The Scumbag's Guide To Heroism

The silver wheel appeared again. Spinning. Slowing. Stopping.

This time it landed on purple.

〘 SILVER PULL RESULT

Rarity: EPIC

Ability Acquired: Boundless Stamina

Classification: Passive Trait

Description: Your stamina regeneration operates at 300% normal human capacity. Physical exhaustion accumulates at 40% normal rate. Sleep requirements reduced to 4 hours for full rest. Training efficiency increased by 50%. Side effects include accelerated healing for minor injuries and enhanced recovery time between physical activities. 〙

The information settled into my body differently this time. Not knowledge. Biology. Every cell in my body shifted slightly. Recalibrating. Upgrading.

The aches from training with Sloane started fading. Not gone entirely but noticeably better. The split lip on my face tingled as skin began knitting itself back together faster than it should.

I stood up. My legs didn’t shake. The exhaustion that had been weighing me down vanished.

"This is broken."

〘 Epic rarity abilities typically are. Boundless Stamina eliminates your primary weakness as an Unmarked individual. Extended combat becomes viable. Training can occur at higher frequency and intensity without risking injury. Your progression speed has effectively tripled. 〙

I pulled up my status screen again. A new section had appeared beneath my attributes.

ACTIVE SKILLS:

Spectral Reach (Rare)

PASSIVE TRAITS:

Boundless Stamina (Epic)

CURRENT LOADOUT: Functional for low-tier combat encounters. Significant advantages against baseline humans. Notable disadvantages against trained Aspect users.

Two abilities. One rare, one epic. Both of them would’ve taken years to develop naturally if they could be developed at all.

And I’d gotten them in five minutes because I’d completed a quest that required me to smack a girl’s ass.

The guilt tried surfacing again. I shoved it down.

"System. Real question. Am I a terrible person?"

〘 Define terrible. 〙

"I just manipulated someone who trusts me. Someone who’s been nothing but helpful. And I’m planning to keep doing it because that’s how your progression system works."

〘 Counter-question: Would you prefer the fifty percent reduction in anatomy? 〙

"Obviously not."

〘 Then your question answers itself. Survival requires adaptation. Morality is a luxury afforded to those with options. You currently have limited options. Act accordingly. 〙

Cold logic from a cold system. But it wasn’t wrong.

I hadn’t asked for this situation. Hadn’t asked to wake up in a dead kid’s body with a system threatening permanent mutilation if I didn’t play along. Given the choice between keeping my anatomy intact and feeling guilty about some boundary crossing, I’d pick keeping everything attached every single time.

Sloane would get over it. People got embarrassed all the time. She’d probably punch me tomorrow morning and that would be that.

The image of her face surfaced again. Red from neck to hairline. Those blue eyes wide with shock. That little noise she’d made.

Yeah. That noise was getting filed away for later.

I flopped onto my bed and stared at the ceiling. Seven hundred SP sat in my account. Two new abilities sat in my loadout. And Sloane’s Temptation Gauge had jumped to thirty-eight percent.

"System. What happens when her Gauge hits forty?"

〘 Stage threshold advancement. Current stage: Curious. Next stage at 40%: Attached. Emotional baseline shifts from ambient interest to active investment. Her thoughts will begin defaulting to you in unrelated contexts. She will engineer reasons for proximity. Physical contact will become more frequent and less justified by circumstance. 〙

Two percent away from making Sloane actively seek me out.

"And at sixty?"

〘 Stage: Devoted. She will prioritize your wellbeing over her own in critical situations. Jealousy responses activate when other women enter your proximity. Physical boundaries dissolve almost entirely. Romantic and sexual attraction reach actionable thresholds. 〙

"Actionable thresholds. You mean she’ll..."

〘 Correct. At sixty percent or above, reciprocation of physical advances becomes statistically probable. Rejection likelihood drops below fifteen percent depending on context and approach. 〙

I sat up. My heart hammered against my ribs.

Sloane Fitzgerald. The girl who’d been in my life for nine years. The walking explosive who could level city blocks if she lost control. The person who’d agreed to train me despite thinking I was going to die.

At sixty percent, she’d be actively into me.

And I was already at thirty-eight.

"Okay." I stood up and started pacing. "Okay okay okay. Let’s think about this rationally." 𝕗𝐫𝚎𝗲𝘄𝐞𝕓𝐧𝕠𝘃𝕖𝐥.𝐜𝚘𝚖

〘 You are incapable of rational thought regarding this subject. Your hormonal response indicates significant attraction despite moral reservations. Proceed with emotional honesty rather than false objectivity. 〙

"Shut up."

〘 Noted. 〙

Fine. Emotional honesty.

Sloane was attractive. That wasn’t up for debate. Pink hair, blue eyes, athletic build with curves in all the right places. The leggings she wore to training left absolutely nothing to imagination. And watching her move during combat was like watching a professional dancer who could also explode things.

But beyond that, she was competent. Confident. She knew exactly who she was and what she wanted.

That was hot.

The fact that she got flustered when that confidence cracked made it even better.

So yeah. If the System wanted me to raise her Gauge to sixty and beyond, I wouldn’t exactly suffer through the process.

The guilt could take a number and wait in line.

"Alright, System. I’m in. What’s the next quest?"

〘 Main Quest queue updating. Please wait. 〙

I waited. The interface flickered. A new notification appeared.

〘 NEW QUEST

Quest will be revealed after current cooldown period expires.

In the interim, focus is recommended on stat allocation, ability mastery, and continued progression with Subject Sloane Fitzgerald. Training sessions provide optimal cover for physical contact escalation. Morning meal preparation demonstrates domestic capability and raises comfort metrics. Evening sessions offer vulnerability windows with high success probability for boundary testing.

Strategic recommendation: Use SP to raise all stats to 15 each. This provides minimum threshold competency for a Hero candidate. Remaining SP can be reserved for emergency allocation or secondary stat increases once you hit a threshold. 〙

"Do it. Move everything to fifteen."

〘 Acknowledged. Allocating SP. This will be uncomfortable. 〙

Pain exploded through my nervous system.

Every muscle in my body seized. My bones felt like they were being stretched and compressed simultaneously. My tendons burned. My joints popped and crackled as they restructured themselves at the cellular level.

I collapsed onto the bed and bit down on my pillow to keep from screaming.

Then it stopped.

I lay there gasping. Sweat soaked through my shirt. My hands shook.

But when I stood up, everything felt different. Lighter. My body responded faster to mental commands. The distance between thinking about movement and actually moving had shrunk.

I threw a punch at the air. It came out crisp. Clean. Faster than before by a noticeable margin.

〘 STATUS UPDATE

Strength: 15 (+5)

Agility: 15 (+5)

Dexterity: 15 (+5)

Intelligence: 15 (+5)

Endurance: 15 (+3)

Remaining SP: 470 〙

Five points didn’t sound like much. But the difference was night and day. I felt competent. Not good. Not great. But competent.

Like maybe I wouldn’t immediately die in the Halloran exam.

"System. Probability assessment. Current chances of passing the entrance exam."

〘 Calculating... Current probability: 8.3%

This represents a significant improvement over your previous 1.2% baseline. Contributing factors include new abilities, enhanced attributes, and ongoing combat training with a Legendary-tier Aspect user. Further progression required for meaningful success probability. Recommendation remains unchanged: complete quests, raise Gauges, acquire more abilities. 〙

Eight percent. Still terrible odds. But better than one percent by a long shot.

I looked at my closed door. Sloane was somewhere in this house. Probably still mortified about what happened. Maybe plotting my murder. Definitely not thinking about it as much as I was thinking about it.

Forty-seven hours until the next quest dropped. Three months until the Halloran exam. And a progression system that required me to seduce women to gain power.

"This is the dumbest isekai ever."

〘 Correction: This is your life now. Adjust accordingly. 〙

Yeah. My life now.

I flexed my hand and watched three spectral arms materialize from my forearm. They moved smoothly. Responded instantly to my thoughts.

Not bad for day two.

I dismissed the constructs and headed for the shower. Training started again tomorrow morning at five-thirty. Sloane would probably try to kill me for real this time.

But I had Boundless Stamina now. She could hit me all day and I’d keep getting back up.

And if I played my cards right, her Gauge would hit forty percent by the end of the week.

"Game on."