Beastmen Are Crazy, So I Sell Them Therapy

We were the last class assigned to infiltrate.

At first, I thought it sounded exciting.

Then reality arrived.

Painfully.

Because during the first round, when we acted as Rogues, I had apparently gotten slightly too immersed in the role.

At the time, terrorizing infiltrators with my whip sword had been incredibly entertaining.

Now?

Now we were the ones being hunted.

The moment our class stepped inside the massive tower, I immediately felt killing intent from every direction.

Not metaphorically.

Physically.

Like thousands of invisible lasers were drilling into the back of my skull.

And then—

"DON’T KILL BLANCA! SHE’S MINE!"

My entire body froze.

Another voice echoed from somewhere above us.

"I SWEAR IF I SEE HER I’LL TORTURE HER FIRST!"

"BLANCA’S MY TARGET!"

"GO FIND YOUR OWN VICTIM!"

"I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE OTHERS, I JUST WANT REVENGE!"

"DO YOU KNOW HOW TRAUMATIZING THAT SHIT WAS WHEN SHE CHASED ME?!"

"You’re lucky she only chased you!"

"BLANCAAAAA!"

"BLANCA’S MINE!"

I slowly turned toward my classmates.

They were all staring at me.

Not with sympathy.

With acceptance.

Like soldiers preparing to send someone to war.

One classmate patted my shoulder solemnly. "Condolence."

"We’ll do our best to find the target point," another said.

"I hope you replenished your energy beforehand."

"You’ll bring honor to Altaire Class by becoming bait."

I winced. "Why does everyone sound so ready to sacrifice me?!"

Stephano clicked his tongue. "Because you created this problem yourself."

"I’m not the only one who terrorized them," I shot back immediately before pointing at him accusingly.

"You traumatized people with your mouth. You were literally chasing students while screaming curses at them like some unhinged grandma."

"That’s psychological warfare," Stephano defended himself.

"That’s emotional damage," Diana corrected.

Meanwhile, Sebastian looked completely delighted. "I didn’t know you traumatized this many people, Bella."

I pointed at him next. "Excuse me? You terrorized a whole group by destroying a door with your axe and yelling, ’Here’s Sebby!’"

Sebastian looked proud instead of ashamed. "And it worked."

"Someone cried!" Julienne added flatly.

"They surrendered before I even entered the room," Sebastian said, sounding offended that I would criticize efficiency.

Somewhere above us, another scream echoed.

"IF YOU SEE BLANCA, CALL ME FIRST!"

My soul nearly left my body.

Even Gawain looked concerned now. "My Lady," he said carefully, "perhaps... you truly did overdo it."

"You," I narrowed my eyes at him accusingly. "Weren’t you also with me while we chased people around the tower?"

Gawain looked offended. "I was simply supporting you."

"You kicked down a storage room door."

"It was unlocked."

"You still kicked it!"

"That was for dramatic effect."

Stephano snorted. "You two were like escaped asylum patients."

"At least we had teamwork," I shot back proudly.

I immediately turned towards Ravian for support since he was the only somewhat reasonable person here. "Did I really overdo it?"

Ravian smiled. "Yes."

My heart cracked slightly.

"Honestly," he continued calmly, "even I almost forgot I was supposed to be a Rogue and wanted to run away from you."

I pointed at him in betrayal. "Don’t act like Mister Goody-Two-Shoes! You were terrifying too!"

Ravian blinked. "Me?"

"Yes, you!" I exclaimed. "You somehow terrorized people just by walking slowly! You kept calmly following them with a dagger raised like you were about to stab their entire bloodline!"

"Where did you even find a dagger?" Anthony suddenly butted in from behind us.

Ravian looked at him. "Summoning my soul weapon would exhaust my mana so I looked for another way to acquire a weapon."

Vivienne cut in smoothly. "But Blanca, you were definitely the scariest out of all of us."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Don’t sweet talk me. You traumatized people too."

Vivienne blinked innocently. "I did nothing though."

A random voice from somewhere behind the crowd suddenly shouted, "DON’T SCOLD VIVIENNE! SHE DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!"

I whipped my head around immediately. "Who said that?"

Silence.

I squinted suspiciously at the crowd but nobody stepped forward.

"See?" Vivienne said sweetly.

I pointed at her dramatically. "You terrorized people with your face."

"...What?"

"One look at you and students started fainting on their own," I declared. "That’s advanced psychological warfare."

To my shock, several classmates nodded seriously.

"She’s right."

"I saw someone surrender after eye contact alone."

"One student jumped out the window voluntarily."

"It was only the second floor but still..."

Before Ravian could respond, a loud metallic screech echoed through the tower.

Everyone froze as we heard a shout.

"ALTAIRE CLASS SPOTTED ON THE THIRD FLOOR!"

Everyone immediately looked at me.

I pointed at myself. "Why are you all looking at me like I’m the main problem?!"

"...Because you are," Julienne answered quietly.

"RUN!" I screamed before sprinting away first.

"You abandoned us immediately?!" Diana yelled while running after me.

"This is called leadership!"

"That’s not leadership!"

Behind us, footsteps exploded through the halls.

"BLANCAAAA!"

I looked back once and immediately regretted it.

At least fifteen students were charging toward us with murderous intent in their eyes.

One of them was carrying a chair.

"WHY DOES HE HAVE A CHAIR?!" I shrieked.

"I think that’s personal revenge!" Sebastian laughed beside me while somehow still looking relaxed.

"STOP ENJOYING THIS!" 𝗳𝐫𝚎𝗲𝚠𝚎𝗯𝕟𝐨𝘃𝚎𝗹.𝗰𝗼𝗺

"I can’t! This is the funniest thing I’ve seen all month!"

Stephano clicked his tongue as he ran ahead. "Split up."

"No!" I refused instantly. "That’s exactly what victims in horror movies do!"

Another student pointed at me from behind.

"SHE WENT THAT WAY!"

"STOP ANNOUNCING MY LOCATION LIKE I’M A LIMITED-TIME EVENT!" I yelled.

Ravian grabbed my arm and pulled me around the corner just as a whip cracked against the wall behind us.

The student from earlier grinned maniacally. "FOUND YOU!"

"Knife man," I whispered in horror. "protect me!"

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Outside the Tower

A gigantic holographic screen floated in the air, displaying the chaos happening inside in real time.

And by chaos—

It was specifically zoomed in on one white-haired menace running for her life while dragging half her class down with her.

Four instructors were openly laughing.

Only one looked seconds away from committing homicide.

Dmitri Grant.

"You see?" Nueve wheezed, clutching his stomach while pointing at the screen. "I told you your class was entertaining!"

On screen, Blanca’s voice echoed dramatically.

"Knife man, protect me!"

Ravian stared at her with visible disappointment.

Meanwhile, Karin Derya, another instructor wiped tears from her eyes. "Why does she keep giving people titles instead of names?"

"Because she refuses to remember names she doesn’t care about," Dmitri answered darkly.

"That’s worse!" Nueve laughed harder.

Sheng Hai, another instructor pointed at the screen as Sebastian casually kicked a student trying to ambush him. "That Grimm boy is insane too."

"He destroyed three doors during the previous round," Dmitri muttered. "One of them was unnecessary."

"It was stylish though," Nueve defended.

Dmitri dragged a hand down his face.

On screen, the camera shifted again.

"THERE’S BLANCA!"

Immediately, nearly fifty students changed directions at once.

Blanca’s horrified scream echoed through the grounds.

"WHY ARE YOU ALL SO OBSESSED WITH ME?!"

Nueve almost collapsed laughing. "She really united the entire academy against her!"

"She weaponized emotional trauma," Afri Tadah, another instructor added.

Dmitri’s eye twitched as he watched Blanca shove Stephano towards incoming enemies.

"TACTICAL SACRIFICE!" Blanca yelled onscreen.

"YOU PIECE OF SHIT—!" Stephano’s voice cut off as students tackled him.

The instructors burst into another round of laughter.

Even some eliminated students watching outside were laughing now.

Only Dmitri remained completely still. "...I should expel her."

"You say that every week," Nueve said, busy clutching his stomach.

"And every week she somehow gets worse."

Onscreen, Blanca suddenly pointed upward dramatically. "Split up! They can’t chase all of us!"

A beat of silence passed between them before every single enemy student screamed the same thing at once—

"CHASE BLANCA!"

She froze before running away faster. "DAMN YOU ALL! I WASN’T THE ONLY ONE WHO TRAUMATIZED YOU GUYS!"

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Behind me, the roar of footsteps multiplied.

"The others only chased and fought us," someone yelled, voice cracking with emotional exhaustion, "but you traumatized us instead of fighting properly so we had no choice but to surrender willingly!"

As if being chased wasn’t enough, they started throwing their weapons at me.

Something whistled past my ear.

A spear.

A whip snapped across the air.

A sword clattered against the floor.

A dagger spun dangerously close to my head.

An arrow embedded itself into the wall right beside my face.

Something large almost knocked me out.

"A CHAIR?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" I yelled, ducking so fast I almost kissed the floor.

Then—

A wig flew past.

I actually stopped for half a second mid-run.

"WHO THREW THE WIG?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!"

"IT WAS SPARE!"

"That’s not how weapons work!"

I pivoted sharply into a side corridor when a bomb rolled into the hallway.

BOOM!

The explosion shook the corridor, smoke flooding the air.

I whipped my head around mid-run. "WHY IS THERE A BOMB?! ARE YOU REALLY TRYING TO KILL ME?!"

Someone yelled back immediately, "JUST SURRENDER!"

"NO!"

"DON’T SURRENDER! WE STILL NEED TO TORTURE YOU!"

"THAT’S NOT A WIN CONDITION!"

"I CAN HEAR ALL OF YOU, YOU KNOW!"

A third voice, completely breathless, screamed, "WHY ARE YOU SO FAST?!"

"I’M RUNNING OUT OF FEAR-BASED FUEL!" I snapped back without thinking.

Another explosion rattled the corridor.