In This Life, The Greatest Star In The Universe

When we stepped out of the car, the cheers hit us like waves.

“Yaaahhh!”

“Hey! Hey, look—NewBlack's here!”

“Oppa! Oppa!”

Amid all the shouts and the crowd surging, the security guards looked helpless.

“Hello!”

We waved and nodded as we passed through. Since it was the year-end recap and Christmas special of a music show featuring singers with great results all year, the crowd was larger than usual. Here and there we saw placards reading “Merry Christmas to our teens!” or “Love you, meat goddesses!” We trailed behind in our padding and Santa hats, Junghyun holding up a sign, “Merry Christmas, Soufflé!”

At the network entrance, entertainment reporters called to us.

“Look this way! Over here!”

“Uju, Uju—take off those flower-shaped sunglasses, please!”

“Ha-ha!”

As my brothers burst out laughing, I sheepishly removed the glasses. Rihyeok and the maknae exchanged “See?” looks at me. Because our shoot time was longer than usual, we struck various poses: the maknae in a red cape did a mock scolding Santa; we posed like mistreated elves; Viju perched the pom-pom strings of his hat on his nose and smiled like Rudolph.

“Thank you!”

We greeted the reporters and entered PBS. As the stares faded, I glanced at my brothers and asked, “Can I take it off now?”

“Well, there aren’t many eyes on you now. As NewBlack’s fashion director, I grant permission.”

“Thank you, maknae.”

With the maknae’s blessing, I shrugged off the green fairy cape I’d been wearing.

“Phew...”

I heard Rihyeok sigh and, looking at my reflection in the lobby mirror, smiled. I wore a Rudolph headband; beneath my coat, the sweater I’d chosen had a sparkling Christmas tree made of faux gems on each bulb.

“Clothes have to be flashy, after all.”

“This is like a twisted Christmas. Who wears a blue coat with a red sweater and green pants?”

“Everything has meaning.”

I explained to the maknae, who didn’t quite get it. “Blue represents our album color. I wore the red sweater inside to show that though the color looks cold, the songs inside are warm.”

“And the green?”

“...That one I just felt like wearing.”

As my brothers burst out laughing, I walked on with a proud stride. °• N 𝑜 v 𝑒 l i g h t •° Until now, the fashion-ista maknae’s nagging had meant I couldn’t even choose my own street clothes—but for Christmas, I used my wish-voucher to dress how I wanted.

Seeing me strut, Rihyeok said, “Even if you just wore a rag, people would clap for you. Why do you bring these outfits from who-knows-where...?”

“But I took inspiration from overseas fashion shows.”

“Which planet’s fashion show was that? Some Planet-4 runway?”

When I showed them a famous designer’s runway on SNS, they all gaped.

“This is fine. Yours is like homemade soy-meat if theirs is the real thing.”

“The color combinations are totally different, hyung.”

To me they all looked alike, but my brothers piled on criticism about subtle tone differences. The stylists carrying racks next to us shook their heads.

“Why are you two like this...?”

“No, it’s nothing.”

With eyes moist as if moved to admiration, the managers gave thumbs-ups. I glanced at them and saw the same reaction—something sad about it, since this morning when I showed Grandma the photos, she’d called me pretty.

“Just let me wear what you pick and buy.”

“.......”

“You know what happens when I dress in street clothes however I want?”

“I know. I know.”

I recalled a photo one Soufflé had taken on our way to Classic Ensemble rehearsals. It was a full-body shot with everything but my face blurred out so heavily you could barely see me. Even Viju, who saved all my pictures, found that one unbearable and cropped out my clothes to save only my face. My brothers teased me it looked like the Great Stone Face meme.

“.......”

I let out a small laugh as we walked down the corridor. Then from across the hall, the members of boy group Iris greeted us brightly.

“Hello, seniors!”

“Hi.”

“Wow, today’s Christmas concept is on point—everyone looks so good...”

As their leader Red complimented us, his gaze settled on me.

“Oh.”

My brothers and I applauded and laughed at the slip—until Red recovered quickly.

“You wear ‘oh’ so well!”

“I think that gag may have caused irreparable wounds.”

“Um....”

“Just kidding. How have you been?”

We exchanged bright smiles. Besides Iris, we warmly greeted everyone we’d met at the network—people we’d missed at the MCA or KMA because we couldn’t attend. But not everyone was thrilled to see me.

“Eun-seong.”

“.......”

“Eun-seong?”

A junior soldier I ran into while going to the restroom walked by as if he didn’t see me, stepping aside like a little civilian avoiding a madman.

“Eun-seong?”

“.......”

“Eun-seong. Where are you going?”

“Who are you? I-—I’m Kevin!”

He ran off, leaving us amused at his parting profundity.

After morning rehearsals:

“Junghyun hyung. Junghyun hyung.”

“Hm?”

“Do that thing. The meme that makes you feel refreshed.”

“One moment.”

Junghyun made a solemn face, then turned to me with a hearty, clearing laugh. I couldn’t help but laugh too. Viju gave me a warm smile.

“But now we’ll change into stage outfits, so—”

“A bit?”

“A-a bit later, right? Wonseok hyung, when do we go up?”

The managers said we’d be on stage soon. As we warmed up our voices in practice, I glanced at the green-room in wonder. Since it was a year-end recap with many veteran artists of long tenure in the lineup, I thought we wouldn’t get a private room—but here we were.

“Please come out for the interview taping!”

“Yes!”

At the FD’s call, we all rose. In the interview room, the male and female MCs and production staff welcomed us. TinSpirit, waiting with long faces as usual, barely nodded in greeting.

“Hello.”

“Hi.”

Because the lineup was so packed, this was a joint interview rather than separate. Both groups wore red, white, and green—Santa and Rudolph colors—so it felt thoroughly Christmas-y. Even the MCs wore red caps with bells.

“Let’s start recording.”

TinSpirit’s Yeon-hu let out a huge yawn, but at the word “recording” he opened his eyes wide and beamed. We all broke into those same on-camera smiles. As our faces settled into agreeable averages, LaRose’s Yu-bin, her hair in pigtails, took the mic.

“Today, for our Christmas special, we have some very special guests!”

“They’re famous for their invite-crushing visuals!”

We and TinSpirit cheered from behind her.

“Wow!”

We all tossed our hands up like sparkling stars; TinSpirit waved back. Satisfied, both groups exchanged approving glances.

“Please introduce yourselves!”

“One—two—three!”

“Merry Christmas! We’re NewBlack!”

Then TinSpirit greeted with a sweet smile, like “Fans, we’re hereee.” The male MC, Wild’s U-san, read the cue card.

“Both groups are beloved for their angelic visuals!”

“Yay!”

“In our show’s own survey of performers, both groups tied for first place in male-group visuals!”

“First place! First place!”

As we openly reveled in that on-air flattery, MC Yu-bin asked, “I have a question: which member do you think is the most visual?”

“If so, please point them out.”

“Ooh. All of you pointed to Uju!”

Before I could point to Jiho, every finger fell on me. Unlike TinSpirit’s members, my brothers seemed to be pointing at something else—but maybe it was my imagination. As my brothers playfully pinched my cheeks, the audience laughed.

“Uju, how do you feel?”

“I’m truly honored. Thank you so much to those who voted for me. I’ll work hard and stay true to myself so your votes aren’t wasted.”

As I answered like a class-president addressing the student body, the MCs and TinSpirit burst out laughing again. We continued with Q&A about Christmas.

“Today NewBlack prepared a special stage, right?”

“Yes!”

“We’re so curious—may we have a sneak peek? Just ten seconds!”

“Ten seconds, please.”

I snapped my fingers in rhythm to give the cue, and my brothers sang the carol’s chorus.

“Wow! That’s so nice.”

“Thank you.”

We beamed as we promoted. “NewBlack will soon return with a winter-themed special album!” “Today we’ll give you a Christmas carol that brings out the winter mood!” The MCs’ eyes went wide.

“NewBlack, music streaming powerhouses this year—your carol stage is truly something to look forward to!”

“Thank you.”

I looked into the camera. “Through our winter songs, we’ll strive to become the three things you think of when you think winter—roasted sweet potatoes, roasted chestnuts, and NewBlack!”

“What a great aspiration! May it all come true... puff... we hope.”

“Please look forward to it.”

As Yu-bin pursed her lips, we shared warm smiles.

“Roasted chestnuts, roasted sweet potatoes—next to these seniors, we’ll stand proudly!”

“So remember to stay tuned—got it?”

We closed with a wink as the mic passed to TinSpirit. The angelic-smiling TinSpirit members shyly said:

“We’ve prepared our title-track stage too—please anticipate it!”

“We love you! Soule!”

They did the little heart signs timidly, and we applauded in admiration. Every time I watched them, I thought: if the Korean branch of the Oscars sprang up, we must nominate these seniors.

After TinSpirit and we chanted “Stay tuned!” together, the cameras stopped rolling.

“Thank you for your hard work!”

TinSpirit, ever-polite delinquents, bowed to the MCs and staff, then instantly shifted from prim posture to sassy one-legged stances, their angelic faces transforming into rebellious teen scowls. As the staff drifted away like an outgoing tide, their leader Hyu-yeon approached us with lollipops.

“Thank you for your hard work.”

“Oh no, seniors—you worked harder.”

“Want me to unwrap it for you?”

“No, we’ll do it ourselves.”

With the rustle of candy wrappings, we shared a moment of pro-idol hardship together.

“I feel like I’m losing my mind. With these schedules, I feel like I might die.”

“Sounds familiar. We’re prepping a comeback too...”

“For that schedule and a comeback? Wow, holy shit...”

TinSpirit’s members gave us thumbs-ups with looks that said, “We seriously respect you.” After bonding over our mutual exhaustion, we were about to leave the interview room when one TinSpirit member spoke up.

“Oh, right.”

“Hm?”

“You said we previewed the carol stage—what was that ten-second snippet?”

The member with the pouty look said, “I want to download it because it feels nostalgic—but what’s the original song?”

“Huh?”

“It’s a special stage, right? Isn’t it a cover of an old carol?”

“Original song?”

“Oh? It’s not? It had that old-time carol vibe and brought back memories...”

I hadn’t expected such a novel misunderstanding. Smiling, I said, “I composed that song myself.” TinSpirit’s members gaped.

“Ahem.”

Jiho cleared his throat as the rest of us beamed. In their eyes I saw a spark of greed. The earnest Hyu-yeon laid a lollipop-offering hand on my shoulder.

“Um, hyung—”

“Yes?”

“What do you charge?”

His tone was like, “Shall we pay by card or cash?” and we all cracked up.

On the Christmas-special pre-recording:

When NewBlack stepped onto the music-show stage, the Soufflé in the audience erupted.

“Woooo!”

“Hello, Soufflé! Merry Christmas!”

For the Christmas special, NewBlack wore a mix of red and white. “So beautiful...” I thought. Maybe because of the costumes, my normally pale skin looked even more luminous against bright red lips today. Rihyeok, in a red cap with a brim, looked like a frosty snowman. I, in a red cape like an ice-cream ad model, held the mic with a bright smile.

“Did you know we’re performing our pre-release song today?”

“Yes!”

“This is a song we made to have fun with you, so please give us your energy!”

NewBlack’s stage today had two parts. The first song was “Wind Flower,” the year’s consistently biggest hit. Seated on chairs, we shared gentle smiles and harmonies, singing to the fans. “So good...”

It was the usual “Wind Flower,” but somehow the Christmas vibe seeped in. As we prepared for the next song:

“They spent some money at Lemon Ent. on this one.”

A wheeled, movable set creaked onto the stage—giant red gift boxes, a Christmas-tree set—instantly the stage became Christmas. NewBlack returned to the chairs and waved to Soufflé.

“Everybody! Merry Christmas!”

After the maknae’s cute call, recording began in earnest. Soft sleigh-bell jingles, playful “droplet fairy” rhythms, an upbeat melody followed by a clear, crisp vocal.

“Merry Christmas—

I’ve been waiting for this day—

I’ve turned the pages of the calendar—”

Our main vocalist smiled warmly into the mic. As members rested hands on their knees, they swayed their heads gently or nodded. The lead vocalist, wearing a Rudolph headband, grabbed the mic with a wink.

“This joy isn’t—

the softly falling snow—

nor the carols ringing through the streets—

but holding both your hands, right?”

At the end, Rihyeok added rich harmonies before I laid down the mic and Junghyun picked it up. With a warm smile, he punched the air as our rapper.

“What shall we do—

A snowball fight is fine—

Riding a sled is good—

Or let’s share

a warm cup of coffee

and talk for a while—”

Our sub-vocalist and main dancer traded lines, “This Christmas let’s—

get to know each other more—

until the white snow

covers this road.”

As the main vocalist gripped the mic, NewBlack rose from their chairs.

“May every season in this world

be our time—

Look—

under the snow, our season remains—”

Those who thought of “Starlight,” our fan-song, smiled. Lyrics of gratitude for being together led into call-and-response lines, “Ride the sleigh—ta-ta-ta-ta—” with us singing to each other or beaming at the camera. Our joyous expressions lifted everyone’s mood. Even on the first listen, Soufflé nodded along to the catchy, classic-sounding melody.

“Truly Made in Uju.”

“This carol stage is amazing...”

“You’re a song-crafting master, Sun Woo-ju.”

As cheers and support filled the studio until the end of the carol, Soufflé rushed out in excitement.

“Wow. Unbelievable.”

“They said this was a fan song—but the quality is insane.”

“Doesn’t it have that old-school carol feel?”

They gushed over the strangely trendy yet timeless melody and said they couldn’t wait for the official release.

“Ride the sleigh—ta-ta-ta-ta—”

“Ta-ta-ta-ta—”

Backstage, the camera directors flipping through the next cue sheet suddenly paused mid-hum and exchanged narrowed glances.

“...Huh?”

For some reason, the song had stuck in their heads perfectly.

Around the same time, in the corridor, trainees stepping out to catch some air watched NewBlack’s pre-recording on the TV with jaws dropped.

“Wow. That’s insane.”

“Did you see when they stacked those harmonies? No way I could do that.”

“Junghyun sunbaenim is so cool. I want to be friends with him.”

Someone said, “The carol is so good—what’s the original?”

“Isn’t it American? Feels like a fan song, but they must’ve tweaked the lyrics for fans.”

“We should’ve done that too.”

These were rookies who’d planned to cover famous carols like “White Christmas” as their Christmas special. “There was such a great hidden gem,” they said, planning to catch the official broadcast later to get the title.

From their corridor waiting room, other artists watching the pre-rec also reacted.

“They’re amazing.”

“What age did they say they are? High-schoolers? I’m getting old.”

“The song is so good—who did it?”

They thought it was a cover, unaware it was our fan-song. Only a group in the spacious back green room recognized it as an original by Uju. They wore warm smiles.

“They must’ve worked nonstop on that.”

“When we rearranged for the month-end evaluation, we drove ourselves crazy—one wrong note and we’d agonize all day.”

“When you hear their work, you know it’s theirs—like a surround-sound scream.”

“If you collaborate with them, it’s intense.”

“Intense? You’d die.”

“I shudder just imagining it.”

Meanwhile, TNT members across the hall were nervously tapping fingers over their phones. One minute later:

Brrr.

A vibration. He Tae-hyun answered, “Speakerphone? Why?” He switched to speaker, and Uju’s voice echoed:

“—Hello, seniors.”

“Hm?”

“If you’re going to ask each of us for songs individually, you might as well make a group chat—very group-chat style...”

In the sigh-laden voice, they all burst into embarrassed laughter.