The Scumbag's Guide To Heroism

Grande Dame stood at our table, her perfect smile calculated for maximum camera effect. That smile had launched a thousand brand deals and convinced half of California she was worth her number fourteen ranking despite causing property damage in the millions.

"Guess I’ll have to introduce myself," she said, extending a manicured hand my way. "Since your girlfriend lacks basic manners."

I took her hand. Her grip was firm but perfectly calibrated not to hurt. Everything about Grande Dame was calibrated.

"Lukas Belmont," I said, watching her eyes widen slightly at my last name.

"Belmont? As in Vanguard and Reina Belmont?" Grande Dame released my hand, her violet eyes suddenly more attentive. "Their son?"

"The very same."

"I’d heard they had a child, but..." She glanced at Sloane, then back to me. "I didn’t know you were with the Fitzgeralds."

Sloane’s leg pressed against mine under the table. A warning.

"Diane took me in after they died," I explained.

Grande Dame’s smile shifted to something that approximated sympathy. "How generous of her. Though I suppose there was PR value in adopting a hero’s orphaned son."

Sloane nearly lunged across the table, but I caught her wrist.

"It wasn’t like that," I said firmly. "And I’d appreciate if you didn’t talk about my parents or Diane that way."

"Sensitive topic? My apologies." She didn’t sound sorry at all. "I just find it interesting that Diane Fitzgerald, who claims to value authenticity above all else, would—"

"Did you want something?" Sloane interrupted, her voice cold. "Or are you just here to ruin everyone’s day with your presence?"

Grande Dame laughed. "There’s that famous Fitzgerald charm. You know, your mother and I have history. Did she ever tell you?"

Sloane’s expression said she knew exactly what that history was.

"She auditioned for my agency two years ago," Grande Dame continued, addressing me now. "Wanted the Fitzgerald Media Group to handle my public image. I was on the rise, and she wanted a slice of that pie."

That didn’t sound right. Diane was selective about her clients, not desperate.

"That’s not how it happened," Sloane said through gritted teeth.

"No?" Grande Dame raised a perfect eyebrow. "Then how did it happen, sweetie?"

"You approached my mother," Sloane said. "Not the other way around. Your previous agency dropped you after that mall incident where you grew to full size and crashed through the food court because someone spilled coffee on your shoes."

Grande Dame’s smile froze.

"My mother declined to represent you," Sloane continued. "Said you weren’t what she was looking for in a client. Said you weren’t a real hero, just a walking liability with boobs."

Holy shit. I’d never seen Sloane go for the throat like that.

"Is that what she told you?" Grande Dame’s voice remained pleasant, but her eyes hardened. "Interesting narrative. Wrong, but interesting."

"Diane doesn’t lie," I said.

"Everyone lies, sweetie." Grande Dame’s attention returned to me, her smile warming again. "Though I’m more interested in you right now. An Aspect-user training for Halloran, dating the boss’s daughter... quite the little setup you’ve got."

〘 SIDE QUEST AVAILABLE: "SIZE MATTERS" 〙

〘 ERROR: TUTORIAL NOT COMPLETE - QUEST LOCKED 〙

Goddammit.

"It’s nice to meet you, Grande Dame," I said, trying to defuse the situation. "And yes, this is my girlfriend."

Sloane’s head whipped toward me, pink rushing to her cheeks. We hadn’t officially labeled anything yet. But I didn’t miss how her fingers intertwined with mine on the table.

"Hmm." Grande Dame looked between us, assessing. "Cute. Young love at the Fitzgerald estate. I’m sure Diane is thrilled."

"She is, actually," Sloane said, recovering quickly. "She’s very supportive."

"I bet she is." Grande Dame’s smile turned knowing. "Diane has always been... supportive... of the people in her household."

Something in her tone made my skin crawl. Did she know about Diane and me? No, that was impossible. But the way she said it...

"What’s your Aspect, Lukas?" Grande Dame asked, changing tack. "If you’re Halloran-bound, it must be something impressive."

"Force Manipulation," I replied. "Primarily telekinesis."

"Show me."

I blinked. "Here? Now?"

"Why not? I’m curious what the Belmont boy can do." She gestured to my soda cup. "Lift that."

I glanced at Sloane, who gave me a tiny nod. Fine.

I focused on the cup and extended a translucent amber construct from my palm. The spectral arm wrapped around the cup and lifted it about a foot off the table.

Grande Dame watched with apparent interest. "Interesting color. Most telekinetics project blue or white energy."

"He’s special," Sloane said.

"Clearly." Grande Dame’s eyes hadn’t left my face. "And you’re applying to Halloran with this?"

"That’s the plan."

"Ambitious. The entrance exam isn’t kind to Channelers with limited output."

"I’ll manage," I said.

"Confidence. I like that." She took out her phone. "Let’s get a picture together. My followers would love to see me mentoring the next generation."

Before I could respond, she’d moved to my side of the booth and slid in next to me, pressing her hip against mine. Her perfume was subtle but expensive, something floral with an undertone I couldn’t place. She held her phone up at the perfect selfie angle.

"Smile, hero-in-training," she said, her voice low and intimate.

I smiled as naturally as I could while her body pressed against my side. Sloane glared daggers from across the table.

"Perfect." Grande Dame checked the photo and nodded approvingly. "This’ll do nicely for my Community Outreach highlight reel. ’Meeting aspiring heroes at local hangouts.’"

She started typing on her phone, presumably uploading it to whatever social platform would earn her the most approval points.

"So Halloran," she continued, not moving away from me. "Tough place. Tougher entrance exam. You know they only take the top two percent of applicants?"

"I’m aware."

"And even if you get in, the dropout rate for the first year is almost twenty percent." She tilted her head, studying me. "You sure you’re ready for that?"

"He’s ready," Sloane answered for me. "He’s been training non-stop."

"How sweet. But I wasn’t asking you, pinkie." Grande Dame’s eyes stayed locked on mine. "What makes you think you can hack it at Halloran with telekinesis? It’s not exactly a rare power."

"It’s not about having a rare power," I said. "It’s about what you do with it."

She laughed. "That’s adorable. And completely wrong. The hero world runs on spectacle, darling. If you can’t wow them in the first five seconds, you’re already forgotten."

"Is that your professional philosophy?" I asked. "Size matters?"

"Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it." She winked. "My Paradigm Shift gets attention because it’s visual. People remember the giant woman who saved them. What will they remember about you?"