In This Life, The Greatest Star In The Universe

As we took our seats the staff came by to attach microphones

I sat on the single sofa at the far left and Bi-ju Jung-hyeon and Ri-hyeok sat in the middle

Ji-ho sat on the single sofa opposite me

“Ji-ho don’t cross your legs”

“Okay”

Before the assistant director could say anything I jumped in

The maknae uncrossed his legs

He usually never crossed them so I wondered why but seeing him tapping his feet I guessed he was nervous

The other members were the same

Bi-ju kept checking her makeup by reflecting her face in her phone and Ri-hyeok well Ri-hyeok was Ri-hyeok

If you gave him a title like in Greek or Roman myth it would probably be the god of nervousness and fragile mental state

Jung-hyeon alone calmly eyed the fancy snacks on the table

“Jung-hyeon”

“Yes hyung”

“It’s a sponsorship a sponsored snack”

“But if it’s sponsored shouldn’t we eat it Isn’t that why we’re sitting on this sponsored sofa”

“Why do you only get smart when talking to me”

The staff attaching our microphones pursed her lips to suppress a laugh

She must have enjoyed our pathetic banter

The atmosphere seemed fine so I asked about the snacks but she flatly refused

Jung-hyeon and I shrugged at each other

Meanwhile I observed my brothers

“Ah I’m so nervous”

“What are you nervous about You don’t look nervous at all”

“Your leg is shaking”

“......”

Bi-ju laughed softly and Ri-hyeok’s ears reddened I lightened the mood with a joke and reassured them

“It’s our first reality show so it means a lot but don’t be nervous let’s do it like always like at home Oh they said home again I mean dorm Let’s do it like we do at the dorm When did you start being so prim and proper”

“I’m prim and proper hyung”

“Yes Bi-ju is prim and proper But the rest of you When did you get this nervous”

These days with more broadcast activities they hardly noticed cameras but since this was our first reality shoot they seemed a bit tense

For a moment I saw the expressions from trainee days on their faces

It made sense

All idols dream of debuting and immediately shooting a reality show like this

Unlike other variety shows this one was especially meaningful for us

As I cracked a few more jokes to ease their nerves their faces quickly returned to normal

“Puhaha can I eat this”

...They returned to themselves a little too much

After the chaotic set was prepared the PD holding a rolled script approached

“We’ll shoot in a few segments As you’ve heard your reality concept will proceed somewhat like a beauty show”

HBS MTV reality It’s the New Black

As we heard in the pre-meeting our reality show differed slightly from others

Most idol reality shows simply air footage of trips or daily life but in our case studio recording is added

The head writer said

“You guys have personalities and an atmosphere different from other boys your age so I thought if you just have fun chatting among yourselves it’d be interesting”

Since the PD’s previous program was a beauty show they decided on a similar format

We’d shoot VCR segments for the reality show and then in the studio watch the footage adding commentary

The PD continued

“Of course we’ll hold separate studio events beyond the commentary You’ll find out about those later”

He finished with a peculiar smile that made me uneasy

I’d heard he planned to implement ideas from the proposals we had submitted

After the PD turned back to the cameras I asked

“You guys didn’t submit anything weird did you...?”

“We didn’t submit anything weird I only said I wanted a debate”

“I only said I wanted to work out together...”

“Hyung did you ask to do physical activities”

“It’d be fun if we did it together”

At Jung-hyeon’s casual remark the brothers including me groaned in disgust

“Jung-hyeon please do those things by yourself”

“Right You do it Kim Jung-hyeon”

“Hyung we agreed to only do breathing exercises aside from practice”

“...Huh What Are we already rolling”

When had they started filming

The red light was on on camera number three at the side

The camera director peering through the viewfinder was smiling

Could it be they’d been filming us this whole time

Surely not

The PD with the script under his arm signaled and laughed

“Okay Let’s begin High cue”

We greeted as written on the cue cards

“Hello viewers this is New Black’s first reality show since debut”

“It’s the New Black”

“...welcome”

“Waaah”

We cheerfully clapped seal-style then cheered Since we’d memorized the cue cards as soon as we got them we gestured naturally

“Well then shall we start by introducing ourselves to the viewers?”

“Show us a demo demo”

“Please be careful with your pronunciation Yes I’ll go first Hello I’m New Black’s carisma leader and lead vocalist Woo-joo nice to meet you”

“Waaah”

As my brothers applauded they immediately changed the subject

“When you said charisma your cheek trembled”

“That’s your imagination I don’t tremble”

“Your hands are clenched like chicken feet hyung”

“I naturally like to clench them”

“Oh then do you like omurice”

“No I don’t”

“That’s a shame I do”

Nonsense flew around but this part was actually recommended by the PD and writers

They said diverge into any topic as long as you enjoy chatting

At first I was puzzled wondering if this was really okay but glancing sideways I saw the writers give the okay sign

After each of us finished our self-introductions we started watching the VCR

“Yes today’s prepared footage is The making of kimchi dumplings by Ri-hyeok & Bi-ju after trying everything to eat them”

“Trending is the veteran idol and leader Woo-joo’s reservist experience”

“Destroying rest areas destroy destroy Cute popular maknae Ji-ho and rapper Jung-hyeon’s rest area food tour is here”

“That introduction was very biased”

“Agreed”

“...then let’s watch”

We laughed watching the shameless maknae dodge the question I almost reached out to ruffle his hair but we were too far apart

While the VCR loaded I made a gesture and Ji-ho leaned in to mimic being petted on the head

Ri-hyeok snapped his hand as if cutting a line and Ji-ho pretended to fall behind the sofa eliciting genuine laughter from the crew

“Here it comes here it comes”

The first segment was individual member VCRs

Each produced a self-introduction video and our maknae went first

He sat up in bed looking bleary-eyed and sleepy

Ji-ho Hello here is our dorm I heard this is a self-intro video yes I’m Ji-ho Hyaaaah

At his wide-mouthed yawn the hyungs in the studio gave seal-style applause and cheered

Ji-ho sighed “Please mosaic me”

“It’s fine natural moments are nice to see”

Immediately the video showed Ji-ho bringing the camera to me asleep in the upper bunk

Ji-ho This is Woo-joo hyung He’s beautiful even when sleeping But his personality is really bad

Woo-joo (sleep-talk) Grandma I have lots of money

Ji-ho (covering mouth laughing) Puhuh

I looked at the crew and said “Please edit that yawn in right after”

“Didn’t we say we liked natural moments”

“Real moments change from moment to moment”

Jung-hyeon pretended to know “Ah there’s an idiom for that It’s double standards”

“Well...”

Ri-hyeok started to explain then just brushed back his hair

They’d handle the editing appropriately I’m sure

I saw the writers taking notes so the edit was definitely noted

That term was a bit unsuitable for idol reality

Meanwhile on screen the maknae approached our second brother in the kitchen soaking rice

Ji-ho My daily routine is helping make breakfast as soon as I wake up

“We didn’t know that”

“The hyungs are all still asleep”

“Ji-ho even I didn’t know”

At Bi-ju’s remark the maknae made a finger heart

“Hey why that”

The live reaction wasn’t great

Only after a fierce diss did the VCR continue

Bi-ju What is this reality

Ji-ho Yes please say hello

Bi-ju Hello Ji-ho hyung it’s Bi-ju

Ji-ho Could you tell us about the kimchi fried rice you’re making

He rattled off the recipe and the awkward maknae helped set the breakfast table

Ji-ho Huu!

Crash!

Ji-ho Eek!

Clatter!

Bi-ju ....

Ji-ho Hyung

Bi-ju (trying to stay calm)

Ji-ho I guess you’re not feeling well today

Bi-ju Ji-ho

Ji-ho Yes

Bi-ju Go back to sleep...

We in the studio clapped and laughed

“Bi-ju usually never says unpleasant things but Ji-ho is really something”

“He’s practically achieved a milestone”

“See what happens when you do things you’re not used to”

“No I’m fine”

Ji-ho said to Bi-ju “Hyung please say something Was I helpful”

“Ah yes”

“Be honest hyung in percent”

“About three percent...?”

“Wow three percent That’s like the correct answer rate for a difficult question”

Ignoring the glaring maknae we continued talking

As the member daily life VCRs continued we added commentary at will

These opening videos would shape our initial characters

Then came the much-anticipated main VCR

“Puhahaha”

The scene of the exploding kimchi jar played and we truly fell off the set sofa rolling around

It was completely unexpected

Even the staff watching the video burst into laughter

“Yes laugh laugh”

“We did our best Ri-hyeok”

Only those two stared at the studio ceiling fighting back tears

No wonder

When we returned to the dorm I wondered why there was a kimchi smell lingering Now I know

And grandma Kim Deok-soon’s voice is bound to air

I’ll call her after recording

In the end the VCR ended showing the two giving up on kimchi dumplings and cleaning up

Next was my reservist training video

“Hyung”

Bi-ju’s eyebrows trembled as she asked I’d never seen her look so apologetic

“Was that mascot not popular”

“No...”

“Strange I saw on a blog that people like that mascot when they go to the army”

“That was clickbait”

“Hyung why are you so gullible You should care for yourself not us”

I play-slapped the empty air at the maknae’s nonsense and Ji-ho pretended to shield himself then retaliated with an air slap

“Reflection”

At my brief reply the others gave seal-style applause and laughed while the maknae trembled in frustration

“Do it again I’ll reflect that rainbow”

“I’m not doing it again”

At my teasing he pouted for the camera

He wasn’t really sulking He knew his real sulky face looked ugly

That ended the enlistment and discharge videos then finally Jung-hyeon and Ji-ho’s content played

It was footage from after Animal Friends filming as they toured villages in Yeoncheon-gun

Though it was only a one-night two-day shoot they had grown fond of the locals and I smiled seeing the grandparents on screen

They’re all doing well

Im Soon-hyun That Woo-joo guy...? Oh it’s so heartwarming I felt so good after the massage And Ri-hyeok cleaned the house so my Dosik puppy is acting up and happy You must come again anyway

Hearing that greeting we smiled warmly

The editors intentionally preserved those parts

They were likely riding on Joo Se-han’s buzz

With the village tour over footage of Jung-hyeon and Ji-ho happily roaming the rest area played

They bought snacks at a convenience store tteokbokki and odeng at stalls and tornado potatoes too

They ate so heartily

Just as the footage ended arriving back at the dorm it cut to Ri-hyeok and Bi-ju’s failed kimchi dumpling attempt

Ri-hyeok blinked

“What Why is that camera still on”

“It was off Ji-ho turned it off”

“Hyung didn’t turn it off”

“Not me You were holding the camera”

“This is going to be trouble”

Ri-hyeok looked at me anxiously

Why did he react that way

The carelessly left camera showed our brothers happily eating at the table

All Together Ah we miss Woo-joo hyung

Three seconds passed as the subtitle showed and then as if nothing happened they continued eating deliciously

Bi-ju It’s good

Ri-hyeok As expected food in front of you beats the leader every time Hey Wang Ji-ho stop smacking

Ji-ho But Woo-joo hyung must be eating well right Smack smack in Ri-hyeok’s ear

Jung-hyeon Holding back their cat punches What he must be eating well But can we eat jokbal

I narrowed my eyes at that and my brothers’ flustered reactions were caught on camera

Thus the VCR viewing ended

“Cut Let’s take a short break”

We had a moment of candid conversation with the brothers

After finishing the shoot at the HBS building we headed out for afternoon filming with the crew

In the moving vehicle

“Woo-joo hyung how do you feel now”

“I’m okay”

“He’s sulking I tell you He’s sulking quickly feed him ginseng”

I fished out red ginseng and handed it to him and he sucked it down

Though he only narrowed his eyes for the camera he was secretly enjoying the reaction

After pretending the ginseng worked the brothers seriously debated its effects among themselves

I quietly laughed

We got off with the reality crew and continued filming from Hongdae-ipgu Station

“We are now at the street of youth Hongdae”

“Correction Youth Street is at Jonggak”

“Jung-hyeon take him away”

We shooed away the loyal truth-teller and continued filming

The broadcast camera and five pretty idols together quickly drew a crowd

Of course it was early weekday lunch so not too many

“Wow I know them”

“Right New Black”

I could hear the whispers

Hearing younger friends call us “them” made me happy Yes keep calling us “them”

Passersby paused briefly with “Huh?” then moved on and some stopped with curious eyes studying our faces

Some even clapped and made a fuss together

Broadcast cameras have a strange power

When it’s just us everyone gives “hmm?” then moves on but with cameras people gather with relaxed expressions

“One two three”

“Hello we’re New Black”

In episode one the content was promotion

A kind of broadcast promotion

Effect wasn’t huge but it filled footage and word-of-mouth marketing via SNS was possible

So we walked around near Hongdae greeting passersby with bows and {N•o•v•e•l•i•g•h•t} handed out promotional items

The response was quite good

Those who didn’t know us gave “hmm” at the cameras and those who did reacted either warmly or shyly covering their faces as they accepted items

After three hours touring Sinchon and Hongdae when filming ended my brothers’ stomachs grumbled

“Hyung”

Jung-hyeon whispered loudly

“Food”

“Okay”

Seeing him stamping like an angry bear I thought we should eat something soon

As I looked for a place to eat

“Oh”

I thought of a suitable spot

A gopchang restaurant in Hongdae

Soon we’d start dieting for the fan meeting so I wanted to let them eat something delicious first

The crew said they’d buy us a meal after all the hard work and they all smiled happily

“But there aren’t many customers”

“Maybe that cow illness or something made people avoid it”

I’d heard the place was popular but it was empty

Probably just after break time ended

Then a serving staff saw the cameras and opened her eyes wide

“Are you celebrities”

“Yes we are...”

“Just a moment”

She disappeared into the kitchen and soon said

“The owner heard about the filming and said he’d grill it himself He said it’s on the house”

“Really”

At the word free the director started setting up the camera

Then my brothers asked me

“Hyung maybe Is this...”

“That’s right”

As I said that smiling the door flew open and a sturdy-looking man ran in

“Hahaha”

He greeted us with a hearty laugh

“Oh I heard you were filming... huh?”

Mr Seo Ji-hyung’s smiling face froze when he saw us