The Scumbag's Guide To Heroism

The remote hung in the air between us like evidence at a crime scene. I held it there with Spectral Reach, the pale amber construct extending invisibly from my hand while I tried not to look like a guy caught making out with his housemate’s daughter.

"Well," Diane repeated, her blue eyes tracking the floating remote, "this certainly explains a few things."

The tension cracked. Her shoulders relaxed as her lips curved into a genuine smile—the kind that rarely appeared in her agency profile photos. Something in my chest loosened. I’d expected suspicion or at least skepticism, not this immediate acceptance.

"How long?" she asked.

"Just today," Sloane answered before I could. "During training. I was pushing him hard and it just... happened."

I let the remote drop back onto the loveseat with a soft thump, making it look like maintaining the connection had become difficult. "Still getting used to it."

Diane stepped closer, her heels clicking against the hardwood floor. Her gaze swept over me with new interest, professional assessment replacing parental concern.

"Late manifestation. At seventeen." She shook her head, pink hair swaying with the movement. "The IHL will want to document this thoroughly. It’s not unprecedented, but it’s unusual enough to warrant a case study."

"That’s what I told him," Sloane said, her voice stronger now. "We’re going to register it tomorrow."

Diane nodded approvingly. "I’ll make some calls. Get you fast-tracked through the system." She turned to me fully. "What does it feel like?"

"Like finding a limb I didn’t know I had," I repeated the line I’d given Sloane earlier. It sounded good enough to use twice.

"Remarkable." Diane stepped closer still. "Have you named it yet? Classified the effect pattern?"

"Phantom Touch," I said. "Channeler-type. Telekinetic manipulation."

"Range?"

"About fifteen feet so far."

"Weight capacity?"

I hesitated, calculating quickly. "Small objects only. Books, remotes. Haven’t tried anything heavier."

Diane’s smile widened. She moved toward me with sudden purpose, and before I could react, she wrapped her arms around me in a tight embrace.

"I’m so happy for you, sugar," she said, her accent warming the words. "Nine years of waiting and here you are."

The hug caught me completely off guard. In all the time I’d been in this body—admittedly not long—Diane had never hugged me. From the stiffness in my shoulders and the unfamiliarity of the sensation, I’d guess the original Lukas hadn’t received many Diane Fitzgerald hugs either.

She smelled like expensive perfume and something subtle underneath—sandalwood maybe. Her body was warm against mine, curves pressing through the fabric of her suit.

〘 New Quest Alert! 〙

Oh no.

〘 EMERGENCY QUEST: FITZGERALD FOUNDATION 〙

〘 OBJECTIVE: Grope Diane Fitzgerald’s ass while she hugs you. 〙

〘 REWARD: 500 SP, Gold Gacha Pull 〙

〘 PENALTY: Your dick will temporarily shrink to 2" when viewed by anyone but you for the next month. 〙

〘 TIME REMAINING: 0:30 〙

〘 ACCEPT? Y/N 〙

〘 Y WILL BE AUTOMATICALLY SELECTED IN 5...4...3... 〙

What the fuck.

I frantically tried to reject the quest, my mind racing even as my body remained frozen in Diane’s embrace. But the countdown continued without mercy.

〘 ...2...1... 〙

〘 QUEST ACCEPTED! 〙

〘 TIME REMAINING: 0:29 〙

No no no no. This couldn’t be happening. Not Diane. Not the woman who’d taken me in after my parents died. Not while her daughter was literally standing three feet away after we’d just been caught making out.

But the clock was ticking down in my vision, a glowing red reminder of what awaited me if I failed.

〘 TIME REMAINING: 0:25 〙

Diane hadn’t released me yet. She was still talking, something about calling in a favor with the regional IHL director to expedite my registration, but the words washed over me in a meaningless blur. All I could focus on was the quest timer and the impossible task it demanded.

I couldn’t do this. It was wrong on every level. Diane wasn’t just Sloane’s mother; she was my guardian, the person who’d given me shelter and support for nine years.

〘 TIME REMAINING: 0:20 〙

But if I failed... two inches? For a month? The humiliation would be unbearable. What if Sloane and I continued whatever was happening between us? What if she saw? How would I explain it?

〘 Hesitation decreases success probability. Current window: optimal. 〙

Diane started to pull away, ending the hug. It was now or never.

God forgive me.

As her arms loosened around my shoulders, I let my right hand drop from her upper back to her lower back. Then, in a motion I tried to make look like an accidental slip during the hug’s release, I let my palm slide down and cup the curve of her ass.

Time froze. My heart stopped. My hand stayed there a millisecond too long to be accidental.

〘 QUEST COMPLETED! 〙

〘 REWARD: 500 SP, Gold Gacha Pull 〙

Diane went completely still. Her body tensed under my touch. For one terrible moment, I thought she was going to call me out right there, in front of Sloane, and everything would come crashing down around me.

Instead, she stepped back smoothly, her face revealing nothing as she adjusted her jacket with a casual flick of her wrist.

"Well," she said, her voice perfectly even, "this has been an eventful day for everyone."

Her eyes met mine for a split second, and something unreadable flashed across her face—not anger, exactly, but something more complicated. Then it was gone, replaced by her usual composed expression.

"I’ll leave you two to your... movie." Her gaze flicked to the screen, where the action scene had long since concluded. "Though perhaps you’d be better off in separate rooms for the remainder of the evening."

Sloane made a choked sound beside me. "Mom, it’s not—"

"Not what it looked like?" Diane arched an eyebrow. "Sugar, I built a career on reading rooms. That was exactly what it looked like." She smiled, but there was steel underneath. "We’ll discuss boundaries tomorrow, after we get Lukas registered."

She turned to leave, then paused at the door. "And Lukas?"

I swallowed hard. "Yes?"

"Congratulations on your manifestation. Truly. Your parents would have been proud."

With that parting shot, she was gone, the door closing quietly behind her.

As soon as she was out of earshot, I collapsed back onto the loveseat, my heart hammering against my ribs like it was trying to escape my chest.

"Holy shit," I whispered.

"I know," Sloane groaned, sinking down beside me. "That was mortifying."

If only she knew.

〘 NEW ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: DOUBLE TROUBLE 〙

〘 Successfully initiated physical contact with multiple heroines in a single day! 〙

〘 BONUS REWARD: 250 SP 〙

〘 NOTE: Subject Diane Fitzgerald’s Temptation Gauge has increased to 12%. 〙

I stared at the notification in horror. Diane’s gauge had gone up? From that? She should have slapped me, not—

"Are you even listening to me?" Sloane waved a hand in front of my face.

"Sorry, still processing getting caught by your mom."

"At least she seemed happy about your Aspect." Sloane tucked her legs underneath her, turning to face me. "That went better than expected."

Better than expected? I’d just groped her mother’s ass while being congratulated on a fake Aspect manifestation. If there was a special hell for transmigrants with gacha systems, I had just reserved a VIP suite.

"Yeah," I managed. "Real understanding of her."

Sloane studied me, her blue eyes narrowing slightly. "You look like you’re about to throw up."

"Just nervous about tomorrow." Not entirely a lie. "The registration, I mean."

"Don’t be," Sloane said, reaching over to squeeze my hand. "I’ll be with you the whole time. And Mom’s connections will make sure everything goes smoothly."

I nodded, trying to focus on her words instead of the burning shame in my gut. The system had just forced me to cross a line I would never have approached willingly. Diane Fitzgerald deserved better than to be treated like a quest objective.

〘 Subject Diane Fitzgerald’s stat profile indicates she found the contact intriguing rather than offensive. Her professional demeanor simply prevents visible reaction. 〙

Bullshit. There was no way she’d found it "intriguing." She was probably plotting my eviction right now.

"We should probably call it a night," Sloane said, interrupting my internal crisis. She tucked a loose strand of pink hair behind her ear, suddenly looking shy again. "After... you know."

"Yeah." I cleared my throat. "Probably for the best."

She hesitated, then leaned in quickly and pressed her lips to mine in a brief kiss. "For the record, I don’t regret anything that happened before Mom walked in."

The sweetness of the moment clashed horribly with the guilt churning in my stomach. Sloane was being genuine while I was running quests and manipulating gauges.

"Me neither," I said, because what else could I say?

As she stood to leave, Sloane’s hand lingered on my shoulder. "Tomorrow at nine. We’ll go register your Aspect, and then everything changes." Her eyes shone with excitement. "No more being the Unmarked kid. No more pity. You’ll be a real contender for Halloran."

I forced a smile. "Everything changes."

After she left, I remained in the theater, staring blankly at the movie credits rolling across the screen. What kind of system forced its user to sexually harass their guardian? What would the next quest demand? Where was the line, and how far past it would I be pushed?

〘 Your objections are noted but irrelevant. The quest was completed successfully. 〙

〘 Proceed to claim your Gold Gacha Pull? 〙

I wanted to refuse on principle, but what would that accomplish? The deed was done. Diane had been groped. My dignity was already in tatters. Might as well get something useful out of it.

Damn this scumbag system!

===

〘Traore’s Thoughts〙

Hey guys, I decided to make a Power Stone Goal for this novel.

Every 200 Power Stones this week = +1 Extra Chapter. (MAX 14 ChapterS)

We can have the normal 2 Daily Chapters + 2 Extra Chapters Every Day, is all up to you ;)