Beastmen Are Crazy, So I Sell Them Therapy

Meanwhile, Dmitri Grant had been standing there the entire time with his brows furrowed so hard it looked like they were about to file for separation.

His eyes slowly shifted—

from the ring...

to the troublemaker...

then to the rest of the students...

who were all listening intently to her commentary.

Dmitri dragged a hand down his face like a man reconsidering every life decision that led him to this moment.

’Is this student seriously commentating right now?’ he thought. ’This is a graded performance, not a live broadcast!’

Behind him, someone whistled.

"Yooow, Dmitri!"

Of course.

Nueve Nieves.

The human equivalent of unnecessary noise.

He strolled up like he owned the place, hands in his pockets, grinning like he just came for entertainment and snacks.

"So?" Nueve said, glancing at the ring before immediately getting distracted by the far more interesting spectacle happening outside it. "Anyone catch your attention?"

Dmitri didn’t answer immediately.

Because unfortunately—

There were.

"...There are," he said finally.

Nueve blinked.

Once.

Then twice.

"Wait—you?" he said, pointing at him like he’d just witnessed a historical event. "You’re picky as hell when it comes to recruits. Last time you rejected someone for ’breathing wrong.’"

"They were breathing wrong," Dmitri said flatly.

"Right," Nueve muttered, already not believing him. He leaned forward, squinting at the students. "So which ones?"

Dmitri’s gaze flicked—briefly—to the ring making his brow twitched.

"Mind your own business," Dmitri said, pointing lazily to the other side of the field. "Go look at your own class. You’re just going to steal them anyway."

Nueve grinned wider.

"Ahh, so there are interesting ones," he said, completely ignoring the dismissal. "Now I’m curious."

"Be curious somewhere else."

Instead of leaving, Nueve leaned beside him, arms resting casually as he watched the chaos unfold.

"Compared to your students, all the students in my class are meh," Nueve said, stretching lazily like he wasn’t currently insulting his own class. "Just let me stay here for a while."

Dmitri didn’t even get a chance to respond.

His class suddenly reacted at once—half erupting into cheers, the other half collapsing into silent despair like they had just failed an exam they didn’t know they were taking.

"NOOOO!" Blanca screamed, dropping to her knees in full theatrical despair.

"This is rigged!"

"It’s not rigged!" another voice fired back. "Just admit that your team lost!"

"GO ON, JUST ANNOUNCE THE WINNER ALREADY!" a student in the back shouted.

Blanca clicked her tongue dramatically, stood up like she had just survived betrayal, and pointed at the ring with all the authority of someone who had emotionally given up on fairness.

"And the winner of this—unfortunately rigged sparring—are Silvano Orientaly and Chester Abbott!" she declared, voice dripping with disappointment.

Silence.

Then loud, chaotic, unfiltered laughter filled the area.

"That’s what you get for being biased!"

"Justice for Anthony!"

"Rigged match arc confirmed!"

Blanca ignored them all, storming towards the ring. "What the hell was that? You were this close to winning and you suddenly slipped?!"

Inside the ring, someone shrugged like it was a casual inconvenience.

Dmitri slowly pinched the bridge of his nose. "That girl really is a troublemaker," he muttered.

Beside him, Nueve was openly laughing now, shoulders shaking. "Pfft—okay wait," he said, wiping a tear. "Your class is actually insane. Why is this so entertaining?"

"It wasn’t supposed to be entertaining," Dmitri said flatly.

Nueve pointed toward the crowd. "It is because of her, isn’t it?"

Dmitri followed his gaze and exhaled through his nose. "Yes," he admitted reluctantly. "Meet Blanca Frostine."

Nueve blinked. "That’s her? The one with negative points?"

"I can’t bother explaining anymore," Dmitri muttered, pulling out his OmniSync. "Just watch her evaluation test."

With a flick of his wrist, he projected the video as chaos replayed itself in full HD.

Nueve watched for about three seconds then burst out laughing. "Pfft—HAHAHAHA! Wait, wait—Dmitri, why does this remind me of you back in training?"

Dmitri’s eye twitched. "I am not like that."

Nueve wiped a tear from laughing. "Sure. Totally different energy. Yours was ’controlled chaos.’ Hers is just—"

He gestured vaguely towards the field where Blanca was still calmly narrating destruction like a sports caster.

"—whatever that is."

Dmitri exhaled slowly through his teeth.

"...Yeah," he muttered finally. "This is worse."

Nueve laughed harder. "I’m staying. This is way better than my class."

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

"Blanca Frostine and Sebastian Grimm," Dmitri announced.

Finally.

I cracked my neck as I stepped into the ring, rolling my shoulders like I wasn’t about to make several questionable life decisions.

Gawain definitely threw that last match. I could tell. That subtle hesitation? That "oops I lost" energy? Yeah, I already know the answer.

He was afraid of attention so he held himself back, which totally frustrated me because he couldn’t even show off his skills properly.

And now, all that pent-up frustration he didn’t release? Yeah, that’s basically my new personal stress ball.

"You’ll be sparring with Ravian Caspiold and Vivienne Rosenthal," Dmitri continued.

Fate really woke up today and chose violence.

Ravian waved at me like we were meeting at a café instead of about to beat each other up. "What you said came true," he called out with a grin. "I guess this isn’t over."

I smiled sweetly. "Did I say that? I don’t recall but whatever I said earlier? That was definitely over."

He smiled as I immediately turned away.

’Nope. Not dealing with that.’

Since he’s the male lead—and unfortunately competent—I already knew: fighting him directly was a terrible idea.

A very career-ending idea.

I turned to Sebastian, grabbing his sleeve slightly. "No matter what," I whispered urgently, pointing at Ravian like he was a dangerous animal, "do not let that psycho near me."

Ravian, across the ring, looked like he was having the time of his life.

Sebastian glanced between us, clearly enjoying every second of this. "And if I do that," he said lazily, "what do I get in return?"

I didn’t even hesitate. "Name it. Anything. As long as I won’t have to deal with him."

He raised a brow. "Anything?"

That sounded dangerous but so was Ravian.

I looked back at Ravian again.

He waved again, smiling menacingly.

I turned back to Sebastian. "...Within reason," I added quickly.

Sebastian chuckled. "Too late. You already said anything."

I narrowed my eyes. "If you ask for something weird, I will personally sabotage your life."

"Relax," he said, stepping forward like he had already accepted the deal. "Just don’t cry when I cash it in."

"Worry about yourself," I muttered.

Across from us, Vivienne stood poised and graceful, like she belonged in a painting instead of a battlefield.

Ravian, meanwhile, cracked his knuckles. "Oh, this is going to be fun," he said.

"No," I said immediately. "It’s not."

Ting!

The signal rang as I quickly took one step back.

"Sebastian," I said under my breath, already moving behind him like a professional coward, "your moment has come. Go be great."

"You’re unbelievable," he laughed.

"Yes," I agreed. "Now go fight him before he notices I exist."

"You do realize this is a two-on-two sparring, right?"

I forgot about that.

I was so focused on avoiding Ravian—the walking boss fight—that I completely forgot there was another threat.

A very pretty and dangerous threat.

I slowly turned my head to see Vivienne was already sprinting towards me.

Oh no.

Oh no no no.

I ran without hesitation instead of attacking her.

"SEBASTIAN! HELP!" I shouted, bolting in the most graceful, dignified panic I could manage—which, for the record, looked like a chicken escaping responsibility.

"My hands are full!" he shouted back. "Do you think this guy is easy to deal with?!"

"Then be quick!"

"Are you ordering me right now?"

"We had a deal!"

"Nice teamwork," Ravian cut in dryly, right before kicking Sebastian straight in the stomach. "but you’re in the middle of a fight, so can you shut up?"

Thud—

Sebastian grunted but caught Ravian’s leg mid-motion, shoving him back. "You know I don’t ignore girls, right?"

"Focus," Ravian said, already moving again.

Meanwhile, I was still running in literal circles around the ring.

"Blanca, stop running!" someone shouted.

"No!" I shouted back. "This is strategy!"

"Strategy for what? Dying tired?!"

"Better than dying still!"

Vivienne was annoyingly fast. Graceful, elegant, and terrifying like a swan if swans were trained assassins.

"Blanca," she called sweetly.

"WHY ARE YOU SO FAST?!" I shouted, swerving to the side as she almost grabbed me.

"Come on, don’t run," she added, still smiling.

"No thanks, I choose life!"

She closed the distance and when I glanced back, she was right behind me..

"SEBASTIAN, I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING BAD I EVER SAID ABOUT YOU—HELP ME NOW—"

"I CAN’T! HE WON’T STOP ATTACKING!"

"THAT’S HIS JOB!"

"AND THIS IS YOURS!"

"MY JOB IS NOT DYING!"

Ravian snorted mid-fight. "Honestly," he said between blows, "I’m impressed. You’ve turned sparring into a marathon."

"Thank you!" I shot back, ducking as Vivienne’s strike narrowly missed me. "I train daily against responsibilities!"

I ducked when something whizzed past me.

’How is she still attacking me?!’

"Sebastian, I swear if I die—"

"You won’t," he cut in, blocking Ravian again. "You’re too loud to die."

"THAT’S NOT REASSURING!"

"Blanca, you can’t run forever," Vivienne said, still trying to end my existence.

"Watch me!" I shouted breathlessly as I turned around only to bump into Sebastian.

We both stumbled as I latched onto his arm like my life depended on it.

"She’s behind me, isn’t she?" I whispered.

"Yes."

"Protect me."

"If I lose, you’ll be left fighting both of them," he said flatly. "So cooperate and actually fight."

"I can just surrender," I muttered.

"That’s not an option. Do you want to drag the whole team down with you?"

"...Fine."

He pulled me up and I immediately let go mid-stand and rolled away as Vivienne’s flying kick barely missed my face.

Whoosh 𝒻𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘸ℯ𝒷𝘯𝘰𝑣ℯ𝑙.𝘤𝑜𝘮

I felt wind but for a split second, I thought that was my soul leaving my body.

’Think. Think. Think.’

Running clearly wasn’t working.

Hiding wasn’t working.

Begging for help? Also not working.

So—

A slow, dangerous smile crept onto my face.

Alright.

If I’m going down, I’m going down unfairly.

I waited as Vivienne advanced again.

Closer.

Closer.

Now.

I snapped my hand forward as my whip sword materialized in a flash and struck.

She didn’t have time to dodge as the blade wrapped and clipped around her leg.

The entire class went silent.

"...Oh," I said, blinking. "That worked."

Somewhere in the distance, a soul left a body.

"HEY YOU TROLL!" Stephano exploded somewhere behind me. "THAT’S NOT ALLOWED! WHY WOULD YOU SUMMON YOUR SOUL WEAPON?!"

I turned around, offended. "Oh, come on! Are you even my team? At least defend me and not somone else!"

This lovesick fool was really out here defending his murderous princess.

"Boo!"

"Disqualified!"

"That’s cheating!"

"You should be punished!"

I ignored all of them and looked straight at Instructor Grant. "Sir," I politely said, "did you ever say we can’t use our soul weapons during sparring?"

The noise died down as everyone turned to look at him.

"No," he finally said after a pause. "I didn’t say anything like that, I only said you’d be sparring."

The entire class froze.

Behind him, the other instructor burst out laughing and smacked his back like he’d just witnessed something beautiful.

"Damn! You found another one like you!" He laughed. "Always hunting for loopholes! I love it!"

I didn’t know who he was but I liked him.

I turned back to the battlefield, where all three of them were still staring at me like I had just rewritten the rules of existence.

I grinned. "Let’s continue!"

Sebastian didn’t hesitate, his weapon appeared instantly as he launched at Ravian, catching him off guard for once.

Meanwhile I looked at Vivienne who was now backing away slightly.

’Oh?’

Oh, how the tables have turned.

I twirled my whip sword lightly as I giggled under my breath before chasing her.

"Blanca, that’s cheating!" someone shouted.

"No," I called back cheerfully, swinging again, "that’s strategy!"

Vivienne dodged this time.

"Running isn’t so fun now, is it?" I said sweetly, advancing.

She narrowed her eyes at me.

Behind me, Sebastian and Ravian were clashing harder now that weapons were involved.