Honbul: Flame of the Soul

“Morning.”

Yoon Taehee nudged his glasses down the bridge of his nose and greeted him lazily. He had been sitting out on the porch watching Jaegyeom, but now he slowly lowered himself onto his side as though melting into the floorboards. Resting his head against one arm, he looked at Jaegyeom in silence for a moment before smiling faintly. A dimple appeared in one cheek. Bathed in the bright morning sunlight, he looked languid and soft.

“Sleep well?”

The moment their eyes met, Jaegyeom looked away awkwardly.

“Huh? Yeah....”

With one shoulder folded beneath him, Yoon Taehee asked,

“Your stomach okay?”

“Oh. Yeah....”

Yoon Taehee had no idea Jaegyeom had been dying from a brutal hangover until just moments ago. Mesan’s medicinal water was practically a miracle cure. Without it, he probably would’ve been crawling across the floor by now. At Jaegyeom’s answer, Yoon Taehee murmured to himself in amusement.

“My Bride really can drink....”

Jaegyeom’s shoulders twitched at the title he had not heard in a while.

“...”

After a short silence, he pretended not to hear it and changed the subject.

“You.”

“What?”

“Your stomach okay?”

“I barely drank yesterday, so I’m fine.”

He certainly looked fine. While Jaegyeom had secretly suffered through a hangover, Yoon Taehee was perfectly composed. Then again, Jaegyeom had downed four cans of beer plus that ridiculously strong infused liquor, while Yoon Taehee had only had about half a can at most.

“Good. I was worried.”

Yoon Taehee, stretched across the porch like a cat basking in the sun, slowly pushed himself upright. He removed the round glasses perched low on his nose and set them beside the book lying nearby.

“Then should we wash up, head down, and eat?”

Without his glasses, Yoon Taehee looked directly at him.

“......”

Jaegyeom avoided his gaze again.

His eyes wandered awkwardly around the yard. After a dream like that, looking Yoon Taehee in the face was difficult. Every time their eyes met, the dream resurfaced, and his heart started pounding again.

The problem was how vivid it had felt.

He clearly remembered drinking together on the porch last night. He must’ve said things he never would have sober. Probably about Myojeong.

And after that....

He thought they had kissed. No—had they really kissed?

But the Yoon Taehee in front of him looked completely calm, as though nothing had happened at all. That only made Jaegyeom more confused. The more he thought about the dream, the harder it became to tell what had actually happened and what had not.

He was sure it had been a dream, but now even that certainty was wavering. Like a detective piecing together clues, Jaegyeom dug through fragments of memory. Restless, he finally decided to test him.

“Hey. Yesterday....”

“Yeah.”

Yoon Taehee looked up from the book he had reopened.

“We drank on the porch, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you carry me to the room?”

“Yeah. You passed out drunk.”

“Why?”

“No reason. Just because.”

Jaegyeom tried to sound casual as he trailed off vaguely. In reality, even talking to him felt uncomfortable right now, but he forced himself to act normal.

“Hey. But maybe—”

He kept his face deliberately blank as he spoke.

“Yeah.”

“Last night.”

“Yeah.”

“...”

Cold sweat prickled down his spine despite his expressionless face.

“What about last night?”

“Ye- yesterday....”

He tried to stay calm, but the stutter slipped out anyway.

“Yeah.”

“Nothing happened, right?”

Yoon Taehee’s hand paused halfway through turning a page.

He stared silently at Jaegyeom.

The tips of his ears were slightly red.

Then Yoon Taehee lowered his gaze back to the book and answered quietly.

“Something did happen.”

What?

Jaegyeom’s face immediately drained of color.

“Wha... what happened?”

Yoon Taehee answered in the same calm tone as ever.

“We kissed.”

Jaegyeom’s shoulders jerked.

“......”

So they really had kissed.

That part had been real.

How many times had they kissed now?

At some point, Jaegyeom had started unconsciously thinking, It’s just kissing. Honestly, he could accept that much. The important thing was everything after it.

“W-what else?”

Trying to appear unconcerned, Jaegyeom fiddled pointlessly with the mud-plastered pillar beside him.

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

Yoon Taehee nodded.

“Yeah. We kissed, and that was all.”

Ah, fuck, thank god.

For a moment, Jaegyeom nearly lost strength in his legs.

Everything after that really had been a dream. Thinking about it now, none of it would’ve made sense otherwise. No matter how drunk he’d been, there was no way something like that could happen in reality.

“What’s wrong?”

Yoon Taehee asked as Jaegyeom visibly relaxed.

“Nothing.”

Jaegyeom shook his head, forcing himself to look casual.

“I’m gonna wash up.”

He hurried into the bathroom almost like he was fleeing.

Now that he’d confirmed it was a dream, he felt relieved, but being around Yoon Taehee still felt awkward because the dream had been so explicit. That had been dangerously close. Still, at least now he knew it wasn’t real.

Inside the bathroom, Jaegyeom let out a long sigh and turned on the faucet.

“Fuck. I seriously shouldn’t drink.”

The mud house bathroom didn’t have a sink, so he filled a large basin with water to wash up. Squatting down, he watched cold water pour into it.

Shhh—

Staring blankly at the stream of water, the dream kept resurfacing.

The images were blurry, but the sensations remained vivid.

The hard porch pressed beneath the back of his head.

A hand stroking slowly up his bare legs from his ankles.

Broad, solid shoulders resting against his calves.

Soft, thick hair tangled around his fist.

The firm back beneath his hands as he wrapped his arms around him.

And Yoon Taehee’s crown of dark hair, hazy in his blurred vision.

Without realizing it, Jaegyeom lowered his head.

Still crouched there, he stared blankly down at himself.

At some point, the basin had overflowed.

“...”

Abruptly snapping back to himself, he stiffened.

No matter how vivid it had felt, a dream was still just a dream. Hadn’t it been the same before, back when Yoon Taehee first appeared in his dreams?

He needed to get this insane dream out of his head as quickly as possible. Clear his mind. He still had to be drunk.

Jaegyeom splashed cold water onto his face.

He wasn’t a sodomite. He needed to forget the dream entirely.

After scrubbing his face thoroughly with freezing water, as though trying to wash the lingering traces of the dream away with it, his head finally felt clearer.

Just as he started regaining his composure and squeezed toothpaste onto his toothbrush—

Huh?

His eyes landed on the washing machine sitting in the corner of the bathroom.

Earlier he had walked right past it in a daze, but now he noticed it was running loudly.

Did Yoon Taehee start it?

With the toothbrush hanging from his mouth, Jaegyeom cracked the bathroom door open.

“Hey. Did you do laundry?”

Yoon Taehee’s voice drifted in from the yard.

“Yeah. The clothes we changed out of yesterday.”

“Why?”

“Didn’t want to shove worn clothes back into my bag.”

Jaegyeom frowned.

He could’ve just taken them home and washed them there. Sometimes Yoon Taehee was ridiculously particular about cleanliness.

Meanwhile, Jaegyeom—naturally far less fussy—had simply folded up the clothes he changed out of after showering last night and stuffed them into his bag.

After finishing brushing his teeth and washing up, Jaegyeom wiped his face roughly with a towel.

Right on cue, the washing machine finished with a loud beep.

Looking at it for a moment, Jaegyeom pulled Yoon Taehee’s laundry out like he was doing him a favor.

It was Yoon Taehee’s laundry, but the least he could do was take it out for him.

Carrying the damp clothes in his arms, Jaegyeom slipped into a pair of rubber slippers and stepped out into the yard.

“You already washed up?”

Yoon Taehee, already walking toward the corner of the yard, glanced back at him. A cigarette {N•o•v•e•l•i•g•h•t} pack rested in his hand like he had been about to smoke.

“Hey. Laundry’s done.”

Jaegyeom tossed the pile onto the porch with a nod.

“Thanks.”

“Hang it up before it wrinkles.”

Jeongju’s nagging had rubbed off on him. Jeongju was always going on about how clothes had to be hung immediately or they’d wrinkle, so the habit had stuck.

But Yoon Taehee only answered lazily.

“Okay.”

He leaned one arm against the stone wall.

The scent of the ocean drifted in on the cool sea breeze.

Jaegyeom glanced secretly at Yoon Taehee’s back as he stood looking out toward the sea. The oversized white T-shirt fluttered lightly in the wind, his thick hair sweeping back.

As if sensing the stare, Yoon Taehee suddenly turned around.

“What?”

Jaegyeom immediately looked away.

“Nothing.”

It felt strangely awkward, like he’d been caught staring.

Trying to shake off the discomfort, Jaegyeom bent down and picked up the laundry he had dumped on the porch.

“Leave it. I’ll hang it.”

Then Yoon Taehee, pulling out a lighter, said,

“It’s fine. I’ll do it.”

“I’m good at hanging laundry.”

Jaegyeom answered flatly.

There wasn’t much else to do anyway, and there weren’t that many clothes. If he hung them quickly, it would be over in no time.

With that thought, he casually started helping.

He shook the wet clothes out one by one and neatly hung them across the clothesline stretched through the yard.

Then—

...Huh?

Jaegyeom paused, staring down at the laundry still left in his hands.

Everything here was what Yoon Taehee had worn yesterday.

He had already hung up a shirt and pants, so only socks and underwear remained.

The strange part was that there were three pairs of underwear.

One of them was definitely Jaegyeom’s.

All of Jaegyeom’s boxer briefs were black. Jeongju had bought them all in the same style so they wouldn’t get mixed up.

Jaegyeom frowned in confusion.

Wait. Why is my underwear here?

I put the pair I changed out of last night into my bag.

And why did Yoon Taehee change his underwear twice...?

No. Wait.

I don’t remember changing at all....

Jaegyeom’s expression slowly stiffened as he stared at the underwear in his hands.

“...”

A terrible thought suddenly flashed through his head.

Jaegyeom’s eyes widened.

“Hey.”

His voice came out before he realized it.

Yoon Taehee, who had been about to light his cigarette, paused and looked over.

“Yes?”

Blank-eyed, Jaegyeom muttered,

“You said we only kissed, so why....”

“Ah.”

Yoon Taehee blinked slowly once or twice.

“It’s true that we only kissed.”

“...What?”

“But—”

He paused, then added casually,

“I did it in places besides your lips.”

Jaegyeom froze solid.

Still watching him silently, Yoon Taehee lit the cigarette between his lips and took a deep drag, cheeks hollowing slightly.

A thick stream of smoke slowly spilled from his parted lips.

At last, the underwear slipped from Jaegyeom’s hand and fell to the ground.

“...”

“...”

Yoon Taehee exhaled another thin stream of smoke, wrinkling his nose slightly.

“You thought it was a dream?”