In This Life, The Greatest Star In The Universe

“Going home, huh.”

It had been a long, long stay in the States.

Because I collapsed at the end, it got extended by a week, and I can’t tell you how bored I was, stuck in the hospital.

Every time I started thinking about work, the boys would glare and block me.

“Hey hey, look! That’s the work-eyes!”

“Work-eyes!”

“Stop doing ecosystem-eyes and switch back to frozen-fish eyes! Don’t work, just rest!”

By the end I was killing time watching tutorials on MiTube about how to knit.

Time dragged so cruelly, but thankfully, after a week, we were finally on the way home.

Leaving behind Souffle holding banners crammed with “stay strong” messages, we boarded the flight back.

“Hyung, how’s the seat? You okay? If it’s uncomfortable, I brought a neck pillow.”

“How’s your head? If you’ve got a headache, take a Tylenol now. If you wait until it gets bad, it won’t help.”

“Want some gummies?”

“Brrrrrr! Peekaboo!”

If there was one change since the sudden collapse... it was the boys’ relentless attention.

Like the way you stare at a plastic plate that’s gone soft and bendy from the microwave.

I smiled at the look you give a plate where one wrong move sends tteokbokki flying.

“I’m all recovered, so stop making a fuss... If people stare, it’s embarrassing.”

“Eh, so what. It’s first class, there aren’t many people.”

“I’m fine. Everybody, do your own thing.”

I waved them off, shoo-shoo, and they drifted back to their business.

Biju sat beside me and put his earbuds in; Ri Hyuk read a tablet piece titled “Woojoo Hospitalized.”

Jiho and Junhyun chewed snacks, debating which movie to watch.

Ten seconds after everyone “returned to their own thing.”

“......”

“......”

Ssssssslide.

I could feel eyeballs rolling back to me. Like Gollum in the dark, licking his lips at the One Ring.

“Um...”

I couldn’t help laughing.

“I said I’m fine. Really.”

“......”

“Staring makes it worse. Seriously.”

Only then did they start trying, on purpose, not to think about me, and I sighed.

Since I was discharged, Seokhwan hyung, the managers, and our new managers have been tracking my every move.

Anyone would think I’m fragile glass.

“Come on.”

The kids I’m supposed to take care of looking at me like they’re the caretakers—something about that rubs me wrong.

With that thought, I turned to my phone.

When you’re sensitive—takeoff stress and all—web surfing is the best way to distract yourself.

“...Ratings are really good.”

Episode 2 of , ending with Captain Flower’s entrance, had made a huge splash.

The portal-article comments were buzzing.

— And they cut it there?

— HBS, be a dear and drop Ep. 3 now;

— The cliffhanger killed me [laughs]

— Wooju, maker of black history, finally evolved into Madam Black

Who is Madam Black.

I would like to challenge you to a duel.

— I freaked when I saw Wooju in a dress yesterday lol I was admiring how broad his shoulders are and how solid his build is, then I locked eyes with my «N.o.v.e.l.i.g.h.t» husband and we fought.

— I’m the opposite.. my husband admired Wooju and Biju’s faces, then looked at me and sighed. This jerk.

— A variety show that actively encourages marital spats

Mm. My apologies for that one.

Still, seeing compliments about my build made my cheeks quietly lift.

All those hard pull-ups and push-ups and workouts seemed to be paying off.

[We had a kindergarten party today (NewBlack advisory)]

What’s this post?

Curious, I clicked—and there were tons of girls in Biju’s dress and boys in Jiho’s page outfit.

There was a costume party at kindergarten.. my daughter begged for the Wooju dress, so I found a similar one at Dongdaemun and put it on her

I was shocked at drop-off

Half the kids in Biju’s dress, half in Jiho’s page outfit.. the room was plastered with costumes from NewBlack’s medieval variety

Our daughter was the only one who managed the Wooju dress and wore it—her triumphant grin as final victor..

Didn’t realize NewBlack was this popular even among little kids

— [laughs]

— People say NewBlack is hot with kids—guess it’s true

— Celebrity of the toddlers

— The kids are so cute ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

— Back in my day it was Pororo; guess it’s NewBlack now

I felt shy but pleased at the news we’d thrown down the gauntlet at Senior Pororo’s throne.

There were lots of comments saying they couldn’t wait for the next episode, too.

And fans of Taehyun, surprised by his cameo, were ecstatic.

The vibe was practically “Taehyun is king” chanting.

[ding]

“Hm?”

A new message came in.

Hanjo: [Excuse me]

Hanjo: [Having fun all by yourself, I see]

A friend who once dreamed of being a wizard princess sent a jealous text after seeing me as Captain Flower.

I should buy a magic wand as a birthday present.

One that makes sounds.

I figured I’d reply after landing, and was skimming messages one by one when—

“Uh...”

Two of them caught my eye, and my heartbeat spiked.

If I still had that thing from the hospital clipped to my finger, it would’ve gone beep-beep-beep!

Biju’s eyes went round.

“Hyung, what’s wrong?”

“Uh...”

“Did something bad happen?”

“......”

I silently turned the phone and showed him the messages.

They were from a senior girl group at our company who’d been cast in the horror special.

Nayun: [Oppa, thank you]

Nayun: [We’ll do our best at the shoot!]

Ara: [Wooju, thank you so much ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ]

“No problem there?”

“Look at the ones right under that. The last message was seven hours later.”

“Oh.”

Nayun: [When are you back in Korea]

Ara: [Can you talk on the phone?]

Biju burst out laughing as he read.

Until a minute ago I was all fluttery to see my country’s beautiful mountains and rivers again.

...Suddenly I didn’t want to go back to Korea.

After a thirteen-hour flight, we finally landed in Korea.

The moment we hit Incheon Airport, a massive crowd of greeters and press surrounded us.

“Waaaaaaaaa—!”

From the ground-floor arrivals entrance on, even up on the second-floor railings, travelers leaned over the banisters to watch.

Anyone would think we’d come home with Olympic medals.

Wearing sunglasses, shoved this way and that, we headed for the main hall in the middle of the third-floor departures level.

We were set to hold a brief press conference here before leaving.

— Yes. We’ll begin the press conference regarding the “Billboard Music Awards.”

With a professional MC, the presser began.

Flashes popped nonstop as questions poured in about the awards.

“You did a collaboration with Hailey Blue this time. The response in the U.S. was tremendous—how do you feel about that?”

“Do you have concrete plans for U.S. promotions?”

Some were expected.

“We heard you met big stars like Cold Brown and chatted with them. How did it feel to see Hollywood celebs up close?!”

“If you eventually move out of the dorm, who gets to keep the Billboard trophy?”

And some were... what?

“Did you make a lot of friends at the awards?”

“It’s a collab award, but honestly—compared to Hailey Blue, what percentage would you say was your contribution?”

There were also questions that showed us there’s a basement below the floor, and made us grin with gum.

Luckily, after hearing all kinds of weird questions in the States, the Korean reporters’ questions felt positively cozy.

“Cute.”

“At this level, that’s real journalism.”

“Soft and cozy.”

Smiling contentedly, we answered kindly, and the reporters who usually asked odd questions looked flustered for once.

Meanwhile—

“Yes, I’d like to ask about Mr. Wooju’s health. The public has been very concerned... How much have you recovered now?”

“Ah.”

An expected question.

“Yes. It was my first long overseas stay, so between jet lag and everything my condition wasn’t great... but thanks to the fans’ support, I’ve fully returned to normal.”

“Some say the company pushed an excessive schedule.”

“Not at all.”

I shook my head.

“Even before I had issues, the company was the one worrying more about my health.”

I’d heard the CEO was getting flamed hard, and it pinched my chest.

So I stated that part clearly.

The reporter who’d asked nodded, the mic moved to someone else, and I sipped water for my dry throat.

“Kh—”

Maybe a speck of dust went down; I choked.

“Kh!”

“Hyung, you okay?”

“...I’m fine. Kkh.”

As I wiped a trickle of water from my lips with my sleeve, camera flashes erupted like crazy.

Same time.

A middle-aged man curled under a blanket on the couch in the CEO’s office blinked.

“Wooju...”

On TV, a subtitle read [NewBlack Press Conference Live], and Wooju—lively a moment ago—started coughing.

— Kh!

At the sight of water dribbling from his mouth, a gentle smile spread on CEO Park Gyuho’s lips.

“Wooju...”

If you say the company worried and took good care of you, and then you choke... doesn’t that look a little...?

It’s like you said something you didn’t mean.

I appreciate you saying it, but did it have to be followed by that unbelievable little choke...

Sure enough.

Watching the internet, CEO Park chuckled.

— [Photo] “The company really looked after me.. cough! cough!”

— [N-photo] Wooju: “The company really cou— kkh! ㅋ...”

— [Photopic] NewBlack Wooju: “Boss, I’m sorry”

And then a flood of comments.

— Gyuho, man..

— Wooju choked saying what he didn’t mean

— Damn agency ㅂㄷㅂㄷ

— Do you know why Gyuho only fires one shot? Because he doesn’t have two. Ha!

— Seriously though, manage the kids’ condition better. Billboard matters, but health comes first

— The singer’s first-rate, the agency’s third-rate

Tears glistened at the corners of Park Gyuho’s eyes.

“Waaaaaaaa!”

“Uwaaaaaaaa!”

“Home!”

Home is best. Truly.

The moment we arrived—except for Ri Hyuk, who ran straight for the shower—everyone else belly-flopped onto the couch or dove for their beds.

The smell of my soft bed and blankets.

Even if you stay at nice hotels on tour abroad, nothing compares to the warmth of home.

“Fuuuu...”

Thirteen hours ago we were in the U.S., and now it all feels like a dream—did that really happen?

Roll roll.

I texted Grandma Deoksun that we’d arrived safely and took the whole day off.

It felt like I slept all day, but that night we even greeted the neighborhood boys who stopped by after their music show to check on me.

“Oh, you didn’t die?”

Their intense well-wishes brought out a wholesome smile.

“Good to see you looking healthy, hyung. May you live long, see good things and bad.”

“Jealous. When we’re sick it’s nothing but assholes around us.”

“Eat porridge. Porridge. Last time I was sick I had fire-chicken kimchi porridge and got better in one go.”

I told them to cut it out as they scraped together unhelpful advice and get-well lines.

“Just go...”

“Still, after all we’ve been through, if we just leave like this, won’t it feel like we’re cold, heartless bastards?”

“It’s fine. Just go.”

“So what exactly was wrong?”

“You’re asking that now?”

As I shooed them away, Teen Spirit’s leader, Huiyeon, held up a black bag.

“We brought beef from home to celebrate your recovery. It’s Hoengseong hanwoo.”

“Huiyeon! My little brother!”

If you buy meat, you’re my brother, my hyung, family.

We had a heartfelt check-in with the neighbors doing music shows for their comeback and grilled the beef together.

For recovery, beef really is best.

While I did my best mukbang, they gave me the latest on the pop scene.

“The shocker was—doing music shows, there are a ton of occult concepts right now.”

“Occult?”

“Yeah. I thought they’d conspired to coordinate. Newbies and non-newbies alike all doing it.”

Hearing that an out-of-nowhere occult concept was trending, we summoned the wheeled TV and gave an order.

Jiho shouted:

“Search music show!”

— Searching Mussel Box.

When “Mussel Box” came up on MiTube, Teen Spirit and we clapped and burst out laughing.

Enunciating, Ri Hyuk sneered:

“Mu-sic show.”

— Hng-hng-hong. Searching.

When Yeonhu laughed so hard he fell off his chair, Teen Spirit’s members got excited and started stomping him.

Ri Hyuk cleared his throat.

“The recognition is terrible. What even is ‘hng-hng-hong.’ Hng-hng-hong.”

— Music show. Searching.

While our main vocal fumed, today’s music-show clips started to roll.

Just like Teen Spirit said, there were a lot of concepts that seemed to be based on the occult.

One group did a performance like rising from a coffin, symbolizing vampires; another danced a group routine in a spooky mood. Overall, it felt like Halloween showed up out of season.

“...Is that popular now?”

No matter how I looked, it felt niche.

As Biju watched the choreo with his head cocked, Teen Spirit explained.

“Rumor says it’s because of you, hyungs?”

“Huh?”

“Our manager hyung heard it—people were saying it’s you. Because you hyungs suddenly did occult, it became a thing.”

“...?”

Junhyun, basting LA galbi on a buttered pan, spoke up.

“Could it be because of us? We sang ‘Blue Moon’ at the Billboard Music Awards, so maybe everyone rushed out Halloween concepts.”

“Ah! That must be it...?”

But no.

“Junhyun, the timing’s too tight for that. It’s only been two weeks since that stage.”

“Oh. True.”

And “Blue Moon” only had an occult visual concept; musically it’s an R&B track referencing ’80s sound.

So it’s on a different track from those sonically spooky songs.

Then what happened?

While we puzzled, Hahyun, stealing beef off Jiho’s plate, piped up:

“Rumor has it... and it’s just rumor, okay... they say it’s because you hyungs are doing occult.”

“Huh?”

“Aren’t you?”

When he said, if anything, we were the ones doing an occult concept, we shot back:

“We haven’t even decided our next track yet.”

“We were, and then this hyung collapsed.”

“Let’s not say that, Jiho. Anyway, we’ve never even said the letter ‘o’ in ‘occult.’”

“Really? Weird...”

While the only sound on both sides was quiet beef-chewing, we all sank into thought.

Where would we have said we were dropping an occult concept? We keep anything work-related absolutely secret, even with close friends.

We don’t even tell Ms. Kim Deoksun.

While we were all mmm-ing, Biju went “Ah!”

“Maybe that time? The day we had the pre-meeting with the staff at the music show. Last month.”

“Mm?”

“They said it felt like we might do something scary, so... we chatted about horror in the waiting room.”

“Ah... we did.”

When juniors or other staff came by to greet us, we’d scribbled “horror concept” on A4 paper and chatted.

“Eeeh~”

We waved it off.

“No way...”

While we were saying that, a boy-group member with white makeup was languidly acting a vampire on TV.

“......”

“......”

You think no way... and then a doubt creeps in.

I hope it’s not that the rumors started from us doodling on A4—“NewBlack’s doing occult next!”—and then people went “Seize the occult meta!” and stampeded.

If that’s true, it’s the farce of the century.

“Hmmmm...”

Normally we’d chant “Prevent self-importance,” but for some reason it sounded plausible.

Watching the idols dancing on TV, we smiled warmly.

Then asked:

“So did the occult concepts succeed...?”

“Nope. Pretty sure they all flopped. Who’s listening to sexy vampires and Halloween right now.”

At the top-tier idols’ cold analysis, we smiled again.

“Who knows...”

“They’ll figure it out.”

“Yeah.”

Huiyeon asked us:

“So your next track has nothing to do with occult?”

“Mm, we haven’t had the meeting yet so I don’t know... but, nah. Not really our thing.”

“Then only the companies that rushed to preempt off rumors got screwed.”

Teen Spirit burst into delighted laughter—nothing’s more fun than someone else getting screwed.

We smiled quietly, too.

Next day.

After a light breakfast of beef—

We arrived at the Lemon Entertainment building and saw an unfamiliar car out front.

“Whose car is that?”

Manager Jongwan, who’d just gotten a call about something, answered:

“Turns out it’s a patrol car. The company called the police.”

“Huh?”

What now?