In This Life, The Greatest Star In The Universe

Sometimes in life you go through something utterly ridiculous

Just like right now

Someone who hadn’t exchanged a single word with me for nearly ten days since debut—and someone I’m not even close with—comes up and hands me one hundred thousand won

How on earth am I supposed to interpret this

For a moment I sat there with a blank expression like a computer showing “not responding” then I glanced back and forth between the portrait on the ten-thousand-won bill and the person before me

“Are you saying I should take this?”

“Yes”

Hanjo asked, tilting his head in confusion

“Did you lose this?”

At first I thought What are you talking about but then something caught my eye

Under the bill lay a wallet

The worn-out wallet we’re all too familiar with

Dazed, I reached out and took it, and the other person explained

“I was going downstairs to greet the seniors and found it lying in the hallway. When I checked inside it said ‘Kim Jung-hyun’ on the ID so... I came to the waiting room to return it but you weren’t there”

“Oh... thank you”

“Could you check if anything’s missing? I took the money out and held it like this because I was worried you’d lose it too”

“That’s not necessary”

I thanked him

“Thank you. One of my friends just lost this and must be wandering around looking for it right now”

I wondered why Jung-hyun would sneak off to the snack bar—probably to avoid hearing him nag—so he clearly only took his friend of the same age with him

I pictured the wallet expedition bickering by now and chuckled

“We feel like we should at least give you something”

“No, it’s okay”

Hanjo waved his hand with a laugh

Suddenly the dissed rap from the showcase flashed across his face

But a matter is a matter and a courtesy is a courtesy

Before I could even offer to buy him a sandwich he waved his hand again

“I didn’t do it for any thanks or anything. But we...”

We?

Hanjo glanced toward a table off in a corner and we followed his gaze

Ah, damn

Eight pairs of fierce eyes

Street Boys dressed in hip-hop concept outfits with gold chains were staring at us

But then

What was this

The moment they made eye contact with us they jumped and turned their backs

What the heck

Judging by their looks we should be the ones hiding but why are they hiding

They looked like thieves caught in the act by police at a crime scene. No, more like a gang than petty thieves

Hanjo let out a nervous chuckle and motioned

“Gi-won, come here”

There was no need to look for who Gi-won was

All seven turned simultaneously toward the one called

It was like watching a mime performance

The singled-out member’s face turned crimson and he shook his head vigorously

“I said come here”

After a brief tug-of-war he reluctantly stepped forward

As we watched wondering what on earth was going on Hanjo grabbed him by the arm and said

“We’re going on that senior’s radio show as guests, the two of us. We’ll be doing some dialogue and stuff so it’d be awkward to introduce ourselves then. We thought we’d say hello now and ask you to look after us...”

In simple terms they wanted to break the ice before the broadcast

Whatever their true motives, I smiled too

Introducing our main vocalist who still had that chilly look

“We’re the two who’ll appear”

We exchanged a silent nod of greeting

And that was the end of the conversation

Although the wallet incident had opened the door to talk, we weren’t the kind to chat warmly with each other

Hanjo and Gi-won gave a nod and returned to their table where the others sat

Watching them, I turned my gaze to my juniors

Then I remembered what I’d forgotten

Ah right Jung-hyun

I was about to call him when Ji-ho was already on the phone saying something

A relieved voice came through on the other end

Meanwhile my eyes drifted to Ri-hyeok staring blankly out the window

“Ri-hyeok, what’s up?”

“That guy over there”

“Who?”

“The one who just said hello. That guy named Yoon Gi-won”

Ri-hyeok, who had been eavesdropping on the maknae’s energetic phone call, lowered his voice

“I just remembered who he is”

That day, as soon as we returned to the company I had a brief meeting with Director Jo Gyu-hwan

It was about the radio schedule

Normally there wouldn’t be a need for a sit-down like this but there was something I wanted to show the viewers on this radio

I’d asked for a consultation just in case

“I’m back”

At 10 p.m. in the studio

Ri-hyeok, lying on the sofa listening to songs, pulled out his earphones and sat up

“What did he say?”

“He told me to do whatever I want. He said it’s not a bad plan and he’ll inform the A&R staff in advance”

“Well that’s good”

I opened my laptop and settled at the table in the studio as Ri-hyeok rolled over on his swivel chair toward me

“Then shall we pick a song first?”

The plan I mentioned ✧ NоvеIight ✧ (Original source) to the director was simple

When he asked why I told him about the interview I did earlier that day with Entertainment IN’s reporter Oh So-hee

The side effect that appeared after ‘Fireworks’ became a hit

No matter how good the song is, some people refuse to believe an idol member wrote it

Someday those doubts will fade but

If I have an opportunity to show my ability, why turn it down

After a moment’s thought the director readily agreed

With one condition

“Why turn on the self-cam?”

“He told us to. If he’s going to let us perform our own song on the radio he wants us to document our process”

“I don’t want to be filmed”

“You’re a celebrity, Ri-hyeok. If a celebrity is afraid of being filmed how will you perform?”

“Who’s afraid? Wait a minute why do you keep hiding off camera?”

Busted

I’d angled the laptop deliberately to focus on Ri-hyeok but he—a perceptive kid—noticed

I apologized with an embarrassed look

“I lost confidence when I took my makeup off...”

“Who said you’re not attractive without makeup? Stop making people mad at this hour”

“Since a long time ago I’ve wanted no part of looks”

Ri-hyeok scoffed and rummaged in his hoodie pocket, handing me a black mask

“Put this on”

“Oh...”

“Don’t make that touched face just put it on before I take it back”

“It’s new. I’ll wear it cleanly and give it back”

“Keep it”

Right. He never shares things

I slapped on the mask under my chin along with the baseball cap Jung-hyun dropped and stared at the self-cam

Not bad

I look like a proper pro idol

Clearing my throat at the look Ri-hyeok shot me from beside me I changed the subject

“Then let’s choose the song”

There was one week left until the live broadcast

Not enough time to make a single song let alone even write a proper beat

But the reason I could say that with confidence was—

“Geez you’re not an old man carving a ham. How many source files and melodies did you make?”

The folder was packed with song files

Seeing that Ri-hyeok looked stunned so I explained

“I was super stressed making ‘Fireworks’. To relieve it I made this and that until it piled up. You know how when you study for exams anything but studying seems fun. That’s how I made these”

“Awesome. Truly awesome”

“Right?”

“That’s why you looked so hollow-eyed back then”

“...”

Clicking the mouse I said

“Anyway these were for stress relief so the quality is low. Only two or three are good enough to show to the public”

“I’ll listen to them all anyway”

Ri-hyeok grabbed an A4 sheet from the printer and clicked his pen

Then I played the files

Over time the expressionless main vocalist gradually became absorbed in the music

He usually showed the least expression in daily life but when it came to songs Ri-hyeok’s face was the most expressive

He took notes after each track with the focus of someone in a different world

Which one will he pick?

I had three candidates in mind

The first was a medium-tempo song like ‘Something’ themed on autumn leaves the second was a song about the mystery seen in a fantastical garden and the third was a song themed on the night sea under the Milky Way

And the one I wanted most was...

“I listened to them all and about three seem decent. But that mysterious one definitely can’t be ready in a week and between the other two I liked the ‘Night Sea’ better”

“Really?”

“The mood is lyrical so it fits the radio and also maybe it’s just me but...”

Ri-hyeok looked into my eyes and asked

“You based this on personal experience didn’t you?”

“Huh? How did you know?”

“You think I haven’t sung a song or two? I can guess after hearing it. I could tell this was written most passionately”

“Right. I was so stressed then I wrote it thinking of my grandmother”

“Oh”

Ri-hyeok blinked and paused

His blinking eyes reminded me of a buffering cursor spinning on screen

It looked like he felt obligated to say something nice

The problem was compliments weren’t our strong suit

“Um so your fe-feeling is, um...”

“It’s okay you don’t have to worry. Then let’s pick ‘Night Sea’ for the live. From now on let’s do one job together”

“...A job? What job?”

Sensing something ominous Ri-hyeok edged his chair back but I handed him the A4 sheet

“You need to write lyrics, Ri-hyeok”

“This is a scam. I never agreed to this”

“You know lyricists get paid a lot right? I’m doing this so my brothers can get rich too”

His expression was like discovering the company he’d joined was a pyramid scheme and I gave him an apologetic smile

Sorry

I’m just not very talented at writing lyrics

At first he sighed heavily and shot me resentful looks but once we started working Ri-hyeok delivered his part brilliantly

No, he soared

I always thought he had talent during ‘Fireworks’ but maybe because he read a lot of books he had a knack for lyrics

Of course I wasn’t slacking either

Since it was a song about my personal experience with my grandmother I laid out the framework and Ri-hyeok polished key parts and tidy up my lines

Meanwhile coordinating with the A&R team was my job

“Universe, are you worried that the A&R team will have less to do?”

“I’m sorry I’m a sinner...”

I must have spent a hundred thousand won on Americanos for the staff

Fortunately maybe because ‘Fireworks’ was successful the A&R team grumbled but enjoyed working with me

Above all this song’s concept was ‘a song that feels definitely self-made even if slightly rough’ rather than ‘a song polished by experts from start to finish’ so it didn’t need heavy touches

And so [Composed by Woo-joo] [Lyrics by Woo-joo/Ri-hyeok] quickly took shape

It was possible because the song was nearly complete already

But just when everything was going smoothly a wild card appeared from the unlikeliest place

“Hmm...”

Three days before the Wonderful Night guest broadcast

Practicing the live with Ri-hyeok in the studio I felt a strange discord in his singing

“Ri-hyeok”

“Yes?”

“Do you think you can really sing this?”

“Sing? What are you talking about?”

It was hard to pinpoint exactly what I meant but...

“It might just be my feeling but this song seems a bit too much for you”

“What? Did I make a mistake?”

“No, not technically. The vocal trainers always say sincerity is important when singing. You have to feel and empathize with the emotions in the song to convey them”

Sincerity

A song is a medium through which I express feelings and ask you to feel them too

So before you sing for an audience you must have embodied those emotions yourself

“I don’t feel that in your singing right now”

“...”

“If it were a song with all the guidelines like an existing track you could prepare it in three days but we based Night Sea on my childhood memory of falling asleep on grandmother’s lap under warm hands but...”

That feeling isn’t there in Ri-hyeok’s singing

My criticism was blunt and I watched his reaction but he answered calmly

“You’re scary when it comes to work things”

“Talk to me. What’s the problem? If you really can’t do it just say so. We’ll prepare something else”

If it were a cover I could guide him but

“Honestly, it’s really hard to capture the emotion”

“In what way?”

“Night Sea is about remembering someone who cared for you warmly when you were young and longing for those days”

“Right”

“Weird as it sounds I don’t have such memories”

This needs a good response

“I hardly ever saw my relatives on either side and even within my family there were issues”

“Hmm I see”

“Don’t look at me like that. I’m not asking for pity. I’m just stating the facts”

“Then did you have anyone you relied on? Anyone?”

“No”

“That was fast”

“I really don’t have anyone”

“You have a younger sister”

“Well that’s different”

Ri-hyeok said to my embarrassment

“I don’t like being cared for by anyone and the opposite isn’t great either. I’ve never seen anything good from it”

“I see”

“Don’t you remember what I said before?”

Ri-hyeok clicked his tongue

“I told you that Yoon Gi-won from Street Boys got kicked out of the company because I helped him”