Online Game: I Turn Monsters Into Food 10,000x Buffs

Liam folded the omelette over the seasoned rice with the grace of a master, the golden egg wiggling perfectly. He felt a surge of warmth not just from the stove, but from the chat. He actually liked these people. They were his only link to the humanity he’d left behind.

"Thanks for hanging out tonight, guys," Liam said, plating the dish. "I know things are getting harder in the city. If any of you are struggling with the fact that food tastes terrible, I’m selling some of my food at Springs Shop, and if you bring him anything food-shaped, your affinity will go up."

He picked up a knife, the steam hitting his face. Just as he was about to slice through the egg, a faint, warm draft blew through the room.

The iridescent egg had transformed into a shimmering, golden blanket, draped perfectly over a mound of Taro-infused rice. The smell was intoxicating, sweet, savoury, and thick with the scent of raw power.

[CMurdock]: LOOK BEHIND YOU. LOOK BEHIND YOU RIGHT NOW.

[TTstar]: GOD IS REAL, AND HE LIVES IN LIAM’S KITCHEN.

[JudeTraore]: Is that... pink hair? In a towel? I’m donating my entire life savings.

Liam didn’t see the chat. He didn’t hear the water dripping on the stone floor; his internal furnace was roaring, and thick plumes of steam were rolling off his shoulders, swirling around the kitchen like a localised weather event.

"The key to the fold," Liam rumbled to the camera, his voice deep and steady, "is the wrist. If you’re too aggressive, you break the membrane. You have to be gentle."

"LIAM!"

The scream shattered his focus. He turned, spoon in hand, just as Elizabeth realised the glowing holographic window in the corner wasn’t a UI menu; it was a live broadcast.

Her pink ears were pinned back so hard they practically disappeared into her wet hair. The towel was tucked precariously high, and in the steam-filled room, she looked like a vision of a goddess.

"You... you’re streaming?!" she shrieked, her face turning a red that rivalled the serpent’s blood.

"The fans wanted a progress report," Liam said, holding out a spoonful of the golden Omurice with total, terrifying calm. "Here. The iron content will help with your recovery, open up, say ahhhh."

"I AM NOT OPENING UP! TURN IT OFF!"

Elizabeth lunged for the floating ’End Stream’ icon. Liam, thinking she was attacking his hard-earned meal, stepped back.

They collided. Elizabeth’s foot slipped on a patch of condensation, and she tackled him straight to the floor.

The camera angle shifted as the window tilted. The last thing the 500 viewers saw was Elizabeth sprawled directly over a shirtless, steaming Liam, her towel barely holding on for dear life as they tumbled into the shadows.

[STREAM STATUS: ENDING... ERROR]

[Stressed_prazai_]: NO COME BACK I NEED THIS!

[Daisycatt]: I’m refreshing, but it isn’t working!

[AnisStarr]: THIS IS WORSE THAN GETTING STUCK IN THE GAME... :(

[JudeTraore]: If the stream doesn’t come back up in five seconds, I’m storming the residential district.

The screen went black, but the room was far from quiet.

"Get... off... the... food," Liam grumbled, pinned to the floorboards. His analytical brain was still running numbers.

Weight: 52kg.

Heart rate: Elevated.

Threat level: Negligible.

Arousal level: [REDACTED].

"I don’t care about the food!" Elizabeth yelled, her face inches from his, her chest heaving. "Do you have any idea what they’re saying out there? They think we’re... they think you’re ’screwing’ the GM of the Iron Hearth, and now they think you’re doing the same to me!"

Liam blinked, looking at her with genuine, confused eyes.

"Why would I screw you? I don’t even have a hammer or nails in the kitchen. If your armour is broken, take it to Bronn."

Elizabeth stared at him, her jaw dropping. The silence stretched for three agonising seconds. "NOT THAT TYPE OF SCREWING, YOU IDIOT!" she roared, grabbing his collar.

"TURN IT OFF AND SHUT UP!"

Elizabeth was trembling, not from cold, but from sheer, unadulterated mortification. She was pinned against his chest, her damp skin pressing against his hot torso. The contrast was dizzying: her cool, floral scent meeting the heavy, savoury aroma of the Serpent Omurice and the raw, radiating heat of Liam’s body.

"Liam, you absolute... tactical disaster!" Elizabeth hissed, her hands clutching his shoulders. She could feel the vibration of his heart steady, slow, like a drum in the deep. It infuriated her that while her own heart was doing a frantic 180 BPM, he stayed as cool as a block of ice despite literally steaming.

"Your grip strength is improving," Liam observed, his voice vibrating through her chest. "But you’re crushing the garnish. It’s a waste of high-tier nutrients."

"Forget the nutrients!" She shifted, trying to get her knees under her, but the movement only caused the towel to slip further.

Liam’s hand came up, not to touch her, but to instinctively catch the falling fabric and tuck it back into place with the same clinical precision he used to bone a fish.

The touch was brief, hot, and entirely too close to her skin. Elizabeth gasped, her tail lashing out and knocking a jar of spices off the counter.

The "Error" on the stream window was flickering. Hestia, sensing the massive spike in "Divine Favour" (and her own wallet), was desperately trying to reboot the feed.

"The rumours and the guilds. They think you’re a player, Liam," Elizabeth groaned, burying her face in the crook of his neck to hide from the imaginary cameras.

"I am a Chef," Liam replied, his eyes tracking the unconscious assassin on the floor. "And a Vanguard. If they want to label me a ’player,’ they should check my stats. My Charisma is average. My Stamina, however..." he smirked, breathing deeply into her neck.

That sent a shiver down her spine,

He let the sentence hang. Not on purpose, he’d been about to say his Stamina was his highest stat and that people consistently undervalued endurance builds, which was a legitimate tactical complaint he’d had since the start.

But Elizabeth’s grip on his shirt tightened. Her knuckles pressed into his chest, five small points of contact burning through the fabric. The flush on her face deepened from pink to red, crawling down her neck and disappearing beneath her armour collar.

He breathed in. Strawberry and steel, closer now. The muscle along his jaw flexed.

"Your stamina... what?" she said flatly, alluringly and dangerously.

[Tool Tip]:

The "Caught on Camera" Debuff 𝐟𝗿𝐞𝚎𝚠𝐞𝚋𝕟𝐨𝚟𝐞𝕝.𝕔𝕠𝚖

Condition: Bare skin + Live Stream + Misunderstood Context.

Effect: Your "Infamy" and "Charm" stats are currently fighting for dominance.

Note: You just fed a Legendary Egg to yourself while a Cat-kin stood behind you in a towel. Every male player in a 50-mile radius now wants to be you, and every Guild Master wants to tax you.