Beastmen Are Crazy, So I Sell Them Therapy

After breakfast, Agatha escorted me back to my room like I was some delicate noble in need of immediate spa services.

She bathed me, brushed my fur until I looked like a luxury throw pillow, and was just about to finish when I leaned closer and whispered, "Gawang..."

She stiffened for half a second, then nodded like a soldier receiving classified orders. "I’ll get him as fast as I can. For now, distract the master, my lady."

I nodded with all the confidence of someone who had absolutely no plan.

The moment she opened the door, Soren was already there.

Before I could even pretend to be busy licking my paw, he scooped me right out of Agatha’s arms like I belonged there.

I twisted my head just in time to see Agatha already backing away.

’Traitor.’

I slowly turned my head back to Soren, already brainstorming ways to distract him.

Unfortunately, my brain clocked out the moment I actually looked at him.

I frowned. ’Does this man have no sense of fashion?’

He was dressed like a walking power outage.

Black shirt, black tactical pants, black cap, black mask—if he stood in a dark corner, society would file a missing person report and never find him again.

I genuinely couldn’t tell if we were going on a casual outing or if he was about to infiltrate a top-secret facility.

Without thinking, I raised a paw and pointed at him, then looked up at his face.

My expression probably translated to: What in the name of poor life choices are you wearing?

"It’s because I’m famous," he said, completely unprompted and with the confidence of a man who has never been told he’s wrong. "I don’t want someone to recognize me and ruin our trip."

I stared at him, then slowly dragged my gaze back down to his outfit.

’...Dude, you will absolutely be recognized. Not as Commander Soren Markhelov but as a suspicious person walking in broad daylight.’

With the urgency of someone burdened by both truth and excellent taste, I pulled out my OmniSync and started typing like my life depended on it.

"Everyone will definitely look at you... but for a different reason. You look like you’re about to rob a bank."

He didn’t even flinch. "I don’t care."

"At least change your shirt or cap!" I typed, aggressively stabbing the screen like that would change his personality.

"No."

I stared at him.

He stared back.

There was a long, silent moment where I came to a horrifying realization.

’This man had the flexibility of a brick wall. Emotionally. Mentally. Probably physically too.’

I took a deep, imaginary breath. ’Change of plans.’

"I think white or blue looks good on you," I typed again.

He froze. "...Really?"

I raised a brow at the sudden personality shift but nodded seriously. "Really."

And just like that, the intimidating, all-black menace disappeared—replaced by a guy who looked like he just got complimented for the first time since birth.

He looked away, clearly trying to act normal and failing spectacularly. "...I don’t even have that kind of color," he admitted.

And yet, despite that, he turned around and started walking back toward his room.

’...Look at this guy...’

In the end, I was the one picking clothes while he stood there and modeled them like a very obedient, slightly confused mannequin.

"Turn."

He turned.

"Again."

He turned again.

"Stop looking like you’re about to assassinate someone."

"...This is just my face."

We went through at least five outfits.

Five.

’Do you know how hard it is to dress a man who thinks black is a personality?’

But eventually—

success.

He stepped out wearing a clean white shirt and fitted pants, the dark aesthetic toned down just enough to make him look less "international criminal" and look like an actual model.

I blinked. ’Oh no. I think I created a problem.’

Because now, instead of people avoiding him out of fear, they were absolutely going to stare.

A lot.

I slowly looked up at him, then typed: "...This is worse."

He frowned slightly. "Why?"

I stared at him, dead serious. ’Congratulations, I’ve made you hot.’

...And absolutely did not say it out loud because I don’t want to be the first one to say that.

Instead, I simply held out my paws like a tiny, furry queen issuing a command. "Go. Let’s go..."

"Satisfied with my outfit now?" he asked as he picked me up.

I nodded, because yes—unfortunately, he now looked like someone who would ruin hearts emotionally instead of physically.

We walked down the hall until we reached a door and standing beside it was Agatha.

The moment our eyes met, she gave me a subtle nod.

I immediately gave her a thumbs up.

Mission success.

Which meant, she definitely had Gawain with her.

Hidden, secured, and hopefully not doing anything dramatic like breathing too loudly.

I didn’t know where she hid him, and frankly, I didn’t want to know. Agatha had her methods, and I had my peace of mind.

Soren stepped forward and opened the door—

—and boom!

A portal.

Just... casually sitting there in the middle of the room like it paid rent.

I blinked. ’...Excuse me?’

A glowing, swirling portal occupied the center, humming softly like it wasn’t about to casually break the laws of physics.

And that’s when it hit me.

’Wait...

If there was a portal here this entire time...

...then why—

why did Soren have to fly the first time he brought me here?’

I slowly turned my head toward him, eyes narrowing.

’Did he just want to show off?

Because if he did, I swear—’

My thoughts screeched to a halt when he stepped forward, very much ready to enter the portal alone with me.

Absolutely not.

"Agatha..." I said, pointing at her, then at us, like a very determined, slightly fluffy traffic officer.

He paused and looked between us. "You want her to come?"

I nodded.

"I’m assuming if I don’t let her come," he continued, already sounding like a man who had seen his future and didn’t like it, "you’ll just sulk, annoy me, and ruin our trip for the whole day."

I nodded again, this time tilting my head slightly for maximum cuteness.

He sighed then he caught my tail and lightly pinched it. "Fine..."

’...Sir.’

I slowly turned my head toward him, eyes narrowing into slits.

’Excuse me, what exactly gives you the right—’

I physically stopped myself.

’No.’

’Not now.’

I inhaled, exhaled, forcing myself to choose peace.

’Let him be...’ 𝒇𝒓𝙚𝒆𝔀𝓮𝓫𝒏𝓸𝙫𝓮𝓵.𝓬𝙤𝙢

Because, truly, was it worth it?

Was it worth derailing my entire master plan just to argue with a man who clearly suffered from a severe and incurable case of Hands Wander Where They Shouldn’t Syndrome?

No.

No, it was not.

I had goals and none of that included starting a war over my tail.

’For now.’

So instead of snapping at him, I simply looked away with all the dignity I could muster, choosing to let this offense be recorded... and revisited at a later time.

Preferably when it would be most inconvenient for him.

He, completely unaware of how close he came to disaster, shifted his attention to Agatha.

"Let’s go."

And just like that, we stepped into the portal.

The world twisted and flipped like my internal organs were trying to rearrange themselves alphabetically.

I felt dizzy—violently, personally dizzy—and for a second, I questioned every life decision that led me here.

When I finally opened my eyes, the dizziness faded just enough for me to actually see where we were.

...and I forgot how to function.

It looked like a train station.

Except there were no trains, only portals.

Rows and rows of them, glowing in different colors, sizes, and intensities. People walked in and out casually, like this was completely normal and not the most confusing commute system I had ever witnessed.

I slowly turned my head to the portal we just came out of.

It looked... expensive.

Like it had a bank account and a superiority complex.

Meanwhile, the others looked like they were still trying to pay off loans.

"My Lady," Agatha said gently, noticing my very obvious confusion, "this portal is only used for high ranking nobles or V.I.P’s that have their own portals."

’Wow... Soren’s so lucky to both have wings and a personal portal.’

We finally walked out of the station, Soren still carrying me, and the sight that greeted me outside was enough to make me forget my dizziness entirely.

Tall buildings reached up into the sky like they were trying to compete with the clouds. Cars floated above the streets, gliding past in smooth, silent traffic like that was perfectly reasonable.

But what made it surreal wasn’t just the architecture, it was how nature had been woven into everything.

The roads themselves were strange and beautiful, blending nature and technology in a way that should have looked chaotic but somehow didn’t.

Vines climbed along the sides of skyscrapers.

Trees grew between structures like they had always belonged there.

The bridges that connected every buildings were covered in greenery, like hanging gardens in the middle of the city.

I stared at the sight. ’...Okay. So this is where my sanity officially gives up.’

But just when I thought I had reached my limit, I saw all kinds of beastmen.

Reptilians with glimmering scales and sharp, refined features that gave them an almost regal, untouchable air.

Mammalians with soft ears twitching atop their heads, tails slowly swaying behind them, and fur patterns so well-kept they might as well have had personal stylists.

Aviarians carried themselves with a proud, upright posture, feathers layered perfectly, catching the wind as they moved.

And then there were the piscine types, subtle gills can be seen along their necks.

They were everywhere, blending perfectly into the city and somehow, despite the overwhelming variety, there was one thing they all had in common:

’They looked ridiculously elegant.’

Some were beautiful in a soft, mesmerizing way. Others were the kind of handsome that made people do double takes without even realizing it. Even the ones who looked intimidating had a certain charm to them—like danger, but make it attractive.

I slowly glanced down at myself.

While they were all humanoid, perfectly balanced between beast and human, I was not.

Not even close.

I was a full beast.

’This is unfair.’

Because I knew, if Soren wasn’t here, I wouldn’t be like this right now. I’d be in my humanoid form, blending into the crowd instead of being... this.

I glanced up at him, still carrying me as I looked in front, watching as a pair of beastmen walking past, one with shimmering scales, the other with soft fur, both looking like they had just stepped out of a high-end magazine.

"Where do you wanna go first?" Soren asked, his voice pulling me out of my very important inspection.