Beastmen Are Crazy, So I Sell Them Therapy

The moment Soren and Spade disappeared into the crowd, I turned my head toward Agatha then immediately typed on my OmniSync:

"Let’s go hide somewhere else."

Agatha nodded without hesitation as she chose to hide inside a public comfort room.

"..."

Look.

Was it glamorous?

No.

Was it dignified?

Absolutely not.

Was it effective?

Also... questionable.

But it was available, and at this point, we were making decisions based on urgency, not pride.

Agatha locked the stall door behind us as she finally handed me my energy stone.

I grabbed it like it was the solution to all my problems—because it kind of was—and activated it.

A brief pulse of energy later and I was once again human.

Finally.

I stretched slightly, flexing my fingers, feeling my balance return.

"So," I said, brushing my hair back, "where’s Gawain?"

"..."

There was a very long pause before she began to speak carefully, "The... about that."

I narrowed my eyes.

"We encountered a little problem."

I closed my eyes briefly, slowly inhaling and exhaling.

"It’s about Gawain, isn’t it?" I said, already trying to mentally prepare myself for disappointment.

At this point, I wasn’t even surprised anymore. This was just how my life worked now.

"I..." Agatha hesitated.

Actually hesitated.

Which was already a bad sign.

"I may have also participated in it..." she admitted carefully.

I slowly turned my head towards her. "...Even you?"

Agatha nodded.

And—this was new—she looked embarrassed.

’Oh, this is bad.’

"What happened?"

Flashback

Agatha had made a terrible decision.

Gawain, in his snake form, was currently hidden under her skirt.

Again.

She could have hidden him somewhere else.

Probably.

Maybe.

...Actually, no.

She really couldn’t.

So, just like the first time—against her better judgment, her dignity, and arguably her will to live—she had no choice but to let Gawain coil himself around her leg and stay there.

It was supposed to be a perfect, flawless plan but in reality, it felt like someone had attached a mildly annoying, slightly heavy, constantly talking accessory to her leg.

While she was the embodiment of composure and picture of grace, Gawain was the embodiment of disaster and picture of chaos.

Every step she took was accompanied by the overwhelming urge to commit a crime. "Stop. Moving," she whispered under her breath.

"I’m not moving, I’m adjusting," Gawain whispered back.

"Then stop adjusting."

"At least admit this is weird."

"Be quiet."

"I’m literally folded like a pretzel."

"You’re a snake."

"I have dignity."

"Debatable."

"I can’t feel half my body."

"Good."

Yet Gawain shifted.

Again.

And again.

And again.

Agatha’s eye twitched.

She endured it silently because she was disciplined, trained, and refuse to let something like this break her.

But Gawain had clearly woken up that day and chose violence.

"This is uncomfortable," he muttered under his breath.

Agatha ignored him.

"I think I’m slipping."

Ignore.

"You walk too fast."

Ignore.

"Do you even know how hard it is to maintain this form for this long?"

Ignore.

"...Why am I the one suffering for the lady’s plans?"

That did it.

Agatha stopped, her grip tightened ever so slightly but her expression remained calm. Internally, she was this close to flinging him across the district and pretending she never knew him.

She deeply inhaled again. She just needed to endure a little longer. Just a little more.

A few more steps, a few more breaths, and a few more seconds of tolerating an annoying rope wrapped around her leg that refused to shut up.

Agatha told herself this with the discipline of someone who had survived far worse.

’Patience,’ she reminded herself.

’Patience is a virtue.’

Unfortunately, patience, as it turns out, had limits and hers was rapidly approaching critical failure.

So the moment they entered the Regional Network District, she was done.

Completely.

Utterly.

Done.

She spotted a corner, turned sharply and without hesitation, she lifted her skirt just enough and kicked him out.

Literally.

Gawain rolled onto the ground like discarded luggage.

"What the hell?" he muttered, immediately shifting back into his human form, brushing himself off. "After all the time we spent in your room?"

Agatha pulled out a dagger and in one smooth motion, she pointed it directly at his neck. "We did not spend time in my room."

Gawain smirked. "Did you forget last night?" he asked, smirking like he had a death wish.

"I remember," Agatha said coldly, "you sleeping on the floor while I slept on my bed."

"Then we did spend time together in your room," he said, entirely too pleased with himself.

Agatha closed her eyes, not to rest, but to avoid committing murder.

When she opened them again, she was back to business.

She lowered the dagger slightly and spoke through clenched patience. "Just stay close," she said flatly. "When I give you the signal, you will ’coincidentally’ run into the lady."

"Yeah, yeah, I know what to do," Gawain waved his hand dismissively. "Go on now."

Agatha’s eye twitched again but said nothing as she turned and walked away, rejoining Soren like nothing had happened.

—

Unfortunately, someone had been watching.

Aquila.

He had been secretly tailing Soren from the start.

Which meant, he had seen Gawain lurking, following, and looking like a man who had absolutely no business being there.

Agatha noticed this as she immediately signaled Gawain. "You’re compromised. Hide. Now."

Gawain, for once, took the hint and vanished.

End of flashback.

Agatha crossed her arms, completely composed again.

"To make the long story short," she said calmly, "I got annoyed by Gawain, let him follow us, but one of Master’s subordinates caught him acting suspiciously."

She paused then added, without a hint of concern:

"So now Master is probably looking for him."

I stared at her silently before I placed a hand over my face. "...We had one job."

One.

Simple.

Job.

And now Soren was out there looking for Gawain.

I slowly dragged my hand down my face. "...This is fine."

It was not fine.

Nothing was fine.

Everything was, in fact, spectacularly not fine.

We had lost Gawain.

Soren was probably out there hunting him like a bloodhound with trust issues.

And I had just transformed back into a human with very noticeable red eyes.

Yes.

This was going great.

"We need to find him," I said, forcing calm into my voice. "But before that, I need something to cover my eyes."

"Indeed, My Lady. A leopard with... red eyes is quite rare."

"...You’re not helping."

"My apologies."

She certainly did not sound apologetic.

Not even a little.

I exhaled. "Let’s go to a boutique first."

Because priorities.

Because survival.

Because I refused to get caught looking like a walking ’spot the anomaly’ poster.

Agatha paused.

Ah.

Here it comes.

"But what about Gawain?"

I stared at the stall door like it had personally betrayed me.

Then I sighed.

Deeply.

With the weight of someone who had already accepted chaos as a lifestyle.

"He can handle himself."

Agatha tilted her head slightly. "...My Lady."

"Yes?"

"He was recently kicked out from under my skirt."

I closed my eyes. "...I am aware."

"He was also immediately marked as suspicious by one of Master’s subordinates."

"I am also aware."

Another pause.

"...And Master is currently looking for him."

I opened my eyes. "Yes, Agatha," I said, my voice perfectly calm in the way that meant I was one inconvenience away from screaming into the void. "That is why we are not going to run around blindly like headless chickens."

A beat.

"We are going to a boutique."

Another beat.

"I am going to buy a mask."

Agatha blinked. "...Understood."

"Good."

I turned toward the door, already mentally preparing myself.

New plan.

Step one: Do not get caught.

Step two: Acquire disguise.

Step three: Somehow locate Gawain before Soren does.

Step four: Question every life decision that led to this moment.

I reached for the handle, paused, then glanced back at Agatha.

"...If we find him first," I added, "I’m throwing him back under your skirt."

Agatha’s expression didn’t change, not even a flicker. But somehow, the air around her dropped five degrees.

"...Respectfully, My Lady—"

"Annoyed already?" I cut in.

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

A pause.

"...Okay maybe a little."

I folded my arms, giving her a look.

She met it calmly.

She could probably maintain composure in the middle of a collapsing building.

"Perhaps," she continued smoothly, as if we weren’t just arguing like children, "I should locate Gawain while I escort you to a boutique. We would cover more ground that way, and you can focus on acquiring a proper disguise."

I immediately know that gaze. It was the ’I would like to be as far away from both you and Gawain as possible’ gaze.

"Fine," I didn’t argue anymore as I was worried about Soren finding out that I can already turn into human.

I I pushed the stall door open as we stepped out of the comfort room.

I adjusted my sleeves, scanning the bustling district. "Find Gawain before Soren does," I muttered.

Agatha gave a small nod. "No promises.’

I paused mid-step. "...Agatha."

"Yes, My Lady?"

"Be serious."

"I am."

’That was somehow worse.’

I sighed. "Just go."

She disappeared into the crowd almost instantly, blending in like she was never there to begin with.