In This Life, The Greatest Star In The Universe

Friday evening.

After finishing our second-day music show on PBS MusicOn, we headed off for our next schedule.

“One, two, three!”

“Hello! We are NewBlack!”

Today’s event was a fan sign.

We greeted the roughly one hundred Soufflé gathered at the Mok-dong event hall with cheerful opening remarks.

“It’s so great to do a fan sign after such a long time. You’re excited too, right?”

“Yesssss!”

“Let’s have fun chatting today before you go.”

We waved enthusiastically at the cheering fans. One by one, they lined up according to their waiting numbers—and they all looked incredibly nervous.

Some kept swallowing hard.

Some wiped sweat from their brows.

Some kept glancing our way, hearts pounding, wondering what to say.

You could even hear their breath.

“Hoo, hoo....”

I turned and saw Ri-hyuk beside me, taking deep breaths and muttering under his breath. He must have been simulating his fan-greeting lines.

“Not great. Not great in my mind.”

He tilted his head sideways and whispered.

“That’s our Ri-hyuk doing mind training?”

“Be quiet. The wall between you and me—perfect....”

“You sound like Snape from the first Harry Potter.”

“Kaaaargh!”

Ri-hyuk spat at me in mock fury while I grabbed the microphone.

“Everyone! He’s so nervous he’s practicing his lines!”

As he buried his face in his hands, laughter bubbled up around us. With our main vocal as comic relief, we kicked off the fan sign in a relaxed mood.

“Uh, hi.”

Some faces were familiar from previous events, but for many this was their first fan sign, and they were visibly tense.

Our maknae greeted them like an eager puppy.

“Come on in!”

“Oh, hello.”

“Is this your first fan sign?”

“Yes.”

“Wow. First time, huh? I was super nervous the first time too—everyone gets nervous at first. So, where are you from?”

The initial awkwardness melted away in an instant. One fan even shared her favorite makeup products so enthusiastically you could see the other fans thinking, “What just happened?”

Thanks to our maknae, she relaxed completely....

“...!”

And immediately tensed up again.

“Hello.”

When she bobbed a curtsey and moved closer, she jumped in surprise.

Realizing why, I leaned back and asked,

“How are you feeling now? More comfortable?”

“Hyung, if you lean back any further you’ll have a double chin.”

“Oh. Really?”

I pulled my head slightly forward at Biju’s warning.

When I waved both hands sparklingly and said, “Helloooo,” the fan opposite me burst out laughing. Fortunately, the mood quickly eased, and we chatted freely.

“Nice to meet you!”

Even in this brief time, our conversation topics varied wildly—from reality shows to recent hobbies to vitamins. We even discussed favorite burger menus, and one fan lamented that her local burger joint had recently closed, which made us all a bit sad.

Just having time to talk with fans after so long felt wonderful.

“Wow. Which song on this album did you like best?”

“I liked ‘Goodbye’ the most.”

“Really?”

“It’s so comforting when I listen to it.”

The highlight for me was hearing a fan say she loved my composition “Goodbye.” She’d had a sad experience last year, and “Goodbye” had given her great comfort. She said she wanted to tell me that in person—so I beamed.

As a singer, there’s no greater pride than knowing I’ve positively influenced someone.

“Thank you for making such a beautiful song.”

“Thank you for listening so beautifully. Oh, and if you liked ‘Goodbye,’ please watch Music Core today.”

“Music Core?”

“We performed ‘Goodbye’ there.”

“I’ll definitely watch.”

We shook hands, both of us smiling, then she moved on to Biju.

During a lull, I watched my brothers chatting with fans nearby, eyes shining—then my gaze landed on someone.

“Ri-hyuk.”

“Yes?”

“...Where is goodbye?”

“‘Goodbye...where?’”

Ri-hyuk pondered seriously, arms crossed.

He’d fallen for it again.

While everyone stifled laughter, Ri-hyuk answered thoughtfully,

“Isn’t parting defined as the moment you exchange farewells with someone?”

“Wrong.”

A fan giggled, and Ri-hyuk’s eyes snapped open.

“Wrong? Why...?”

“You asked ‘where,’ Ri-hyuk.”

“...!”

“This ‘bye’ is a star—‘byeol’ (star), Ri-hyuk.”

As the fan cackled, Ri-hyuk froze, then caught our mocking eyes and realized what had happened.

“....”

His face reddened and he buried his nose in the table cushion. Even speaking into the cushion, his “Nyaaa” resonated dramatically around the venue.

“Hahaha!”

Ri-hyuk tried to explain the difference between planet and star—“A planet isn’t a star!”—but the fan simply flashed a cool smile, draped her cardigan dramatically over her shoulders, and exited.

Watching that gave the next fan in line courage. I noticed her fist clenching tightly.

“Uju.”

“Yes?”

She looked extremely serious as she delivered her own pun.

“I feel a wall between you and me.”

“Really?”

“Yes. The wall I mean is....”

“Is it this wall?”

As she prepared her “perfect” quip, I mimed touching an invisible wall, narrowing my eyes. Startled, she let out a muffled sound and shrank back, wriggling like a shrimp and drooling.

“Oh! Would you like a tissue?”

“Uh... yes!”

“Hold on. I’ll open the door.”

I pretended to open an empty door in mid-air, peeked through, and asked,

“Are you okay?”

Then offered her a tissue. She burst into tears and retreated.

“Hey!”

“What are you doing?”

“Aaahahaha! Get away!”

“You still have to take the tissue!”

We all laughed at the fan’s real-time anguish.

That night, Soufflé posted fan-sign reviews in their online communities:

– Mok-dong fan sign roundup

– Short fan sign review (long post)

– “If you look into Kim Jung-hyun, Kim Jung-hyun will look into you” meme.gif

– “Biju, ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ”

– “Where is goodbye? Shout the answer to come in (or Ri-hyuk if wrong)”

Alongside pre-recording and fan-sign anecdotes, one figure stole everyone’s attention:

– “Is Mr. Clam here? Knock knock”

– “ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ Mr. Clam, please report inㅋㅋㅋㅋ”

– “Oh wise Mr. Clam, where are you?”

– “Clam!”

– “But that was funny no matter who did itㅋㅋㅋㅋ”

– “From now on, the only two legends here are Squid Princess and Mr. Clam”

It was the fan who’d shouted “Clam!” and mimed the wall bit, whose post made it to the site’s Best section:

[Reaction When Your Bias Says “I Feel a Wall” (feat. Uju)]

With captions on the video:

– “ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ this fan sign # Nоvеlight # is like a grandmother’s gourmet restaurant”

– “Seriously, are they comedians?ㅋㅋㅋㅋ”

– “Jung-hyun and Biju taking notes beside them are even funnier”

– “(Image: dictator taking notes) ‘wall... I feel...’ then mime it...”

– “(Zoomed capture) Jung-hyun’s impressed faceㅋㅋㅋㅋ”

– “They said they even drooled?? I was expressionless then drooled tooㅋㅋㅋㅋ”

– “But how do they do it so well? If you didn’t know, you’d think there really was a wall there”

– “Really, it felt like there was a wall”

– “Could you... do that line...?”

This clip spread to external communities under the headline:

[Ujuseon Character Controversy]

(gif)

Fan says “I feel a wall,” and Ujuseon responds with mime

Is this a problem?

– “ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ”

– “Oh dear, Ujuseon’s at it again; I thought she was weird when she welcomed that fan so enthusiastically”

– “By now, Ujuseon must be the real star”

– “Rumor that Ujuseon plays Spider card game while eating drug-laced gimbap”

– “That mime was insane lolㅋㅋㅋㅋ”

– “True madness in the music industry”

Meanwhile, someone immortalized online as “Mr. Clam” revealed themselves:

[As of today, I’m off Uju. Don’t stop me]

It’s me, Clam.

sob sob<

I practiced my cheesy lines so hard, but because of Sun Woo-ju I drooled all over—ugh

Laughing so hard I even sounded like a pig, so embarrassing smh

But I’m a natural attention seeker, so I kind of feel proud

Photo auth via the tissue Uju gave me

Fans chanted “HONG-ha! HONG-ha!” as they welcomed the triumphant return of this newly minted “Mr. Clam.”

As we scrolled through music show tidbits and fan-signer reviews, dabbling in our usual online banter:

– “It’s about to start...”

– “I think our kids are on next... Isn’t their airtime basically a special feature?” 𝒻𝘳ℯℯ𝑤ℯ𝒷𝘯ℴ𝓋ℯ𝘭.𝑐ℴ𝑚

– “Can’t wait for Music Coreㅠㅠㅠ”

– “Oh, here they come ㄷㄱㄷㄱㄷ”

Late that night, on PBS’s Music Cafe, NewBlack appeared in black hanbok-style overcoats like the show’s protagonists.

Watching NewBlack on the TV, Soufflé swelled with pride—just from the audience reactions:

“Woooo!”

Every time Ha Seung-ju gave our introduction, Soufflé jumped and squealed. It felt amazing to see that same kind of feverish response usually reserved for a fully reunited second-generation “national girl group” like Daylight.

For a moment, we all reminisced about our first Music Core appearance—then the performance began.

Young men draped in black robes each picked up a microphone and delivered a delicate vocal performance.

“I love the gayageum fusionㅠㅠㅠ”

“Gyuho, I’ll pay—you must drop the audio track”

“The gayageum accompaniment and the guys’ voices match perfectlyㅠㅠㅠ”

“Will they upload the Music Core fancams? Please, please, please...”

“The original ‘Nakhwa’ is great, but I love this calm rendition... really need the audio”

SNS and forums flooded with praises for NewBlack’s live show. Some fans even identified the gayageum player:

“That gayageum player is super famous in the gayageum world here!”

“Really famous?”

“Among young players, she’s the most renowned—and from a national-treasure family, I hear.”

“Wow...”

“Come to think of it, we were the ones who got Ha Seung-ju to shuttle between the piano and sweet-potato stall at the showcase.”

As we admired the gayageum instrumentalist credited on the album, our live “Nakhwa” ended, and the talk segment began—online and off, laughter erupted.

“Teacheeeer!”

Before anyone could even properly introduce the gayageum master, our baritone rapper looked for her, prompting everyone to chuckle.

“Can that even work?”

“I mean... huh? It does?”

“Haha!”

When the gayageum player finally appeared—“Found you?”—the entire audience cracked up.

“Is that even possible?”

“It’s Jung-hyun.”

“Well, that makes sense.”

Though it was technically a late-night music program, it felt more like a rowdy pub variety show—and everyone loved it.

“Ugh... that kills the buzz for beer.”

Aside from a producing team at another table proclaiming “We love NewBlack! We love it so much!” in defiance of the cold stares from other patrons, bearded uncles scattered around wiped tears while eating chicken.

“The public just doesn’t know their true colors.”

“Hey, Hyungseob, shouldn’t you stop drinking beer? You’re plastered.”

“Burp! No, I’m good. I’m fine. I just got so happy seeing my friend on TV—sob!”

Senior staff patted the youngest on the shoulder.

“It’s okay. You’re not the only one. We’ve all been there.”

“I had a hard time too... It never ends. One friend cries and another laughs.”

“Another 1000cc of beer, please!”

The producing team linked arms, humming “We’re producing—no freedom for us~” while an abrupt ghost-story segment on NewBlack popped up on screen, sending everyone into peals of laughter. They even turned off the lights.

Watching them earnestly tell ghost stories—complete with Jung-hyun’s SFX, the master gayageum player’s eerie BGM, and our maknae’s acting chops from drama cameos—Soufflé felt proudly entertained.

We’ve already seen it, so it’s not scary at all, haha.

I typed with trembling fingers:

– “hahaha... not scary at all”

– “At this point, seeing oppa jump out at night is way scarier”

– “My parents turning the volume down in advance is so cute”

– “Not scary in the slightest ㅎㅎ (cold sweat)”

While Soufflé enjoyed the show’s behind-the-scenes stories, most casual viewers were probably more intrigued by the MiP backstory—fans cared most about the music.

[“For that part, we referenced a few things. Because petals don’t actually make sound, we had to invent one...”]

I loved seeing our leader calmly explain the song’s creation process in his gentle voice.

When they teased that a B-side stage was coming, ears perked up:

“It’s a B-side stage.”

I already knew Uju wrote “Goodbye.” Many fans listed it alongside “Kkotnori” as their favorite album tracks—and had been speculating about its lyrics for days.

“It’s a song about our parents,” some guessed.

On TV, Uju described how “Goodbye” was born in a steady voice, then the piano intro began, and the stage felt so immediate it was as if it were happening right in front of us.

I had a dream

There was a single star

Small and beautiful

The star where you live

Her vocal was so vivid I could almost feel each breath echo in my earpiece.

And then:

Tears.

Before the first verse even ended, fans sniffled and wiped their eyes. When I tried to blink back tears and look again, my vision was hazy.

In a world without day or night

On a star where no one ever leaves

For the entire song, it felt like someone was sharing their hidden story right in front of you. Sometimes, when someone tells a story calmly, the listener can’t help but cry.

Uju smiled, as if to say “It’s okay,” and her rendition of “Goodbye” seeped into our hearts.

“Goodbye, how have you been?

I’ve missed you.”

Fans with similar experiences felt it deeply. When the song ended, tear-streaked Soufflé felt a catharsis akin to what their singer once felt—and profound gratitude.

“Uju.”

To the singer who bravely shared her unspoken feelings in song, fans felt thankful. They admired her courage to confront painful memories and her generosity in sharing that story. Watching the other members add harmonies in support, Soufflé’s minds filled with appreciation.

– “I’m crying right now”

– “Quick, show my face on screen to calm me down”

– “Thank you so much for debuting, Uju”

– “Made me think of my late grandfather—this was so good”

– “After all these years, I didn’t know what real communication felt like until today”

– “Today’s Music Core will be unforgettable...”

– “My mom’s crying tooㅠㅠㅠ”

Everyone shared the same emotion. Viewers at home, sitting around their TVs, had similar reactions—projecting memories of their own ’90s piano-hero onto our performer.

“...I hope they do even better.”

“Right? She’s such a kid at heart.”

“Watching her play reminds me of my dad.”

Such comments flew by—then the show returned to a lighthearted mood, teasing the maknae with a hearty “Yo!” before launching into the “Kkotnori” stage. Laughter and cheers closed out the broadcast, but even after the screen went dark, “Goodbye”’s refrain lingered in everyone’s ears late into the night.

“It was so beautiful, so thought-provoking at this hour.”

Back in our dorm, I heard my brothers chatting in the living room, red-eyed with excitement as reactions poured in.

“Hyung, did you see this? ‘Goodbye’ is climbing the charts fast.”

“Did you see this article’s comments? Nobody’s sleeping—asking Uju to play now?”

I waved to my brothers calling me, then headed upstairs to my room and answered the phone.

“Hello?”

“It’s me.”

“I saw the broadcast. Grandma?”

“I-I saw it....”

Hearing my grandmother’s trembling, tearful voice, I smiled. “Goodbye” was a song made for me, yes—but not just for me.

I listened as she spoke haltingly, and I beamed.

Opening the window onto the terrace, cool night air drifted in. Gazing at the same night sky she must be seeing in Gunsan, we talked about our departed loved ones.

Of course, that call lasted a long, long time.