Honbul: Flame of the Soul

After Yoon Taehee left the Chief’s office, Jaegyeom spent the entire day unsettled.

You really do know. When to say things. And exactly what words will break me. You know far too well.

Yoon Taehee had left those cryptic words behind and disappeared somewhere. He did not show up until evening, and in the end, he never returned to the office before Jaegyeom left work.

After leaving alone, Jaegyeom sat cross-legged on his bed late that night, once everyone else had fallen asleep, staring down at his phone.

There was no message from Yoon Taehee.

In the end, Jaegyeom decided that Yoon Taehee really must be angry.

The man who usually pestered him so much had not contacted him all day, and he had not driven him home either. The reason was obvious. It had to be because of what Jaegyeom had snapped in the Chief’s office earlier.

He had been teaching Jaegyeom spelling and spacing on his own time, only to hear him say things like “what’s the point of learning this” and “it’s useless.” It made sense that he had taken offense.

Should I contact him first and apologize...?

Jaegyeom scratched his cheek with an indifferent expression.

Putting himself in Yoon Taehee’s place, if he had heard something like that while sincerely teaching someone, he probably would have lost motivation too. But separately from that, deep down, he also thought, Did I really say something that terrible?

Once this month passed and next month came, the three months he had promised Yoon Taehee would be over. If everything was going to end in two months anyway, then feeling that all this time spent studying Korean—something he did not even need—was meaningless seemed natural enough. Both the one learning and the one teaching were wasting their energy for no reason.

Anyway, it was not technically wrong, so it did not seem like something to get that angry about.

And compared to all the things he’s said to me until now...

“...”

At that thought, Jaegyeom’s eyebrow twitched.

Right. Come to think of it, the Yoon Taehee of the past had been a rude bastard who tormented people by picking apart every little thing that displeased him.

Jaegyeom had been sitting there quietly reflecting on his own faults, but he was hardly a person of flawless virtue. Naturally, defiance began to rise in him—What the hell, like you’re so great?—and the tiny grain of guilt rolling around inside his chest swelled into resentment the size of a house.

And just like that, the mature attitude of Was this my fault? and the attempt at self-reflection melted away like snow.

Compared to what Yoon Taehee had done to him so far, this was nothing. There was no need to feel sorry. No, in fact, maybe this was for the best.

Jaegyeom had already been worrying lately about how to handle his relationship with Yoon Taehee going forward. The incident a few days ago, when Yoo Namsaeng cried at the dining table, had been decisive.

That day, Yoo Namsaeng had cried because he was happy and therefore afraid. In that moment, Jaegyeom remembered a feeling he had forgotten for a while.

The heart of someone preparing to say goodbye.

If everything went according to plan, his life would end in two months.

Jaegyeom had always been the one left behind. Now, for the first time, he was the one leaving.

He had never thought seriously about how to prepare for a farewell. To be honest, he had pushed it aside because it was not yet directly in front of him. But now he felt that it was time to prepare.

And from then on, Jaegyeom found himself worrying about Yoon Taehee, who would be left behind.

At first, he had not worried about him. They both knew each other’s goals and had joined hands to achieve them. But from the moment Jaegyeom learned that Yoon Taehee liked him, he began growing more and more concerned about him.

To make their eventual separation easier, he needed to keep an appropriate distance from now on.

For Jeongju and Mesan, who had lived with him for so long, trying to create distance at this point would be meaningless. But Yoon Taehee was different. They had met not long ago. And worse, as time passed, Jaegyeom was growing closer and closer to him.

That was definitely a problem.

I’m happy when I’m with you.

Was Yoon Taehee not afraid of the fact that all of this would end someday?

After thinking about it seriously, Jaegyeom concluded that it would not be a bad idea to use this incident as an opportunity to slowly distance himself from Yoon Taehee.

It was for Yoon Taehee, who would be left behind.

And also for Jaegyeom himself.

Because parting hurt both the person who left and the person who remained.

This could not deepen any further.

They could still get along as they had been. But from now on, he needed to avoid situations where the two of them spent long stretches of time alone together. Commuting together or eating meals seemed fine, but sitting side by side studying like this...

That did not seem good.

Jaegyeom neatly folded away the thought of contacting Yoon Taehee first.

Finally, after turning off the light and lying down, he closed his eyes and quietly tried to sleep.

He had just drifted into a shallow doze.

Ring, ring...

At some point, his phone rang on the bedside table.

Buried under the blanket, Jaegyeom opened his eyes. He reached out and fumbled around outside the covers until he found his phone.

[Yoon Taehee]

The moment he saw the name on the screen, his heart skipped.

Jaegyeom’s half-drowsy eyes flew wide open. He sat up and stared blankly at the screen.

What could possibly be happening past midnight, after no contact all day?

After hesitating over whether to answer, Jaegyeom slowly lifted the phone to his ear.

“...”

Even after answering, Jaegyeom stayed silent at first.

—...

The other side was silent too.

But even after waiting a while, no sound came through. Holding the phone to his ear, Jaegyeom frowned slightly.

What was this? Had he called by mistake? Or had the call disconnected?

He glanced at the screen, then brought it back to his ear.

—It’s me.

Only then did a low voice flow through the phone.

Jaegyeom flinched, then cleared his throat once in silence. After that, he answered casually, as though nothing had happened.

“Oh... What is it?”

—Come out.

The call ended immediately after that.

It was an extraordinarily unfriendly and ill-mannered conversation.

Jaegyeom frowned down at the bright screen in the dark.

Come out where, at this hour?

He considered calling back and asking properly, but worry got the better of him and he stood up. For now, he decided to go out to the front gate.

He quietly opened the gate and peeked outside.

That was when he saw him.

A familiar figure stood beneath the streetlight in front of the house.

Yoon Taehee was leaning against the wall, washed in orange light. Unlike usual, his black sedan was nowhere in sight.

He was crouched down with his face buried in his knees. Several crushed cigarette butts lay scattered near his feet, as though he had been there for some time.

Jaegyeom gently closed the gate behind him so it would not make a sound.

“Hey.”

Yoon Taehee did not react, as if he had fallen asleep.

“Hey.”

When Jaegyeom called him again, Yoon Taehee slowly raised his head.

“What are you doing here? Why did you come?”

Jaegyeom asked gruffly from a distance.

He wondered if Yoon Taehee had come to receive an apology.

Then Yoon Taehee tilted his head slightly and looked toward him. Resting his cheek on his arm, he stared at Jaegyeom for a long time through half-lidded eyes before finally moving his lips.

“I came because ➤ NоvеⅠight ➤ (Read more on our source) I missed you.”

The unexpected answer left Jaegyeom momentarily speechless.

“...”

He fidgeted with his fingers before finally opening his mouth.

“W-we’re going to see each other at headquarters tomorrow anyway, so why...”

“I wanted to see you before tomorrow came.”

It was an honest answer, neither hidden nor dressed up.

Yoon Taehee slowly rose from where he had been crouching against the wall.

He stood facing Jaegyeom, who remained a few steps away. But looking closer, his movements were much less steady than usual.

Jaegyeom studied him carefully, then asked,

“Have you... been drinking?”

Yoon Taehee lowered his head and shoved both hands into the pockets of his trousers.

“Yeah.”

It had been hard to tell while he was crouching, but now that they were facing each other, it was obvious.

Yoon Taehee was extremely drunk.

This was not the first time Jaegyeom had seen him drunk. Compared to back then, however, Yoon Taehee was now completely intoxicated. He seemed to have trouble even keeping his balance. The smell of alcohol was strong enough to reach Jaegyeom from several steps away.

Then Yoon Taehee suddenly lifted his right hand to his mouth and bit down hard on his finger.

Hard enough to draw blood.

A red bead welled quickly on his fingertip, then dripped to the ground.

“W-what are you doing?”

Jaegyeom raised his voice in alarm, wondering if this was some kind of drunken madness.

At that moment, Yoon Taehee staggered toward him, abruptly grabbed him by the collar, and slammed him against the wall.

Dragged forward by the unexpected force, Jaegyeom hit his back against the wall and winced, his brow furrowing.

“What are you doing?”

He grabbed Yoon Taehee’s wrist where it clenched his collar.

Yoon Taehee slowly lifted his bleeding hand.

With his blood-wet fingertip, he brushed aside Jaegyeom’s messy bangs and drew a straight line across his smooth forehead.

Startled by the incomprehensible action, Jaegyeom jerked his head to the side.

Expressionless, Yoon Taehee muttered to himself.

Kim Jaegyeom.

Kim Jaegyeom...

Kim Jaegyeom......

“Hey, what are you doing right now?!”

Jaegyeom frowned and was just about to wrench Yoon Taehee’s wrist away when it happened.

“Kiss me.”

“...What?”

“Kiss me.”

At the sudden demand, Jaegyeom’s eyes slowly widened.

“...”

“...”

For a while, the two of them stared into each other’s eyes without speaking.

A heavy silence fell, as though time itself had stopped.

At some point, Yoon Taehee slowly released Jaegyeom’s collar and murmured hazily,

“It’s not working...”