Apocalypse Reset: My Crab Can Heal the World!

"So, Francois actually followed through on her word, did she?" Maria ponders, shuffling around the makeshift infirmary of Underhill’s. Osmond returned to her not long ago, and filled her in on everything that happened on his trip to the Hidden City Lantafort.

"Here I was, thinking of ways we could have foam-bombed the city by rolling explosives down that long, long hill."

"That’s my sweet Maria, always planning the next move!" Osmond dotes, running his hand through her hair. She smacks his hand away. She’s never liked the doting.

"My dove, is your leg feeling better? It’s a relief to see you walking again."

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The icy Princess taps her foot on the ground a few times. "Hurts like hell, but I’ve never minded a little pain," she confesses. "Not that it’s news to you."

Osmond steps a little closer. "Of course not," he smirks, trailing his finger down her cheek experimentally. "My, it’s been a while since I’ve given you some pain and pleasure, hasn’t it?"

"I don’t need any extra pain right now. But…"

Maria pulls Osmond on top of her and falls onto the bed. The demon is immediately aroused, and starts running his teeth along the soft skin on her throat.

"Uunf…" Maria moans, coiling her legs around him. "Yes, yes. Good demon. Just like that."

Osmond rips open the front of her dress and buries his face in her chest, licking and biting her all over - right as Underhill walks in.

"Fucking hell," Underhill spits, turning his eyes away at what he just walked into. "Couple of horny mongrels, you two I swear! I’ve been gone for five minutes!"

Maria blushes, pulling her dress closed. Osmond appears unrepentant.

"How could I resist my lady’s wondrous charm?" Osmond asks, but Underhill doesn’t care to answer.

"Listen," Underhill says. "Maria, glad you’re feeling better. Osmond, glad you’re back. I have a request that’s a little…spicy, we could say."

He glances over to Osmond and Maria and realizes that his comment might be misconstrued. "Er, not this kind of spicy," he clarifies, whisking his hand back and forth to motion at whatever Osmond and Maria were about to do. "Something that I know boss man Barnacles wouldn’t approve of. I know who’s responsible for the homicide, but we have to handle this delicately, you know? Seems like the perp is dating our hero boy."

Osmond climbs off of Maria, his eyes wide in disbelief. "Surely you don’t mean…Haima Gore?" he asks. "That sweet little thing?"

"Sweet little thing, huh?" she glowers. She kicks Osmond in the stomach as he stands over her, pushing him away.

"Yep," Underhill confirms. "Haima Gore is the killer, I’m certain."

He’d gotten the opportunity to speak with Haima shortly after she returned from Ordella with King Clancy. For reasons he’s choosing to keep close to his chest for now, she’d been his prime suspect, but after asking her a few questions about that night and seeing how she reacted, now he knew.

But even as police chief, his power was tenuous at best - Barns and Clancy were the real shot-callers in Dimartino. And with how suspicious of a character Underhill was, arresting Haima on the spot would only cause blowback onto him.

"I told you not to come to me with baseless accusations," Maria snarls. "I take it you have some ’proof’?"

"How about Haima owning a knife that’s an exact match for the one found in our murder victim?"

That silences both Maria and Osmond. If it’s true, then Haima might actually be involved in some way. Still, the evidence is circumstantial.

"First thing’s first," Underhill says. "We gotta talk to Barnie boy about it, pronto."

"Let me talk to Haima before anything," Maria insists. "It’s not that I don’t believe you, Underhill. It’s just…"

"Yeah, yeah. I’m a naturally suspicious and aloof guy. What can I say?" he gives an exaggerated shrug. "You talk to her if you want. But it’s high time I start doing my job as a police chief."

…

Meanwhile, at Dimartino Castle…

"Ultimate crab?" Barns repeats.

Clancy clicks his claws excitedly. The fear of Donatella seems to have left the mighty crustacean for now. "ONE MORE SKILL. BUBBLE BREATH. THEN, SECRET CRAB KINGDOM PILGRIMAGE."

"Secre-wha?"

Just as Barns presses Clancy for more information, Eldrie comes around the corner. He’s clearly been searching for the two of them after the speech.

"Clancy, Barns," he says, waving the dossier they received from Seifa Brahn in Lantafort. "I’ll be gathering all the leadership this afternoon to review the contents of this. I’ve already sent word to town to collect Maria, Osmond and Underhill."

Barns breaks away from the moment with Clancy to address Eldrie. "Sounds good. We’ll meet in the throne room?"

Eldrie nods. "That’s the plan, sir. We need to get this information to everyone immediately, so we can start developing counters. If the Sentinels catch us by surprise again, I fear the damage will be even worse than what happened in Ordella."

Barns considers Eldrie’s words carefully. He’d only hear second-hand what happened in Ordella, but the damage was apparently significant. He shudders to imagine what could happen, and Ordella being so far to the west was vulnerable without anyone there to protect it.

"If Maria and Osmond are still in town, we’ve got some time," Barns says. "Clancy and I will be there by the end of the hour. Thanks, Eldrie."

The former vampire nods, giving them a farewell wave and spinning on his heel back in the direction he came from.

"Alright, Clancy. It’s time to spill the beans. Secret Crab Kingdom pilgrimage?"

"FOUR SKILLS CRAB AFFINITY. ENOUGH FOR AUDIENCE WITH CRAB SAGE. MEET EMPEROR CRAB."

It takes Barns a while to parse out everything from Clancy, but he has the gist of it. As a human (potentially the only) with Crab Affinity, he can learn something incredibly powerful and game-changing from this ’Crab Sage’ - but to do so, he needs to master one more ability. An ability that can put his enemies to sleep, but even more importantly, allow him to breathe underwater. ’Bubble Breath’.

And once he masters this ability, Clancy plans to take him to the underwater Crab Kingdom.

An underwater Crab Kingdom. A hidden society of legendary crustaceans. A Sage who holds the secret to ultimate Crab Affinity.

’…How the hell did my life turn out like this?’

With everything else that’s going on, Barns feels a little anxious about leaving Dimartino for an extended period of time, but this could be the key to receiving the overpowered abilities he’s been banking on.

"I’m in, King," he says, clasping his fist in his hand in a show of determination. "Looks like I’m going to learn how to breathe underwater!"