Honbul: Flame of the Soul

Even though he had clearly told him to go wait in the van, Mesan was nowhere to be found. The color drained from Jeongju’s face. For him to vanish in a place crawling with humans like this. The exhilaration he had been riding crashed in an instant.

Jeongju frantically whipped his gaze around. But no matter how hard he looked, there was not so much as a single hair of Mesan in sight. It was a sudden emergency. His fingertips trembled. Had he gotten lost? Pulling his mask firmly back up, Jeongju started running all over the hospital.

Between the parked cars, around the flower beds in bloom, beneath the trees casting broad shade. He searched everywhere Mesan might be, but there was no sign of him. Dizzy all at once, Jeongju sucked in rough breaths and smacked his own head hard.

“I need to stay calm. Stay calm.”

Patients out strolling in front of the hospital with their IV poles rolling beside them glanced over at him. Jeongju broke into a run again. This time he went outside. On the off chance, that was why. He crossed the main gate and looked left and right from the roadside. Then he spotted a cluster of pedestrians gathered in a circle a few meters away. The moment he saw it, something in his instincts twisted.

Alarm.

The pedestrians had packed themselves around the center, all staring at something.

“Oh my God. What happened?”

“Ugh, is that a cat?”

“What do we do? I think it’s hurt.”

Jeongju shoved through the crowd with urgent hands. As he forced his way through the gaps, he finally saw a familiar back. It was a small child wearing an oversized hoodie, big enough to look several times larger than his body. The child was crouched down, staring at the ground.

A bloodied cat lay there.

It had collapsed unconscious, limp, in such a horrific state that it was hard to look at.

“Me-Mesan...!”

Jeongju’s lips had only just parted when—

“Oh no. Oh no.”

“Sweetheart, leave it alone.”

“Hey, little guy! Don’t touch it!”

Jeongju sucked in a breath, the name dying before it left his mouth.

Mesan had placed a hand over the collapsed cat’s body, as if making up his mind.

At the same moment, a brilliant white glow burst from his tiny palm. The pedestrians who had been about to stop him widened their eyes.

The white light pouring from Mesan’s hand broke apart into countless grains. The tiny particles clung thickly to the cat’s mangled flesh. The wounds that had been pouring blood began to close in an instant. Faced with a sight too unbelievable to accept even while watching it happen, the pedestrians gasped and clapped their hands over their mouths.

“Oh my God...”

“What was that just now? Seriously? No way.”

The wounds vanished in the blink of an eye. The cat, which had been sprawled there as if unconscious, opened its eyes.

By then, Mesan’s little hand was smeared all over with blood.

The cat blinked, then sprang to its feet. The pedestrians staggered backward with cries of shock. Jeongju, who had stood frozen like stone, finally snapped back to himself and lunged through the crowd toward Mesan.

He grabbed Mesan by the back of the neck in one swift motion and hauled him up. Startled, Mesan looked up at him with wide eyes. Jeongju yanked down the oversized hood Mesan had been hiding under. The huge hood covered Mesan’s small face completely. He could hear the crowd starting to buzz.

Then Jeongju ran.

*****

Jeongju and Mesan did not make it home until evening.

They stepped inside through the front door and pulled off their shoes with exhausted faces. Jeongju spotted Jaegyeom’s Converse sneakers lying in a mess by the shoe cabinet and let out a breath of relief. He had secretly worried Jaegyeom might have wandered off somewhere else, so at least it looked like he had come home.

“Ja-Jaegyeom. I’m back.”

“My lord, we’re home...”

The lights were on inside, and a noisy racket was pouring out from the television. Someone was definitely there, yet neither Jeongju’s greeting nor Mesan’s showed any sign of being returned. As the cold atmosphere made Mesan only glance around nervously, Jeongju walked into the living room and turned his eyes to one spot.

“......”

Jaegyeom was sitting as usual with his back against the sofa, watching television. He was holding a large bowl in one hand, apparently eating something. Without taking his eyes off the screen, Jaegyeom silently moved his spoon. The corner of his mouth, where a scab still clung, worked as he chewed.

The bowl was full of plain white rice.

“You’re eating? Why are you eating plain rice without even any side dishes?”

Keeping his tone deliberately casual, Jeongju spoke to him as though nothing had happened. As though this were no different from any ordinary day.

Jaegyeom’s face, too, was the same as always.

Only he said nothing.

Right now, he was treating both Jeongju and Mesan as though they were air.

It seemed this was not going to pass naturally after all.

Jeongju finally let out a deep sigh and sat down directly in front of him.

“Jaegyeom.”

“......”

“Jaegyeom.”

“Move. I can’t see.”

Jeongju sat there on purpose with his back to the television. Even after Jaegyeom answered shortly, he did not move. So Jaegyeom shifted his gaze down to the bowl in his hands instead. He just kept eating rice in silence.

Mesan watched the two of them with a worried expression.

It was exactly as Jeongju had told him on the drive home.

His lord was definitely angry right now.

Jeongju had spent the entire drive exploding in fury.

“Mesan. I swear, the two of you are going to drive me insane. Him and you both. Do neither of you know the meaning of being careful?”

“I-I’m sorry. I just... the cat... it looked hurt...”

“You really don’t know what Jaegyeom’s temper is like, do you? Just imagine if he found out you pulled something like that in the middle of the street. This would not end here. I’m only letting you off with a scolding because it’s me. The two of you make my heart pound so hard I can’t live like this. I’m already worried sick he might still be angry!”

“Pardon? Wh-what do you mean? My lord is angry...?”

He had asked why, but Jeongju had only looked guilty, dodged the question, and kept his mouth shut. 𝘧𝓇ℯ𝑒𝓌𝑒𝑏𝓃𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘭.𝒸ℴ𝓂

“...I’m sorry.”

So it was because of Lord Jeongju.

Jeongju, who had been quietly looking at Jaegyeom, apologized with a crestfallen face.

Even so, Jaegyeom kept silently eating his rice.

Jeongju cleared his throat and coughed awkwardly as he watched his expression. At the same time, a pair of fox ears popped up over his head. On purpose, Jeongju let them droop limply. It was his ultimate strategy, making himself look as pitiful as possible to stir Jaegyeom’s sympathy.

“No. It’s fine.”

Maybe the tactic had worked. Jaegyeom obediently set down the bowl in his hands.

The moment he finally looked up and met his eyes, color bloomed across Jeongju’s face at once.

“No, Jaegyeom. Earlier I went too far when I said—”

“You said that if I went to school for one month, you’d grant me one wish.”

“Huh? Uh...”

Jaegyeom spoke in the same tone he always used.

“I’ll say it now. Send Mesan back to his hometown, and you never show up in front of me again.”

A heavy silence filled the wide living room.

“......”

Jeongju’s eyes went wide, as if he could not believe what he had heard. Staring at Jaegyeom with a shaken gaze, he stiffly turned his head.

Mesan, who met his eyes, was wearing the exact same expression.

“Jaegyeom, what... what are you saying right now?”

“Keep your promise. There are two weeks left.”

“My lord!”

At that moment, Mesan shouted sharply.

He had never raised his voice like that before.

“What... what are you saying?!”

Jaegyeom lifted his eyes and looked at him.

Mesan’s face was burning red. He was panting, barely holding back the tears brimming in his eyes. Jeongju, who had been sitting there stunned, grabbed Jaegyeom’s wrist. Forcing the corners of his mouth up, he spoke as calmly as he could.

“Ja-Jaegyeom. Why are you doing this all of a sudden? Wh-what I said earlier, I was too worked up. I was only worried about you... I was scared something might happen... that’s why I said it. Back then, a broken bone or two wouldn’t have meant much, but the world’s different now, [N O V E L I G H T] so...”

“I know. I know what you meant. You were right.”

Jaegyeom nodded.

“I just wanted you, now that you’d decided to go to school, to live like a normal kid. Even if it was only for a little while. That’s why I said it. I hate someone like Lee Juyeol too. I do, I really do. Of course he was the one in the wrong, but Jaegyeom... people like that are just like that, and it’s not like you’re going to stay in school forever. You’re stronger than he is, so... if you just shut your eyes and endure it once, it can pass quietly. And if anything like this happens again, I’ll handle it all like I did this time, so those mud-wrestling fights are something you can avo—”

“Hey.”

Jaegyeom, who had been listening in silence, suddenly cut him off.

“You really are human.”

Jeongju, who had been rambling on, stopped speaking.

“......”

“You’ve really become human.”

“...Jaegyeom.”

“I’m sick of living like this now.”

Jaegyeom gazed out the window with a quiet stare.

Mesan, who had come right up to him, burst out with tears streaming down his face. He had held back his crying so hard his shoulders were shaking violently.

“My lord. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always stay by your side.”

“Jaegyeom. I just wanted you to be with people again. I wanted you to be happy again, to enjoy things again, like before. That’s why I did it. I only did it because I wanted to see you like that.”

“......”

At their pleading, Jaegyeom clenched his fists so hard the knuckles turned white.

“Hey... I’m begging you. Stop saying it’s because of me. Stop saying it’s for my sake. The truth is, you’re doing it for yourselves.”

He rose from his seat, picked up the bowl, and walked into the kitchen without another word.

“If you really cared about me, then why not give me what I actually want?”

Jaegyeom dumped the cold rice into the sink.

“Just kill me already. Please.”