Online Game: I Turn Monsters Into Food 10,000x Buffs

"So," Rogue said, his voice dripping with an ungodly amount of smug satisfaction as his boots squelched in the fresh soot. He slowly guided his flapping, braying monstrosity forward. Barnaby took a few clumsy, hopping steps into the ash zone, his oversized donkey ears flopping with rhythmic, mocking thuds. "Dibs, huh?"

Jace instantly lost his mind, letting out a bark of laughter so loud his shadow horse actually flinched. "He tried to feed it! Oh my god, he tried to host a casual backyard barbecue for a localised extinction event! Where’s the alpha energy now, Huh, Liam? Where’s the perfect sear?"

Elizabeth hurried forward, her pink cat ears twitching with panic before she realised he was completely unharmed. She stopped at the edge of the ash circle, crossing her arms, her cheeks flushing as she tried to look stern despite the massive, teasing smile breaking across her face.

"A walking wood-fire hearth, was it?" she purred, mimicking his flat tone from earlier. "It looked like it wanted to use you as the kindling. I told you they were dangerous, idiot."

Liam stood there, running a soot-covered hand through his white hair, which was now sticking up in several highly disorganised, structurally compromised directions. He looked at the distant, smoking mountain range, then at his party, and let out a long, slow, defeated exhale. He couldn’t look like an absolute clown here. He had a reputation to uphold. He couldn’t embarrass himself further in front of Elizabeth and Midnight. ’My girls,’ his inner voice whispered, defeated exhale. He couldn’t look like an absolute clown here. Not in front of Elizabeth and Midnight.

His eyes drifted over them. Despite the soot, the chaos, and the literal near-death experience, they looked incredible. Elizabeth’s tight leather armour perfectly framed the ridiculous, soft curve of her hips, and her pink cat ears were twitching in a way that made him remember exactly how loud she’d moaned in the tub, while Midnight was just standing there with her petite, translucent-skinned body, her tiny wings fluttering in the warm air while her large tits practically bounced with every breath. They were both so incredibly hot it didn’t even make sense.

A sudden, aggressive warmth rushed up Liam’s neck, his face flushing a bright, uncharacteristic crimson as his brain completely stalled out on a mental replay of the bathtub’s wet, squelching symphony.

SMACK.

A hand descended upon the back of his head. Liam stumbled half a step forward, blinking away the mental image of silk-soft cleavage.

He whirled around to find Jace standing there, rubbing his palm and staring at him with a mixture of profound concern and intense, investigative curiosity.

"Dude, wtf are you thinking about right now?" Jace asked, squinting hard. "Your face went completely red. Are you thinking about soup? Chicken? A highly specific gravy recipe? Wait... Mirra??? Nice, dude. Respect. She’s a solid choice, but maybe don’t do it while standing in a literal radioactive crater."

Mirra, who was peacefully brushing her silver mare’s mane thirty feet away, didn’t even look up. "If he is thinking about me, I might eat him this time," she said, her voice entirely flat, but she was blushing slightly.

"I wasn’t thinking about Mirra," Liam grunted, clearing his throat and wiping a layer of soot off his cheek. He needed to lock in. His dignity was currently operating at a net-negative deficit, and he had a job to do. If he couldn’t tame a volcano.

His dignity was currently operating at a massive deficit. If he couldn’t tame a giant fire horse, he could at least do what he always did to vent his frustration.

He needed his chat, probably, or some sort of cheat.

"Alright," Liam muttered, rolling his shoulders and adjusting his pack. "Let’s be serious for a second, it’s time to clock in."

With a swift mental command, Liam pulled up his System stream panel. The translucent blue feed flared to life in his peripheral vision, automatically showing his perspective. He didn’t even bother setting a title; the System automatically updated it based on his recent actions: [Stream Live: Failed Taming Attempt - Infernal Dread-Charger].

Within a few seconds, the viewer counter ticked up, hovering at a modest, humble 480 viewers. The chat box began scrolling at a manageable pace, free of the massive crowd noise but filled with the dry, cutting observations of his regular audience.

Liam glanced at the sidebar and looked at the chat.

[Chronos_Void]: Offering a raw steak to a living volcano. Brilliant tactical mind on display here.

[JudeTradore]: The sheer confidence required to walk up and say ’pspsps’ to a "horse" monster is why I stay subscribed.

[Samantech3364]: Honestly, I’m so surprised he hasn’t tried to eat it, has he? Did we miss that?

[Daisycattt]: Midnight looks like she’s about to cry, and somehow that’s the most attractive thing I have ever seen. The wings aren’t helping either.

[Ikonokar]: What mount can he get next? Horse girl? Are there horse girls? bro if there are, my life is saved.

[Cmurdock]: Look at the donkey in the background. Its wings are flapping, but its feet are dragging in the dirt. I love it, let me buy it.

[Mahesvar4]: Where is this? asking for a friend.

Liam’s left eye twitched slightly. He leaned away from the party, speaking in a low, deadpan murmur to the invisible floating camera drone near his ear.

"The creature’s behaviour is clearly overtuned," he muttered, keeping his voice flat. "The caloric density of a tier-four flank steak should have bypassed the standard aggro threshold. It’s a systemic issue with this new world, nothing more."

[Chronos_Void]: Copium...

[Jimmy_Shim]: okokok if it’s so easy, then do it next horse you see, go tame it.

Liam immediately minimised the chat before his blood pressure could spike any further.

Rogue was currently bouncing up and down on Barnaby, trying to look imposing, but the donkey’s spine was so short that every time the massive, feather-duster wings flapped, Rogue’s knees violently clipped the surrounding bushes.

"Look," Liam grunted, forcing his voice back into its usual commanding tone. "The fire horse is a long-term resource investment. We’ll track it down later when I have a proper containment vessel. For now, Jace has a void mount, Rogue has... whatever that anatomical disaster is, and I’m walking. Let’s head east toward the river. We need coffee, and we still have a target to hunt."

"Actually," Jace said, sliding casually off his sleek, liquid-midnight stallion. The beast’s glowing blue eyes tracked his movements with creepy obedience.

"I think the real takeaway here is that you tried to call dibs on a natural disaster and got completely handled by livestock. Chat saw it. We saw it, hell even the Fridge saw it."

Fridge the Lich slowly raised a single, bony finger from beneath its dark robe, pointed it directly at Liam’s soot-covered chest, and let out a dry, rattling clicking noise from its jaw that translated perfectly to a deadpan point-and-laugh.

"See? Even the undead think you’re a fraud," Rogue cheered, leaning forward on his mount. "Barnaby, show him what a real leader looks like!"

Barnaby chose that exact second to let out a deafening, grinding "EE-AWHH!" that shook the grass, immediately followed by a massive, violent sneeze that sprayed a fresh layer of viscous mucus straight onto Rogue’s left thigh.

"Son of a!" Rogue hissed, frantically tearing at a handful of dry winter grass to wipe his pants.

Elizabeth walked up right beside Liam, her shoulder lightly brushing against his armour. The cool morning wind caught her pink hair, her cat ears giving a soft, rhythmic flick as she looked up at his soot-stained face. Her green eyes were bright with that sharp, wild mischief that always meant she was about to make his life way more complicated.

"Hey," Elizabeth said softly, her pink eyes moving over the soot on his face with an expression that was almost careful. She reached up and picked a small piece of charred debris from his white hair, examined it briefly, and then let it fall. "For future reference," she added, her voice dropping just slightly, "I carry flint."

Liam looked down at her, his jaw tightening. Before he could even formulate a smart comeback, Jace snorted, leaning heavily against his unstrung bow with his usual unearned arrogance.

"Yeah, listen to the cat, man," Jace said, throwing a sarcastic smirk Liam’s way.

"Please," Rogue chimed in, crossing his arms and puffing out his chest from atop Barnaby. He adjusted his leather armour, trying to look like a god-tier warlord despite his knees nearly hitting his chin on the short donkey. "If I had taken the initiative, that stallion would be broken and under my command right now. You guys completely lack raw alpha presence."

From thirty feet away, Mirra stopped brushing her silver mare’s mane just long enough to throw them a weary, knowing look. Despite having an undeniably mature, grounded aura, she looked effortlessly stunning, with flawless skin, elegant posture, looking barely twenty-five as she silently judged the men’s collective delusion.

Before Liam could reassert his command, a soft, pale force of pure obsession slammed directly into his ribs.

[Tool Tip]:

Status: Stream Viewers: 480 (Feral)

The Arch-Lock Rizz Transmission: Liam casually sliding his hand into the tight curve of Elizabeth’s lower back to execute a deep, unhurried kiss live on camera has triggered a critical hype surge across the 480-viewer pool. The system notes that completely deflating her exploded, jealous cat tail while the chat spams a high-school locker room stream of "W" characters has successfully transformed a failed taming stream into an absolute alpha flex.

The Mature Stirrup Calculus: Mirra, attempting to preserve her flawless, 25-year-old grounded aura by intensely studying a random saddle buckle, has introduced the [Flustered Maternal Metric]. Despite her level voice offering to let Fridge dismantle Liam’s ribs, her slight blush confirms that witnessing the immediate dual-harem lockdown has entirely compromised her stoic defence.