Beastmen Are Crazy, So I Sell Them Therapy

Sadly, we didn’t get to spend time outside.

By the time we finished turning Soren into a walking fashion statement, it was already six in the evening. The golden glow outside the boutique windows had dimmed into that "you missed your chance" kind of lighting.

Tragic.

Absolutely tragic.

So instead of enjoying the capital like normal people, we ended up heading back.

Laurel stood by the entrance, elegant as ever, hands neatly folded as she gave a graceful bow. "It was a pleasure serving you both. As for the clothes, they will be delivered to your estate shortly."

Soren gave a simple nod and stepped forward, clearly intending to pick me up—

—but before he could even try, Laurel snatched me first.

I blinked.

Once.

Twice.

Excuse me?

"Laurel," Soren said, his tone dropping just enough to sound like a warning.

"Oh relax, will you?" she replied casually, rolling her eyes like she hadn’t just stolen me mid-air. "I only have something to say to her."

I narrowed my eyes and pulled out my OmniSync.

"What do you want?"

Laurel leaned in slightly, her smile widening into something dangerously playful.

"Next time you shop," she whispered, "bring your lovers more, okay? The duke and the general really left a huge tip."

"..."

I slowly turned my head toward her, eyes narrowing.

"How about my commission?" I typed, glaring.

"Your commission?" she echoed, looking utterly delighted. "Keeping your secret safe with me."

Before I could even type out the many creative insults forming in my mind, she immediately handed me back to Soren like she had just completed a very successful transaction.

"Nyang nyang nya—AAAANG!"

Translation: You blackmailing witch!

"Goodbye to you too, Miss Blanca!" Laurel chirped brightly, completely unbothered.

Soren caught me with ease, already used to this level of chaos. "What did you say to her?" he asked, glancing between us.

"Me?" Laurel placed a hand over her chest, looking offended in the most fake way possible. "We were just saying our goodbyes."

Then she looked at me and smiled again.

"Oh? What’s that? You want me to say something else?"

My mouth snapped shut so fast it was honestly impressive.

I hissed at her again, quieter this time—but with feeling.

Victory but it’s hers, unfortunately.

"We’ll be going now," Soren said, clearly deciding not to get involved in whatever silent war had just taken place.

He gently rubbed my head, completely unaware—or perhaps intentionally ignoring—the betrayal I had just suffered.

I glared at Laurel one last time.

She waved sweetly once more.

Like she hadn’t just blackmailed me five seconds ago.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

"MY LADY—!!!"

The shout hit like a physical attack.

I flinched.

Actually flinched.

My ears rang, my soul briefly left my body, and before I could even process what was happening—

I was snatched.

Again.

At this point, I was starting to feel like a highly sought-after item in a very chaotic auction.

"NYANG NYANG NYANG—GAWANG?!" I screeched, thrashing in his grip.

Translation: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU GAWANG?!

Gawain, completely unfazed, hugged me tighter like I had just returned from war. "My Lady! I thought I lost you!" he said, voice filled with genuine panic and... a concerning level of intensity.

I stared at him then turned my head towards Mikael because clearly, explanations were needed.

Immediately.

"Miss Blanca," Mikael began smoothly, hands behind his back like he was about to present a report, "your loyal rabid dog—" he paused, glancing at Gawain, "—I mean, servant, almost blew up the estate looking for you."

I looked at Agatha, hoping—praying—this was some kind of exaggeration.

"It’s true, My Lady," Agatha said, nodding with alarming seriousness. "This crazy— I mean, Sir Gawain—was carrying a Cannon QX9—"

She kept talking.

There were words.

Many words.

Technical words.

Dangerous-sounding words.

Reinforced steel.

Heat-dissipation systems.

High-precision targeting.

Laser guidance.

GPS.

Armor-piercing rounds.

At some point, I stopped listening.

Not because I didn’t care.

But because my brain had reached its daily limit for unnecessary stress.

All I really needed to understand was this:

It was a cannon.

A literal cannon.

The kind used in wars.

The kind that should not be anywhere near a residential estate.

I blinked, trying to process it again.

Then my thoughts caught up to the most important question of all—

How?

How did he even carry that thing?

How did he hide it?

How did no one stop him?

Did he just walk in like, "Yes, this is normal. Just a casual cannon for personal use"?

"In short," Mikael concluded calmly, "your servant managed to put the estate in real danger."

I slowly turned my head towards Gawain.

He smiled at me.

Like he had done something worth praising.

Without a word—

I raised my paw—

And smacked the back of his head.

Smack.

"Nyang nyang nyang?!"

Translation: DID YOU SERIOUSLY HOLD THE ENTIRE ESTATE HOSTAGE?

"OW!" Gawain yelped, immediately pouting like he had been gravely wronged. "I was looking everywhere for you! And this guy—!" he snapped, pointing aggressively at Soren like an accusing prosecutor, "—kidnapped you without even telling me!"

"..."

You know what?

That accusation was... not entirely incorrect.

I narrowed my eyes at Soren slightly.

Just a little.

For balance.

But still, I turned back to Gawain, completely unimpressed.

"Nyang."

Translation: That still doesn’t explain the cannon.

"THAT’S NOT THE POINT!" Gawain shouted.

"IT IS ABSOLUTELY THE POINT," Mikael cut in calmly.

Agatha nodded in agreement.

I nodded too.

Because yes.

Yes, it was.

Gawain opened his mouth but closed it then pointed at Soren again like he was trying to salvage his argument. "He didn’t even tell me where you went!"

Soren, who had been quiet this entire time, finally spoke. "I did that on purpose."

Gawain froze like someone had just unplugged him.

Mikael looked... impressed. Which was concerning.

Agatha? Oh, she looked like she was one second away from pulling out snacks.

"You hear that, My Lady? He admitted it!" Gawain said, shaking me like he had just won a case in court.

"He already told me that."

"...What?"

"Yes."

"And you still went with him?!" he demanded, betrayed.

I stared at him.

Then looked away.

"...Then why didn’t you invite me?" he asked, voice dropping just a little.

"..."

Yeah, no.

I was not answering that.

For emotional safety reasons.

Instead, I started typing something else.

"We only hung out for a while because I’ll be leaving—"

"Leaving?" Gawain cut in immediately, his entire demeanor flipping like a switch. "As in leaving this place? Not seeing these people—" he pointed aggressively at Soren, Mikael, and Agatha like they personally offended him "—anymore?"

"Temporarily," I glared at him for not finishing my sentence. "I’ll be going to the academy."

"What?"

I nodded.

"Then... I can’t also be with you, My Lady?" he asked, suddenly looking... oddly serious.

I nodded again.

Another pause.

A longer one.

Then—

"Fine by me," he said instantly. "As long as I’m out of here."

I narrowed my eyes. That was suspicious. Gawain suddenly agreeing? Yep, something was definitely wrong but before I could interrogate him—

"That’s enough drama for today!" Mikael clapped his hands, effectively cutting through the tension. "Let’s have dinner, shall we? As a celebration for Miss Blanca’s first day of school tomorrow."

We all started moving, well most of us, because before I could even jump from Gawain’s arms, I was being pulled.

I looked to see that Gawain and Soren both reached for me at the same time as they grabbed and pulled in opposite directions.

I froze mid-air, as my body became the unfortunate center of what could only be described as a very personal tug-of-war.

"Nyang—?!" I stretched slightly when they pulled again.

Translation: Excuse me?!

"This is my position," Soren said calmly, holding onto me like I was a perfectly normal arm accessory.

"You already had her the whole day!" Gawain snapped, pulling me the other way. "It’s my turn!"

"I don’t recall there being a schedule."

"Well there should be!"

"Let go," Soren replied calmly, which somehow made it worse.

"I’M HER SERVANT!"

"And I’ll be the one carrying her."

"I CAN CARRY HER TOO!"

"Not safely."

"EXCUSE ME—?!"

Meanwhile, I looked left.

Then right.

Then left again.

Apparently they were really playing tug of war and I was the rope, costing me my own life.

"Gentlemen," Mikael’s voice cut in smoothly, though there was a very clear hint of amusement behind it, "if you break her before dinner, I assume neither of you plans to take responsibility?"

They both paused, just long enough for me to take a deep breath.

"Nyang nya-ang nyaa!"

Translation: Put me down or I bite both of you!

They finally let me go and I dropped.

Right into Mikael’s waiting arms.

’...Wait.

Since when was he there?’

"I believe," Mikael said pleasantly, already walking ahead like he had just successfully stolen me, "it would be best if Miss Blanca remains neutral territory for the time being."

I blinked.

Then slowly relaxed.

You know what?

That was acceptable.

For now.