Honbul: Flame of the Soul

“Yoon Taehee.”

Curled up like a night insect, Jaegyeom spoke in a small voice.

“No matter what happens, don’t ever deceive me.”

“...”

“No... actually, it’s fine if you deceive me. If you are going to deceive me, just don’t let me find out.”

“...”

In the end, Yoon Taehee said nothing.

Or rather, he chose not to.

Don’t ever deceive me.

The words sounded firm, almost like a warning, yet underneath them lingered something lonely, almost pleading. But even hearing them, Yoon Taehee could not help instinctively sorting through distinctions in his head.

The difference between hiding something and deceiving someone.

Silently, he looked at Jaegyeom’s back.

A slightly thin back. Sharp shoulder blades. A neck long like a deer’s. Narrow shoulders falling in clean lines.

“...”

Lying there quietly, Yoon Taehee slowly pushed himself upright. Drawing his knees loosely to his chest, he wrapped his arms around them and gazed at the distant night sky.

The heavens were brilliantly clear. Countless stars scattered across the darkness without a single cloud to obscure them.

His abyss-like eyes sank deeper.

Even now, in a moment this brief, Yoon Taehee’s mind was already calculating escape routes. How much should be revealed. From where. Under what circumstances. What practical advantages could still be maintained.

It was true he had been shaken for a moment.

But Yoon Taehee was not someone ruled by fleeting emotions.

He sat there blankly for a long while before eventually glancing sideways again.

Jaegyeom had not moved at all.

Curled up with his back turned, he looked completely asleep.

“Did you fall asleep?”

No answer came.

“...”

Yoon Taehee leaned over slightly, bracing one hand against the wooden floor. Tilting his head as if trying to glimpse Jaegyeom’s face, he asked softly:

“Are you crying?”

Jaegyeom’s eyes snapped open instantly.

“Who the fuck is crying?” 𝑓𝑟ℯ𝘦𝓌𝘦𝘣𝑛𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓁.𝑐ℴ𝓂

The fierce reaction made Yoon Taehee’s face crumple.

“Hm? Why are you suddenly swearing at me...”

His voice trailed off into quiet laughter.

Jaegyeom glared at him viciously, then bit down on his lip.

Something about Yoon Taehee’s genuinely startled expression—as though he had been ambushed out of nowhere—almost made him laugh.

The heaviness left behind by memories of Myojeong quickly faded.

Maybe it was the alcohol, but his emotions felt strangely loose tonight, as if everything inside him sat closer to the surface than usual.

“Hm.”

Trying to act indifferent, Jaegyeom turned away again.

He was getting drunk quickly.

His body felt light, almost buoyant.

Yoon Taehee, still quietly laughing to himself, finished the rest of his beer before getting up to clean the table.

Once he finished tidying everything, he returned to the wooden floor.

“Should we go inside and sleep now?”

By then, Jaegyeom had already drifted half asleep. Scratching vaguely at his ear, he muttered:

“I’m sleeping here.”

The sound of the waves was pleasant. The night air was cool.

Sleeping outside felt perfect.

“It’s getting cold now. You can’t sleep out here.”

“It’s not cold.”

His voice slurred slightly from the alcohol, irritation thick inside it.

At that, Yoon Taehee raised one eyebrow and lightly shook his shoulder.

“Elder. You can’t sleep here.”

Jaegyeom glared at him.

“What? Elder?”

“Elderrr... because you’ll freeze if you sleep out here.”

Jaegyeom brushed his hand away and rolled over again.

“No. I’m sleeping here.”

“Why are you being so stubborn?”

Supporting himself on one arm, Yoon Taehee looked down at him.

Then suddenly, he pressed a quick kiss against Jaegyeom’s forehead.

And another against his lips.

As Jaegyeom flinched in surprise, Taehee parted his lips slightly and bit gently at his forehead.

It did not hurt.

But the strange sensation of teeth pressing faintly into his skin made Jaegyeom turn his head away immediately.

“So now you think you can do whatever you want?”

Yoon Taehee only smiled soundlessly and lay down beside him.

“Then I’ll sleep here too.”

“What?”

Jaegyeom frowned and turned to look at him.

Sleeping outside like this would obviously be uncomfortable. There was no reason for two grown men to lie pressed together on a narrow wooden porch—

And more importantly—

“Hey. Go sleep inside.”

“Why?”

“You’ll get frostbite sleeping out here.”

The concern slipped out naturally before he could stop it.

“Am I the only one here with a mouth?”

The reply was polite and rude at the same time.

Jaegyeom narrowed his eyes.

Seriously, every time this bastard opened his mouth—

“Just go sleep inside while I’m still asking nicely.”

“Why? Are you uncomfortable sleeping beside a sodomite?”

Jaegyeom paused.

Ah.

Right.

That too.

But still, that wasn’t really the issue—

“Your body’s weak.”

Jaegyeom added gravely.

“You’ll end up having a stroke.”

“A stroke?”

Resting his head against his folded arm, Yoon Taehee buried his face briefly and laughed.

Jaegyeom frowned harder.

“Why are you laughing? You think I’m making it up? It really happens.”

He was just about to tell him about some old villager he had once seen with a crooked mouth in order to properly warn him—

when suddenly, a strange sense of déjà vu washed over him.

This felt familiar somehow.

As Jaegyeom carefully traced back through his memories, realization struck him.

Ah.

This had happened before.

In a dream.

He had said these exact same things to Yoon Taehee in that dream.

And in that dream—

I dreamed about you every day...

Another sentence surfaced immediately afterward.

It means I love you.

Silence lingered for a moment.

Then Jaegyeom spoke.

“Hey.”

After calling out, he hesitated without continuing.

Yoon Taehee did not rush him.

He simply waited.

After a long while, Jaegyeom finally asked quietly:

“Why do you like me?”

The question came out like drunken rambling.

Yoon Taehee, who had been staring absently at the night sky, froze slightly before slowly turning his head toward him.

“...”

From Jaegyeom’s turned back came a low voice.

“You said you love me.”

Thinking back on it, Jaegyeom genuinely did not understand.

They had never been especially kind to each other. Every time they met, they fought, swore, argued, and irritated one another endlessly.

So why?

Why did you like me?

What exactly did you even like about me?

And what was this feeling in his chest that made him not want to be deceived?

“I don’t really know.”

Jaegyeom’s voice grew quieter.

“I’ve never liked anyone before. And nobody’s ever said they liked me either. So you’re strange to me.”

The boy who had once been betrayed by the person he trusted most had spent years shutting himself away from the world.

He avoided roads where people passed.

He hated everyone he encountered.

Ghosts. Ordinary people. Gwijae.

All of them.

His heart had long ago turned into something close to hell itself. How could someone like that possibly know how to give or receive affection?

“How did you know?”

Jaegyeom asked.

“How did you know you liked me?”

Even drunk, he truly wanted to understand.

After a long silence, Yoon Taehee answered quietly:

“Because it kept hurting.”

“...”

“That’s how I knew.”

Because it kept hurting.

That’s how I knew.

That’s how I ached.

Jaegyeom turned the words over slowly in his head.

Knew.

Ached.

He could not tell which one fit better.

In truth, neither of them fully made sense to him.

Still... somehow, it resembled what Shin Jihye had once told him.

That love was simply something you realized one day.

Without noticing how.

“...”

After lying silently for some time, Jaegyeom suddenly spoke again.

“Are you going to contact her?”

“Contact who?”

“You know. The grandmother who gave you her number.”

The unexpected topic made Yoon Taehee pause.

Looking at Jaegyeom with surprise, he asked:

“Why? Were you worried?”

At once, Jaegyeom’s shoulders twitched slightly.

“...”

After a brief silence, he snapped irritably:

“Stop nitpicking and answer.”

“I’m not going to contact her.”

Yoon Taehee answered obediently enough.

“Why would I?”

“She told you to call her no matter what.”

“I think she only said that because I’m young.”

Jaegyeom replied flatly.

“She didn’t say it to me. Only to you.”

“That’s because I told her I like older people.”

That definitely wasn’t the only reason.

“She likes you.”

Yoon Taehee murmured emotionlessly:

“Does she?”

Then quietly:

“I wonder why.”

Jaegyeom answered with a sullen face:

“Because you’re handsome.”

At that moment, Yoon Taehee’s elegant fingertips twitched faintly.

“...”

He stared fixedly at Jaegyeom before slowly sitting upright.

His eyes blinked several times, as though replaying the words in disbelief.

Leaning closer, he asked carefully:

“Am I handsome?”

“...What?”

Jaegyeom looked up at him with open annoyance.

Why was he asking again?

With an irritated expression, he turned fully toward him.

Then suddenly, with a blank look on his face, Jaegyeom reached out and grabbed Yoon Taehee’s chin.

Turning his face left and right without ceremony, he inspected him closely as though examining an object.

Finally, after finishing his inspection, Jaegyeom narrowed his eyes.

“You’re ridiculously handsome.”

Yoon Taehee’s eyes widened slowly.

Jaegyeom let go of his chin with an expression that plainly asked, Satisfied now? Then he lay back down comfortably, folding his arms beneath his head as he stared up at the night sky again.

“...”

Yoon Taehee gazed at him blankly before smiling faintly.

“...I see.”

He lay down beside Jaegyeom once more.

For a long time, both of them simply watched the waning moon hanging in the dark sky overhead.

Then eventually, as though speaking in passing, Yoon Taehee murmured:

“Then will you kiss me?”

Jaegyeom narrowed his eyes and glared at him as though asking whether he had completely lost his mind.

Yoon Taehee chuckled softly.

The crickets chirped somewhere far away.

Waves rolled faintly in the darkness.

The cool wind carried the scent of the approaching season.

Jaegyeom’s eyes gradually drifted shut.

Beside him, Yoon Taehee slowly closed his eyes as well.

Then—

At some point, Yoon Taehee opened them again.

He had felt movement beside him.

Jaegyeom, who had been lying an arm’s length away, suddenly pushed himself upright.

“What?”

Yoon Taehee tilted his head slightly.

He had assumed Jaegyeom had fallen asleep already.

But instead, Jaegyeom climbed over him.

“...”

For one brief instant, Yoon Taehee forgot to breathe.

Straddling his waist, Jaegyeom stared down at him blankly. Then he shoved both hands roughly into Taehee’s hair as though rummaging through it.

His eyes half-lidded with drunkenness, Jaegyeom slowly lowered his head.

Ah.

Only then did Yoon Taehee’s eyes widen fully.

“What are you doing?”

Jaegyeom answered sluggishly, eyes half closed.

“...What?”

“You told me to kiss you.”

Their noses brushed lightly together.

Then, in a low voice, Jaegyeom muttered:

“Close your eyes.”