Apocalypse Reset: My Crab Can Heal the World!

Barns meets Clancy at a waterfall on the outskirts of town, where the crab had insisted they begin Barns' 'Harden Body' training. It's a calm place - except for the sound of the roaring waterfall - and filled with the bounties of the jungle. Barns picks a banana off a tree and starts eating it as Clancy tries to explain the plan over the sound of falling water.

"BARNACLES MUST...ILL...WATER!"

Barns sighs. This was going to take a while.

"Gonna need you to repeat that, King!" he roars at the top of his lungs. Next to a raging waterfall was not an ideal place to have a conversation.

Clancy scuttles around frustratedly. "BE STILL IN THE WATER!"

Barns throws the banana peel aside. "Do what now?" he asks, stepping as close to his crab's mouth as he could.

"BARNACLES. UNDER THE FALL WATER. NO MOTION."

"You want me to get completely still, while standing under the waterfall?"

Clancy clicked in agreement.

Barnacles looks out at the water. It was a powerful cascade. He'd get swept up if he tried to stand under it.

"If this is the way, I guess I'll give it a shot."

Barnacles walks to the edge of the water and sticks his hand in.

"It's cold!" Barnacles exclaims, reaching his hand back. Cold, but not freezing. He could survive the temperature. But could he survive the force?

Clancy remains a moderate distance from the water, clicking his pincer claws in anticipation, and staring blankly ahead. 𝚏𝕣𝕖𝚎𝚠𝚎𝚋𝚗𝐨𝐯𝕖𝕝.𝕔𝐨𝕞

Barns wades into the river. Thankfully, it wasn't too deep - he's able to keep most of his torso above the water. But the barrage of the waterfall is endless and forces him down under the water.

Barns swims to the river bank, soaking wet and without a drop of progress.

'This seems impossible,' Barns thinks, 'But King believes I can do it. So I'm going to just have to figure it out!'

And so Barns tries again, and again, and again - not to much avail. The last time he tries, he lasts five minutes before the force of the water overwhelms him. Although, he was still not great at being 'still' either. Between the struggling from the water and the shivering, being 'still' feels like it could be years off.

'But I can't wait that long. I need to master this technique before we attack the castle.'

Barns spends much of the morning training under the waterfall, and the afternoon exploring town. The artisans have begun work on a variety of projects. Quinn reports that the town's citizens are in good spirits, and Yunie has had another successful day running the Adventurer's Guild.

Clancy receives an earnest apology from the two prostitutes who attempted to have him boiled alive. They said they were only following Princess Maria's wishes. Also, much to Clancy's chagrin, they announced their retirement from prostitution - they will now be working directly with Yunie at the Adventurer's Guild.

"All seems well in Dimartino," Barns smiles, looking around town from a rooftop. It's still a rowdy place - alcohol and other vices roam freely - but it feels like a community. Like home.

Barns chuckles. Home. He was the only one who didn't get a 'home', since he was never 'resurrected'. 'I suppose I don't need a home. My destiny is to travel and save the world.'

Still, it would be nice to have a place to come back to. Barns and Clancy stay at the hotel in town - but that was a low-priority building for restoration since everyone else had their own homes. As such it was dark, dusty, and felt a little haunted.

The next day, Barns and Clancy took a break from training to visit a small settlement near the castle. One of the Adventurer Guild's scouts noted that about thirty goblins were camping out.

It was the perfect opportunity for Barns to test out his new weapon - Crashing Wave. The sword had a unique power to launch water blades, and he needed to do some target practice.

Barns and Clancy snuck up on the goblin camp, and he opened with his new technique. He flails his sword madly while using the hilt as a trigger. Thin blades of water manifest at the tip of his sword and fly toward the goblins, slicing all that are hit into ribbons. Each blade is like a shuriken made of water. He aims for each goblin one by one as they try to run away - but their camp walls are too high for them to climb. They're trapped.

He picks off every last goblin with his water blades before looking back at his sword in awe. 'Who needs another skill? This is awesome!'

Though he figured it would not do well against armored foes. These goblins are wearing rags and have no defenses whatsoever.

After a good foaming, it's time for the resurrection. Barns brings the people back and gives a much refined, condensed version of his speech:

"Hello, mortals! I am the great Barnacles, and I have come to save your souls. Follow me to Dimartino, where I have rebuilt civilization."

[Progress: 499/1000000]

...

Meanwhile, in Dimartino Castle:

Maria lays curled up in a plush armchair, flicking at the System Logs when she sees the notification.

[User:UNDEFINED has made progress on Quest 'Restore Humanity'. (499/1000000)]

"That little bastard might actually do it," Maria says aloud.

She rose from her chair, looking around. Dimartino Castle was the same as it was six years ago, before becoming overwhelmed by the apocalypse. Maria made Osmond create a staff of monsters to keep the place tidy and functional. Most of the staff were skeletons - their inoffensive smell and tactile fingers made them good workers.

She grabs her coat from a skeletal arm and steps onto the balcony, overlooking the gardens. This was the view that changed the most. She remembers when the view was that of a beautiful hedge maze, rose gardens, and a recreational field. Now, this is where the horde of 3,000 monsters they've accumulated reside.

Maria bites her lip, eyes dropping to her feet. Even she lost something to the apocalypse - her beautiful, timeless garden was in ruins.

'If Barnacles wins, could even my garden grow again?' Maria muses to herself.

The thought is interrupted when the doors leading inside open again. Osmond steps out onto the balcony, joining Maria and tenderly putting his arm around her waist.

"Hello, my love," Osmond says sweetly, smelling her hair. "I think it's time we talk strategy. Half of our camps in Dimartino have already been hit. I give it a week or two before that hero is at our doorstep."

"As I've told you, the boy has a crab. He values that thing more than humanity itself."

"It's all well and good to destroy his future, but what about after? He'll hit us with personal vengeance, then. Neither side will win."

Maria rolls her eyes. She didn't make it as far as she did by formulating military strategy - she clung to others who could protect her and give her power.

"Look, Osmond, I don't know," she frets, running her hand through her hair and stepping away from him. The stress of what might happen was getting to her.

"Do you...want me to tie you up?" Osmond offers.

"No, I do not want you to TIE ME UP," Maria snarls. "I want you to figure out what the best future for me is."

Osmond pauses. "The best future...for you?"

Maria takes a deep breath. "Look, Oz. Maybe we just let him win..."

Osmond grits his teeth. "No, Maria, maybe we don't. I'm not sure if you noticed this, but I'M a demon. He's coming here to kill ME."

Maria pouts. "Why's it always about you?"

Osmond is about to pull his hair out. "What are you talking about!?" he cries. "I did all of this for you! I'm not like the other monsters, Maria. I was chosen by the Lord of the Apocalypse himself. I am a pure demon! Once I die, there's no resurrecting me back!"

Maria straightens herself. She knew it already - that there was no middle ground. Osmond lives, Barns dies. Or...the opposite. She was the only one who got to straddle the line between.

"You'll have to figure it out yourself, Osmond, he's not coming here to kill me."

"Maria!" he pleads. "What happened? You were so excited when he arrived. You were going to boil the crab, and -"

"I told you I tried," Maria says defensively. "They figured out the plan and foiled it. Then they figured me out and I had to escape."

Osmond buries his face in his hands. "You know, fine. I'll figure it out, Maria. I am going to figure this out."

He starts pacing, mumbling to himself. Maria's attention fades away from him as she notices a message appear. One she's never seen anything like.

[One New Message from: Zelia]

'What's this, now? Who's Zelia?' Maria wonders, her eyebrows raising slowly. She clicks on the message, and a long wall of text appears in front of her.

Maria gasps.