Online Game: I Turn Monsters Into Food 10,000x Buffs

"Fine. I have something to show you anyway." She reached into her inventory and produced a small iron key, setting it on the counter with a definitive click. "House deed, down the road from the guild hall, just two blocks, I acquired it just now for you, and them."She paused. "I thought it might suit you as the kitchen faces east, with Good light, and a level three hearth."

Liam picked up the key. Turned it over.

"For the toast?" he asked.

Berry’s jaw tightened, "For whatever, and you’ll need to stop by the letting agency first."

"I don’t need a letting agency. I have the key," Liam said, examining the small metal object between his fingers.

Berry sighed, grabbing a piece of parchment from her desk. "No, you need to register ownership and sign paperwork. The system is..." She paused, sketching quickly. "Here’s the map."

Liam looked at the crude drawing, a collection of squiggly lines and what appeared to be a building labelled with an X. "This isn’t helpful."

Midnight transformed from her dragon form in a shimmer of light, now standing beside him as a human girl with baby blue hair and wide eyes. She took his hand, her fingers interlacing with his. "Midnight will help find it!"

Elizabeth cleared her throat, stepping closer. "I’m coming too." She stood on Liam’s other side, her pink cat ears twitching slightly as she stared straight ahead, her hand brushing against his before taking it with deliberate casualness. "For protection."

From the corner of the guild hall, Mirra and Rogue suddenly noticed the group moving toward the exit. They scrambled up from their position on the floor, where they’d been examining whether Fridge would break if dropped. Well, Mirra was crying, and Rogue was crying.

"Hey! Where are you going?" Mirra called, adjusting her dress. "Are we doing something?"

Rogue brushed dust from his cloak. "We’ve been forgotten again."

Liam turned, still holding both women’s hands. "We’re getting a house."

"A HOUSE?" Mirra nearly shouted, her voice echoing through the guild hall. "For all of us?"

"Not all of us," Elizabeth muttered, her grip on Liam’s hand tightening.

"Can we come?" Rogue asked, already moving toward them. "We’ve been sitting here for hours."

Liam shrugged. "If you want."

The group made their way through the bustling streets of the city, following Berry’s terrible map.

The white-haired albino towered above most players, his fluffy ears twitching occasionally as he tried to make sense of the directions. Midnight’s human form stayed close, her expression serene despite the chaos around them.

"It should be... here," Liam said, stopping before a building that didn’t match any of Berry’s descriptions.

"That’s a blacksmith," Elizabeth pointed out, her tail swishing with irritation. "Let me see that map."

After several wrong turns and increasingly frustrated sighs from Elizabeth, they finally located a modest building with a sign reading "Letting Agency" in ornate letters. Inside, a commotion was already underway.

A massive cow woman dominated the small office space, her horns nearly scraping the ceiling. She had rich brown hair and curvy features, and enormous breasts that strained against her simple dress. Her tail swished angrily as she argued with a Ram man.

"You can’t just change the rental agreement mid-lease!" she bellowed, her voice surprisingly melodic despite her fury. "What am I, a dairy cow? Do I look like I’m made of milk?"

Liam’s stomach growled loudly. "She has milk."

"Not the time," Elizabeth whispered, though her cheeks flushed pink.

Liam watched as the ram-horned man gestured wildly at the letting agent, his voice growing louder with each passing moment. The woman behind the desk crossed her arms, her face flushed with irritation.

"I’m telling you, it’s a perfectly reasonable question!" the ram man exclaimed, his horns catching the light as he leaned forward. "Can you make milk yet? I heard breast milk tastes good. Your breasts are HUGE, imagine what that would be like in a potion!"

Liam’s ears perked up at the mention of ingredients. He moved to stand beside the ram man, nodding once. The ram man nodded back, apparently taking this as solidarity before continuing his tirade.

"Yes, actually, can you?" Liam asked, his tone entirely practical. "Can I have some right now? I’d make cheese, anything you want. You seem to have a lot." His hand reached out instinctively, drawn by the prospect of a new culinary component.

Elizabeth’s palm came down hard on Liam’s wrist. "BAD LIAM NO!"

Midnight sidled up next to him, her dragon tail wagging excitedly behind her. "Midnight wants milk!"

Elizabeth face-palmed so hard Liam heard the slap of skin against skin.

The letting agent’s face turned a deep crimson. She coughed into her fist. "YES, I can make milk, but THIS IS NOT HOW YOU ASK ME FOR IT."

The ram man turned to Liam, his expression shifting from frustration to curiosity. "Hey, I’m Jace. You cook? Oh my goddd I miss real food, I’m an alchemist archer!"

Liam studied the ram man’s face, something clicking into place.

"Wait. You were at the serpent fight."

Jace’s eyes widened slowly, then shot to Elizabeth, taking in the pink cat ears. "Oh, my god. You’re the guy who was mud wrestling the cat."

Elizabeth’s tail went rigid.

"I felt someone watching from the tree line," Liam said, mostly to himself.

"I was trying to figure out if you were an NPC," Jace said. "You were seasoning it, mid-fight. Who seasons a boss?"

"Midnight thinks master’s food is good food," Midnight chimed in, still clinging to his arm.

Elizabeth groaned. "Great, another one."

[TOOL TIP]:

Status: Harem Expansion: Real Estate Locked

The Lactation Component Auditing Incident: Liam witnessing a massive cow-woman arguing about a lease and immediately demanding her raw biological fluids for cheese production has triggered an [Emergency Face-Palm Event] from Elizabeth. The system notes that Liam’s brain is so aggressively hardwired into culinary utility that he cannot distinguish between a distressed mammalian demi-human and a high-tier grocery shelf.

The "Mud Wrestling" Flashback Penalty: Jace the Ram Man identifying Liam as "the guy who was mud wrestling the cat" has inflicted a [Severe Dignity Shatter] on Elizabeth. Her tail locking into absolute rigidity confirms that her past tactical failures are now public domain among the server’s archer class.

The Alchemical Confectionery Accord: The system warns that teaming up with a stray alchemist who watched Liam season a live serpent mid-encounter will likely result in illegal dairy-based potion experiments. Elizabeth’s quiet realisation of "Great, another one" has officially been logged as her acceptance of the endless, multiplying horde.