Honbul: Flame of the Soul

“Just kill me. Please.”

After those words, a long silence settled over the room.

Jaegyeom braced himself with both hands on the sink. Then he turned his head and looked at the two of them before giving a faint, crooked smile.

“What’s with those faces? I was just saying it.”

Standing at a slant, he turned on the faucet. A cool stream of water came rushing down into the sink. With slow hands, Jaegyeom began to wash up. There was hardly anything to wash anyway. Just one spoon and one rice bowl. As he carefully rinsed the thick white ceramic bowl, he suddenly stopped.

With his hands submerged in the running water, Jaegyeom murmured in a low voice.

“You both know it too.”

Crash!

A violent shattering sound exploded from inside the sink.

“Jaegyeom!”

Jeongju snapped to his senses and ran to him. He looked into the sink and sucked in a breath. The rice bowl had shattered into pieces. Jaegyeom, leaning one arm against the sink, bowed his head hard and clenched his teeth. In his fist, he was crushing the broken shards.

“Even if this went into my throat instead of my hand, I still wouldn’t die.”

Jeongju’s face turned deathly pale as he seized Jaegyeom’s wrist. When he forced open the fist, the ceramic shards embedded in his flesh dropped away with dull taps. Bright blood streamed down his forearm. Startled, Jeongju grabbed him roughly and pulled him away. Jaegyeom came without resistance.

Blood welled from his palm. The cut was so deep the inner flesh showed through.

Jaegyeom only looked down at the wound with no expression at all. It had to hurt terribly, yet he remained utterly calm. Mesan clutched his hand, unable even to cry out, and simply burst into tears.

“M-Mesan! Hurry...!”

Jeongju urged him in a frantic voice. Mesan, sobbing openly, raised a hand trembling like a leaf. In a rush, he sent a cluster of light spilling over the wound. The blood that had been pouring onto the floor slowly began to stop.

Then Jaegyeom abruptly pulled his hand back.

“M-My lord, please don’t... please, your hand...”

Even if it looked healed on the surface, the deeply cut flesh underneath still had not fully closed. With his face wet through, Mesan tugged helplessly at Jaegyeom’s clothes. Ignoring him, Jaegyeom tried to stand. Jeongju caught hold of him in alarm.

“Jaegyeom, please. At least let us treat the wound first...”

“Do you pity me?”

Jaegyeom coldly shook off Jeongju’s hand.

“Is that it? You pity me because I can’t die, because I can’t grow old, because I’m stuck shut up inside this house? I don’t even pity myself, so why do you pity me? I think you’re the pitiful ones. The ones who spend their lives cleaning up after me. Do you think I can’t live without you? I can’t die anyway.”

“Jaegyeom! What are you saying right now...!”

“I’ve stabbed myself through the chest too. I’ve gone days without a single sip of water. I’ve starved. I’ve thrown myself off high cliffs. And I’m still alive like this. No matter what I do, I can’t fucking die, so...!”

Jaegyeom got to his feet and stopped in front of the closed bedroom door. He reached out with his bloodstained hand and turned the knob. As he stepped into the dark room, he half turned his head and added in a low voice,

“Stop hanging around me for no reason. Go live however you want. I’ll do the same.”

*****

It was early morning, before the traces of dawn had fully faded.

The Faculty Office was thick with the scent of strong coffee. The tiny break area tucked into one corner was crowded with teachers who had come in early. Teachers started work far earlier than most office workers, and for them, morning tea time was practically a lifeline.

“Seriously, nobody knew? How does he have a celebrity for an uncle?”

“That was the first time in my life I’d ever seen a celebrity in person.”

“I heard Teacher Choi went into the bathroom yesterday and cried.”

The teachers sipped their coffee and whispered among themselves. Normally the main topic would have been their everyday lives, but not today. Calling in a student guardian only to have a working celebrity show up had caused an unprecedented uproar in the history of Daeryung High. Students and faculty alike had spent all of yesterday talking about nothing else.

“The whole school’s in chaos. Total chaos.”

At that moment, the dean of discipline appeared, rolling his head from side to side, dark circles under his eyes. Maybe because he had suffered one headache after another all day yesterday, he looked especially exhausted today. The middle-aged disciplinary teacher, who liked mingling with the younger staff, tore open a green tea packet and slipped naturally into the group.

“Ahem. I’m probably the one who saw him up close the most. He really was handsome.”

The dean of discipline slipped the boast in with a needless cough. The teachers all looked at him with envy and immediately started pelting him with questions. A celebrity showing up out of nowhere was an enormous event. But since he had come not as a celebrity, but as a guardian, and because he had been called in over something unpleasant, everyone was also keeping things quiet in public.

Given the circumstances, all anyone had managed was watching from a distance. People complained that, after finally seeing a celebrity in real life, they had not even gotten an autograph, much less a handshake. The dean of discipline wore a secretly smug expression as he launched into his review of the celebrity in person.

“Oh! Mr. Yoon, you’re here early.”

The teachers greeted Yoon Taehee warmly as he approached without a sound.

“Good morning.”

Taehee smiled and gave them a light nod. He was wearing a black shirt with a mandarin collar and stood holding a mug in one hand. The mug was covered all over in tiny cute ribbons. It was a babyish design that did not suit his dark, composed clothes at all.

Since Taehee was always stationed in the library, he only came down to the Faculty Office now and then. Several times a day, though, he would come down, fill that ribbon-covered mug with coffee, and go back up again. He would set the kettle to boil, wait for the water, and exchange a few words naturally with whatever teachers were nearby, so by now everyone knew his face.

“There’s still some coffee left. Want me to pour you some?”

“No, thank you.”

“It’s still warm. I just brewed it.”

One of the teachers held out a glass pot still half full of coffee. Smiling politely, Taehee declined.

“Thank you, but I only drink instant.”

“Oh, really?”

“I like sweet things.”

Taehee opened two packets of instant coffee and emptied them into his mug. The dean of discipline drifted over and lightly bumped his shoulder against Taehee’s in what was apparently meant as a friendly gesture. He had liked Taehee from the first moment he saw him.

“Mr. Yoon, come down to the Faculty Office more often. The whole place comes alive whenever you show up. A young, handsome man needs to make appearances now and then so the rest of the teachers can find the will to work. Right?”

Taehee laughed soundlessly. A shallow dimple appeared in one cheek.

“You flatter me.”

“Hah-hah, honestly. Mr. Yoon, I know I’m being nosy, but I’ve just been too curious. Let me ask, just in case. Are you seeing anyone?”

As the dean of discipline whispered with a shameless grin, the other teachers’ eyes all swung to Taehee at once. He was one of the few young people in the school, after all. They had all been curious.

Taehee understood the meaning of the roundabout question immediately. Deliberately putting on a faintly bashful air, he smiled.

“Not at the moment.”

“What? No way. A face like yours, and people are just leaving you alone?”

“Haha, sir, stop. You’re embarrassing him.”

Taehee smiled quietly and poured the boiling water into his mug. Fragrant steam billowed up. In the warm, cheerful atmosphere, the dean of discipline lowered his voice a little.

“Come on now, did I say anything wrong? I’m saying this with all my personal bias taken out of it. That celebrity uncle who came yesterday was handsome too, sure, but he looked better on screen. In person, our Mr. Yoon is way more handsome.”

Taehee, who had been stirring his coffee with a teaspoon, looked up.

“A celebrity came yesterday?”

“Oh, right. You were up in the library, so you wouldn’t know.”

The dean of discipline swallowed a loud mouthful of green tea and picked up the story.

“There’s a kid in second year, Kim Jaegyeom. A transfer student. Well, that Kim Jaegyeom got into a fight and the whole school went upside down. So we called in his guardian, and I’m telling you, a celebrity showed up.”

The hand stirring the coffee came to a dead stop.

“But Jaegyeom was a surprise too. He’s so quiet in class, I thought he was a meek kid. And if you’ve got a famous person in the family, don’t most people try to keep their heads down? He’s got nerve.”

“Seriously. That Lee Juyeol kid has always been loud, hasn’t he? Teacher Jin-gyeong had him as a homeroom student last year and was completely sick of him. I thought maybe he’d calmed down a little after changing grades, but apparently not.”

The topic, which had almost faded, flared right back up. Wearing an expression of utter exasperation, the dean of discipline started recounting what had happened in the reception room, and the other teachers pricked up their ears. Everyone was engrossed in the not-quite-a-heroic-tale.

Then, while quietly listening and sipping his coffee, Taehee suddenly spoke.

“So which one of them threw the first punch?”

All the teachers’ gazes stabbed toward him at once.

“......”

“......”

“......”

The conversation stopped cold, as if someone had thrown a bucket of ice water over it. His tone had been as polite and courteous as ever, but the question itself was oddly violent. Taehee raised his mug to his lips with a tranquil expression. While everyone else stared in surprise, he lifted one brow and took a sip.

“Ahem. Well, from what I heard, Kim Jaegyeom went at him the moment he walked into the classroom.”

Just as the mood was beginning to turn awkward, the dean of discipline cleared his throat and continued in a deliberately casual voice. A smile spread across Taehee’s lips where they touched the mug. He looked like a man who had just heard something entertaining. Smiling soundlessly, he murmured in passing,

“As expected. Adorable.”

The teachers could only stare in surprise.

“Really? Juyeol didn’t hit him first?”

“Oh wow. That’s really unexpected.”

“Judging by the situation, it looked to me like he’d finally snapped after holding it in for a long time. So I asked him indirectly if Lee Juyeol had done something wrong. But no matter how many times I asked, that Kim Jaegyeom just wouldn’t answer.”

The dean of discipline’s expression dimmed slightly.

“I’m guessing they must’ve had trouble a few times already. Kim Jaegyeom doesn’t look it, but that kid’s temper is no joke. Hah. Seriously. I didn’t realize it at first either, but he really did a number on me.”

The dean of discipline laughed bitterly.

Not long ago, he had abandoned the hairstyle he had kept for years. Just as you could not cover the sky with your palm, hiding a barren crown with side hair did not change the essence ❖ Nоvеl𝚒ght ❖ (Exclusive on Nоvеl𝚒ght) of things. He had been angry and resentful at first, but it was true.

Maybe that was why.

The dean of discipline found himself oddly concerned about Jaegyeom. The kid was bold and insolent, but thinking back on it, there had been something about that nerve of his he genuinely liked. Because of that, he found himself hoping Jaegyeom would become even more shameless, just as he had when he fearlessly tilted his chin up in front of him that day.

But Jaegyeom had only stood there and quietly accepted every arrow aimed at him.

And with that, the opposing parent had only grown more aggressive, unleashing a torrent of verbal abuse under the guise of a forceful complaint. As a parent himself, the dean could understand how they felt. Their child could easily have been badly hurt.

But even so, he thought, that did not mean Jaegyeom had any reason to sit there and listen to it.

As a parent, he could not help thinking that too.

So when he heard the news that Lee Juyeol had come back from the hospital with nothing wrong, he had felt relieved, but furious all the same.

“When kids are together, they scrap once in a while. Good grief. They made a bigger fuss than you’d believe. Even the vice principal was sweating bullets. I mean, if a bone really had been broken, with parents like that? Whew. I don’t even want to imagine it. Since they both gave as good as they got, I guess both of them get campus service. That’s that.”

When he finished, the dean of discipline let out a deep sigh. He felt as though he had aged ten years in a single day.

In the end, it looked as if it would all be neatly wrapped up as one light fight between two students who had both done wrong together. The teachers started joking under their breath about calling Jeongju in one more time under the excuse of another guardian meeting, or asking Ms. Seo to get an autograph if he came again.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake! Listen to me rambling.”

Then the dean of discipline checked his wristwatch and nearly jumped.

“When did it get this late already? It’s almost time for the kids to start arriving. I need to get downstairs and take up my post.”

He gulped down the rest of his green tea in a rush. Then the other teachers also began wrapping up their chat one by one and heading back to their places. Taehee, who had blended naturally into the group, left the Faculty Office too, holding his mug. The dean, hurrying back to his spot, set his cup down and picked up his pool cue. The pool cue was essential equipment for morning student guidance.

He grabbed the familiar cue and hurriedly opened the Faculty Office door to go out.

“Sir.”

Someone popped out from beside the door.

“Jesus—!”

Startled out of his skin, the dean let out a yelp and clutched his precious pool cue.

“Mr. Yoon. You nearly scared me to death! You haven’t gone back up yet?”

“There’s something I wanted to ask you.”

“Huh? Oh. Sure. What is it?”

The dean nodded, settling his pounding heart. Standing there with the dainty mug in hand, Taehee softened his eyes. Brushing back the hair that had fallen over his forehead, he leaned in and whispered like he was sharing a secret.

“Campus service.”