Apocalypse Reset: My Crab Can Heal the World!

Barns and Eldrie whirl around - but the smaller astronaut is gone. No voice. No trace.

It's a relief - but also deeply chilling. Barns prefers knowing where the unhinged Zombie Lord is.

But for now, he has bigger - no, much bigger things to worry about.

The malformed creature remains.

The towering Astrospider, with its humanoid torso clad in reflective spacegear, looms over them. Its lower half skitters with the grotesque gait of spider legs made of rot and sinew. Every movement sloshes with the sickly sound of wet decay. It twitches with excitement, hands flexing like it's imagining them already squirming in its grip.

Barns tightens his stance, cane extended. "I'll take point, Eldrie. Cover me."

"Be my guest," Eldrie mutters, already stepping sideways to find a vantage point. He wants to be NOWHERE near that thing.

The Astrospider makes the first move. Its frontmost legs slam the ground and catapult its massive form forward, aiming a full-body slam at Barns.

"Harden Body!"

Barns braces, planting his feet and swinging his SSS-rank cane upward in an explosive arc. The clash sends a shockwave through the earth. The impact rattles his bones, but the barrier holds. His crab-enforced body strength absorbs the blow, just barely.

The Astrospider reels back, surprised by the resistance. Barns doesn't give it a second chance.

"Flame Thrash!"

A burst of fire spirals up his cane and down his limbs, wreathing him in flame. He lunges, slamming the burning weapon into one of the spider legs. It recoils from the flame as he strikes.

The leg he hit catches fire. It burns but doesn't fall off - the Astrospider is made of sturdier stuff than that. Still, the pain slows the creature down considerably as it's no longer able to walk properly.

Eldrie takes his moment.

His red vampiric eye glows with violent intent. His bow, already nocked, begins to pulse with unnatural energy.

The power he inherited from Adon - he'd practiced in isolation many times to learn how to use the unholy power. Now was his moment to finally shine.

"Bloodthorn Grip."

Red vines of hardened blood spiral out from the arrow as it flies, finding their mark in the gaps of the Astrospider's flesh-body. The vines erupt from the point of impact, twisting into thick, barbed tendrils that snake around the torso, binding arms and spider legs alike.

The creature shrieks. Its upper body convulses as the blood-vines constrict, leeching vitality from its undead core.

Barns seizes the opening made by Eldrie and launches his next attack.

He runs up the front leg like a ramp, flames trailing behind him, and jumps - bringing his cane down like a guillotine on the center of its torso. The flaming strike cracks through the helmet, revealing a truly horrific sight - the creature has no head or face. It's just a writhing mass of worms that now spill out the front of the helmet like hungry tendrils. Somewhere in the mound of worms is a vertical gash lined with teeth - something akin to a mouth.

The body thrashes violently. Eldrie squeezes his hand shut, focusing his vampiric power. His blood-vines tighten, keeping the hellish monstrosity locked into place. But it refuses to go down easily.

A clawed hand lashes out, catching Barns in the side and flinging him like a ragdoll. He bounces across the dirt, rolling to his feet with a grunt. His arm smokes, but he's still standing.

"I'm good!" he shouts to Eldrie, having activated Harden Body a second before the blow.

Eldrie presses his hands together, his solitary red eye glowing like a blood moon.

"More thorns!"

He channels more of his vampiric magic, summoning a second volley of barbed blood, this time anchoring the Astrospider to the ground itself. It roars - an awful, primal noise of sheer hatred.

Then, the Astrospider begins to glow.

Not fire. Not magic.

Radiation.

Green and sickly light pours from the cracks in its torso and joints. The creature emits a bone-deep rumble that rattles the stones beneath their feet. Its remaining spider legs root into the ground and spread wide. Then it begins to pull.

Barns feels the pressure before he understands it. Gravity itself begins to twist. The world dips toward the Astrospider like it's a sinkhole.

"A gravity pulse?! What kind of monster IS this!?"

Eldrie shouts. "It's trying to pull us in!"

Barns plants his cane, digging it into the ground. "Oh, no you don't, you damn mutant!"

He summons every ounce of strength and activates Flame Thrash again, driving his body forward against the pull. Each step is a battle. The vines stretch, groan, and some even snap.

Eldrie fires arrow after arrow into its joints, trying to destabilize it further. One shot hits deep in its lower thorax—where its spider abdomen meets the humanoid torso—and the creature stutters.

Barns roars as he struggles against the gravitational grab. He can't resist it - he's going to have to land his decisive attack now. He rips his cane back out of the ground and withdraws the claws on Silver Rake, leaping forward with flames blazing across both arms.

He drives the Silver Rake deep into the creature's center mass. But he's not done. He strikes again with the SSS crab cane, swinging with the stopping power required to cut the entire creature in half.

The radiation flickers.

The vines re-engage.

Eldrie channels every drop of energy into his vampiric eye. "This is it!" he shouts, locking the creature in a tangled cocoon of bloodthorns. The Astrospider trembles.

Barns flips backward, charging another attack. He must end it here. With only three seconds left to go on Harden Body, he'll be sucked up and eaten by the monster if it's not stopped now.

He lunges.

"Flame Thrash - Crescendo!"

The impact is monumental. Fire bursts outward like a crustacean comet. The vines ignite in fire, wrapping the monstrosity in a flaming cage of barbs.

And the strike from Barns cane itself is enough to cause the Astrospider's body to begin tearing apart at the seams.

The Astrospider releases one final, freakish wail that echoes for miles. Harsh popping sounds erupt from its joints as it twitches and breaks down. The gravitational pull subsides, allowing Barns and Eldrie to finally plant their feet on the ground normally.

Thoroughly dead, the Astrospider begins to melt - rot, bone fragments, and radioactive ichor turning into sizzling mush. The air turns acrid.

Silence follows. Blessed silence. A world without the droning of Corpsie.