Online Game: I Turn Monsters Into Food 10,000x Buffs

A slice for Midnight. She took it. Looked at it, then looked at him, and looked away.

A slice for Noir...

A scream erupted behind him.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!" Noir’s staff was up, crackling with energy, pointed directly at Rogue and the cage behind him. Her whole body shook. "ROGUE, WHY IS THERE A BOSS ON A LEASH IN A CAGE? WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!"

"HUH?! YOU THINK I DID THIS?!" Rogue spun around, offended and opportunistic in equal measure.

"ACTUALLY YES, IT WAS ME. I SUBDUED THE BOSS SINGLE-HANDEDLY. YOU CAN THANK ME BY GOING ON A DATE..."

Noir gave him a look that could curdle milk through a screen. Then she turned to Liam, staff still raised, seeking an actual answer from an actual person.

Liam looked at the Mini-Lich in its cage. Looked back at Noir. His expression didn’t change.

"He’s our new refrigerator until I decide to eat him, I think."

"AAAAAHHHH!" The Mini-Lich thrashed against its cage bars. "YOU CAN’T EAT ME! I’M MOSTLY BONE! THERE’S NO NUTRITIONAL VALUE!"

"Bone broth," Liam said flatly.

The Lich went quiet, processing.

Elizabeth snorted. Her grip on Liam’s wrist tightened, a quick squeeze. Berry covered her mouth with one hand, her tail doing that happy wag again.

Liam looked around the room. The frozen chamber stretched in multiple directions, corridors branching off into blue-black darkness. Their full party was here, but the dungeon was massive, and other groups had split earlier.

"Now, where is everyone else?"

Midnight popped up beside him, closer than expected, her shoulder near his bicep. "Not a clue, to be honest!" She grinned, small but real. "But we’re alive."

Liam looked down at her. At the frost melting in her hair, at the way she stood near him like it was the safest place in the dungeon.

"Yeah," he said. "We are."

He pulled another slice of serpent from his inventory. Held it up to Noir, who still had her staff trained on the cage.

"Eat, you’ll need the frost resistance for what’s ahead."

Noir took it without lowering her staff. Bit into it sideways, glaring at the Lich.

"If that thing breaks free," she said through a mouthful, "I’m blaming you."

"Fair," Liam said.

The Mini-Lich rattled its cage. "I WILL REMEMBER THIS INDIGNITY FOR ETERNITY."

"Cool," Liam said. "Eternity’s a long time to be a fridge."

The Mini-Lich’s cage rattled again, more violently this time. Liam glanced at it, then at the dark corridor ahead. The creature’s panic seemed to spike in that direction.

"That way," Liam said, pointing toward the tunnel where the Lich’s bony fingers were clawing against the bars. "Boss room."

"How do you know?" Elizabeth asked, her pink ears twitching as she surveyed the identical-looking passages.

"Fridge is scared." Liam nodded toward the thrashing Lich. "Probably means something bad’s that way."

The creature let out a wail that echoed through the icy halls. "YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS! I AM NOT YOUR GUIDE!"

Liam hoisted the cage and started walking. The others followed, exchanging glances but staying close. The Lich’s rattling grew more intense with each step, its hollow eye sockets fixed on the darkness ahead.

Twenty minutes of winding through frost-covered corridors later, the temperature dropped sharply. The walls transitioned from ice to black stone carved with ancient runes that pulsed with faint blue light. The Lich had stopped rattling entirely now, huddled in the corner of its cage, trembling.

"We’re close," Liam said, his breath forming clouds in the frigid air.

The tunnel opened into a massive circular chamber with a domed ceiling. A massive frozen throne sat at the far end, surrounded by pillars of ice. But it wasn’t empty.

Scattered across the chamber floor were bodies, or what Liam initially thought were bodies. As they approached, he realised they were players, still alive but barely. Frostbite covered their limbs, health bars hovering in the red.

"My guild," Berry whispered, recognising them immediately, and rushing over to them to check if they were ok.

Mirra pushed past them, her hands already glowing with healing magic. "Oh, this is perfect," she murmured, a predatory grin spreading across her face. "So much free experience just sitting here."

Liam scanned the chamber, and his eyes landed on a familiar figure propped against a pillar, Johan, the guild’s third in command, his shield cracked and his armour half-frozen to his skin.

"Johan," Liam called out.

The big man’s head lifted weakly. "Liam? That you?"

Liam reached into his inventory and pulled out a strip of dried serpent meat. He tossed it through the air in a perfect arc. Johan caught it on instinct, looked at it for a moment, then shrugged and took a bite.

"Tastes like... chicken?" Johan said, his health bar visibly ticking upward, "Oh, I’m no longer cold."

Liam nodded, satisfied. He turned to the other survivors, mostly women huddled together for warmth, and pulled out his remaining taro buns from earlier.

"Food," he said simply, distributing them among the shivering players.

One of the women took the bun with trembling hands. "Thank you," she whispered. "We thought we were done for."

"Ruby-eyed guild men?" Liam asked, looking around. "They were with you?"

The woman nodded weakly. "They ran when things got bad. Said something about finding the ’real treasure’ before heading deeper into the dungeon.

Elizabeth’s ears flattened. "Bastards."

Liam’s gaze drifted to the throne at the far end of the chamber. Something was forming there, a swirling vortex of frost and shadow. The temperature plummeted further.

"Boss incoming," he said, setting the Lich’s cage down and drawing his weapon.

The Mini-Lich pressed itself against the far side of the cage. "I TOLD YOU THIS WAS A BAD IDEA! HE’S GOING TO KILL US ALL!"

"Probably," Liam agreed, watching as the vortex intermingle into a towering figure of pure ice and darkness. "But I’m hungry, and I need better loot for my cooking set."

The boss rose to its full height, fifteen feet of crystalline fury, with eyes like frozen stars and a crown of jagged ice spikes. It let out a roar that shook the entire chamber, sending icicles crashing from the ceiling.

"Everyone who can fight, get ready," Liam said, his voice carrying across the chamber, "and someone watch my fridge."

[TOOL TIP]:

Status: Party Reunited / Casual War-Crimes in Progress.

The "Fridge" Logic: Liam has officially diagnosed the Lich’s fear as a "Boss Radar." If the refrigerator is vibrating, you’re going the right way.

The Hero Arc (Cooked Style): Liam didn’t save those players to be a hero, he fed them because a dead customer can’t pay,