Honbul: Flame of the Soul

The boy was finally in the dark.

Whether he opened his eyes or closed them, what he saw was the same. There was no day here, and no night. The sun did not rise. The moon did not rise either.

In the deep, heavy darkness, the boy felt strangely at ease. The only sound that reached his ears was his own breathing. The boy quietly listened to it.

At last, all sensation vanished.

Everything returned to nothing.

As his consciousness drifted away, the boy thought,

Ah, it was too long...

Yes, it was.

Then a voice came from somewhere.

They said people spoke to a voice when they reached the threshold of death. Perhaps this was what they meant. The voice, which readily agreed with him as if it had been watching all the hardship he had endured, felt quite familiar.

Is it finally over?

The polite words came naturally.

Yes. It was too long.

At last, this was rest.

A mournful feeling surged up in him.

He had finally reached the last moment of this detestable life.

The boy spoke as if clinging to it. 𝗳𝚛𝗲𝕖𝕨𝕖𝗯𝚗𝚘𝕧𝕖𝗹.𝗰𝗼𝕞

What happened to Myojeong? What became of Myojeong? Did he ever feel sorry for me, even once? ...It was really hard. I hated this world. I wondered why I was the only one who had to suffer like this. But in the end, I won... Please tell Jeongju and Mesan I’m sorry. Still, because they were beside me, I could endure it... And tell Yoon Taehee thank you. Anyway, because of him, I wasn’t bored at the end. Thanks to him, it ended like this...

The boy, finally standing at the threshold of death, poured out his words honestly.

The voice quietly listened to the words that flowed without hesitation.

Eventually, after saying everything he had to say, the boy felt relieved and asked,

So what happens to me now?

Will I be reborn? I don’t want that. I just want to disappear forever like this. If I have to be born again, I’d rather live as a stone, or a patch of grass by the roadside. Unknown to anyone, living quietly and ordinarily.

Hey. What happens to me?

When the boy urged it, the voice answered solemnly.

You get five penalty points.

Ah...

I see. Five penalty points...

The boy, who had been nodding along, stopped.

Huh?

Five penalty points!

The voice suddenly turned stern.

What the hell does that mean all of a sudden?

Boy, why is your hair so long?

Hair? Mine?

Yes! Your side hair is practically a blanket. A blanket.

...

The voice started getting angry.

What was he talking about? My side hair is a blanket?

The boy did not understand, but for some reason, he felt deeply offended. So the boy got angry too.

Why is my side hair a blanket? I said it was too long. By too long, I meant my life, not my hair!

Shut up, you punk. That is a violation of the hair regulations no matter how you look at it.

Who made that rule? To treat the hair on one’s own body carelessly is disrespectful to one’s parents. Though I have no parents, as the old text says, the body, hair, and skin are received from one’s parents, so one must not dare damage them. That is where filial piety begins. What do you know...

Gasp!

Jaegyeom’s eyes flew open.

“...”

The morning sunlight pouring through the window was blinding, and the birds were loud.

Blankly staring up at the familiar ceiling, Jaegyeom blinked a couple of times.

Oh, shit. The dean of discipline was...

Jaegyeom yanked the blanket over himself and buried his face in the pillow.

*****

Jaegyeom opened the door on unsteady legs.

As he came out into the living room, he heard soup bubbling. Jeongju, who had been standing in front of the gas stove, seemed to hear him and poked his head out.

“Jaegyeom, did you sleep well...?”

Jeongju stopped mid-greeting.

“Jaegyeom, what’s wrong? Why are you sweating so much?”

At a glance, Jaegyeom’s complexion did not look good. Jaegyeom wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. After standing there silently for a moment, he mumbled in a weak voice,

“A dream... Because of a dream.”

“W-what dream?”

Jeongju came closer with a deeply worried expression.

“A dream about being chased by a bald man with a stick.”

“What? I can’t believe you had such a terrible nightmare!”

Startled, Jeongju hurriedly rubbed Jaegyeom’s back.

“Hurry and forget that dream.”

Jaegyeom lowered his head and let Jeongju’s hand remain there. It had been a while since he had slept on the floor, and his back ached.

Just then, Mesan, who had been out in the yard, rushed in through the open sliding door. After panting for a moment, Mesan soon smiled brightly and bowed.

“My lord, have you woken?”

“Huh? Oh. Yeah...”

Jaegyeom scratched his head and avoided his eyes.

It had only been a dream, but Jaegyeom felt pointlessly distraught. Because of the dream’s contents, looking at Jeongju and Mesan, who knew nothing, brought up a faint sense of guilt. Somewhat ashamed, Jaegyeom fiddled with the back of his neck.

Mesan, who had no way of knowing what Jaegyeom was thinking, was simply beaming.

“My lord, my lord! Oh, I collected some stones for jacks. Would you like to see them?”

Mesan clung to Jaegyeom’s waist like a cicada and chattered nonstop.

“Hmm... All right. Bring them here.”

While Mesan went to fetch the stones, Jaegyeom headed to the kitchen. He stood in front of the stove and peered into the pot. Jeongju was boiling bean sprout soup.

After looking around for a moment, Jaegyeom asked,

“...Where did he go?”

Jeongju, tasting the soup with a spoon, asked, “What?”

Jaegyeom gestured toward his room with his chin.

“Yoon Taehee.”

At Jaegyeom’s words, Jeongju’s eyes widened.

“What? Huh? He’s not there?”

“He wasn’t there when I opened my eyes.”

After waking from the nightmare, Jaegyeom had belatedly remembered Yoon Taehee’s existence and turned his head. But what he saw was an empty, bare bed.

The luggage left there last night had disappeared without a trace.

He had thought Taehee must have woken first and gone out to the living room or the yard, but apparently that was not the case.

“I thought he was still sleeping in your room.”

Jeongju set down the spoon with a puzzled look. He had deliberately avoided opening the door, afraid he might wake him.

“When did he leave? I don’t think I heard him go out...”

Jeongju, who usually slept lightly, tilted his head and belatedly opened the door.

“Oh. You’re right...”

The guest who had stopped by last night had even folded the bedding neatly before leaving.

“I guess he woke up early and went home first.”

Jeongju muttered with a sullen face.

Jaegyeom, who had been looking at the empty bed, glanced around and searched for his cell phone. He wondered whether Taehee might have left a text message. With a small amount of expectation, he turned on the screen.

But the home screen was empty.

“...”

Jaegyeom suddenly felt wronged.

I went through all that trouble carrying him on my back instead of dumping him by the roadside, and he just left without a word?

“This is why people say no good deed goes unpunished...”

Muttering to himself, Jaegyeom turned his back and left the room.

“He could have at least stayed for breakfast. The bean sprout soup turned out nicely...”

Jeongju’s regretful voice followed him from behind.

*****

For the first time, Jaegyeom entered the Main Hall alone, without anyone accompanying him.

Jaegyeom, who still had no work schedule, was not sure what time he was supposed to go in. For the past two days, he had not needed to worry because someone had come to pick him up. Today, however, there was no information. All he knew was Yoon Taehee’s number.

Yoon Taehee, who had disappeared without a word, remained unreachable even at noon. So this time, Jaegyeom decided to call first, intending to ask what time he should arrive. But the call rang and rang before being routed to voicemail.

Yoon Taehee did not answer.

What’s going on? Did something urgent happen?

The feeling of unfairness he had felt that morning turned into a strange curiosity by lunchtime. He considered calling again for a moment, then decided to leave it alone. Perhaps Taehee was simply very busy.

There must be a good reason he could not answer.

In any case, there would be a record of the missed call, so Jaegyeom figured Taehee would call back later. Since he had gone in around the afternoon yesterday and the day before, he came to the vague conclusion that he should go at roughly the same time today as well.

Jeongju offered ◈ Nоvеlіgһт ◈ (Continue reading) to drive him there himself, but Jaegyeom shook his head. He could not always depend on someone else to accompany him. Fortunately, there was a bus stop not far from the house. Following Jeongju’s instructions, Jaegyeom boarded the bus to Jongmyo.

The bus ran smoothly beneath the clear Jongno sky.

When Jaegyeom arrived at the office, a few team members welcomed him. Compared to yesterday, there were fewer people present; some had been called out on dispatch, and others had not yet come in.

The first thing Jaegyeom asked was whether Yoon Taehee was here.

“Chief Yoon? He hasn’t come in yet.”