Honbul: Flame of the Soul

“The current Office of Narye is not humane.”

At Hwirim’s words, Suhyang’s eyes narrowed faintly.

“Not humane?”

Suhyang slammed the cup in his hand down on the table.

“How can you say such a thing when you know how much harm ghosts bring? Ghosts are impurities that defy the natural order. How can you use them as the basis for discussing the mind of the living?”

Suhyang stared at Hwirim with a stern expression.

“If fruit has pests in it, it is right to cut them out. If fermented soy sauce is teeming with maggots, it is only natural to scoop them away.”

“Pests in fruit and maggots in soy sauce are also things born from the harmony of heaven and earth. How can you call them right or wrong merely by looking at them on their own?”

“Are you seriously saying that some ghost is more important than a living life?”

“That is not what I mean.”

“Hwirim, you are denying the Office of Narye right now.”

“I am not denying it. I simply think this is not my path.”

“Have you forgotten what we struggled for in order to come this far?”

Suhyang’s eyes turned cold.

The conversation, which had been as calm as a still lake, flared into an argument. The gazes the two exchanged were as frigid as thin ice. Once, they had stood in the same place. At some point, however, they had passed each other by, and now they were moving farther and farther apart in opposite directions.

“Myojeong, say something.”

Suhyang spoke with disappointment plain in his voice.

But Myojeong said nothing.

What meaning would there be in anything he said? Myojeong had neither the courage nor the confidence to hold on to her.

Myojeong had been sitting in his office since early morning.

The sky was clear, without a single cloud, making it an unusually fine day. With listless eyes, Myojeong stared at the pile of books on his desk. Scrolls containing reports on the movements of ghosts rampaging through each province were heaped across it. In the afternoon, he had a meeting with the elders of the Office of Narye, and with foreign envoys due to arrive soon, he had to hurry and prepare for the palace Narye to be held that day. And also...

As Myojeong ran through his to-do list, he slumped forward over the desk.

“My lord.”

Just then, an aide came to deliver a message.

“A letter has arrived from Officer Yi Chiwon of the Pyeong-an Province Inspection Bureau. It says that because of the recent great famine, stray ghosts have increased, and a plague-bearing ghost is running rampant. It moves from house to house every night, spreading disease, and the sick are appearing in droves. He has sent a request asking that countermeasures be prepared at once.”

After finishing his report, the aide waited for Myojeong’s reply.

But Myojeong offered no response.

For several days now, Myojeong had been suffering from an inexplicable lethargy. To be precise, it had begun on the day Hwirim informed him that she would resign and leave. The argument that day had ended without anyone yielding. And Myojeong knew. Hwirim would leave, and the three of them would never be together again.

Once he realized that, he lost all motivation.

Rare delicacies no longer excited him. Interesting texts no longer held his attention. Even magnificent scenery stirred nothing in him.

“My lord, what shall we do?”

No matter how long he waited, his superior remained silent, so the aide spoke cautiously. Myojeong, who had been lying face down without a word for a long while, finally replied without sincerity.

“Assemble those skilled in talismans and secret arts, and send them as reinforcements.”

He had thought it would be fine as long as he was not greedy. He had tried not to wish for more.

Myojeong had thought the moment he put a period on this life would be the moment he parted from Hwirim. But the time for farewell had come much sooner than Myojeong had expected.

He felt he could not simply stand by and do nothing.

After agonizing in sorrow, Myojeong went to find Hwirim. Using the excuse that he had to go to the market, he asked whether she would accompany him, and Hwirim readily nodded.

Myojeong walked side by side with Hwirim.

“When did you say you were leaving?”

“Tomorrow.”

The words Can’t you stay? rose to the tip of his tongue, but after hesitating for a moment, Myojeong forced them back down. He asked whether she had found a place to stay. Hwirim calmly replied that surely there would be at least one place for her.

“Oh, have you heard that story?”

Hwirim told him a rumor about a vicious evil ghost that had appeared, bringing a red mist with it.

“Perhaps it is a calamity god.”

“A calamity god?”

“Yes. They say it is so powerful it cannot be compared to an ordinary plague ghost.”

“Is such a thing truly happening?”

He wondered why such a story had not yet reached his ears.

At that, Hwirim also looked surprised and asked whether he truly had never heard the rumor.

“If it comes as far as the capital, it will surely bring great misfortune to the country, so you must be especially careful.”

The peculiar details Hwirim added were that this being called a calamity god had the appearance of a child, and that it brought a red mist with it. Among ordinary people, the rumor that an ominous evil ghost had descended was already widespread. It was said that wherever the evil ghost passed, plague and famine were sure to follow, plants withered, and the soil rotted until entire villages fell to ruin.

Hwirim was speaking in a rather serious tone, but Myojeong’s attention was entirely elsewhere.

His mind was filled with a single thought.

What could he say to make Hwirim stay?

He would not be able to see her after tomorrow, and yet Hwirim seemed unshaken. If he could have done as he pleased, he would have begged her not to abandon him. But Myojeong had no justification with which to hold on to Hwirim.

“Is life difficult for you, Hwirim?”

“Why are you suddenly asking such a thing?”

“I do not understand what it means to live at all.”

“Why worry about something like that?”

Hwirim laughed and looked back at Myojeong.

“That is just what life is. Even so, I think there must be a reason we were born like this. If we had been born as stones or trees, we would not know this kind of pain. But there must be a reason of its own for being born able to feel sorrow and injustice, loneliness and sadness, and to ache from all of it. Don’t you think?”

After a moment of silence, Myojeong hesitated for a long while before speaking.

“...If there were a fate you could never escape no matter what you did, what would you do, Hwirim?”

At Myojeong’s question, Hwirim fell into thought for a moment.

If humans were meant to live in submission to what was given to them, following some absolute current, they would have been born that way from the beginning. But heaven had made human beings into creatures that agonized so deeply and desired so much.

“Water flows from high places to low ones. A stream connects to a river, and at the end of the river is the sea. A fish will never be able to leave the water. But do you know something?”

“What?”

“There are fish called anadromous fish that swim upstream, against the current.”

After pausing for a moment, Hwirim looked up at Myojeong with clear eyes.

“Perhaps even defying that fate is, in itself, inevitable.”

After walking for quite some time, they arrived at the market.

Hwirim went from stall to stall, haggling without pretense and sometimes gesturing toward Myojeong as she said, “Look at this!”

Just then, a merchant nearby spoke to Myojeong.

“You have a good eye, my lord. This is a very rare piece.”

When he lowered his gaze, he saw various beautiful norigae displayed on the stall. The ornamental pendants, with their soft tassels, were very lovely and elegant. He could tell at a glance that they were valuable.

“If you have a sweetheart, you should give one to her as a gift. No woman would dislike it!”

As he listened to the merchant’s explanation, Myojeong found himself growing attentive. Then he glanced back at Hwirim. She was looking over goods a little distance away. Myojeong fiddled with one of the norigae.

He chose the prettiest and most expensive one.

On the way back after they had finished looking around the market, Myojeong handed the norigae to Hwirim. Hwirim’s eyes widened.

“What is this?”

“I bought it because I thought it would suit you.”

Myojeong’s heart was pounding like that of a clumsy boy, but he tried not to let it show as he spoke.

Hwirim accepted the norigae with a bewildered expression.

“I’ll make good use of it. I think it will look quite splendid hanging from my sword’s scabbard.”

That was not it.

That was not why I gave it to you.

Myojeong’s lips parted. He wanted to say that was not the meaning with which he had given it to her. Even a beautiful norigae, one that supposedly no woman would dislike, would become nothing more than an ornament to hang from a sword’s scabbard in Hwirim’s hands.

“The truth is, you know everything...”

Myojeong spoke to Hwirim’s back as she moved away, one step, then another.

“I know that you know. And I know that you are deliberately pretending not to.”

Hwirim stopped dead in her tracks.

“I will pretend not to know, too, so can’t we stay together like this, as friends?”

Myojeong had never thought he was asking for much.

He was even envious of her boldness, of her freedom to choose her life as her heart desired. If Hwirim had said, “Let’s quit everything and go together,” Myojeong was certain he would gladly abandon everything and follow her.

A silence that felt like an eternity stretched between them.

Myojeong lowered his gaze. It was a confession he had tried to make as calmly as possible, but the moment the words left his lips, emotion surged inside him and his throat grew hot.

He was about to confess the truth.

That he would not live long anyway. That he did not have much time left. So please, stay by his side at least until then.

He was about to add that desperate plea.

“Because I am a woman, I cannot remain by your side as a friend.”

Hwirim slowly turned and stood facing Myojeong.

“I’m sorry. If only I were a man...”

If she were a bird, Myojeong would have wanted to break her wings and lock her in a cage.

But if he truly loved her, he had to wish for her freedom and release.

Myojeong silently bowed his head.

What hurt most was the fact that his existence was nothing but a hindrance and a burden to her.