Honbul: Flame of the Soul

“I’m going up to Seoul. I’m going to become a Naja.”

Beside him, Mesan, who had been fooling around by opening and closing the laptop Jeongju had shoved aside, also went blank and let his mouth fall open. Jaegyeom lowered his eyes to the floor and rubbed the back of his neck.

“......”

“......”

Jeongju shot up from the sofa.

“I’ve been thinking about it, and there’s nothing I can do like this, is there? And honestly, living like this has been so boring. You two wanted me to get out of the house too. And if I become a Naja, I’ll be able to protect you and Mesan. Nothing like last time will ever happen again.”

Jeongju stared at Jaegyeom with an empty look.

“Yoon Taehee said he’d help me. He also said he’d introduce us to a place we can move into. It’s a house at the foot of Mount Bukhan, and he said Mount Bukhan is Seoul’s principal mountain, so the spiritual force there is clean. There’s a mountain right behind it, the yard is big, the walls are high, and it’s off in a secluded part of the neighborhood, so nobody passes by. He said it’s empty, so we could move in right away.”

Fidgeting with his fingers, Jaegyeom went on in an even tone.

“If we all live in Seoul together, it’ll be a lot easier for you too, Jeongju. You won’t have to keep making that exhausting trip back and forth. It might be more dangerous because there are more people there, but if I become a Naja, that’ll be solved anyway, so it might actually be safer than now.”

The color drained from Jeongju’s face.

What—what was he saying right now?

“A working person’s commute has to be convenient. That’s what Yoon Taehee said.”

Jaegyeom was serious. He repeated even the joking things Yoon Taehee had said word for word, without realizing how strange they sounded.

“......”

At last, Jeongju’s lips twitched.

“I knew it. I knew my instincts were right...”

He hadn’t wanted to send him to school. He had felt uneasy for no reason, as though something terrible was bound to happen. He had dismissed the bad feeling as needless worry and told himself to let it go. He had thought all he had to do was trust that Jaegyeom would handle things on his own, but...

The vague sense of danger Jeongju had felt had become real.

“Jaegyeom! What on earth did you hear over there?”

It felt as though all the blood in Jeongju’s body was rushing backward.

“I don’t know what that son of a bitch said to talk you into this, but this isn’t it, Jaegyeom.”

Jeongju grabbed Jaegyeom’s shoulders hard, his face twisted.

“Did you forget? They were the ones who took Mesan. The Naja. They’re the ones who hurt you like that that day. So how can you even think about becoming one?”

“I know. And if I become a Naja, that won’t happen again.”

Jeongju’s hands tightened on Jaegyeom’s shoulders.

“Is that what he told you? That becoming a Naja would make things safe? Did he even use me and Mesan as an excuse?”

“No. I’m not becoming a Naja because of you and Mesan.”

Jaegyeom lifted a hand and laid it over the back of Jeongju’s. His eyes, raised to meet Jeongju’s, were steady and firm.

There was an unbending will in them.

“It’s because of me. Only for me.”

“......”

“I want, just once, to do what I want.”

“......”

Jeongju regretted it. He should never have let him go to school. No—he should never have asked what had happened there.

Jaegyeom had not brought it up to ask permission or share opinions. It was closer to a one-sided notice. It was the sort of unfair thing that left the other person with no choice but to lose heart.

The strength drained from Jeongju’s hands. A dizzy weakness swept over him, and he staggered back. Bowing his head with a hollow face, Jeongju sank down into ★ 𝐍𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 ★ a crouch and buried his face in his knees. Mesan, who had been caught in the middle and fidgeting helplessly, held his breath and looked back and forth between them.

“Jaegyeom. You can’t trust him...”

Jeongju pleaded under his breath.

Jaegyeom tipped his head back and stared blankly up at the ceiling. His body sagged heavily against the sofa. Looking at the white ceiling, he remembered what Yoon Taehee had said.

You only have to trust what’s in your own hand.

“Don’t worry. I don’t trust him...”

Jaegyeom murmured quietly.

“I’m just under a spell.”

With that, he closed his eyes. 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝘦𝘸𝑒𝒷𝓃ℴ𝑣𝘦𝑙.𝒸ℴ𝘮

*****

The next morning, Jeongju woke Jaegyeom in an energetic voice.

“Jaegyeom! Mesan! Come eat!”

Jaegyeom, who had been fast asleep wrapped up in his blanket, pushed himself upright in a daze. Mesan took the groggy Jaegyeom by the hand and tugged him out of bed. By the time he had been dragged all the way into the kitchen, the table was already covered with breakfast.

Jaegyeom stood there blankly for a moment, then sat down. The instant he did, Jeongju drew in a breath and let it out in a big rush, as if he had been waiting for it.

It was the kind of sign that usually came right before prepared words.

“Jaegyeom. About yesterday... I’m sorry.”

Jaegyeom, who had been slowly reaching for his water glass, lifted his eyes.

“......”

The night before, Jeongju had stayed crouched like that for a long time before finally getting to his feet. Jaegyeom had silently watched his back as he went into his room. Jeongju had looked angry, and he had looked hurt.

The bedroom door had shut weakly with a click.

But Jaegyeom had already known it.

I want, just once, to do what I want.

There was no way Jeongju could ever step over words like that.

“If it’s what you want, then you... then you can do anything.”

Because you were always doing things for him. Because you always had.

“...Thank you.”

Jaegyeom looked straight at Jeongju.

In the end, Jeongju chose, as always, to take one step back. If Jaegyeom had made up his mind, there was nothing Jeongju could do to break that will. Just as Jaegyeom had respected Jeongju’s decision to become a celebrity without a second word, he had to do the same.

That was the conclusion Jeongju had reached after thinking all night.

Of course, he still didn’t understand it. Up until yesterday, the Naja had been the enemy of their family of three. But understanding did not necessarily have to come before respect, and in the end, accepting someone’s choice was a matter of resolve.

“All right. Let’s go to Seoul, Jaegyeom.”

And so Jeongju decided he had no choice but to trust Jaegyeom’s judgment.

“But can I be the one to look for the house we move into?”

Seoul had never even been an option to begin with, because it was too densely populated. There had been a time, long ago, when he had innocently imagined the three of them living together in Seoul, but after facing the Naja, he would have refused it even in death. The more people there were, the more Naja there would be too, and he had been terrified of getting caught the way they had before.

But things had changed too drastically now.

At this point, going to Seoul was unavoidable.

Even so, Jeongju did not want to live in a house Yoon Taehee had introduced. It made him uneasy. It felt wrong. And if they were broadening the search to include Seoul anyway, it would be much easier to find a house that fit their needs. There were plenty of mountains on the outskirts and along the edges of the city. They would be able to find something soon enough.

“To be honest, I don’t trust him. I don’t like him.”

Of course, if he looked back on what had happened that day, Yoon Taehee had helped Mesan in a situation where he had nothing to gain, and had risked himself to erase the Naja’s memories. Judging from the facts alone, it was true that Taehee was different from the other Naja in some way.

And Jaegyeom was not the kind of person who relaxed his guard easily or opened his heart to others. Jeongju knew that better than anyone.

But still...

For some reason, Jeongju felt an ominous sense of wrongness from Yoon Taehee.

“All right. Fine.”

Fortunately, Jaegyeom nodded without protest.

The three of them ate as they always did, chatting softly together. The atmosphere that had felt like walking on thin ice only the day before disappeared at once. Once each of them took a step back for the sake of the others, it felt as though the stone that had been pressing on their hearts had suddenly grown lighter. With the table looking the way it always did, even Mesan’s face brightened.

Mesan swayed side to side, stamping his feet lightly in excitement.

“Seoul. When we go to Seoul, we’re going to live together, right?”

he asked in an excited voice.

“Right? Jeongju too, with us, like before? Right?”

“Yeah. That’s right. The three of us are going to live together.”

Jeongju answered with a smile, chopsticks still in hand. Mesan set down his spoon and clapped. He looked delighted that the three of them would be living together again. As if he couldn’t quite believe it, he kept asking over and over, and Jaegyeom, cheeks puffed with food, nodded for him again and again.

Then, from somewhere, a ringtone rang out.

Jeongju naturally assumed it was his own phone and picked up the one he had tossed onto the sofa.

“Huh? Not this one.”

As he looked around for the sound, his gaze landed on the half-open bedroom door.

The ringing was coming from inside Jaegyeom’s room.

“Jaegyeom, where’d you put your cell phone?”

“In the pocket of my uniform pants.”

Jeongju went into Jaegyeom’s room and brought the phone back out. The number on the screen was unsaved.

Which made sense. Only a few close acquaintances even knew this number. There was no one who should be calling him on it.

What was this?

Jeongju tilted his head.

“Jaegyeom. Did you give your number to somebody?”

“No. I’d have to know my number first to give it out.”

I don’t even know how to see what it is.

Jaegyeom answered placidly as he picked up a piece of rolled omelet.

“Oh. Right.”

Jeongju nodded at once. Jaegyeom’s lessons had not progressed that far yet. Then was it spam? Even so, thinking it might be important, Jeongju pressed the call button and put the phone to his ear.

“Hello?”

A voice came from the other side after a few seconds.

“Hello. ...Jeongju?”