Online Game: I Turn Monsters Into Food 10,000x Buffs

"AHHH, precious fire, I should use this to cook."

Liam was already pulling ingredients from his bag. Taro buns. He could slow roast them over the remnants of the trap mechanism still smouldering against the stone floor. His fingers worked fast, arranging them on a flat piece of broken tile.

"If these get more heat, the morale buff should increase. Maybe ten per cent. Maybe fifteen if the char hits right..."

"LIAM, YOU IDIOT!" Elizabeth’s boot stomped the flame flat. Sparks scattered across the dungeon floor and died.

He stared at the blackened tile, then at her.

"Damn, Elizabeth." He exhaled through his nose. "That was a perfect cooking temperature, but fair. You’re right, we need to find everyone before we make taro roasted buns."

She didn’t move. The pink of her hair caught what little light remained in the corridor, and her cat ears pressed back not in anger. In hesitation. Her grip tightened on the hilt of her oversized sword, knuckles pale.

"That’s not what I meant."

Her gaze dropped to the floor between them.

"I like just being with you like this." The air in the corridor changed. Liam’s chest compressed, not pain, not panic, but a squeeze behind his ribs that made his breath catch short. Like his body understood before his brain could process.

Yeah. He liked the sound of that, too.

He reached out. Tucked a loose strand of pink hair behind her ear, his knuckle brushing the soft fur at the base of her cat ear.

"Then stay." He pulled his hand back. Flexed his fingers once.

His HUD was still disconnected. No stream. No chat scrolling with their usual chaos. No Rogue scouting ahead. No Mirra freezing the room into a tactical advantage. Just him, a girl who had declared war on every bucket in this dungeon, and a bag of cinnamon rolls slowly going stale.

Also...where the fuck was Hestia?

A burst of golden light exploded between them. Elizabeth stumbled back. Liam didn’t flinch.

"HELLO IS THIS THING ON??? DIVINE TECH SUPPORT HERE!"

The orb of radiance pulsed violently, buzzing like a broken speaker.

"OMG MY POOR LITTLE BUTCHER I HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO WATC-CONTACT YOU FOR HOURS. FOR SOME REASON I COULDN’T SEE YOU, AND THAT ONLY HAPPENS WHEN..."

A sensation flooded his body, not heat exactly, more like being scanned by sunlight given sentience. The feeling moved down his chest, across his arms, and lingered at his collar where his shirt hung open. Like Hestia was checking him over with divine fingers.

"OH, MY GOD. LITTLE BUTCHER, HOW DID YOU HIDE THIS FROM ME?"

The orb spun faster.

"YOU GOT DOWN AND DIRTY LIKE YOUR WOLF INSTINCTS FINALLY TOLD YOU TO? I DON’T REALLY AGREE ON THE SETTING BUT!"

"Hang on." Liam held up one hand. "Hang on, what do you mean? We didn’t have sex."

Elizabeth made a sound behind him, half choke, half squeak. He didn’t turn around.

"And why couldn’t you contact me?"

"WHAT-WHAT? NO SEX?" The orb dimmed slightly, then flared brighter. "I MEAN THAT’S GOOD. NOT HERE AT LEAST. I’LL HAVE TO SEND YOU SOME CANDLES... NO NO NO, NOT THE TIME FOR THIS CHATTER. WHAT DID HAPPEN? I NEED TO KNOW. I’M ON THE EDGE OF MY THRONE."

The golden sphere vibrated with barely contained gossip energy.

"YOUR POOR LITTLE KITTEN OVER THERE, SHE’S CLEARLY HOOKED. I CAN’T BELIEVE I MISSED IT." A conspiratorial pulse. "YES, LITTLE WOLF. WHENEVER YOU ENGAGE IN... YOUR EARTHLY DESIRES, I CANNOT SEE OR WATCH... UNLESS YOU LET ME?"

Every muscle in Liam’s body seized.

No, absolutely not. Never, not in this lifetime or any reincarnation after.

He coughed so hard his knees buckled. His foot caught on the edge of a broken tile, and he pitched sideways.

"Liam!"

"Being weird how?"

"You don’t want to know."

Liam straightened up. Elizabeth’s hand was still on his arm. He covered it with his own, large palm engulfing her smaller fingers and squeezed and didn’t let go.

Her breath hitched. He could feel it through the contact point, the tiny stutter of her ribcage.

He should release her hand. Liam knew that, but he wouldn’t.

The golden glow of Hestia’s presence receded, pulling back into the corridor walls until only a faint amber tint remained.

Gone for now.

"I’m fine. But I’m hungry, I’m tired, and I really, really hate snakes." He shifted his weight, feeling her warmth through the gaps in his armour. It was a grounding heat. ​Focus, Liam. You can think about her skin later. I’m still 5000% done with this day. But as long as she’s within thirty meters and not kicking furniture... I guess I can handle a few more snakes.

Rogue rounded the corner at full volume.

"THREE, Three separate women. Back to back, I’m not even exaggerating." He was walking backward, gesturing at Berry with both hands, chest puffed out like a bird trying to attract a mate. "and get this, Elizabeth confessed to me yesterday. Full on, no holding back said she couldn’t resist."

Berry’s tail flicked. She looked past him.

Elizabeth stood in the middle of the corridor, her fingers threaded loosely through Liam’s. Her grip had tightened the second Rogue’s voice carried around the stone wall, not pulling away, but pressing closer. The pad of her thumb dragged across his knuckle. Liam felt it. The small increase in pressure. The way her hand fit against his palm was smaller than he expected every time. A faint trace of strawberry from her shampoo drifted up when she shifted her weight.

Rogue stopped mid-gesture, his gaze dropped to their hands.

One eyebrow went up. 𝙛𝓻𝒆𝓮𝒘𝙚𝙗𝒏𝙤𝙫𝓮𝒍.𝓬𝒐𝙢

"Uh."

Elizabeth’s face went flat. "I did not."

"You literally..."

"You’re not even my type." She said it like she was reading a grocery list.

Rogue’s whole body deflated. His arms dropped. His mouth opened, closed, opened again. "What do you mean I’m not your? I have a jawline, look at this jawline, AND I’M KOREAN, WOMEN LOVE KOREANS!"

Berry tilted her head. "It’s average."

"It’s CHISELED." Liam felt something sharp flicker behind his eyes and, brief, hot, dangerous, then he actually looked at Rogue. The puppy-dog energy. The seal-clapping enthusiasm. The absolute lack of self-preservation instinct.

Right. Not worth it.

Berry laughed on cue.

But she’d already caught it that half-second of cold behind Liam’s smile.

She could practically smell it.

[TOOL TIP: THE "DIVINE TECH SUPPORT" INTERVENTION]

Status: Busted / Blessed / Absolute Vibe-Kill.

The "Divine" Filter: Hestia revealed that the System’s "parental controls" kick in whenever Liam engages in "Earthly Desires." Essentially, the Goddess gets blacked out whenever things get spicy, which explains her current state of high-velocity gossip energy.