Apocalypse Reset: My Crab Can Heal the World!

Barns, Osmond, and Eldrie stand near the gates of Dimartino Castle, watching as thousands of weary figures move toward them, the once-dead now walking again.

"Twenty thousand new mouths to feed," Osmond mutters, arms crossed.

"You’re telling me," Barns says. "I don’t think we’re going to have enough daily quests."

A logistical nightmare all around. I’m getting hives just thinking about it."

"Do demons even get hives?"

"No," Osmond admits. "Then I’m getting… emotional hives."

"Don’t worry," Barns retorts. "We can make Maria figure out the logistics on this one."

Eldrie smirks at the comment, but he’s already analyzing the situation. "I’ll handle the preparations," he says. "We need housing assignments, and someone to explain to these people why they’re alive again."

"Sounds like you can handle it, vampire boy," Osmond jests. "I must go find my dear Maria. Excuse me, gentlemen."

Find exclusive stories on freewebnovel

Barns groans. "Alright. Eldrie, you can get everything ready, right? I want to see if King’s around."

"Of course, Master Barns," Eldrie says, doing the claw salute. "I’ll deliver a speech from the castle balcony. Would you like to say a few words as well?"

"Sure," Barns says, jogging away toward the front doors of the castle. "Hopefully all those people fit in the courtyard!"

He leaves Eldrie to his musings, and makes for the castle doors.

The moment Barns enters the castle, he hears the scuttles.

"BARNACLES!"

Clancy’s booming, guttural voice echoes through the halls as the giant crab hurtles toward him. Barns has barely stepped into the grand hall before he’s pulled into a crabby embrace - two enormous pincers wrapping around him and lifting him clean off the ground.

"CLANCY," Barns wheezes, imitating the crab’s voice. "BREATHING. ISSUE." He notices his crab is wearing a pope hat, but he doesn’t have the capacity to question it right now.

Clancy sets him down, clicking his claws excitedly. "HUMANS COME. DIMARTINO GROWING."

"Yeah, twenty thousand!" Barns says, his face alight with excitement - and a little bit of anxiety. "You’re in the big leagues now, Clancy! King of over twenty-five thousand! Man, that sure is a big number, huh, King? And soon I have to talk in front of all of them..."

Clancy’s beady purple eyes stare at the hero blankly for several moments. "BARNACLES NERVOUS?"

"No! No, of course not. I’m a legendary hero. I don’t get nervous."

Clancy clicks his claws knowingly. "BARNACLES NERVOUS! STAGE FRIGHT!"

Barns groans. "It’s not ’stage fright,’ it’s just - look, talking to a bunch of people is one thing. Talking to twenty thousand people is something else entirely. What if I say something stupid?"

Clancy considers this, then nods solemnly. "CRAB DANCE?"

"…What?"

"CRAB DANCE CALMS NERVES."

Barns stares at him for a long moment before rubbing his temples. "I’m not going to dance for twenty thousand people, King. Hey, look. Just meet me up on the balcony, where we had your coronation, okay?" 𝒻𝑟𝘦𝘦𝘸ℯ𝒷𝑛𝘰𝓋ℯ𝘭.𝘤𝘰𝘮

Clancy bounces up and down on his crab legs in agreement, doing a little crab dance of his own. As Clancy’s claws click in excitement, Barns sighs and sets off to his destination, mind already spinning with what to say.

The hero figures he has a little bit of time before Eldrie is set up and is able to deliver the ’essentials’ of his speech. He decides to take a quick stop at his room and change - though his room is all the way at the top of the tallest tower. On the way up, Barns nearly runs into Roscoe, who’s leaning against the wall just outside the grand staircase, arms folded like he’s been waiting. The moment he sees Barns, his face lights up, but there’s something tired in his eyes. An exhaustion that doesn’t come from lack of sleep.

"Boss!" Roscoe straightens immediately, but there’s a faint hesitation before his grin fully forms. "You’re back."

Barns laughs, patting Roscoe on the head. "You’re calling me Boss now?"

"You said you’re going to train me, so that makes you the boss! When are we gonna start?" Roscoe clenches his fists, determined. Yunie’s death still weighs heavy on the boy, an unspoken elephant in the room between them. Getting stronger, pulling his weight - it’s the only thing that keeps Roscoe’s head above water.

"You alright?" Barns asks, his tone softer and concerned. Roscoe was his responsibility now, and one that Barns intends to take seriously.

Roscoe falters for half a second. He looks away, just briefly. "Yeah. Just… still getting used to everything. Y’know."

Barns doesn’t push. He doesn’t have to. "Yeah."

Roscoe exhales sharply, impatient. "Anyway, can we start training? I have the sword you lent me and everything, I am free now!"

Barns punches the boy in the arm playfully. "Soon, I promise," he says. "I have to do a speech first that might take some time. We’ve got twenty thousand newbies coming in today! Hey, why don’t you come and watch the speech from the balcony? You’ll be able to see everyone from up there, just like a legendary hero!"

Roscoe shakes his head, this time more subdued. "No way, in front of that many people!?"

"That’s right. You can be one of my honored guests!"

"If you insist, boss! I’ll just consider it part of my training. I gotta get used to being a hero too, right?"

"That’s right. And...call me Barns. Or, you know what? How about ’big bro’?

Barns blushes as he says it, but he’s always wanted a little brother, and Roscoe was currently down one older sibling.

Roscoe’s face lights up like he’s just been knighted, and for a moment that shadow behind his eyes begins to dispel. "Let’s go, big bro!"

"Once I change," Barns smiles. "Be right back, little bro!"

...

The balcony of Dimartino Castle is massive, overlooking the courtyard where the newly revived citizens have gathered twenty thousand strong. A wave of murmuring voices fills the air, their expressions ranging from confusion to hope to outright panic. Some clutch at their chests, as if still grappling with the fact that they’re alive once again. Others stand in small clusters, whispering among themselves.

Some of the people remember what happened, and some do not - though the six or so years they spent as shambling, soulless vampire thralls are a bit hazy. All they seem to remember is walking a lot, and to be fair, it’s mostly all that happened in the six years.

Barns, Clancy, and Roscoe are standing behind Eldrie as he finishes up his speech. Finally, Eldrie turns to the group of three and addresses the crowd.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen," Eldrie finishes, "I would like to introduce you to the man of the hour - the Legendary Hero of Dimartino and the Savior of Humanity, The Resurrector of Souls! Barnacles!"

Barns swallows hard. This is it. He walks up to the podium alongside the mighty crab.

Clancy stands beside him, massive and imposing, exuding a presence that silences the crowd just by existing.

Eldrie positions himself strategically at the edges next to Roscoe ensuring that if things go south, he’ll be ready.

Roscoe’s gripping the railing, excited. For someone who was anxious about being in front of this crowd, he’s certainly reveling in it now.

Barns readies himself. He can do this. If he can kill a Master Vampire, he can speak in front of a crowd - no matter the size.

He steps forward, gripping the microphone.

’Alright, Barns,’ he thinks to himself. ’Don’t say anything stupid.’

"New citizens of Dimartino!" Barns shouts, his voice echoing over the massive crowd. His heart pounds in his chest, so hard he’s anxious the microphone will pick it up. For all the times he’s claimed to be the legendary hero, now it’s certifiable.

As he starts, a window appears in front of him.

[Progress: 26780/1000000]