Apocalypse Reset: My Crab Can Heal the World!

"So, you really don't remember anything?" Maria asks again, looking over the table at the young man sitting across from her. He looks nothing like the cocky, spiteful hunter she'd fought the day before - resurrection has done him well. He crosses his legs bashfully as she leers at him.

Maria eyes the red turtleneck he's wearing. A weird thing for a former vampire to put on, she thinks to herself. Or is it?

"Let's put this another way," Maria offers, pushing the snacks on the table in front of them to the side and leaning over. "Incantra and Wilfort. Those names mean anything to you?"

For the first time since he became human, Maria detects a hint of unease from Eldrie. "O-of course," he says quickly. "Wilfort, that's my grandpa. And Incantra is my girlfriend."

"Was your grandpa," Maria corrects. "Was your girlfriend."

Eldrie's eyes widen and fill with tears as he realizes the weight of Maria's words. She takes a deep breath and averts her eyes, not wanting to bother with his emotional reaction.

"Any idea why they were vampires?"

Eldrie shakes his head. "Just what I've already told you. Incantra and I went to see the twins shortly after they took over Ordella. We begged for our lives, told them we'd do anything if they let us live...and then everything after that is blank."

"Well, you and your little girlfriend were running a guard operation with gramps, and unfortunately for you, your associates put up so much of a fight they were un-resurrectable. You put up quite a fight yourself."

"Did I?" Eldrie sighs, averting his gaze to his feet. "I'm sorry."

"Yes. Well..." Maria thinks for a moment. "I forgive you, I suppose."

Her words have a deep impact. The life returns to him, and he seems to sparkle. "Oh, thank you, thank you, Princess!" he says excitedly.

"So, do you have any useful skills to contribute to the Kingdom?" Maria asks. She figured she'd conduct his orientation interview while she was here - save Quinn the trouble.

"Hmm. I don't know if it's particularly useful, but I used to be a sniper in the armed forces. I have a skill that lets me hit targets in any direction, 360 degrees. With, uh. No scope."

The corner of Maria's mouth curls down. That explains how he got such a good shot at her. She was lucky it was just an ordinary bow - an A/S rank bow or gun might have broken even through her immense defense.

"Well, that certainly sounds useful," Maria admits. He'd be a wise fit for the newly created police force, but she didn't quite trust him yet - especially not in a position like that.

"From now on, you'll be my bodyguard," Maria says, a sly gleam in her eye. It would do for now. She could keep an eye on him, and once she's convinced of his innocence, she will transition him to the police force.

If nothing else, she knows she can take him in a fight. She won't even need wooden stakes next time.

"Do you accept?"

"Glady, Princess. It's an honor to be allowed to serve you at all."

"Did you get a house set up yet?"

"Yes, indeed. My home is just outside the castle walls, luckily enough."

"Alright. Well...let me give you a tour of the castle, at least."

The two wrap up their conversation and go on their way. As they begin touring the first floor, she looks out the window and sees Clancy standing with Barns by a grove of small trees.

"What idiocy are they up to now?" she mumbles to herself.

Eldrie watches them as well. It seems like Barns is trying to cut a tree in half with his bare hand by pinching it. He doesn't seem to be making any progress.

"The crab - that's the legendary hero, correct?"

Maria is amused. "Yeah. And that's his human servant, Barnacles. By the way, whenever we greet someone, we're supposed to do this," Maria says, performing the crab claw salute.

"O-oh! Really?" Eldrie looks down and mimics her hand gesture.

"Yep." Maria snickers to herself. Her con is successful. "And don't ever forget. Some consider it disrespectful."

"BIGGER CLAW!" Clancy shouts. He's so loud Maria and Eldrie can hear it from where they are.

"I'M TRYING, KING!" Barns yells back.

"They seem close," Eldrie notes, a wistful spark in his eye. "I had a friend like that, once."

"A talking crab?"

"No. A talking bird."

Maria opens her mouth to speak, but decides against it.

"Let's just get on with our tour, hm?"

...

Elsewhere, in Ordella...

"All of them, dead?"

Adon gently wipes his hands with a wet cloth, scrubbing the blood out of his fingernails. Behind him, Adea is laying on the floor in a pile of entrails, making a bloody snow angel.

The male twin looks up at the speaker, a callous and unhinged smile quivering at the corner of his lips. He sat on a rusty iron chair in the center of his base of operations - The Abattoir. His sister Adea was just finishing up with the day's festivities.

The young vampire bows. He was there to report news of Eldrie and the others to Adon and Adea - but even for vampires, the twins were terrifying.

"It would appear they were assassinated and the treasures they guard were stolen. Eldrie's body was unable to be recovered. We believe the enemy may have taken it."

"Resurrected him, you mean?" Adon smiles. It's not a nice smile - the intensity in his eyes betrays any falsehood of joy.

Adea rises from the ground, wearing intestines like a boa around her neck. "Oooh, they took Eldrie? He was so fun to turn. Maybe I can do it all over again!"

The young vampire's eyes dart over to Adea as she speaks, and he accidentally makes eye contact with her. He feels his bones chill the second her red eyes set on his.

She crawls over the floor, the front of her dress drenched in viscera. Her legs are limp behind her.

"My, my. It was so fun turning you too, wasn't it? When's the last time I took a bite from you, hmm?"

"My lords, do you have any instructions you'd like me to relay to the other vampires?"

"Oh, yes," Adon says. He stares at the young vampire's hands with curious intent. "Let's get some human stock crucified and put on the border between us and Dimartino. I would hate to think the humans over there feel unwelcome."

"Oh my," Adea giggles. "Wouldn't you like to go do it ourselves, Adon?"

"Adea, my sweet sister, we have something else to prepare. I should like to meet our new neighbors so very soon."

The young vampire bows. "I shall relay the message." he turns to leave the Abattoir, but Adon's commanding voice stops him in his tracks.

"Wait. I believe my sister asked you a question. It would be rather rude of you not to answer."

"What?" the young vampire quivers.

"She asked you when the last time she took a bite from you was."

The informant's shoulder twitches. He still feels phantom pain there from her last bite. A Master Vampire's wounds never heal without specialized medical care - even for vampires, it can take days for such a wound to finally stop bleeding.

"It has been some time," the young vampire admits. "Almost a year."

Adea rises to her feet. "Oh, goodness me. Almost a year? How horrific. Don't you like the gift of blood? You must be absolutely disdainful of me, little one."

The young vampire knows not what to say.

"Why don't we bite him together?" Adon smiles. "To make up for lost time."

Before the young vampire can protest, the twins are upon him.