Honbul: Flame of the Soul

“Whether you get left behind or not, what does that have to do with me?”

Jaegyeom glared at Yoon Taehee with reddened eyes.

“I don’t care about you.”

At that moment, the corner of Yoon Taehee’s eye twitched faintly.

“...”

Yoon Taehee knew Jaegyeom was being deliberately cruel. He understood, rationally, that Jaegyeom was trying to push him away.

Even so, he heard something crack inside his chest.

“You expect me to believe that?”

After a long silence, Yoon Taehee asked.

“Then what was all that?”

Unless he was a fool, there was no way he could have failed to notice.

The moment Jaegyeom stopped avoiding his kisses.

The moment Jaegyeom kissed him first.

The confession that he had dreamed of Taehee.

The admission that he had been curious about him since the first time they met.

The way Jaegyeom no longer pulled away when their shoulders touched.

The promise that next time, they should go to the island together.

All the moments Yoon Taehee vaguely called “that” could not help but look like love.

Even so, Jaegyeom desperately wanted the lush forest inside his heart to have been nothing more than a mirage.

That forest had already burned to ashes.

Jaegyeom decided to deceive himself. He would believe that the ashes meant the forest had never existed in the first place.

Without anyone knowing, Jaegyeom killed his own heart.

“I was just playing along with your pathetic little love game.”

Yoon Taehee gave a faint laugh and lowered his head.

For some reason, he could not lift it again.

He had thought that perhaps, because of him, Jaegyeom might have wanted to live a little more.

“Is that all?”

“That’s all.”

Yoon Taehee, who had been silent for a long time, finally moved his lips.

“You never wavered, not even once?”

At the quiet question, Jaegyeom hesitated.

“You never wavered because of me? Not even once?”

He had.

How could he not have?

“...”

But Jaegyeom could not open his heart honestly.

“There’s nothing I want more than death.”

For Jaegyeom, tomorrow was merely a continuation of the same repetitive today.

The future that had yet to arrive had always been tedious and monotonous. It had never been frightening.

And Jaegyeom knew exactly where this fear that had swallowed him whole had come from.

So after keeping his mouth shut for a long moment, Jaegyeom slowly spoke.

“I don’t need anything else.”

It was an answer that missed the question by half a step.

But it was enough to hurt Yoon Taehee.

Yoon Taehee, who had been looking down, finally let go of Jaegyeom’s wrist.

“...You know.”

He raised his eyes and looked at Jaegyeom.

“I didn’t know what it meant to be miserable.”

Slowly, Yoon Taehee lifted his hand and placed his palm against Jaegyeom’s cheek.

Jaegyeom flinched and leaned back, but Taehee only kept his hand there without doing anything else.

“But now I know. Because that’s what I am right now.”

Jaegyeom only stared at him in silence.

“After meeting you, I learned what it means to be miserable.”

Jaegyeom’s eyes wavered for a brief instant.

But before Yoon Taehee could notice it, Jaegyeom turned away.

Leaving Yoon Taehee behind, he began walking without hesitation.

In the end, Yoon Taehee could not stop him. 𝑓𝑟ℯ𝘦𝓌𝘦𝘣𝑛𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓁.𝑐ℴ𝓂

The sunset fell over the lake.

Yoon Taehee watched Jaegyeom’s retreating back, then lowered his head.

Looking down at the long shadow stretched beneath his feet, Yoon Taehee closed his eyes.

A shabby, discarded love lay rolling at his feet.

With the fading evening sky behind him, Yoon Taehee stood there for a long time.

***

The pavilion deep in the mountains was unusually noisy today.

Today was a day for receiving guests.

A day for receiving guests usually meant the day the Leader came.

A guest was already waiting in the opposite room, but the Leader had not arrived yet.

Paehyeon was holding his post in the room where the Leader usually stayed, waiting for him. He dusted the bookshelves while keeping an ear out for movement.

It was about time for the Leader to arrive.

Before long, the door flew open and the Leader appeared, wearing a baseball cap.

“Leader, you’re here.”

Paehyeon, who had been standing behind the bookshelf, stepped out and bowed.

“Hello.”

Then Paehyeon’s eyes widened at the sight of him.

“Leader... your face...”

How long had it been since he had left the hospital?

The Leader’s face was a mess. It was not merely bruised in several places; scabs had formed here and there as well.

“There was a reason.”

The Leader dropped into the chair with a thud and answered dismissively.

Paehyeon was about to say something more, but the Leader cut him off.

“Open the window.”

Paehyeon quietly studied the Leader’s mood.

Something about him was strange today.

Rather than being in a bad mood, he looked somehow lonely. Depressed.

Just then, the sound of someone running down the corridor reached them. It was the sound of someone rushing over in one breath after hearing that the Leader had arrived.

Sure enough, with a cry of “Leader!” the door burst open.

As it swung wide, a small intelligent ghost with a bowl cut stood there grinning.

It was none other than Yeonok.

Beside her was Saero, who had apparently been dragged along while doing origami with Yeonok.

“Leader, you’re here!”

Saero bowed politely.

And then—

“...Huh?”

Yeonok’s expression changed the instant she saw the Leader’s face.

Although half of it was hidden beneath the baseball cap, even Yeonok could see that his beautiful, delicate face had been beaten into a wreck.

“Our Yeonok is here?”

The Leader greeted her and scooped Yeonok into his arms.

Yeonok naturally wrapped one arm around his neck, then rudely yanked off his ❀ Nоvеlігht ❀ (Don’t copy, read here) baseball cap with the other.

“Leader! What happened to your face?”

With tears in her eyes, Yeonok grabbed the Leader’s cheeks.

“Does it hurt?”

“Yes. It hurts.”

“Who beat you up like this?”

“Yes. I got beaten up like this.”

Yeonok sniffled.

“Who was it...?”

Yeonok, who adored the Leader, was furious.

There were occasional days when he returned injured, but this was the first time he had ever appeared with his face ruined like this. Yeonok began crying, fussing, and throwing an outright tantrum.

“Tell me who did it. Yeonok will punish them.”

Yeonok rolled across the floor, kicking up a storm.

“Tell me! Who did it?”

Paehyeon sent Saero a look.

Saero quickly said, “Y-Yeonok... come here,” and led Yeonok outside.

From the corridor came Yeonok’s whining cries.

“Huuung... tell me... let Yeonok punish them herself—...”

The Leader gave a quiet laugh at the voice echoing down the hall.

But it lasted only a moment.

The faint smile remaining on his face soon disappeared.

Resting his chin on one hand, the Leader looked out the window.

“Leader, the client is waiting in the opposite room.”

Paehyeon spoke quietly to the Leader, who had fallen into thought.

“Send them back. I didn’t come here to receive guests today.”

The Leader had not been in any state to receive guests from the beginning.

“However...”

Paehyeon hesitated.

“The person who came today was originally supposed to come two months ago. They came again ten days ago, but they could not meet you and had to return. If they make another wasted trip this time...”

Before Paehyeon could finish, the Leader grabbed the teacup on the table and threw it.

The porcelain cup struck the wall with a sharp crash and shattered.

“Either shut up or get out.”

Expressionless, the Leader added,

“Both would be even better.”

Paehyeon closed his mouth.

It meant he was not to disturb the Leader’s mood any further.

After quietly gauging the Leader’s state, Paehyeon spoke with a grave expression.

“I apologize. I will handle the matter appropriately, send them back, and promise them another visit.”

He bowed deeply and left the room.

The Leader lightly swept back the bangs that had fallen over his forehead, then turned his gaze away with an unnecessarily impassive expression.

After looking out the window for a while, he took out a cigarette.

He lit it with a match lying nearby.

Then he carelessly tossed the burnt matchstick aside.

The Leader crossed his legs and slowly smoked in a bored posture, chin propped on one hand.

“Black Emperor.”

As soon as the name was called, Black Emperor appeared without a sound.

“There was someone named Myojeong about two hundred years ago. Find out everything you can about him.”

“Yes. Understood.”

As always, the Leader liked Black Emperor’s taciturnity.

After putting out the half-smoked cigarette, the Leader took his cell phone from his pocket.

His fingers moved a few times.

Soon, a photo filled the entire screen.

It was a photo of him and Jaegyeom, taken with the blue sea of Geoyeodo behind them.

In the photo, Jaegyeom was looking up at Yoon Taehee beside him.

Yoon Taehee remembered those eyes.

Eyes filled completely with him.

It had only been a short while ago, yet it felt like something from the distant past.

Almost as though it might have been a dream.

“...”

Yoon Taehee did not know exactly why Jaegyeom had decided to die, or what had triggered it.

He could only guess that Jaegyeom’s heart had perhaps broken at some point, and that he had wanted to let everything go.

It was difficult to keep moving forward without any certainty that the goal could be reached.

Although he had tried to pull Jaegyeom in with the single intention of breaking the curse of immortality, for Jaegyeom, who had already lost hope once, starting over from the beginning to search for a solution must have felt impossibly distant.

Thinking that way, Yoon Taehee had believed that if a new breakthrough appeared, Jaegyeom might take his hand again.

He had hoped he might be able to reclaim Jaegyeom’s heart, which had already turned firmly away.

But even when a new path appeared, he could not change Jaegyeom’s decision.

With that, Yoon Taehee had no cards left to play.

Looking at the photo for a long time, Yoon Taehee slowly typed a message.

[Fine]

[You win]

The recipient was Jaegyeom.

He had to admit it now.

Yoon Taehee had no way left to stop Jaegyeom.

Still staring at the photo of himself and Jaegyeom on his phone, Yoon Taehee finally let his upper body collapse forward.

“Black Emperor.”

Lying against the table as he looked at the photo, Yoon Taehee opened his mouth.

“We’re changing the plan.”

Black Emperor, who stood nearby, asked quietly,

“In what way?”

Yoon Taehee set the phone down and rested his chin on the table, closing his eyes.

“...”

He remained silent for a long time, cheek pressed against his arm.

“That mask the director of the Office of Narye is said to have.”

His voice was low.

“It originally belonged to the Bangsangsi, didn’t it? Then what if, before we make our move, the Bangsangsi beats us to it and gets the mask first? That would cause problems for our plan, wouldn’t it?”

Jaegyeom.

I’m so miserable.

I’m miserable because I like you.

So—

“We’ll mobilize Byeoksadan and seize the Bangsangsi mask first.”

Let’s be miserable together.