In This Life, The Greatest Star In The Universe

The preparation of the Dokkaebi track proceeded smoothly.

“Could you put a little more emphasis on the chorus section? There’s going to be a pretty intense move there.”

“What do you have in mind?”

“Like this.”

I placed my fingers on the synthesizer and gently unfolded in sound what was in my head.

As you would reshape string figures in play, I stretched and compressed the original melody to show its direction, and the producers nodded in approval.

“Oh...”

“This is good. We could use this as the final version right away.” 𝕗𝐫𝚎𝗲𝘄𝐞𝕓𝐧𝕠𝘃𝕖𝐥.𝐜𝚘𝚖

“Did you just come up with this on the spot? It’s remarkably polished.”

I smiled at the impressed producers.

‘Well, I was working on it while watching the awards.’

‘Don’t let them know.’

My younger siblings, seated on the sofa and munching on snacks we brought from Hong Kong, beamed at me with proud smiles.

“But, Uju.”

PD Na Sangyun, who had been listening to the revised melody, asked.

“You really improvised that just now?”

“Ah.”

“No, it’s too refined to have been made instantly...”

Under their questioning gazes, I confessed the truth. I told them that I’d thought of parts I wanted to tweak while watching other artists’ performances at the awards show, and that I had rehearsed it in my head on the plane ride back to Korea. Only then did the producers relax their expressions.

“Phew...”

At the collective sigh of relief, our maknae asked,

“Why is everyone so tense?”

“Well, we were all worried that Uju had really improvised that change on the spot.”

“If you’d actually done that here, I might have quit composing altogether.”

Their laughter filled the room. If I had truly rewritten and completed it in that moment, I might have seriously considered retiring as a composer.

“Hahaha!”

We shared a warm laugh with the composers. And we decided not to tell anyone at the singer’s table that I had actually revised it while watching the awards on my phone.

Junhyun gave a thumbs-up.

‘Maintaining adults’ childlike wonder is precious.’

It was true. Smiling brightly at the composers, I turned the discussion to the other tracks.

PD Na Sangyun looked at the track list and said,

“Shall we finalize it at around nine songs, including Blue Moon?”

“Yes. We’ll need to discuss details with the TF team, but...”

Only the title track “Dokkaebi” was still in the finishing-touches stage. The other songs for this special album were already complete. There were nine in total, including Blue Moon, and aside from two tracks written by the producing team, all were my originals.

“The song titles are quite distinctive. Man in the Castle is about Dracula, right?”

“The composition is solid. It has character.”

“I hope ours does well this time too. Every time, only the tracks we write drop off the charts...”

“Aah...”

As with Winter Nap, our purpose for this special album was simple: unlike regular or mini albums tailored for our idol activities, this one let us explore musically whatever we wanted. In other words, it was like a side story. After Winter Nap succeeded, the CEO and director granted permission for another go.

“The album title is ‘Gi-i (奇異).’...?”

“Yes. The gi in ‘strange.’”

We had originally planned a song called “Dokkaebi,” but the idea for this theme came while working on the Hailey and Halloween tracks. Halloween features monsters like mummies, vampires, and werewolves. We thought we’d write songs about the bizarre beings from myths and folk tales around the world.

“Isn’t the music itself really fun? It feels so vibrant. Recording it was such a blast.”

At the maknae’s words, the others nodded in agreement.

Junhyun said,

“Really, Ri Hyuk and Uju hyung barely ragged on us this time.”

“What are you talking about? When did I ever rag on anyone?”

“Come on, Junhyun. Look me in the eye and say that.”

Junhyun slipped behind Bijoo, who was peeling an apple, and hid.

The producers, who burst out laughing, said,

“All right. While you’re in Japan, we’ll finish the work.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

What we had expected to be a heated composing session had ended peacefully for the first time in a while.

As we headed down to the practice room with the members,

“Oh.”

Something I’d forgotten came to mind.

When the producers asked us collecting our light sticks and trophies,

“What’s up?”

“Would you like to see a rainbow?”

“A rainbow?”

When Junhyun held up the light stick and trophy to show us a rainbow, the composers burst into uncontrollable laughter.

A few days after the awards, as we practiced for the concert and checked the internet now and then, pleasant articles greeted us.

The awards were definitely prestigious. With the somewhat embarrassing title “Nation’s Idol” attached, it felt like recognition that we were truly popular. Receiving the Artist of the Year award made it feel even more triumphant.

As news spread, the general public left “We support you~♡” messages in comment sections, which always felt good to see. Not only online but people around us reacted similarly.

“CEO! Why are you running all of a sudden?”

“Pant pant! Trying to catch the elevator.”

“Aren’t you coming with us...?”

“Go ahead and ride first. Haha.”

Every time we ran into the CEO at the company, he’d hurry to press the elevator button for us or turn the lights on when we entered the meeting room—making us feel like the dearly beloved children of a lemon mansion.

“It’s really overwhelming...”

“I know.”

“But I like it.”

“That’s true. Hahaha!”

We laughed with our younger siblings. The CEO and director were delighted, praising “our Artist of the Year,” and our families reacted similarly.

“Hyung, look at this. Mom’s profile picture.”

On our family messenger group, most profile pictures had changed to shots of us receiving the award. Bijoo’s mother had set a close-up of Bijoo with the caption “Mother of the Artist of the Year.”

“Take care of your health, maknae? That’s Junhyun’s dad, right?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

When we won Song of the Year last year, they were thrilled—but this award seemed even more meaningful. Starting with Bijoo’s mother and all the way to Jiho’s father, every family member’s picture on my screen was from our award moment.

“...”

All except one person.

“...Uh...”

I looked at the messenger screen with a troubled expression, and Bijoo offered an awkward smile.

“Well, grandma isn’t used to electronics, so her profile is still a butterfly photo.”

“That makes sense.”

Her profile picture had been saved as a disgruntled cheese cat wearing props. Just then, when we refreshed, a new profile appeared.

“...Oh!”

My heart fluttered as I saw Madam Kim Deoksun holding a cat in one arm, her hand adorned with a jeweled ring.

“Ah, this is too much.”

I sent a protest message, and a reply came back:

Kim Deoksun [Check your bank book]

I opened the bank app and saw that Grandma had sent a congratulatory gift for the award under the memo “For my beloved Uju.” As Bijoo exclaimed in awe, I tapped out:

Me [I love you]

Kim Deoksun [Me too]

Me [You know it’s all thanks to me, right?]

Kim Deoksun [┻]

Me [Typo?]

No further reply came. Well. We had cried together on the day of the award during our call, so I decided to let the profile photo thing go.

“It was too much money to complain about.”

“Bijoo.”

“Yes!”

As Bijoo used an apple to muffle Junhyun’s mouth, Junhyun crunched through his apple while we checked other online reactions. If the general public had been talking about our award...

“Hmm.”

Idol fans were discussing something else.

[Idol sightings of NewBlack on Y-App]

It seemed that Serenity, Street Boys, Teen Spirit, and others mentioned us on their live broadcasts—for the rainbow.

‐ After the show, I went to meet Hailey Blue sunbaenim, and they showed me a rainbow. It was amazing.

The rainbow Junhyun showed had become the hot topic.

┗Big brother Junghwan is a goat... he wouldn’t know that

Seeing everyone laughing in the comments, I browsed around for a while but soon gave up.

“Ugh, my eyes...!”

“Yikes.”

“Woah...”

I recoiled when I came across posts filled with vicious insults about us. I thought I’d grown accustomed to harsh words as an idol, but these were on another level.

I asked Ri Hyuk, who looked stunned,

“Are you okay?”

“I’m f-fine.”

“Just forget about it. Quickly forget about it.”

“But how could someone wish for a person to get hit by a car...”

We all surrounded Ri Hyuk and patted him comfortingly.

“They’re crazy people. Always wishing for plane crashes and stuff too.”

“Don’t worry about it, hyung. I’ll have my dad file a suit.”

“We should talk to the company about this soon. Some people really cross the line...”

We hadn’t just been looking at the PR team’s curated reactions. Even seemingly innocuous titles or content didn’t matter—malicious comments can strike unexpectedly anytime. Then we switched to another site to heal among the Souffle posts and luckily found something heartening.

“Ahahaha...”

“...”

We exchanged looks and nodded.

“Let’s practice.”

“We have to practice.”

Seeing these insults and negative feelings, we realized one thing: there’s no need to confront them in person or argue. We can prove ourselves with our skills. Becoming even more successful is the best result—and the greatest revenge on such people.

“I’ll start practicing vocal parts.”

Ri Hyuk gave me a calm nod, and we all nodded back.

A few days later, we departed from Gimpo Airport for Japan.

“It’s been a while since we were in Japan.”

I glanced around and nodded at Bijoo’s words.

“Yeah. It really has been a while.”

“Hehehe...”

Our maknae sneezed into her hand as if her nose was ticklish, and I blew air on her face.

“What is it? Even more ticklish... hehehe...”

“Are you allergic?”

“It was chilly on the plane, but it’s warm here, so...”

“I told you to dress warmer.”

Everyone else wore thick padding, but the maknae had styled herself in a thin coat so she would look good in paparazzi photos.

It was December at Kansai Airport. Most passengers retrieving their luggage wore heavy coats or padded jackets.

Junhyun nodded.

“You should have dressed as warmly as us.”

“Right.”

The four of us tapped our hands together and wiggled around in a little dance.

The maknae shook her head.

“Hyungs, you know those tire shops along the road? The ones with the tire man?”

“...”

Her words rained on the padded jackets of her hyungs. Soon, the managers who had retrieved our luggage joined us as we prepared to exit. The Kansai Airport security staff whispered into their radios, nodded at us, and gestured forward.

“Let’s go.”

“Thank you~”

As we stood before the automatic doors, the moment they opened, a roar erupted that could have raised the temperature even higher than the heaters.

“Waaaaaaaaa!”

Countless Souffles waved placards. In the midst of flashing cameras from local reporters, we navigated through quickly with the help of security.

“...”

Hands reached out to us from every direction, and I swallowed involuntarily. Compared to our last visit, the welcome crowd had grown at least fivefold. Because of that, boarding the bus safely was difficult.

“Phew...”

Junhyun wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead and said,

“There are so many more people now.”

“There really are. It feels like three to four times more than last time, doesn’t it...?”

Ri Hyuk clicked his tongue in disbelief, and Jiho smiled as she loosened her tangled scarf.

“But isn’t this great? It reminds me that we really worked hard this past year.”

“Yeah.”

This was our return to Japan almost exactly a year after our first visit. It was encouraging that so many gathered in Osaka rather than Tokyo. I smiled and waved at Wonseok hyung holding the NewBlack TV camera.

“Yes, NewBlack has arrived in Japan~!”

“Waaaaaaaa!”

This Japan show was part of the continuation of our world tour that began after Blooming. During the summer Asia tour, it was awkward to schedule another Japan show so soon after the early-year concerts, so December got pushed back as a separate leg.

“We’ll perform in Osaka for two days, then Tokyo for two more!”

“Waaaaaaaa!”

After we finished giving our impressions on camera, Hyung Seokhwan gave a wry smile.

“You know we’re getting slammed by your Japanese fans over this concert demand mismatch?”

“Why?”

“They say you can’t meet the demand...”

“Hahaha!”

“How are we supposed to meet that?”

Hyung Seokhwan shook his head. Concert hall bookings are usually arranged months or even six months in advance, but it seems fans grew more numerous than expected.

“Don’t be too sad, hyung. It’s a good problem to have.”

“Right. It’s a good thing.”

He smiled soon enough and told us the schedule.

“I was worried because promotion was so tough last time...”

“It was hard.”

I remembered spending an hour with Maeda sensei talking about hair loss and what not to eat. Hyung Seokhwan laughed and said,

“As I told you before, this time we’ve got a spot on a national morning information show.”

“A morning info show?”

“That’s right.”

He said it was the most popular morning information program in Japan. After the news slot, they air a variety info show that’s quite a hit.

“Do a lot of people really watch it?”

“Why?”

“Well... I wondered if maybe you got it °• N 𝑜 v 𝑒 l i g h t •° wrong.”

I recalled a foreign actor who appeared on what he thought was a major show here but found it odd, since morning shows aren’t that big in Korea.

“Hollywood actors and pop stars all try to appear on it when they come to Japan. You can look it up on MyTube.”

It was true. I saw Hailey sitting primly playing guitar in a morning studio, Logan Smith dancing with backup dancers, and director John Edwards of Nostalgia pounding mochi with a hammer. Familiar faces from TNT and Teen Spirit appeared too.

“So it really is a popular show...”

“If Hailey sits demurely, it’s popular.”

In addition to that morning show, we had lined up quite a few interviews with Japanese media. I’d thought they might avoid or not book us, but it turned out otherwise.

“This time, America made a big splash.”

“America...?”

“After fans gathered in New York and we appeared on a talk show, bookings here became smoother.”

“Oh...”

Our unintended success on the U.S. talk show produced a ripple effect. Hyung Seokhwan said they’d pre-cleared any sensitive questions with the stations. For a moment, I nodded along before asking,

“But...”

“I feel like something’s missing.”

“Me too...”

“I feel like I forgot something important...”

“Like when you leave the house and you have that ‘Hmm’ feeling.”

As we racked our brains, we met each other’s eyes.

We recalled when fans in Japan honked and screamed at the airport last time, and Bijoo almost became an international lost child. Imagining the maknae trembling and crying brought us to our feet.

“...Bijoo!”

We spotted someone in the corner of the bus.

“...?”

Our main dancer sat knitting and nibbling an apple. Our gazes met. Bijoo cocked her head in confusion as the others stared at me, waiting to see how I’d handle it.

“Bijoo!”

I raised my fist and shouted,

“I love you!”

“Eh... me too, hyung!”

“Me too, I love you! Our NewBlack family!”

“Waaaah!”

Hyung Seokhwan pressed his hand to his face to stifle his laughter as we all smiled and nodded together.

‘Well done.’

‘That was natural.’

A crisis had come but, once again, we navigated it safely.