Changhyun’s a bit light... but he did grind."

He’d done well, but unlike the first two, this felt like the judges acknowledging the rising ratings of "From Now On, We."

Next, a comedian in a french-fry mascot suit frying at Gwanghwamun.

"If the World Ended Tomorrow. Kim Sangcheol."

One of the recent risers, originally an internet streamer.

Among the four, the strongest candidate.

Of course, any of the nominees so far could win and the room would nod and clap, "Fair enough."

But even as the nominee VCR played, the others couldn’t relax.

"There’s a monster competitor... no, a presumptive winner."

There were people everyone said would basically take it this year.

Great comic sense.

Works harder than anybody.

Physical bits on point.

A complete package in variety—and they appeared in the next clip.

"Mister Producer. Around the World by Dice. NewBlack."

A thunderclap of cheers. On screen, NewBlack’s highlights rolled.

The spaceship’s wicked grin as he composed and deployed ATEN; members wailing while hustling NewBlack.

Technically it was more thanks to NewBlack TV that they were nominated, but since new media like MeTube isn’t part of the criteria, the TV programs where they were long-run special guests became the basis.

"This is NewBlack’s."

Seventh in 2016’s "Entertainer of the Year" selected by the public.

National idols.

All the flashy labels aside, entertainers summed up NewBlack in one simple word.

"Hilarious."

Just sitting there was funny.

Tipping backward off a chair was funny. They were, simply, born with the supreme talent for laughs.

Young in age, infinitely respectable as industry pros.

Above all...

"They made everything hit."

From Mister Producer’s idol-debut special to Jusehan’s NewBlack special—whichever show they were on, it went jackpot.

Not just ability; in outcomes, an overwhelming gap.

And rumors were everywhere that HBS’s observational "From Now On, We," which they’d guested on, was about to explode.

"Waaaaaaa!"

The nominee VCR ended, and the five-way split screen put up each face.

And—

Laughter broke at five pretty boys squeezed into a narrow vertical frame throwing V-signs.

"Can someone please widen NewBlack’s screen!"

At Model Joo’s suggestion, NewBlack’s frame stretched left and left.

The others’ frames pinched, and the entertainers pantomimed squeezing themselves into their tight boxes to big laughs.

"Ah. They’re asking to shrink it back!"

NewBlack flailed, waving Xs, and the screen returned to normal.

"Somebody’s going to think we rehearsed that."

Entertainers chuckled at the adorable quick wit.

Han Wonhee tore open the card.

"As expected, they’re taking it. Congratulations! NewBlack!"

Deafening cheers. The five stood, straightened their bow ties, and bowed.

They shook hands politely with seniors and headed to the stage.

A voiceover rolled.

"Appearing on TBC’s ‘Around the World by Dice’ and PBS’s ‘Mister Producer,’ NewBlack showed viewers a wide range of charms with warm, delightful humor throughout the year, earning praise for opening a new horizon in variety."

Onstage, NewBlack shook hands with the presenters and stepped to the standing mic.

They stood like they hardly deserved it, nudging each other—"You do it." "Minions have no will!"—until

Wooju, blond slicked back with pomade, spoke with a tremor.

"Wow. Thank you so much. First, I dedicate the glory of this award to Ms. Kim Deoksun in Gunsan, who is surely watching this speech."

Actors murmured.

"Kim Deoksun? That name sounds familiar..."

"Founder of NewBlack."

"Ah...!"

Wooju’s voice shook slightly.

"We really didn’t expect to win, so I didn’t prepare a proper speech. If I’d known we’d even win a variety award in front of these legendary seniors, I’d have humbled my hair more... I came like Malfoy."

Huge laughter from the seats.

"Thank you so much for giving us an award like this. With so many truly famous seniors in variety... are we even allowed to take this... is how it feels."

One entertainer shouted "You are!" and a ripple of laughter went through.

In the midst of a meaningful speech, Wooju slipped in a few lines.

"We’re experiencing many fields—music, acting, variety—and lately I feel there’s no easy road in any of them. That’s why I’m especially grateful there’s a ceremony that honors variety like this."

He lifted the Korea Arts Awards while lightly shading in, "it’d be great to have more awards for variety folks."

Entertainers answered with cheers.

"Our juniors really are the best."

"Who’s better, black cow or yellow cow? The answer is New Black Cow."

"Man, he spoke so well. Wooju."

As NewBlack wrapped the Best Male Variety speech and stepped down to fresh applause and cheers,

actors and entertainers in the hall chuckled and traded comments.

"So bright, so bright. That group has both Wooju and Jiho... the future of our acting world is bright."

"If not them, who? The future of variety is bright."

"Juniors like that..."

"Juniors like those..." 𝙛𝒓𝓮𝒆𝔀𝒆𝙗𝓷𝒐𝙫𝒆𝙡.𝒄𝓸𝓶

Mid-sentence, faces blinked.

Senior entertainers cocked their heads.

"Huh?"

"Hmm?"

Something was off.