In This Life, The Greatest Star In The Universe

I couldn’t see anything with the blindfold on.

All I could feel were our members’ hands, gripping one another.

“Riyuk.”

“W-what?”

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you... can I take this chance to say it?”

“What... is it?”

With the blindfold on, it felt like being dragged along as a hostage.

So I wanted to say something I always meant to but never did. Also, it would make decent airtime.

“Riyuk.”

“Yeah.”

“Your hand is......”

I heard a gulp.

“Way too cold.”

“......”

“I’ve thought this for ages, but your hands are ice.”

The kids burst out laughing.

From the driver and passenger seats, I heard the PDs bark a laugh.

I felt him smack my hand away.

“It’s cold extremities, you maniac. It’s not like I want it that way—when I’m tense, my hands go cold on their own.”

“Then wear gloves?”

At the maknae’s line, Riyuk answered in that “you know one thing but not two” tone.

“You know what happens when someone with cold extremities wears gloves or socks?”

“They get warm.”

“You just sweat like that. Beads of sweat, while they stay cold......”

“That’s the most Riyuk-ish condition ever. Like when someone treats you well and you still don’t know what they want from you......”

“Aaaargh!”

Biju screamed.

“Riyuk! That’s me, not Jiho!”

“Ah! S-sorry!”

With our eyes covered, it was hard to know what was happening right in front of us.

Just the noisy chatter and the kids’ soft scuffles.

Maybe because my sight was blocked, the other dulled senses were sharpening.

“......The vehicle just left the road.”

At Junhyun’s comment, I nodded.

We’d been on asphalt, and now the car bumped onto a rougher path.

“Mm.”

Junhyun’s voice again.

“I tried sketching the destination in my head. From the rally park we’re about five kilometers northeast. Feels like we left the road and entered a construction site. I smell fuel... and from the paint fumes, the coat’s pretty fresh.”

“Legendary.”

“Even if we get kidnapped, as long as he’s here we’ll be freed.”

Our human detector was already collecting clues, and the crew hurried to raise the windows.

But we had enough to go on.

If there was a big construction nearby, one place came to mind.

—The world’s biggest theme park is opening a branch in Korea!

Along with the block company’s park in Chuncheon, there was a massive park going up in Hwaseong.

Supposed to open in ’18 or ’19.

A theme park full of sets based on animations and films. We’d been to the LA one.

“......I think I know where.”

“Me too.”

So is it a theme-park concept?

While I let my mind wander, I asked what I’d been wondering about.

“Junhyun. How do you know we’re going east?”

“Because Kim Biju says we’re going west.”

“Ah.”

“That, and sunlight’s leaking in at the edge of the blindfold. At this hour the sun’s in a known direction.”

We applauded, impressed.

“Wow. So that’s what wild instinct looks like.”

“Strong. Farm boy.”

“Different league from cityfolk.”

As Junhyun rippled his arms in a wave, our bodies bobbed too, hands still linked.

Like getting caught in fake waves at a pool.

“Right.”

I squeezed their hands.

“As long as we’re together, we can beat anything.”

“Facts.”

While Biju silently repeated, forever, the maknae chimed in,

“For real, we’re the ultimate team. Wooju does the thinking, Riyuk does the math and the encyclopedia searches. Biju knows exactly which path is wrong, and Junhyun’s strong.”

“True. What about you?”

“I’m in charge of cuteness.”

“......”

“......”

“......”

“Wow. You guys are so mean. Embarrassing a person like that.”

We cooed at the pouting maknae, and at last the vehicle stopped.

I didn’t know where we were, but it felt like the center of a huge site.

There was shade, like something enormous loomed nearby.

“Alright. Time to get out. Don’t panic, please step down slowly.”

“Okay!”

We ducked our heads to not bang them and climbed out.

“Riyuk wouldn’t need to duck. Ow!”

“Biju, you didn’t get hit this time, right?”

“Mm-hmm.”

Next came instructions to let go of each other’s hands, so we did and waited.

“Guys! Together we can do anything.”

“Yes. Now, from here, you’ll each head to a different location!”

“Pardon?”

“Move out, please!”

A hand latched onto my arm. The kids clearly sounded rattled.

Separate right at the start?

As useless as they are, there’s a world of difference between having them and not. Like yanking a teddy bear from a child’s hands.

“No!”

“Wooju!”

“Guys!”

“Hyung! I can’t do this without you...!”

We called to each other, hearts in our throats, but the voices faded quickly.

Uneasy.

A staffer holding my hand said “this way,” and guided me along.

“......Huh?”

A chill, indoor air.

[tok]

[toook]

With the drip of water echoing like we were underground, my heart lurched.

I pictured a dark cave full of bats.

“Excuse me?”

“Yes.”

“Where are you taking me?”

“I can’t say, Mr. Wooju.”

“Are you subscribed to our channel?”

“......Yes.”

At the shy answer, I said,

“I’ll tell you one of Riyuk’s secret facts.”

“Not a chance, Mr. Wooju.”

“......”

“You wouldn’t reveal it without Mr. Riyuk’s permission.”

“You really are a subscriber. Not falling for a lie like that......”

“A true fan.”

“Thank you. Let’s take a photo after. Us.”

I was so tense that anything spilled out of my mouth.

While the staffer chuckled, I went down a long, long staircase and finally arrived somewhere.

It smelled like a musty basement.

I caught a whiff of straw, and somewhere a torch sounded like it crackled.

[creeeeak—]

And that was the squeal of iron bars opening......

Huh?

Bars?

“Sir?”

“Please step in, Mr. Wooju.”

Tap.

A hand pressed my back and I shuffled into the barred space before I knew it.

Well. I couldn’t see, but it felt like I had gone in.

Because right behind me I heard the key turn—clack!

“Sir?”

“Count thirty in your head, then remove the blindfold.”

“Sir!”

Footsteps hurried away.

Gulp.

I swallowed and tried to picture the scene outside the blindfold.

“Feels like I’m underground for sure......”

And I wasn’t alone.

Nearby, I heard weird groans like “uuuuu” or “nggggg.”

Ten. Nine. Eight......

I counted exactly to thirty and set my hands on the blindfold.

“If you jump-scare me, I might react on reflex. I mean it. So......”

I took it off.

Light leaked in and washed my eyes white for a beat, but it wasn’t that bright—my vision adjusted fast.

And what I saw was......

“Huh?”

A prison.

A medieval dungeon straight out of film or TV.

Torches on the walls, a guard snoring in a chair.

And in the next cell, open to mine through bars, a scraggly old man wriggled on his cot.

Other cells had prisoners too.

But......

“Foreigners......?”

All of them were foreigners.

While I looked around, wide-eyed—

[bang!]

“Huuaaagh!”

A middle-aged white man slammed into the bars across the way and flashed a grin.

With yellowed teeth and a foul stink, he said in English,

“Keh-heh-heh! Look at that! Fresh meat’s here!”

Laughter rippled through the inmates.

I stared, blinking.

What on earth... is this situation?

Riyuk blinked at the bright light.

He was in a spacious inner court inside the castle—lawns spread out, stone walls on all sides.

“Mm?”

He cocked his head.

“Gothic? No... looks like there’s Renaissance mixed in too......”

He clocked the walls and the spires around them, then quickly got flustered.

“Hey!”

A big man strode toward him.

Easily two meters tall, armored like a knight.

Anyone would have shrunk back, but somehow he wasn’t scary.

“The plate mail and that helm are from different periods. And they mixed British and French.”

Like a virgin ghost running at you screaming, “I’m a bachelor!”

He had “your historical accuracy is wrong” on the tip of his tongue, but the next line snapped him to focus.

“Look at this slack-jawed whelp! And you think you can defend Dragon Castle?”

“Sorry?”

“As a knight cadet, start by dressing properly! Plagus! Get this fellow his clothes!”

“Yes, Captain!”

Out of nowhere, unfamiliar foreigners spoke to him in English and tossed him leather gear.

“What is this situation?”

Still lost, he slipped into a camera blind spot and changed.

He was dumbfounded.

There were cameras set up, and everything about the place screamed amusement park, so this was definitely a shoot......

But the actors were absurdly good.

“What?”

No real clues stood out yet.

Just the black-dragon flag belching flame, and the knights calling this place “Dragon Castle.”

“Alright—play along.”

That’s what Sun Wooju would do.

Personally, he didn’t love the eldest—but in a crisis, no one was a better role model.

With that, suited up and running back, Riyuk asked with a smile copied from a certain someone,

“So what should I do?”

“Training!”

“Training......”

“I hear your talent is exceptional, so expectations are high. Mr. Kim Junhyun.”

“Pardon?”

At his echo, the captain asked,

“That’s your name. Kim Junhyun.”

“......”

If you’re not Kim Junhyun, who are you—he couldn’t answer that.

A production mistake, or on purpose—no idea.

One thing was clear: the vibe screamed do not say you aren’t Junhyun.

“What would that guy do......”

He decided, after a beat.

Following that warm, awkward smile as best he could,

“That’s right. I’m Junhyun.”

On-site control room.

At the camera hub, the panel clapped and laughed.

“Hahahahaha!”

Riyuk saying “I’m Junhyun” while mimicking someone unexpectedly solemn had them cracking up.

Entertainer Yoo Changhyeon said,

“Wow. The foreign actors are insane. Where’d you find them? They look like they actually act.”

Production wouldn’t say, but they seemed professionally trained.

“Crazy. Feels like watching Thrones.”

Cackling at their own reactions, Ha Eunsung narrowed his eyes.

“Guess it would’ve been hard with Koreans.”

It looked like one of the production’s chess moves.

They needed the guests tense and immersed fast, but NewBlack’s a tough group to push like that.

So they split them up and filled the space with foreign actors who didn’t know NewBlack.

All the members are fine in English.

Which is why a simultaneous interpreter was working in one earpiece even now.

“Mm, so the producer’s intent is... ugh, can’t be bothered.”

He shook his head, dropping the deep dive.

“Brain, clean!”

He emptied his mind and giggled again.

“Still, lucky they’re foreigners. If they were Korean, you couldn’t keep a straight face in front of NewBlack.”

“Right.”

“They’re funny just standing there.”

Even so, at the sight of Riyuk swinging a light stick with swooshes, the American actors had to fight laughs.

“Again! Dragon Sword Art, Form One!”

[vwooom—]

When he traced a weird angle with the stick and snuck a glance for a cue, the panel lost it.

Meanwhile, other feeds showed the members in different predicaments.

“Did they drag Junhyun to a laundry? Looks like it.”

“Jiho’s in a kitchen.”

The members were scattered to dungeon, knight order, laundry, kitchen.

The panel in the situation room tried to calm their pounding hearts.

“Can’t wait to drop a hint.”

They hadn’t found the walkie yet, so they couldn’t talk to the members—but they itched for that moment.

A woman on the panel said,

“Isn’t Biju the main here?”

“Biju’s the main.”

“When’s he coming on. I want to see him react......”

As they traded lines, tossing variety quips, another monitor came alive and faces lit up.

“Oh!”

Biju’s segment had started.

“Please lie down.”

“Sorry?”

“Lie down.”

At the voice beyond the blindfold, Kim Biju tilted his head.

“Like... really lie down?”

“Yes.”

Odd instructions.

We’d arrived somewhere cozy, and now they told him to lie in a bed.

“How should I lie?”

“Any way you like......”

Awkwardly, he slid under the covers.

“Whoa.”

It felt amazing.

He made a mental note to ask which bedding brand it was after shooting, while a staffer moved around.

They picked up his shoes and took them.

“Hey-heyyyy!”

“Yes?”

“Those were a gift from Wooju... please handle with care.”

“Of course! I’ll be careful.”

“Thank you~”

Biju bowed his head and lay back again.

It felt like a hotel room—he wondered where he was and got curious.

“What is this situation?”

He wasn’t sure, but it seemed like a darkened room with curtains drawn.

“Remove the blindfold in twenty seconds.”

“Okaaay~”

He answered sweetly and counted with a smile.

Then—just to be safe—he counted one extra second and took the blindfold off.

“Hm?”

It was so dark he could barely make out shapes.

[creeeak]

The door groaned open and three or four people quick-stepped in.

“Huuuuuh!”

Clapping a hand over his mouth, Biju pulled the duvet up.

Shooting the manager variety show taught him exactly why the Street Boys had panicked so hard during wake-up calls.

Because in the dark, people were shh-shh-shh moving.

He swallowed.

[shaaah—]

The curtains swung and clean sunlight poured in.

“Huh?”

A stately bedroom emerged.

Handmaids bustled in quick steps before the eyes of Kim Biju, lying in bed.

“Wow. She looks like a maid from a novel.”

He stared, impressed.

The maids approached with warm smiles.

“Have you awakened, my lady?”

“Sorry?”

“You little sleepyhead. It’s time to dine with the duke, and even if it’s a nap, you can’t sleep this late.”

“Sorry?”

Biju’s smiling face froze.

“My lady?”

“Yes, my lady!”

Isn’t that a form of address for a woman...?

While his pupils trembled, the maids busied themselves with clothes and cosmetics.

“Up you get, my lady!”

“Oh my, look at this sumptuous pink hair.”

“Truly lovely!”

Biju shut his eyes tight.

“Wooju.”

I have this feeling it’s doomed from the start—just my imagination... right?

“HBS Variety ‘From Now On, We’ — NewBlack Episode”

After a flash of the pink-haired pretty boy going “uh-uh-uh” as the maids tugged him along—

The ⊛ Nоvеlιght ⊛ (Read the full story) interview cut rolled.

Biju: Turns out the genre was that thing. Like the novel that Riyuk once sang an OST for, Blow Up My In-Laws. What do they call it again.

Riyuk: Romance fantasy.

Biju: Ah. Right. Romance fantasy. Ha....

He covered his face with a hand, like it still mortified him to remember.

The screen shifted again to a scene with the subtitle: “The Young Lady Hates Dresses.”