Online Game: I Turn Monsters Into Food 10,000x Buffs

"We are NOT selling a fridge! he calls me FATHER! " Rogue yelled, Rogue stood with arms protectively fanned out over the tiny boss monster, the picture of righteous indignation, except his legs wobbled, and the tin cup in his fist was shaking like a maraca.

"He’s my boy! He’s my little guy! My buddy, my pal! Look at him, he’s traumatised! You already ate his king, Liam, you can’t liquidate my son for a scam, AND he knows where a dungeon is!"

"He’s worth at least twenty-five hundred to a necromancer guild, probably..." Liam said, his voice entirely flat and analytical.

The statement came in Liam’s usual affectless deadpan, as if he were discussing the price of lentils or a vaguely interesting cloud.

He stretched out one massive, pale hand, palm up, as if already weighing a sack of coins. "That covers your debt, helps buy us a house together, and probably some gear."

"No!" Rogue shrieked.

Liam stared at him for three solid seconds. The sheer panic in Rogue’s eyes was hilarious, but the rattling tin cup was getting annoying. With a heavy sigh, Liam reached into his inventory slot.

Liam opened his blue system HUD with a squint and a single swipe, heavy finger jabbing at the menu.

Rogue, hypnotised by the movement, flinched with each tap, like the HUD might hurl a lightning bolt any second.

And then, with a mechanical chime, two thousand gold coins materialised in midair and fell in a dense, synchronised mass onto the cobblestones. The collective impact was loud enough to make pedestrians jerk in unison. The coins scattered, clattering musically, and rolled in a widening pool toward the fountain at the square’s centre.

For five seconds, nobody moved. Then Rogue, with the reflexes of a starving ferret, dove forward and began scooping handfuls of gold into his ragged hoodie, the skeleton clinging for dear life to his back.

Rogue’s jaw dropped. The tin cup went entirely still in his hand.

"You owe me," Liam said, pointing a thick finger at Rogue’s nose. "And if I don’t get every single coin back by Friday, I’m taking the skeleton, putting a blender blade in his ribcage, and using him as a manual ice-crusher for the new drink stall."

Rogue didn’t care about the faint. He lunged forward, snatching the gold off the floor near the fountain and hugging it to his chest like a newborn child. "Oh, thank the heavens. Liam, you’re a saint. A shirtless, terrifying saint. I’m going to go pay off her healer bills right now!"

Liam flicked his gaze to Elizabeth, who was massaging her temples as if she could physically squeeze patience into her bloodstream. Elizabeth took a long, shuddering inhale, then whirled on Rogue and jabbed a finger in his face, so close he went cross-eyed.

"If you hand those to her," Elizabeth warned, her voice a blade against his skin, "I’ll skewer you myself. We’re going to the capital. You’re finding this girl. You’re getting your spine back."

"And you," Elizabeth snapped, turning her furious green gaze toward Liam, her cat ears flattening tightly against her pink hair. "Stop throwing thousands of gold around like you’re discarding potato peels! Do you have any idea what the local PK guilds would do if they realised a rogue cook has enough liquidity to fund a private army? They’re already looking for an excuse to jump us, and you’re basically ringing a dinner bell made of solid gold!"

"Let them," Liam muttered, entirely unbothered as he adjusted the shattered wooden planks of his cooking stall under his arm.

"Most of them look like they’d yield high-quality bone meal for the garden we should plant anyway."

Elizabeth’s breath hitched. Why wasn’t he wearing a shirt again? She tried to cross her arms to look imposing, but her gauntlets just pressed against her chest plate, making her look entirely flustered.

"You! You can’t just say unhinged things like that with a straight face," she stammered, ripping her eyes away and staring intently at the cobblestones. "It’s weird, and put a shirt on. It’s a public square."

"It’s hot near the grill," Liam said roughly.

"There is no grill! You pocketed it!" she yelled, her tail swishing violently in pure, panicked distraction.

Meanwhile, Rogue was still on his knees, aggressively shoving the last few rolling gold coins into his pockets. Fridge, having recovered from his brief fainting spell, peeked out from behind Rogue’s hood, his tiny skull vibrating with a sudden burst of desperate leverage.

Fridge squeeked, and his skull rattled, "I will give u the details of the hidden dungeon if you have to help Father Rogue claim his honour back from that wretched woman first! A true son does not let his sire get scammed by a fake healer! We confront her, we take his dignity back, and then I reveal the coordinates to the marbled meat!"

Liam stared at the skeleton, then flicked his gaze to Rogue, who was currently sniffing loudly and wiping his nose on his gold-stuffed sleeve.

"His honour was gone the moment he paid fifty silver for scented paper," Liam deadpanned. "But I want the marbled meat, Deal. Also, Rogue, you do know you have a magical inventory, right?"

"Wait," Elizabeth interjected, shaking her head as she tried to regain her composure. "Before we hunt down any scammers or hidden dungeons, we have to stop by the Iron Hearth guild hall.

Berry sent a message. The guild is moving today to the main city; we should meet up with them first."

"Aero City," Liam repeated, the name rolling off his tongue in a low rumble. "Good. The markets there have better salt."

"Is food the only thing you think about?!" Elizabeth cried, though her cat ears twitched uncontrollably at the deep register of his voice. She glanced sideways at him, her eyes tracing the powerful line of his jaw before she quickly looked away, her lips parted. "Though... I suppose a new kitchen in the main city would mean proper ventilation."

[TOOL TIP: THE CARAVAN CUSTODY]

Status: Hand-Holding Locked

The "Bouncer" Privilege: Liam has successfully reclassified Elizabeth from "Frontline DPS" to "Kitchen Security." By telling her he needs his bouncer close, her [Tsundere Firewalls] have been completely bypassed, locking her into an immediate 99% compliance rate.

The "Aero City" Meta: Moving to the main city means upgrading from a broken wooden stall to a fixed brick-and-mortar storefront. Liam is entirely focused on the availability of [Premium Salt Varieties], completely unaware that his sheer financial liquidity makes him a prime target for high-level PK (Player Killer) syndicates.