In This Life, The Greatest Star In The Universe

The sluggish grubs who’d woken up all rumpled wobbled over.

“First-week~”

“First-week, first-week~”

Like little “first-week-mons,” the younger ones went “first-week~” and blinked like fish. The maknae, who’d been limp as a noodle, yawned and set his chin on my shoulder.

“Our first-week numbers are out?”

“Huh?”

“I’m sleepy.... You gonna nitpick me?”

With his pouty chin, the maknae poked my shoulder, peck peck. Feeling like I was being attacked by a woodpecker, I asked Hanjo,

“Our first-week numbers are up?”

“Yeah.”

Hanjo opened a portal site and tapped an article.

“I was browsing the portal and your first-week news was right there on the front.” 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒆𝙬𝒆𝒃𝓷𝒐𝓿𝙚𝙡.𝒄𝓸𝒎

“On the portal?”

Usually, when first-week sales records came out, we had to go look for them ourselves.

This time, hearing it had hit the main entertainment page of the portal, I just tilted my head. It hasn’t even been an hour since first-week sales would’ve closed.

Is “how many we sold in a week” really newsworthy?

“So how much is it?”

For this special album, the seven-day tally was obvious even without looking.

With Empire last time, we set the all-time record at 610,000, but that was largely because it was our first full album.

In contrast, this special album is more of a side release, so even the company was expecting high-400,000s to low-500,000s.

“...I think it’s better if you see it yourselves than if I say it.”

“Huh?”

“Look.”

Hanjo, who’d been wetting his lips, handed over the phone.

The kids and I craned our necks to look at the screen. As our eyes adjusted to the bright light, the letters came into focus one by one.

— NewBlack, Special 2nd Album First-Week Sales Surpass 780,000... “All-Time No. 1”

For a second my mind went blank.

“Uh...?”

“Uh-uh?”

We stared at each other like idiots going uh-uh? then grabbed the phone again and raised our voices.

“Uhhh?!”

What is this.

Are these numbers... even possible?

“Calculator.”

“Why.”

“Does this make sense?”

“It doesn’t.”

With a dazed face, Ri Hyuk kept going.

“But when has anything we’ve done made sense?”

“Th-that’s true.”

My sleep evaporated.

With wide, clear eyes, I read the articles about the first-week numbers.

They had a chart.

Below this special album’s first-week 780,000 at No. 1 was our full album at 610,000, and at No. 3 Teen Spirit’s full album at 570,000.

Below that, things dropped into the 300,000s, showing a 200,000 gap from Teen Spirit.

“...I’m dizzy, hyung.”

Biju’s chin sank onto my left shoulder. Maybe because it was so unexpected, our second’s eyes had gone unfocused.

“What do we even call this.”

“Good question...”

When our full album’s first-week numbers came out, we’d been bouncing around shouting wow! all-time No. 1!

Now we just stared blankly at the screen at the idea of 780,000 for a special album, not even a full.

Watching from across the way, Hanjo grinned.

“Congratulations.”

“Uh... thanks.”

“I was going to let you sleep, but this felt like something I had to tell you.”

When he joked that if it had been a full album we would’ve hit a million, we chuckled.

“Mm?”

“Mmm.”

Maybe the commotion woke them; the Street Boys rubbed their eyes and sat up.

“...What the—snacks without us?”

“Snacks?”

At the word “snacks,” the hip-hop zombies rose like the undead.

As we offered awkward smiles to the guys asking what was up, Hanjo grinned.

“Their first-week hit 800,000.”

“Insane!”

They immediately rushed over, cackling, and gave us a huge roaring cheer, and we clapped palms with them.

“Party!”

“Party!”

“Round two is late-night food!”

“Late-night food!”

“Late-night food!”

Lights flicked on here and there and a sudden party mood spread.

While the kids, surrounded by the Street Boys, laughed in a daze, I leaned back-to-back on the sofa with Hanjo and spoke carefully.

“Mm...”

“What?”

“I’m grateful to everyone, but...”

I really was thankful for the congratulations.

But...

Even among friends, it’s hard to purely celebrate someone being No. 1 in your own field.

“What.”

Maybe he caught my drift, because Hanjo smirked.

“Flip it around. If it were us, would you not congratulate us?”

“Yeah.”

“Hey.”

“I’m petty.”

He shot me a withering same-age glare while I cackled.

As we watched the pack of twelve hooting from a distance, Hanjo went hmm.

“Honestly, saying I’m not jealous would be a lie. Even right now, every three seconds I want to roll on the floor from jealousy.”

“And?”

“What can you do when your friend does well? Good is good.”

I looked at my cheerful friend with the positive mindset.

Then I smiled and held out my fist.

“Thanks.”

“You’re buying tomorrow.”

“Of course.”

“While we’re at it, a song, too...”

I nodded readily, and his face lit up.

“I’ll put you in the queue.”

“How many are in the queue?”

“The A&R team has about 300 requests under review, official and unofficial combined? I haven’t counted exactly.”

“...”

---

While all the Mint-Choco squad were happily rubbing their bellies to the NewBlack leader’s treat of late-night food—

[Order in progress]

—Soufflés were seeing delivery orders pop up on their phones, too.

‘This can’t be helped.’

My singer! First-week! Hit 780,000!

There was no way not to eat chicken.

Soufflés who’d written “Please don’t ring the bell” in the special requests squealed kya-hahat! and rolled on their beds.

‘Insane!’

How could first-week 780,000 be real?

Even in idol-fan hangouts, shock and admiration were flying back and forth.

[NewBlack, Special 2nd Album “~Gii (Strange)~” First-Week Closes / No. 1 Worldwide]

—It’s still January but “No. 1 worldwide,” lolololol

—Even by 2016 standards they’re No. 2, lol. Last year’s US artist weekly sales: No. 1 was 1M, No. 2 was in the 700Ks

—Yeah, last year NewBlack was No. 4 worldwide for first-week

—Truly goblin-like

—So the album performance really goes the way of the title

—Sickkkkk lolololol

—The whole market definitely got bigger, lol. Huge

—If it were a full album they really would’ve hit a million???

—Grats grats

It was almost all clean congratulations with hardly any hate.

Of course it was.

‘Hey antis. Where are you crying right now.’

At the news of 780,000, their energy must have flagged—those who would’ve normally shouted about mass-buying had vanished.

—If you can mass-buy at this scale, that’s impressive in itself lolol

—Sure sure, maybe Gyuho’s a Freemason or whatever

—Is the “Wooju is Illuminati” theory about to debut

—Honestly, saying a princess or prince from some oil kingdom bought the albums is more believable than mass-buying

—But yeah, the growth curve is something you can’t explain in words, lol

Even though you don’t hear it much now, the growth was once so absurd that rumors flew about mass-buying.

[(Rewatch) NewBlack’s growth curve that would’ve made Fibonacci quite pleased]

2015: 70K (Wind Flower) → 120K (Nine)

2016: 220K (Hibernation) → 360K (Falling Blossoms) → 610K (Empire)

2017: 780K (Goblin)

—You can see it’s amazingly similar to Fibonacci’s 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89

—Fibonacci [explainer]: 12th-century Soufflé

—I know the theory behind NewBlack’s first-week numbers, but the margin here is too small to write it

—That’s Fermat

—lolololol ❀ Nоvеlігht ❀ (Don’t copy, read here) the trajectory is insane

—Weren’t antis the first ones to bring up Fibonacci?? lol Back when you were 70K → 120K they sneered “so next is 210K,” remember

—(The snarky comment saying “are you just following the Fibonacci sequence.jpg”)

—Thank you... it turned out exactly as you said ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

—Just how far ahead did you see, sir..

As those jokes flew around,

There was one thing all the Soufflés—Korean fans included—were curious about.

—But where’s the inflow coming from????

—50K in Korea

—Usually side-story/special albums drop like repacks... how is NewBlack still growing

—Even on MeTube it’s weird, lol. Since “Goblin,” views are bigger

—They’ll really hit 100M within a month or two

In other words: where are the new fans still coming from?

Especially with MeTube showing even more remarkable results than before, Soufflés were tilting their heads.

‘Southeast Asia should’ve poured in already last year.’

There are countries that drive MeTube view counts.

India, or Southeast Asian countries like Thailand and the Philippines, or countries in South America.

But I’d heard that in Southeast Asia, they’d already flowed in before Empire came out.

‘South America, maybe?’

I was picturing places like Brazil and Chile when—

The inflow everyone wondered about.

The ones sending NewBlack’s view counts skyrocketing were on the far side of the Pacific.

---

“Woooow...”

A laptop covered with colorful flower stickers.

On its screen were beautiful young men with vampire-like makeup dancing.

‘It’s Biju!’

Biju, drawing a bow like a violinist, wore a lace-trimmed princely outfit and danced gracefully.

Next came a shot of Ri Hyuk dripping water from his hair, hands on the sink, glaring into the mirror.

“Wooooow...”

With both hands cupped over her mouth, she replayed the “Blue Moon” music video yet again.

The view count ticked up again.

With eyes dreamy as if on endless repeat, the fan watched the beautiful boys on screen.

‘Amazing...’

Not satisfied after “Blue Moon,” the fan moved on to the “Masquerade” MV.

A dark banquet hall with candelabras rising.

Like that, she went on a holy pilgrimage through the older songs, then finally arrived at the recent “Goblin.”

‘How did I only find people like this now?’

It felt like she’d lost half her life.

After “Goblin,” she jumped straight to NewBlack TV’s other videos. There was a clip of Jiho fiddling with slime.

There was also a clip of Junhyun doing a cute teddy-bear dance.

Sadly, she didn’t have time to watch them all.

“Lu!”

Her mom’s voice floated up from downstairs.

“Breakfast!”

“Okay!”

“Are you ready for school?”

“Okay!”

Nine-year-old Lucy, shouldering her backpack, looked at the price of NewBlack’s album on her phone with a near-teary face.

‘I lost half my life...’

She closed the laptop and sat at the kitchen table, staring at carrot juice and a plate piled with vegetables.

Chomp, chomp.

Her dad, toothbrush in mouth as he walked around, ruffled her hair.

“What’s this? Our girl’s even eating her veggies.”

“Yeah.”

Gnawing on a boiled kidney bean that tasted like pure no-taste, the nine-year-old’s eyes shone with ambition.

‘I am absolutely buying NewBlack’s album!’

The identities of the new inflow beyond the ocean that the home-base Soufflés were wondering about—

They were grade-schoolers in South America and North America.

Kids who’d swooned for Blue Moon’s Halloween concept fell into NewBlack TV’s kids videos, and this is what happened.

‘...I’m definitely buying it.’

Watching their daughter shiver her shoulders while forcing down vegetables, Dad and Mom wore faces that said she was too cute to live.

“Lu, is there something you want to buy?”

“Yeah!”

“What is it?”

And along with that, album sales were rising across North America.

It wasn’t first-week sales—it was elementary-school sales.

---

Back across the Pacific.

Street Boys were burning through a busy schedule from Monday morning.

—Alright! Let’s welcome the guests who’ll open our Monday morning with a fresh vibe. These guys are hot right now.

Lisa, former Sugarfish member and now a musical actress, spoke brightly inside the radio booth.

—They’re our stars for Monday Part 2 of Brunch Time! Street Boys!

—Waaaaaah!

The nine-member group inside the booth buzzed.

—You’re always bright, but you seem even brighter than usual today.

—Yeah. A lot of fun stuff happened since yesterday...

Lisa asked as Hanjo let his words trail off politely.

—Ah. It’s a different network’s show, but we can’t not mention this. Street Boys are filming a variety show right now, right?

—That’s right! We’re doing it together with NewBlack’s managers.

Drivers at the wheel found themselves glancing at the radio at the word “NewBlack?”

There was a bit of static and Lisa and Street Boys burst out laughing.

—It’s a shame this isn’t a visual radio today.

—NewBlack just did ballet.

—Flexible, aren’t they. Biju-ssi~!

Even the on-site radio staff were laughing at NewBlack’s cuteness.

After wrapping the morning show, Street Boys stepped out of the booth feeling refreshed.

“Ah, this is nice. So nice.”

“An all-time refreshing morning.”

“Happiness x100.”

LB and Lex clapped hands.

NewBlack members, smiling, handed over customized drinks they’d prepared in advance to the happy Street Boys.

“Thanks~”

Street Boys also spotted iced Americanos in the staffers’ hands.

Drinks their managers had prepared.

After those who enjoyed the drinks said thanks and Street Boys set off, Ri Hyuk moved in close like a secretary.

“Here’s today’s schedule.”

A neatly organized A4 schedule sheet.

It wasn’t a vague “about an hour” thing—it had exact notes like “it’s best if you move around this time.”

While some members blinked for a moment, Biju slid up to Giwon.

“Giwon. You okay?”

“Ah.”

“Want a Tylenol?”

A white pill and a water bottle landed in his hand immediately, and Giwon blinked.

‘How did he know?’

Biju hyung was uncanny at clocking what was wrong off the smallest change in expression.

A homemaker who’d materialize like a ghost and solve problems whenever there was an awkward issue that was hard to bring up.

As the members listened to Ri Hyuk explain the schedule, their eyes shifted to Junhyun in back, carrying an enormous hiking backpack.

‘They even have a Doraemon...’

Whenever managers needed something, he’d just pull it out and hand it over—there was nothing he didn’t have.

And as if that weren’t amazing enough...

“There’s a great restaurant on the way to the event hall. Want us to take you?”

“Yes!”

NewBlack’s rapper knew every good eatery in the country.

At news of an incredible spicy pork stir-fry place, the Street Boys members burst into delighted laughter.

Of course they did.

‘Competent. Our friends.’

NewBlack were better at the job than the existing managers.

Before, the company’s handling always made us sigh inwardly, like, they seem to be trying but... eugh.

Now, we were actually satisfied.

If they weren’t fellow artists, we would’ve tried to poach them to work with us.

And the most satisfying thing of all...

—Inc schedule confirmed.

It was news that they’d landed a variety show the company hadn’t been able to land.

Whenever we asked, “Any variety shows we can go on?” the management team always gave us the same kind of answer.

—Uh... it’s not easy to get variety bookings... they have to invite you... and the shows that invite, ummm...

They’d hem and haw and deflect like that.

“Our managers are competent. So competent.”

“Be our managers for a thousand years.”

We all burst out laughing at the quip about “managers of 780K first-week.”

As they glanced at the camera director and writer walking alongside us, the Street Boys looked around for the ones who were missing.

“But where’s Wooju hyung and Jiho?”

“Ah.”

Junhyun said,

“They said they were stepping out for a bit earlier.”

“Where?”

“That part I don’t really...”

“Are they out getting us another schedule?”

We were joking and laughing hard when—

“Speak of the tiger.”

“There they are.”

Clack, clack.

Soft shoe-steps rang down the hall.

At the sight of the coat-wearing chief walking elegantly with a camera crew, Street Boys let out another sigh of admiration.

‘They commit to the bit so well...’

Wooju walked up smiling, with the errand-running maknae and a camera operator in tow.

But they weren’t the only ones.

Behind Wooju, someone else was walking too.

“Ah.”

Wooju introduced a bespectacled man in his forties.

“This is PD Oh Myeonghan from the drama division.”

“Hello!”

While the idols, caught off guard, exchanged awkward smiles with the PD,

Wooju smiled at the curious looks asking why he’d brought this person.

“I was saying hello to PD Shin Murok earlier, and he connected us. He said he’s preparing a one-act drama.”

“Ah...”

“Hanjo, you said you wanted to try acting, right? How about appearing in a PBS one-act this time?”

“Pardon?”

Street Boys went blank in the face.

‘Again?’

‘He got another one?’

‘What is he.’

At the news that, on top of the variety show, he’d brought back a one-act drama offer, everyone blinked in bafflement.

‘What on earth is this guy.’

Chief Joo Sunwoo, sparkling as he smiled.

And—

As his flunkies moved behind him, raising their shoulders like the Himalayas and going ahem, the production crew burst out laughing.