Apocalypse Reset: My Crab Can Heal the World!

When the group arrives back to Dimartino, Barns rushes up to his room in the tallest tower to change. Sure, there were a dozen things he needed to follow up on, including but not limited to:

- The vampire treasures (A glove, some ashes, and a rock)

- Eldrie and his memories

- Maria and Clancy, to learn more about this 'Leveling' ability he acquired.

- The new ship he and Clancy delivered to harbor

- Various projects with Yunie, Quinn, and Underhill

- An ongoing homicide investigation

- The next steps in fighting the vampire twins

As he rattles all those things in his mind, they seem to pale in comparison to what he's most focused on. Haima agreed to get dinner with him tonight.

He'd always been the type to chase after girls in his first life, but usually to little success. As Barns, though, he'd become quite the charmer.

'Even a legendary hero needs to blow off some steam, right?' he thinks to himself, showering and changing into a dapper outfit perfect for a night on the town. Maybe he wouldn't score, but if the opposing team isn't on defense, he might as well shoot his shot.

"Alright, Barns. You got this."

He checks himself one last time in the mirror, and scurries out. He told Haima he'd meet her at a restaurant in town at 7PM. He still had time to kill, but he was the type to anxiously overprepare and then stand around for a few hours, fully dressed and ready.

And that's exactly what he does, until it's time to head out. He rushes out of the castle, not wishing to be seen by anyone. Tonight was for him.

"Oh, hello, mate. Didn't know if you were still around. Say, what are you all dressed up for? Lookin' sharp, my man!"

Barns looks up at Godrick. The man's a full head taller than Barns.

"Going on a date, can't chat! See you later, Godrick!"

Godrick seems surprised, but doesn't press the subject. He waves Barns off as the hero scurries to the side of the castle, taking the less-used southern road to town.

He arrives at the restaurant right at seven. Haima's already there waiting, dressed in a well-fitting white dress that shows off her figure. 'Good,' he thinks. 'She dressed up too. That means she's taking this seriously!'

Barns swoops to her side before she spots him, and he gracefully takes her hand in his. "Why hello, Haima. You look riveting this evening," his words bleed confidence, but Barns has no idea what he's doing. He got the line from a book he once read about a dashing nobleman who could make any woman swoon.

She blushes slightly. "Hi, Barns. You look...esteemed, yourself."

"Do you want me to kiss your hand?" he asks awkwardly, with all the stilted gentlemanly grace he can muster.

Haima pulls her hand away from his. "Maybe we can just eat dinner first," she giggles nervously. "No need to be so formal, right?"

The two enter the restaurant and sit down. During the first couple weeks, this place operated as a food kitchen for the town. Now that society has begun to fall into place, it was more of a cafeteria-style restaurant, with a large buffet table. It was just about the only place to go on a date, however - besides the bars or the casino.

The monsters that occupied Dimartino were fans of gambling, so the casino didn't require much effort to get back into working order.

They sit down across from each other in the cafeteria, in a quiet corner where nobody else is around. Barns' plate is loaded with protein - a pile of shrimp, steaming kabobs, spicy pork over rice, and a fat, dripping turkey leg. His stomach grumbles as he eyes up all the meat.

Haima smiles. "I didn't get any shrimp. It feels a little...bad, to eat shellfish. What with...you know." She gestures toward the large flag hanging nearby - the symbol of their nation, adorned with a mighty crab.

"Hm?" Barns asks, slurping the shrimp out of its shell, eating like a maniac. "Oh, yeah. Clancy isn't bothered by it. He'll eat shrimp, lobster - pretty much anything but crab. Though if it were a pretty lady crab, who knows, am I right?"

Haima makes a disgusted face. She tries to shrug it off with a smile and looks at her own place. A healthy mix of fruit and veggies, with sliced turkey.

She takes a deep breath and gives herself an internal pep talk. 'Okay, Haima. Maybe it hasn't gone great so far, but you can do this!'

She hadn't been on a date in a long time - well before the apocalypse began. Romance wasn't something she had much experience with.

'So he eats like a savage,' she tells herself as she watches him suck the meat off his turkey leg, grease over his face. 'He's still a nice guy.'

"So, Barns," she says meekly, trying desperately to think of something to say. "Were you a movie-watcher before the world went to...uh, shit? I guess...that's the best way to put it..."

"Not really," he says, licking his fingers and taking a break from eating. He has a fork, but it didn't appear he had any intention of using it. "All I did was train, train, train. I was still training when the Apocalypse started. I never got to do much outside that. Most of what I learned was from the concubines they brought in for me to avail myself with."

Haima nearly drops her fork. "Excuse me?"

"Oh, no worries. That was all my past life. Technically I've only slept with one person," he says. "But that was, like. Weeks ago." He dives back into his food, eating like he'd been starved for days.

"Ah, yes," Haima says, blinking several times in quick succession.

'He's a legendary hero,' Haima says to herself. 'Of course he'd have women at his beck and call. But he asked you on a date, Haima. If he just wanted casual sex, he'd have led with that.'

"You're surprisingly forward," she says, lacking the words to give any other sort of comment. "Do you get that...directness...from Clancy?"

"Maybe!" He stands up, wiping his fingers on his nice clothes. A part of Haima dies inside. "You need anything else? I'm gonna grab another plate."

'He's a savage,' Haima says to herself. 'But he spent the last twelve years on a deserted island. I suppose it's only natural he's lacking in some manners.'

"No thank you," she says politely. He jogs to the buffet, shameless.

She pierces a piece of broccoli and rolls it around in her plate, lost in her own mind. Making a pros and cons list of reasons to continue this date. She finds many more reasons fall into the 'cons'.

"How does someone who tried so hard to be a gentleman act like this on the actual date," she murmurs to herself in disbelief.

A moment later, Barns sits back down at the table, a fresh plate of meat in front of him.

They chat a little longer, both finishing up their meals. As they do, they both push their plates to the side and look at each other.

"This was fun," she says. Haima didn't know what to expect, but all-in-all, she'd do this again. Though perhaps she would cook for them - and make something that forced him to have some table manners.

"Yeah, the food was great," Barns smiles. "So what now? We gonna smash, or..."

Haima spits into the cup as she's drinking. She clears her throat. "I actually have to wake up early tomorrow," she says, coming up with the weakest excuse ever. 'Damn it, Haima. That makes it sound like you'd have been open to it otherwise!'

Barns smiles. "Now that you mention it, so do I. I've got some work to do on deciphering all the things we got from the vampires."

Haima raises her eyebrows and nods. "Yes, and I...have many things to accomplish as well. But it was lovely hanging out tonight!"

They rise from the table. Haima notices he's got a slight look of dejection on his face. Is it because she turned down his advances, or is he slightly aware of his crassness?

She leans in and kisses him on the cheek. "Have a good night, Barns."

At least to Barns, the date was a great success. He can't stop smiling on his walk home.