Beastmen Are Crazy, So I Sell Them Therapy

Sykelion and Finnian returned like responsible employees—if responsible employees meant dumping ten massive boxes right outside the door and calling it a day.

Alongside them were neatly arranged carving tools that looked so expensive I briefly considered stealing them out of spite.

I stared at the pile before staring at them harder.

"...Are you two serious right now?" I asked, incredulous. "You carried all that here and didn’t even think to bring them inside?"

"Getting ripped to shreds isn’t included in my payroll, Miss Crimson," Sykelion replied without even a hint of shame.

I slowly turned to Finnian, hoping for at least one functional brain cell of support.

"Fighting!" He only raised his fist like he was cheering me on in a life-or-death situation.

I blinked. "...You’re both useless."

"I prefer that rather than being called lifeless," Sykelion shot back, giving me a somewhat triumphant smile.

I sighed, rubbing my temple again. "You want me to go over there and carry all of that when this clingy fox won’t even let me take a step without acting like I’m abandoning him?"

Finnian gave a small, polite smile. "We believe in you."

"We can’t do anything else but offer emotional support," Sykelion replied smoothly, already stepping back like a man who valued his limbs.

"Very emotional," Finnian nodded, still holding his fist up like he was contributing something meaningful to society.

I stared at them one last time before giving up on humanity entirely. "...What’s the Duke’s name anyway?"

Sykelion raised a brow. "You don’t know?"

"Why do you think I’m asking?" I shot back.

His face twitched like he was physically holding himself back from saying something unnecessary. "...He is Duke Vesphyr Renardon."

I nodded slowly then turned towards the fox. "...Vesphyr."

One ear twitched, turning to look at me before giving me a smile.

I cleared my throat then crouched slightly to meet his gaze. "Listen... I’m going to go there and pick an energy stone for you, okay?"

He tilted his head as if trying to understand what I’m saying.

"Behave," I added, pointing at him like I was disciplining a very large, very dangerous dog. "And don’t move."

I took one careful step back.

His ears immediately shot up, body tensing like I had just announced I was leaving the country.

"Vesphyr, stay," I said calmly, holding out a hand like I was negotiating with a very fluffy criminal.

His ears slowly drooped.

...Oh no.

Not the "puppy eye" expression.

"Don’t do that," I muttered. "That’s emotional manipulation."

He didn’t move but his eyes followed me closely.

I softened my voice just a little. "I’m not leaving you. I’m just getting my things so I can help you, alright? That’s literally the reason I’m here, remember?"

He shifted slightly, clearly debating whether to ignore my request and follow me anyway.

"Stay," I repeated.

He hesitated but stayed still.

I blinked. "...Huh."

Well...

That worked.

I straightened slightly, surprised. "...Good boy, Vesphyr."

And just like that, his nine tails started wagging all at once.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Meanwhile, just outside the door—where courage went to die and "emotional support" apparently thrived—Sykelion and Finnian stood frozen, both staring at what they had just witnessed.

Finnian’s mouth was slightly open.

Actually—no.

Not slightly.

Concerningly open.

"...Are you seeing this right now?" he finally said, voice somewhere between awe and existential crisis.

"I’m not blind," Sykelion replied flatly, though his tone lacked its usual composure.

Finnian slowly turned to him. "Name one person, just one, who managed to tame a beastman consumed by Hysteria."

"..."

"...Exactly," Finnian continued, pointing dramatically towards the room like he was presenting a once-in-a-lifetime discovery. "None. Absolutely none. And yet, there she is. Doing it like she’s training a house pet."

Inside, Vesphyr’s tails wagged again.

Finnian clutched his chest. "The Duke... looks like a well-behaved puppy." He let out a disbelieving laugh. "I can’t believe I’m saying that out loud and still alive."

Sykelion didn’t laugh.

He couldn’t because his mind was already spiraling somewhere far more dangerous.

’Fated mates.’

The thought slipped in, uninvited.

’Was that really enough to suppress Hysteria...?’

Or—

His gaze shifted slightly toward the door.

’Was it her?’

Because this wasn’t normal.

Not even close.

He had seen countless cases that are violent, uncontrollable, and devastating. Hysteria wasn’t something you soothed with just a few words and a head pat.

And yet she did it effortlessly.

Sykelion exhaled slowly, trying to organize the chaos in his thoughts. "Hey, Finnian," he suddenly said..

"Yeah?"

"...Did you also order an energy stone from her?"

Finnian blinked, caught off guard by the shift in topic. "Huh? Yeah. Why?"

Sykelion didn’t answer immediately.

Finnian scratched the back of his head. "I mean, I heard from others it worked wonders, so I gave it a try and it’s true. The dizziness, the headaches, they were instantly gone. And that was just a low-grade one."

Sykelion’s eyes narrowed slightly.

Low-grade and yet effective enough to stabilize symptoms that normally required far more refined stones.

His gaze drifted back to the door. "...This is not normal."

Finnian snorted. "You think?"

"No," Sykelion said quietly, more to himself than to Finnian. "I mean truly not normal."

Finnian stretched his arms behind his head, completely oblivious to the weight of Sykelion’s thoughts. "Well, whatever it is, I’m not complaining. If she can keep the Duke like that, I vote we never let her leave."

Sykelion didn’t respond.

For the first time, he was starting to wonder if letting her leave was even an option anymore.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

"Hm... not this... not this... definitely not this!" I muttered, ruthlessly tossing one energy stone after another like I was judging contestants in a very unforgiving beauty pageant.

After dragging all ten boxes into the center of the room—by myself, because apparently "emotional support" doesn’t include lifting—I started sorting through them properly.

One pile: acceptable.

Second pile: absolutely not.

Third pile: what were they even thinking?

"Oooh..." I held one up, tilting it against the light. "Now this has potential."

I glanced at Vesphyr.

He was still exactly where I left him, watching me like I was the most fascinating thing in existence.

"...Vesphyr, come!"

That was all it took.

One second he was across the room. The next, he was instantly right in front of me, nuzzling into my shoulder.

A small laugh slipped out. "You’re really just a puppy, aren’t you?"

His tails swished happily, completely unoffended by the downgrade.

I raised the energy stone, comparing its color to his fur, turning it slightly for better light.

"...Close."

I squinted.

"...But I don’t like it."

Yeet.

The stone flew across the room.

"Miss Crimson, can you at least be careful in tossing the energy stones you don’t like?"

I looked towards the door.

Sykelion was standing there, his polite smile twitching like it was fighting for its life.

"You mean this...?" I said innocently and tossed another one.

He physically inhaled sharply then exhaled like a man trying not to commit a crime. "...Yes."

"Then come inside and catch them," I said sweetly. "Think of it as bonding."

His eye twitched.

Ah.

There it was.

He slowly turned his head towards Finnian. "Go inside and assist Miss Crimson."

Finnian blinked. "Me?" He pointed at himself like this was the worst betrayal of his life. "I’m sorry, but I’m not even the Duke’s aide. That sounds like your job."

And then, in a move that deserved recognition, he tripped very dramatically right into Sykelion, shoving him straight into the room.

"Oh my! I’m so sorry!" Finnian gasped, placing a hand over his mouth with the worst acting performance I had ever seen.

I burst out laughing again. I couldn’t help it. It was beautiful.

Sykelion stumbled forward, barely catching himself.

Before he could turn around and strangle Finnian, Vesphyr gave him a warning growl.

Sykelion froze.

"...Of course," he muttered under his breath.

"Vesphyr, behave," I said casually, not even looking up from the stone I was inspecting.

He instantly stopped as he huffed softly and curled beside me instead, completely ignoring Sykelion.

I hummed, tossing another stone over my shoulder.

"So..." I said, glancing up at Sykelion who was now standing awkwardly like an unwanted guest at his own estate, "...are you just going to stand there and watch me redecorate your floor with rejected stones?"

He looked at the scattered chaos, then at me, then at the fox who would absolutely end him if he made the wrong move.

"...I’ll... observe," he said carefully.

I smiled dangerously sweet at him. "Wrong answer."

I picked up another stone and tossed it straight at him.

He caught it instantly.

I clicked my tongue. ’I was hoping it would hit his face...’

"Don’t worry," I said casually, waving a hand. "The Duke is behaved right now. He won’t bother you."

Sykelion didn’t look convinced.

In fact, he looked like a man who had just been reassigned from "estate manager" to "personal stone catcher under threat of death."

Still he bent down, picked up the scattered stones then stood there, silently waiting like a maid.

After a few more minutes of me aggressively judging minerals, I finally paused.

"...Oh."

I held it up, turning it slowly.

It had a black base, deep and rich just like his fur. Inside, there were threads of green, blue, and red shimmering faintly beneath the surface just like his eyes.

"Perfect."

I stood up slowly, brushing invisible dust off my clothes before turning towards Vesphyr. "Let’s get you back to human, shall we?"