Online Game: I Turn Monsters Into Food 10,000x Buffs

Spring saw the taro root before Liam had fully pulled it from the satchel and made a sound that was not appropriate for a market stall.

The root was the size of a man’s forearm, pulsing with faint earthy mana, its iridescent skin catching the shop light in a way that made it look less like a vegetable and more like something that had opinions about being harvested. Spring poked it with one finger, watched it shimmer, and his hands started shaking.

"You actually killed the Lake Boss," Spring said, reaching for his weighing scale with the reverence of a man handling something sacred. "A single slice of this would start a bidding war between every guild in Aeros. The mana density in the fibres alone is worth a hundred gold. They’re too scared to even find the path to the water, and you just walked back in here with it under your arm."

"Don’t sell it," Liam said. "Eat it. I need you at peak performance for the armour logistics." He leaned against the counter, and the dry glint that appeared in his red eyes approximately twice a week made its appearance. "I was going to bring you a Serpent’s Claw for grip strength, but then I remembered you spend all day in here playing with your tools already. Didn’t want to encourage the foot thing on top of the work obsession."

The silence that followed had a specific quality.

Spring’s face moved through several colours before settling on something in the tomato family. He pulled the taro root to his chest and held it there like a shield. "A foot joke. A callout. From the Silver-Haired Glacier." His voice had gone somewhere high and offended. "You have been spending too much time with that Rogue kid. Get out. Leave the root and get out before I start charging you a Liam Tax for every breath you take in my shop."

"I have a stream to start," Liam said, already turning for the door. "The Goddess is hungry."

"Tell Hestia she’s not the only one," Spring called after him, already eyeing the taro with the focused attention of a man planning something. "And it’s not a fetish! It’s called appreciating structural support!"

The door closed. Liam stepped back into the street, and the shadow that had been following him since the garden path moved again at the edge of his vision, the same persistent presence it had been for the last hour, patient and quiet and waiting for something.

He didn’t look back. A hungry goddess was a significantly more urgent threat to his continued existence than whatever the shadow wanted, and he had a kitchen to get to.

The townhouse was quiet. He set the satchel on the counter, pulled out the serpent egg, and looked at it for a moment. To Rogue, it was a legendary pet drop. To the three guilds, it was a boss material worth fighting over. To Liam, it was the centrepiece of a high-tier Omurice, and it was going to be excellent.

He tapped the stream icon.

[STREAM STATUS: LIVE]

[Title: Serpent Omurice]

The viewer count spiked before the title had finished loading, and the chat arrived at full speed.

Cmurdock: HE’S BACK. I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD.

[JudeTraore]: Do you have a chocolate chip recipe? asking for survival reasons.

[Daisycatt]: he looks tired. Someone give this man a hug or my bed.

[Shennn3k]: ARE YOU DATING THE PINK CAT? If not, can I HIT?

[Stressed_prazai_]: gossip in the square says he’s involved with the Iron Hearth GM. Is that why Elizabeth was flushed at the gate?

[NotSharkie]: Ruby Eye guild put a kill contract out on you for the pillar incident. Be careful, Chef.

[Hiimfrog]: omg silver hair.

Liam leaned into the frame, his damp hair a mess, his eyes tired and steady in the way they always were, and looked directly at the camera with the specific energy of an older brother who has come home after a long day and is going to make dinner now.

"Hey, everyone," he said. "NotSharkie, I saw you in the square earlier. I hope the trade went well. JudeTraore, good to see you. How’s everyone holding up out there?" It wasn’t a question so much as a check, the kind of thing a person does when they actually want to know the answer. "Stay safe."

The chat tripled in thirty seconds, which it always did when he talked to people like people.

He pulled the egg out and set it on the counter. It pulsed with soft rhythmic light, silver-gold, warm in a way that had nothing to do with temperature.

[Stressed_prazai_]: BRO, THAT IS A BOSS EGG YOU ARE NOT COOKING THAT.

[JudeTraore]: he’s going to do it... the absolute madman.

"It’s just an egg," Liam said, picking up his knife. "Rogue thinks it’s a baby dragon. I think it looks like breakfast."

He diced the serpent taro with the blinding speed of someone who had been doing this since before the game existed, the mana from the root infusing the air with a sweet starchy warmth that the stream camera couldn’t transmit but that four thousand viewers somehow felt anyway, and his shirt, already torn from the battle, slipped further off his shoulder in a way that the chat had thoughts about.

[Daisycatt]: the way his muscles move when he chops. help.

[Mmna]: adult mode when. I would pay a thousand credits for a kitchen POV.

[NotSharkie]: FOCUS ON THE PAN. LOOK AT THE SIZZLE.

Liam didn’t see the adult mode requests. He was watching the heat. He cracked the egg, and the yolk came out thick and gold and smelling of liquid mana, and he whisked it and poured it into the pan, and the sizzle it made sounded like something that belonged in a temple.

[HIDDEN RECIPE UNLOCKED: Divine Serpent Omurice.]

[Permanent Buffs: +25 HP, +10% Mana Regeneration, Dragon-Slayer’s Aura.]

[Note: Consumption of this dish makes you the natural predator of all scaled monsters. The serpent hierarchy has been notified they are not happy.]

Somewhere in the divine feed, Hestia sneezed.

The chat was still going, the omurice was coming together, the kitchen smelled like something that hadn’t existed in this world before tonight, and Liam was completely in his element, which was the specific state he existed in when everything else fell away, and there was only the pan and the heat and the next step.

He didn’t hear the bathroom door open behind him.

The chat did.

[Shennn3k]: LIAM, DO NOT TURN AROUND.

[NotSharkie]: TURN AROUND.

[Stressed_prazai_]: I CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT I AM SEEING RIGHT NOW.

[Hiimfrog]: THE STREAM. THE STREAM IS STILL LIVE.

Elizabeth walked out of the shower in a towel.

She was reaching up to deal with her hair, which meant she hadn’t looked at the kitchen yet, which meant she hadn’t seen the floating camera eye, which meant four thousand people were watching something she was not aware of, and the chat was moving too fast to read, and Liam was still looking at the pan.

The omurice needed another thirty seconds.

[Tool Tip]: The Perfect Garnish

Berserker’s Clarity: Can be brewed into a potion that grants high-speed processing. The world slows down, but your hunger bar drains 3x faster.

[System Note]: "Most people see a weed. Liam sees the difference between a ’Good’ meal and a ’Legendary’ one. Also, try not to bruise the leaves; they’re more sensitive than a Ruby Eye Guild member’s ego."